| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/8/2008 9:47:52 PM | | All the OP is observing is what's called "social proofing". In essence, if he only has unattractive female friends, then it is generally assumed that that is what he is capable of attracting. This is a well-known and observed fact, not like some pipe dream conceived by Cosmo. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:45:18 PM |
Also I was wondering if that logic of "that's the best he can do, so I wouldn't let him hit on me" was common with other girls/guys (I highly doubt it would be common for guys though) or not.
Would you really want to date someone who would think that way? As though "the best he can do" could be determined by looks! There are many attractive ***holes out there, and what's attractive to one person may not be to another. Looks are one piece of a much larger package. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/14/2008 3:57:39 PM | unfortunately that girl is right, because people do judge on looks, and people will judge you by the company you keep.
Try going out to a club with a so so friend and then another night with a attractive friend. If it looks like your having a good time with your attractive friend, you'll probably get approached by other attractive women in the club . | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:09:47 PM |
So I was hanging out with some female friends of mine, and I most admitt they are not hot. One is avg looking & one is below avg looking. I personally don't care what they look like b/c they are just platonic freinds.
And this girl I was having the conversation with said "If i see a guy with ugly girls I wouldn't hit on him, b/c I would think that's all he could get".
I personally think her comment was very shallow. But the other people we were around sorta agreed with her.
DISCUSS
In my experience, your friend is absolutely right. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:14:43 PM | OP wrote:......."If i see a guy with ugly girls I wouldn't hit on him, b/c I would think that's all he could get".
I think that's most likely a load of crap. Probably, the reverse would be true: You'd have more girls hitting on you, because they would be less intimidated by the 'less attractive' girls!
I connected with my partner for the first time when I was out for drinks with a 'less attractive' male friend. Was he less likely to hit on me because of my 'ugly' male friend? On the contrary, he was more comfortable because he knew the guy 'couldn't possibly' be my boyfriend!  | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:36:41 PM | "I personally think her comment was very shallow"
one question,, do you see "One is avg looking & one is below avg looking. I personally don't care what they look like b/c they are just platonic freinds." as shallow?
anyone who judges ppl soley upon looks, in my opinion, isnt worth the space they take up on the planet. What is really nuts about it, is that those same ppl seem to be under the impression that they are immune to aging. I wonder if you would be so shallow from the seat of a wheelchair that you will never stand up from. Or if you had gotten burned horiffically in an accident, or if any other catastrophic incident caused great disfigurement to you.
i offer you some perspective in this post. please gain some, so no one ever has to be assaulted by that level of "shallowness" that you and that chick in the bar seem so easily prone to. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:48:36 PM | You know, a lot of you people are friggin retarded. All this "shallow" crap is really pathetic, and completely transparent. The above poster exemplifies my statement.
one question,, do you see "One is avg looking & one is below avg looking. I personally don't care what they look like b/c they are just platonic freinds." as shallow?
anyone who judges ppl soley upon looks, in my opinion, isnt worth the space they take up on the planet.
The OP didn't "judge" her. It's not like he said "my friend is unattractive and therefore unproductive to society." If she's unattractive, she's unattractive. It's like if I were to say the grass is green. No shit the grass is green, and she's also unattractive. It's not like I'm judging the green grass. He's pointing out the obvious for the sake of his post. Jesus Christ, it's like you people are scared to (publicly) draw a line in the sand lest anyone think bad thoughts of you (though I'm sure you all internally make "judgements" like these every day), and you're so worried about offending ANYONE that you'll all jump on the crybaby bandwagon. Hypocrites and pu$$ys, that's what I see. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:54:48 AM | You know, a lot of you people are friggin retarded. All this "shallow" crap is really pathetic, and completely transparent. The above poster exemplifies my statement.
YOUR POST IS FLAMING AND OFF TOPIC. IT WAS YOUR ATTEMPT TO BELITTLE THINGS YOU CLEARLY DONT UNDERSTAND.
some of us,, well everyone makes judgements, its human nature to do so, its just that the majority of ppl who have matured dont make shallow judgements based on looks, as you and the OP did.
his op could have been only about what the girl said and it would have demonstrated the point to anyone with a 5 grade education. but instead, he claimed his own shallow notions about his friends looks. to ppl who are shallow, they dont have the capacity to grasp this very simple notion.
and since it was my post you clipped from,,
i would attempt to explain it to you again, but whats the point?? i mean, you yourself admit that some ppl ( just look in your own mirror) are, oh wait, now what was that term you so eloquently used,, oh yeah,, FRIGGIN RETARDED | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/15/2008 4:26:19 AM | | No-one will feel the same attraction as another person. Peoples idea of attraction is different and very varied. I think that the girl you were talking about was very shallow,and her friends. I'm never particularly attracted to fat women at first,but when I can sit down and talk to someone,somehow the looks thing doesn't mean so much,and the attractive girls don't seem so attractive,and less attractive women,more attractive. Personally,I am never attractive to the so called beautiful women,and find more attractive women walking down my street every day. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:55:51 PM | And this girl I was having the conversation with said "If i see a guy with ugly girls I wouldn't hit on him, b/c I would think that's all he could get".
I certainly hope that you replied "that your friend is much prettier than her" at that moment.
pretty sad that they are your friends, i sure would'nt want to be your friend.There must be something about them that you keep them as friends, personality goes way farhter than looks to some.
I assure you, there are many beautiful women visually but as soon as they open their mouths they can be very ugly  | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:08:01 AM | Shallow as a shore well on Mud Lake.....
Seriously -- it would be useful to scan-replace "SMART" for "PRETTY" and "STUPID" for "UNATTRACTIVE" (if it hasn't been noted: non-attractive isn't a legitimate English word) and try re-reading the whole forum --- there is after all no universal standard of human perfection like a shade of green grass or meter bar resting in a vault somewhere at a controlled temperature which can be used to measure everyone's relative standing in respect to perfect beauty....
Attractiveness is highly media driven in today's culture -- it would have been more pragmatically rooted in the past -- where survival in an extremely hostile world matter the most over those factors we are trained to believe represent great beauty and attractiveness today... | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:30:01 AM | Wow that line is brutal, "If I see a guy with ugly girls, I wouldn't hit on him, cause I'd think that was all he could get." It has to be true to some degree. Some people even judge you on how attractive your friends are.
However, I have been told differently. I was at a bar with a friend who I thought was really beautiful. When my friend left, a woman came up to me and said, "You can do so much better." Huh? What? I didn't know what she meant and she elaborated, "You're girlfriend. You can do better than her, I mean looks wise."
I was pretty insulted, although I guess it was a compliment. I said that we were just friends and the woman was still interested in me. Funny thing is, I considered that woman's looks to be less than my friend's. | |
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| Hanging out with non-attractive female friends, ruin picking up girls?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:39:23 AM | I didn't read all the posts, but in response to the OPs original post...
That would not be the kind of woman I would want to date. That comment certainly says alot about her as a person...
I would think just the opposite....
That you must be a nice genuine guy with a healthy self esteem, who looks beyond the physical and develops friends based on deeper qualities than looks....
I think most people both men and women would come away with that thought....
And again if they think you are a big loser... Just be glad you dodged a bullet in getting involved with them.
DK | |
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