|
|
|
|
|
| |
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:51:39 PM | If I had all that I would have to take the chance.. But I would proceed slowly.
Besides who’s to say it won’t work and that you have not grown and learned from your past relationships. Still I know its hard..
I think you have to stop looking at the next person as the next hurt because you will project this image and drive them away.. live , love , laff. | |
|
Sigi
|
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| |
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:38:49 PM | Op ; I feel bad for you.
Regardless of weather you are living together or not, the hurt is just as bad,
Getting ones heart broken can be very devastating.
It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
These are chances we all take, regardless of how bad we have been hurt.
When some one has had such a wonderful fullfilling relationship with some one it really takes time before they can give their whole heart to some one again.
Rather it be the fact of having it broken again, or learning to trust again.
It is difficult to have a relationship with some one like that because you feel they are not giving their whole self.
I feel until one has gotten over that love, they should not get into another serious relationship until they are ready to except the fact that they can put their all in it.
It is not fare to the person your with.
This to me is bring ing baggage into the relationship,,,,,,
One does have to move on, and leave things they have no control over.
.Count their blessings for the time and experience they got from that relationship
Do what you need to do to make your self happy,,,
As citygirl,/,Sue, states ''I to believe..
I agree with Sue. You have to be willing to take another chance. Each new relationship provides an opportunity to gain all that you seek. Without trust you cannot be complete. Especially when it comes to what's most important - learning to trust yourself. | |
|
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:50:46 PM | Hey OP,
Enjoy the moment and as things progress deal with it as it comes along. He needs to work through his own issues regarding committment and it sounds like he may have some trust issues. Open patience, communication and open dialogue may help your relationship continue to progress in a healthy way. Why project into the future? Things may change and he may experience some personal growth (or not) in the area of relationship. The thing is if one puts out the energy that the relationship is doomed, it's that self-fulling prophecy and I feel that we subconsiously sabotage so that it will ultimately fail. It depends on what you want to risk for yourself. Are you willing to participate in this relationship knowing that he's fearful of committment and has "work" ahead of him to do in order to work it out for himself and he just may not work through it while you're together?
I tend to agree with DRG that working issues out before becoming involved is healthier, but not all people are able to do this for themselves.
Tiffi | |
|
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:51:18 AM | At the end of the day, no matter how much you love a person and want to commit, if the feelings are not reciprocated, then you either keep going as your are and stagnate or you do the selfish thing and look elsewhere.
Look at it this way, we all have a finite time living on this rock and if your living in a stagnated relationship your hurting your chances of finding that elusive 'the one'.
He might be a guy you walk past every day, but because your head is full up of keeping the current thing alive, you don't see him.
And he's thinking 'yeah she's really pretty, but ah! she's taken'. and walks on.
Sometimes life's choices are hard, especially in matters of love but we all learn from our experiences and take away lessons learned.
Some good, some bad.
The game of love is a tough gamble but if you don't play or hamper your chances, your never gonna win.
So says the word of Greg
In my humble opinion | |
|
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:07:31 AM |
you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,. .....This has to be the most over rated phrase I have ever heard in my life. Basically it's just another term for 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you'.
This is merely MY OPINION......Afraid to commit is an EXCUSE not to commit. Everyone has had bad experiences, so what makes one person's hurt worse than the other?
People who are not prepared to let go of their pains of the past, should not be dating, or even think about dating, instead they should start to focus on themselves and get their self esteem back together. | |
|
| Ok, you've had your heart broken, you could love them, but you're afraid to commit to them,.
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:03:47 AM | Can we love someone knowing that it may be our biggest heart break but do it any ways? i'd say that most of us on here have been through some heart break in our lives. And look we are still here, we can survive and we can risk our hearts again. Being human we go through hard feelings, good feelings, thoughts that make us soar, and those that will drive us to the brink of certain disaster. And one thing is for sure we have the ability to Live life and Love.
We do this because we know just how precious love is. We want things to last because we don't want to suffer, and yet we only love half throttle because we are afraid of the fragility we have experienced in the past. I can't say I've Loved many in my life or taken to many risks with my heart because of the above. But I am now. I simply can't do it any different any more. If we want a love that is worth dying for we must die... Die to our old selves and the parts that hold us back, This doesn't mean that we jump in blind, but it does mean that during the natural timing of our relating with someone special we will be triggered into emotional turmoil and vicious thought patterns we will have the opportunity to grow through.
When things are new, like we meet someone and there is uncertainty, we do this part on our own, and all our insecurities come up and we are afraid to share those as the relationship isn't formed or the quality of the togetherness hasn't been developed. If we have a good friendship base around us we can work through things with them. If we don't we need to have the courage and depth of character to work through what comes up, and be able to communicate with our special someone to the degree they are open to do so. Journaling and banter writing is also good during this time. And generally just taking good care of yourself are important.
The other person is obviously important to us and we need to focus on them, listen and nurture the hurt parts that hold them back. Just being a good friend, protecting their heart and being aware of the natural boundaries that are there. We can challenge them to grow but we need to learn their pace and not push them or pull them beyond what they can cope with. And when we do we need to be strong enough to be able to back off while nurturing them, and show that we love them enough to give them the freedom to love with a free heart. We all have our fears and insecurities and its important to not hide and pretend we are not human. Its such a balancing act especially if our special someone has been hurt in the past.
Finding the love and support to grow is harder these days as so many are suffering. reach out and support others going through similar situations and learn from each other. We are all in this together.
crazylilting | |
|
| |
|
|
Home
login 
