| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:37:17 PM |
And this girl I was having the conversation with said "If i see a guy with ugly girls I wouldn't hit on him, b/c I would think that's all he could get".
I personally think her comment was very shallow. But the other people we were around sorta agreed with her.
The part you are missing is how attractive is the guy? If a guy is good looking, he is good looking. It won't matter if he has a pretty girl on his arm or a water buffalo in high heels, if he's attractive enough, women will have interest.
The second part you are missing is no matter how attractive a guy is, most women won't "hit on him", they might give small clues that they are ok or more than ok with being approached. But that's about it.
The uglier the guy, the prettier girl he needs if he wants to earn first impression credibility that he can date pretty girls. I don't know why people call that shallow, that's just how life works. If Mel Gibson walked into your job tomorrow and chatted it up with you like old pals and took you to lunch on your lunch break, I assure you people at your job will start to treat you different, in many cases better.
I've done it before. A friend of mine, her younger brother was having a very hard time with women. He was a nice guy and had a good job and was healthy, but he was a little too nice for his own good and he wasn't exactly the best looking guy in the world to be honest. So on his birthday, I took him to a nice crowded bar and made a scene like I was jealous of all the women who kept talking to him all day long at his job. And I left. He told me later that 5 or 6 women came up to him that night, one after another and he ended up with phone numbers for four of them.
It's not shallow to accept that credibility, even the instant kind, is it's own form of currency. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:31:43 AM | | Lol, sounds like that girl you were talking to, is a real "winner". all jokes aside sadly, enough there are people out there who try to get a idea of who you are by looking at your friends because the way your friends look, somehow tells them what kind of person you are without even talking to you, lol, people like that are so lame I think i'll slit my wrist. | |
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notard
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 29 | |
| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:59:25 AM | In my experience when I have been out with platonic lady friends who are of "average" or less in looks, good looking women ignore me. On the other hand, when I am with one or more good looking women, hotties check me out and some openly flirt with me. There is no doubt about it. I am the very same guy but their perception of me substantially differs and their overt behavior demonstrates this fact!
I learned long ago that if a guy wants to date good looking women he better not be seen dating a woman who is not. Better to not have a date at all.
My friends are important to me no matter what their appearance, age or social status and I will go anywhere with them. Let the chips fall where they may. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:41:11 PM |
I've done it before. A friend of mine, her younger brother was having a very hard time with women. He was a nice guy and had a good job and was healthy, but he was a little too nice for his own good and he wasn't exactly the best looking guy in the world to be honest. So on his birthday, I took him to a nice crowded bar and made a scene like I was jealous of all the women who kept talking to him all day long at his job. And I left. He told me later that 5 or 6 women came up to him that night, one after another and he ended up with phone numbers for four of them.
Now THAT is the mark of a true friend. Way to go, DQ!
I had a friend of mine do that for me once. She didn't go all out the way you did, but she did in fact spend the night giving nasty looks to other women. The result? You guessed it: more attention than I knew what to do with at the time!
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:41:17 PM | Ok, here is exactly how it went down.
I was hanging out with a guy friend. And 2 of my female friends from out of town, were in VAN. So I said lets meet up. So we meet up, then my male friend bails soon after, hung out with some people he knows DT instead.
The next day I was hanging out with my VAN friends (all guys except one girl). And my male friend made a comment about their looks. I said I don't care what they look like, there my friends, I like hanging out with them. The girl friend of one of my friends was there, and she said the comment "If i see a guy with ugly girls I wouldn't hit on him, b/c I would think that's all he could get" (yes sure is attractive, but she's the type that will NOT leave the house without makeup, but will complain how long it takes to look good). Then the guys there agreed with her. My one friend sorta said that was the reason why he left so soon after meeting them.
I told everyone there, "It shouldn't matter what my friends look like. I hangout with you ugly dudes".
Yes I know I did not phrase my orignal comments well (me no goodie at english).
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My comments on other people's comments.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Come on people, lets not live in "la la land". If a person is really attractive or really unattractive. It's pretty easy to tell.
Now if a person is a lil under average looking - to average - to a lil above average looking, that can very on a person's opinion.
The comments on this topic have been pretty split.
But it seems, that more people think it hurts ones chances hanging out with unattractive females. But honestly, who would want to go after someone who is shallow enough to do that.
I don't like how "competative" womenare around other women. Like only 0.00001%, of guys wouldn't hit on a girl, caz she is hanging out with ugly guys. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:19:33 PM |
But it seems, that more people think it hurts ones chances hanging out with unattractive females. But honestly, who would want to go after someone who is shallow enough to do that.
People's perception of your credibility impacts your everyday life. If you have a friend who wants to work at your job, and you introduce him to your boss, your boss doesn't know this guy, your boss only knows you and the kind of employee you are. If you are a good employee, a model employee, if you say your friend is solid, your boss will probably take your word on it. If you are a crappy employee, the kind who should be fired at this point, if you say your friend is solid, your boss will probably make the safe bet that your friend is a deadbeat like you.
If you applied to medical school and you were on the fence in terms of getting in, but suddenly Colin Powell made a personal phone call to the Dean of the school and said you were a good kid and bright and just needed a chance, what do you think would happen? You'd get in the school. Your credibility rises as the established credibility of the person vouching for you is higher.
That's real life. So if you think people's perception of you is "shallow", then realize you do that same shit to other people every single day. Everyone does. That's real life. It's why people who maintain their appearance get treated better than someone with dirty clothes and unkempt hair.
Again, you miss the point, if you look like Taye Diggs, and you are flanked by two 500 pound women, it doesn't matter. If you look like hammered shit, and you are flanked by two 500 pound women, then you better believe you aren't helping yourself if you want to get the best looking women in the bar.
Here's a not so big secret for you, you can conjure up all kinds of reasons why the women you want to sleep with don't want to sleep with you but it's not that hard to figure out. They just don't want you. Could be for 100 reasons, could be for no reason at all. Rejection happens to everyone, deal with it. | |
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notard
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 35 | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/17/2007 1:45:15 PM | Well.....I am older and looks still mean quite a bit to me because if there is not the sparks and sexual attraction, and I am looking for a relationship, then what I have is another friend.
Nothing wrong with many friends, and I cherish them, but I think for many of us, we are looking for a significant other to have that relationship with, in order to share our lives and adventures.
I would much prefer to have those adventures and then head home or to my room with someone that I know will keep me happy through the night as well as during the day........
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/17/2007 2:05:01 PM | Perhaps you hit the nail on the head; your friends are just that. The people you were around were not and be thankful for it. I should hope we don’t pick friendships based on what the opinion of some shallow, egotistical, self-centred person may place value on.
In life we make friends for various reasons; shared interests, there ability to be a shoulder to lean on, capable of making you laugh and most of all…have your best interests at heart ....and they care. If these are the people you surround yourself with, you have proven that you have earned some level of integrity. | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 39 | |
| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:18:17 AM | There are a lot of "shallow" people here. But that is really cold. Who cares what your friends look like, hot or not it's the personality that counts.
OK if I saw a guy hanging out with friends like your and he came up to me started to talk to me, I wouldn't care who his friends were.
I'm mainly trying to know him.
But I think most girls/women tends to stay away if they see a man hanging out with a woman because they think that person is taken. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/18/2007 4:02:11 PM | The question is would you drop your friends to possible have an opportunity to be with a shallow person.
my take on it is ..unattractive ladies is a perspective in ones eyes ,what some find unattractive in appearance others find uniquely beautiful. Most important is peaple with good personality's have friends of all appearance.
Make good friends and you will meet beautiful peaple, make no friends and you will only be lonely. Good luck in your quest. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 3/20/2007 10:43:32 PM | Dancing queen understands from a "hot chick" point of view.
Put yourself in the shoe of a hot chick who gets hit on daily by 500 guys. And imagine yourself in a bar. You see an avearage guy 5/10. And you see him with really sexy and hot 10/10 female companions (you'd probably thinking -- player -- I'm staying away, although he might be good bc he achieved well in the female's department). If he approaches you, you might be repelled.
But if you see him with average looking girls and just loving the time he's having. This average guy might come across as interesting in personality and this produces a vibrant energy that might attract you and make you want to know him more. If he appraoches you, you'd be wanting to know what he has to say.
Ok you can stop pretending you're a hot chick now. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:03:40 PM | Indeed it does; whether you like to admit it or not. Its part of learning about social interaction. Moreover, this is only applicable to women. Men who are seen in social settings interacting with attractive women, the more 'desirable' he is to the opposite sex. This is indeed conversely proportionate to how attractive the male in question is, mind you, and it does not work both ways. Theres a lot more at play in those kind of social dynamics, but truly enough the whole concept of it is called 'social proofing'. Hanging out with hot attractive females makes you look and appear confident enough to handle and interact with women of that league. If you don't believe it look it up. I know, sounds very shallow, but then again most people are, up to some degree.
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:19:59 PM | I won't just discuss this op, I will tell you why you've made a mistake. Its called the ladder theory:
The girls you're with are at a lower level than you normally date. Girls who see you will automatically associate you with that lower level, and find you undesirable.
If seen with hotter girls, you're seen as a catch, as other women realize you must be all that if you've gained the trust of a hottie. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/7/2008 6:42:16 PM | | Depends on the woman. There is a theory that women will go after the guy that has a few women around him because they assume that he is a good potential partner because he has attracted others. Other people tend to see that as competition they may not wish to engage and will target the man without so much attention. It was a shallow statement and probably good for you if people think that way that your friends will act as a human shield to their attempting to interact with you. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:36:41 PM | | I don't see how hanging around unattractive females friends would ruin your chances for picking up women, you figure it would be just the opposite, unless the women your trying to pick up have nothing else to offer but their looks, and feel threatened by your friendships because the unattractive women have more to them, intelligence, creativity , not materialistic and superficial and don't have to rely on their looks to hold your attention. | |
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