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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:43:48 AM |
Single mums have been demonised by politicians, the church & the media & general public have sucked it up. The single mums have been labeled all sorts of things such as... s!uts & baby bonus bonkers, lazy bludgers & other bad words. Whereas single dads don't cop anything derogatory. I've never had anything but accolades for being a single dad. Bit of a double standard (sexist).
you are most likely desperate for a bonk yourself then.
there are plenty of people with your sexist standards towards men mate.
generally, men do not get a fair go at all.... | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:52:30 PM | I used to be so ignorant to this subject until I became a single mother.
I never knew what a single mother goes through not that I was a total ignorant but just never came across it or had to deal with it. My dad to this day at the age of 71 still tries his best to make his family comfortable all my uncles and cousins the same, family is a very important part of all these men and women I know so naturally I thought it was the same for all. I suppose I saw life through rose coloured glasses. We were spoiled with love and attention and therefore I thought that's what all mums and dads do for their children. Protect and love and work towards their future.
Until now, my case is so much better than many others and probably still I have no idea how some do it.
I wish I could do something to make life better for all but I can't...I wish I could at least be able to influence one mum or one dad, that I might be able to do.
The only way this could get better is for the parents to stop fighting each other and start thinking about their children. There are many mums and dads who are actually doing this and working towards their children’s comfort and future even though they are not together, saying we couldn't be together but that doesn't mean the children should suffer. I wish as much as we couldn't work in a family unit together at least we could work towards our children’s present and future and give them what we failed in the family unit.
The only way maybe we understand each other is to swap and live in the other’s shoes. And not see it as what about me and what I miss out but what children will gain.
Probably government can only push and force and at the end make it even worse for some, since nothing can be tailored to suit individual’s needs.
These children didn’t have a say to be part of our lives, now they are here let’s give them a future. After all they are our flesh and blood and representatives. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:31:31 PM | I don't have children, so really I shouldn't comment in this section. But I do have lots of sole parent friends and a sister who has done it very tough. So I am writing on this from their point of view.
In this example, I will use my sister as the model of this story of which I am about to tell.
My sister married very young at the age of 18. Soon after this, she gave birth to my eldest nephew. Through the trauma and constant abuse she endured through her marriage from her husband, which soon went to abusing her small child, she left him, with her child and tried to make a new life for herself and her son.
In the following years, my nephews' father would only see him when the father wanted to. My sister tried to work, but she was missing out on so much of my nephews growing years, as at the time of her separation from her husband, my nephew was only 2 years old.
With the help of our mum and dad, she was able to gain work, working night shift at a local petrol station. This job was short lived as my nephew was to young to understand that his mummy was not there during the night.
Her ex husband didn't fill in a tax record for many years, therefore avoiding child support as he had no taxable income. She lived, somehow on the sole parent pension for about 4 years with the help of our parents contributing to their grandsons future as well as helping my sister in financial matters.
In my opinion, single mothers do it very tough. At least my sister did as she never received $3000 for having my nephew. She got by on her pension because she explained to Social Security that her job was to be at home to care for her little boy. She didn't focus on finding a boyfriend, or finding even sex. She focused on the only person that mattered to her, her own child.
If society was more like this, rather than having kids just for money, the world would be a better place. I take my hat off to any mother who has chosen to raise their own flesh and blood on their own.
Although my sister has remarried and has had another son, our parents are still there to offer her any advice, whether it be emotional, financial or even the basics of raising children in the day and age of today.
Children are really, two people's responsibility, their parents. Raising children should not be left to the government, the grand parents or even donations from a church or charity network. Two people were involved in the creating of this little person, so I believe that two people must both contribute to the upbringing of that child.
Most of the mothers I know go without so their children can have. I do not know any fathers who are in fact sole parents, but I do know lots who have joint custody of their children. These fathers contribute more than money, they offer emotional comfort to their children as well. This is part of being a parent.
It is hard enough on a child when their mum and dad break up, without one party (either the mother or the father) making it harder for them to succeed in life as a normal person.
I hear stories on the radio of mothers having water on their breakfast cereal in the morning just so the children can have the milk. Then I see on the tv at night children who don't have shoes to go to school or even sometimes no lunch, but you can see the cigarettes and alcohol on the table as they are being interviewed.
People need to get their priorities right. Every child has the right to feel loved, feel full from food and be warm in the winter. Unfortunately some children never see this life and those children my heart really hurts for.
Children are a life long responsibility, no parent should see this as a chore in their life. After all, every single one of us does have a choice in the matter. But the child has no choice. He/she has no choice of what their family is like, whether mum and dad will be together for the rest of his/her life, or even if they are together, are they giving everything to that child that that child deserves?
If you asked any child from any sole parent family these questions, you may be shocked in their answers.
a) If you didn't care if your mum and dad loved you, as long as you had a playstation, what would you choose? Answer: I would much prefer their love, because I love them.
b) If you could choose between you having a nice sandwich for lunch, or maybe mum or dad having that extra money to buy those things that make them happy, like smokes or alcohol, what would you choose? Answer: I'd love any type of sandwich for lunch.
It is so sad when you face the reality of what some parents are doing to these poor little innocent children. It makes me cry everytime I see cases like this, but what can I do about it?
I could, become a foster mother, as I know I do have plenty of love to give these children, I could choose to adopt one of these poor little ones, I could turn my back on it all and choose to bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't involve me. But with this said, I can't foster any children as I am not married or in a permanent relationship, I certainly cannot adopt for much the same reasons as fostering a child. I choose not to bury my head in the sand and pretend it is not happening. Because it is.
The only thing I can do is offer my services to these mothers and fathers who do indeed do it tough. If a person is truly selfless and wants to give everything they have to their children, they will. But if you get a greedy individual, he/she simply cannot fathom the idea of doing something that would make an hour of his life a little harder, just to make a whole day seem brighter for their own flesh and blood.
A child is only a child until they reach adulthood, but a mother and a father are parents for their entire LIFE!
I would have to say on this topic tho, The USA have it right in this matter. If a parent does not pay for thier child's wellbeing. That is food, clothing, shelter, education, health insurance and anything else that child needs until that child is able to do all these things for themselves, they are penalized by the government revoking their drivers licence, and in some cases the parent who is not helping out financially could in fact face prison terms. I for one, would love to see this happen in Australia.
This is my opinion and it is an opinion I do feel very strongly about. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:38:10 PM | | The whole point of welfare is so that money from the better off can be distributed to the less better off that way poorer members of society or people that are unable to be self-sufficient and there kids can have the basic necessities of life. I think that in theory it is a good idea if a person can be self-sufficient but unfortunately a lot of single parents need flexibility as they may not be able to get the help they need from friends and family or there work history may be poor so i think cultural change is needed so that these people don't slip through the cracks by not being able to get a steady job. Unfortunately for some people once society paints a picture of a stereotype and you fit it, it is very hard to break out of. | |
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dnk8
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 155 | |
| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:07:51 AM | I'm with you 2sirwithlove!
I do go without for my daughter. I have been lucky enough to have my parents support us by looking after her so I can work (not financially). My rent no where near covers my rent - without work we wouldnt eat. My girl goes to a catholic school where everyone is in lets say a "different" situation than myself. As much as it depresses me to see "them" - I chose this for my child, a better education, more dedicated teachers and better resources...... I do this at my own cost.
We have a roof over our head, by bills are normally paid, we eat and we make the most of what we have. I provide eveything she needs and I do it alone. She is my number one. Life is hard enough, kids need a strong secure upbringing to survive and we can only give them the best we can. She is loved, happy, well balanced and healthy. I cant ask for more. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:06:21 AM |
A child is only a child until they reach adulthood, but a mother and a father are parents for their entire LIFE!
I can only speak for myself.... but my son will always be my son... and he will always be my child regardless if he is an adult or not... just as i will always be his mum....the only difference between him being young child and adult child is the age and the way i see him in that age which is exactly.... right now... he is young were im raising him to be a honest and respectable adult....once he is a grown adult.... and im asked if i have children... yes i have a child but he is an adult now..... so for me.... he will always be my child... just as i will always be his mum... and both of those bonds are for life..... same as my nephew will always be my nephew regardless of age... and so developes the family tree.
I would have to say on this topic tho, The USA have it right in this matter. If a parent does not pay for thier child's wellbeing. That is food, clothing, shelter, education, health insurance and anything else that child needs until that child is able to do all these things for themselves, they are penalized by the government revoking their drivers licence, and in some cases the parent who is not helping out financially could in fact face prison terms. I for one, would love to see this happen in Australia.
2sir... you may think this will work over here but i see many loop holes.... and what we have in measures for the NCP not paying their child support is alot better then sending them to jail or taking their lic off them... if you seriously think about it.... if this NCP relies on his/her lic to get to and from work.. or even needs it for work... and he/she loses it... then he/she cant work... so then there is no money to pay to pay the fine to get their lic back.... same with jail time... if the NCP is sent to jail for a period of time.... they might lose their job.... realistically what business these days will hold a position open for that person who is sent to jail for when they get out?... and what if the line of work the NCP is working in needs a criminal background check to get another job?.... as innocent as the "crime" might be... it is still on their record... same with them losing their lic.
What the CSA has in place.... is just as good if not better..... as the ATO and CSA and Centerlink are all linked to the same network and they can get the information at the stroke of one button...the person can be tracked down...say in my case.... my ex hasnt handed in a tax return in this will be his 4th year if he doesnt put it in.. the CSA sends a ping to ATO... that registers with the ATO and then they know how many pings that name has got.. and is alerted... if the ATO get 4pings from CSA... the NCP gets audited.... with a huge fine.... if they do put in their returns... child support still gets paid in some form.... and it is taken out of their returned money straight to CSA... the NCP doesnt even see it... and so on and so forth....
Now the CSA can also get past income amounts that the ATO releases for the year before from what the company has claimed... ( thats whats happened with me for my ex)
If no child support is paid ever...and the child is now of the age of 18.... or up until they are 25 and living at home and studying and over .... the payments may have stopped but the case doesnt close.... the debt is still there.... and it gives the NCP a black mark on their name... so when they get a credit check for a loan or what not.... that debt will come up.... it will never go away... until they pay it off..... even if they claim brankruptcy the debt is still there same as the debt for any ATO they may have... as it is a federal debt.
there is also arrears collection and direct wage collections... this is a legal bond with CSA and the company of employment of the NCP... if the company doesnt follow thru with the agreement they can be threatened and taken to federal court to do so. (also has happened in my case).
So if ya think jail time and losing a lic to which the person that has spent or lost mighten even learn from it and sees it as no big deal...is way better then a lifetime of debt is better.. thats your choice.... i personally prefer life time of debt. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:58:13 AM |
A child is only a child until they reach adulthood, but a mother and a father are parents for their entire LIFE!
this is not true in practice.
and it is no wonder why the non-resident parent often does not bother.
they are often not permitted to be anything more than a provider to the children.
in practice the resident parent gets all the financial assistance and also the legal advantage to often make it hard for the other parent .
the authorities tend to discriminate against the non-resident parent and discourage any involvement other than being a provider only.
the true bias comes in particularly where the resident parent is the mother.
in this way the politicans (often ex-lawyers) create and maintain a lucrative industry for their fellow university mates.
they also have a lucrative industry to fall back on when they leave politics to return to the legal fraternity or child support agency area of employment.
the idea of the government is to submit to the powerful womens lobby group (a minority group) and create a self preserving industry that generates its own security of existance by encouraging conflict and division of the parents.
the authorities create single parenthood and do not encourage fatherhood , instead they operate with prejudice against the non-resident parent and minimise the said parent's involvement in the child upbringing.
the taxes received from employee incomes of these associated self regulated/supported industries provide over-funding of them to the extent of supplying a large tax dividend surplus for the government.
these are lucrative government sanctified industries operating with legal and parental legislated prejudice against the non-resident parent.
single mothers will always scream the loudest, louder than the single fathers anyhow.
the reason why is that single fathers have been systematically created to be the minority group. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:54:00 AM | Poster 157 give me break.
government this government that.
if the parent who leaves takes some type of responsibility then why do we need the government for???
When my ex husband left all of a sudden he decided to just give me some money for the child and said go to the government and get the rest.... I am not used to men like that, to me he was a heartless coward not a man he had a dangling thing in between his legs but that doesn’t make him a man he had two bits with the dangle too but still he isn't a man for doing that. I was brought up with a mentality that I would sacrifice myself for my family.
So a man or woman decides this is it, the family thing isn't working for them and the wife or husband has gone pass the expiry date and they move on??? as simple as that???
some brag that they left and it was them leaving and feel so proud???
Do I hear people saying that? am I going nuts or do I actually hear that??? hahahahaha fantastic bravo hooray for you brave people who leave your families behind and have excuses to do so. You are all my heroes... heroes that didn't no how cope with reality and had to run away. but guess what my heroes? you only ran away from one person and the sad bitter truth is that person is yourself .
Shame on all those men or women who are not responsible and have made the government and all other tax payers pay for their children. Shame shame shame. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:13:44 AM | A child is only a child until they reach adulthood, but a mother and a father are parents for their entire LIFE!
I think in my extremely long post, I may have left out a few minor points. Please let me explain what I actually meant from the above posting.
I was not actually referring to the age of the child. I am 36, and my mother often reminds me that I am still her child. What I meant by this is the fact that SOME, not all, parents can avoid their children when they are children.
When a child is still considered a child in society, eg: when they are still attending school, they need their parents, both of them, not just their mother. Children of all ages need their parents. My mother is 61 and still needs her father for the odd occasion that she may need some advice from him. No child is ever grown up enough not to learn from their parents. My grandfather did not abandon his daughter when she got married, nor did my parents abandon me when I got married. That is what I was referring to. Maybe this is a mix of poor choice of words and I do apologize for any confusion I may have caused.
What the CSA has in place.... is just as good if not better..... as the ATO and CSA and Centerlink are all linked to the same network and they can get the information at the stroke of one button
This may be so, now days. But put yourself back 21 years and centrelink did not exist. Centrelink back then was known as Social Security, which is what this topic is all about. It does clearly state single mothers: underpaid by social security or...? Not, single mothers: underpaid by centrelink or ...?
Centrelink may have the technology to gain such information on individuals who do not submit taxation records, but Social Security did not.
This is the time I was referring to. As I said in my original post on this matter, I do not have children and I could only comment on my sisters case, which happened to be back in the Social Security days, not now.
Further more I will add, you have put up a valid topic discussion here and I am glad. But imagine this scenario.
The father of the child who you call the NCP is working as a self employed subcontractor up until the wife and child leave. As soon as this happens, he notifies his builder/contractor of a change in ownership of the subcontractor. His money can not be traced by CSA or the ATO as their records indicate that this person has not made any money in that financial year.
Then the NCP is left off the hook, but he is in fact working and earning money. He thinks it is ok for his ex wife to struggle along and pay her $20 per year for 13 years, until that child is working and earning his own money?
Another thing I will add here. All this work between the ATO, CSA and Centrelink to catch these thieving people who are actually stealing from their children and the government, wouldn’t it be more cost effective to put the loser in jail and have them do some real work?
Makes sense to me. But everyone to their own opinions.
I do go without for my daughter. I have been lucky enough to have my parents support us by looking after her so I can work (not financially). My rent no where near covers my rent - without work we wouldnt eat. My girl goes to a catholic school where everyone is in lets say a "different" situation than myself. As much as it depresses me to see "them" - I chose this for my child, a better education, more dedicated teachers and better resources...... I do this at my own cost.
We have a roof over our head, by bills are normally paid, we eat and we make the most of what we have. I provide eveything she needs and I do it alone. She is my number one. Life is hard enough, kids need a strong secure upbringing to survive and we can only give them the best we can. She is loved, happy, well balanced and healthy. I cant ask for more.
Now, excuse me but please let me say, this lady is a real mother. I do wish you and your daughter well, she is a very lucky girl and it is great to see that there are still mothers out there who have children because they want to and can handle the pressure of being a mother or father, as well as the joys of being a parent, not because of what money those children can bring them. Your daughter will know the magic of being in a close knit family, because she has grown up with that in her life with you.
This mother has got off her butt, got a job and PROVIDED for her child. It is more admirable to do this than know all the ins and outs of how centrelink, CSA and the ATO run, all at the push of a button.
But again, only my opinion, and I am not even a mother, but I am a taxpayer. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:56:40 AM | Social Security and Centrelink are one in the same... it just changed it names... its been on the same format for many years....but of recent years it has slackened off on its leeways... but now tightening up again... back 20 years ago when my mother did leave.... i was 12.... my dad was working fulltime and had been in the 16 years of their marriage..... my mother went straight into another relationship and also had been working fulltime for many years... so the services back then as i and my older sister were old enough to look after ourselves didnt have to lean on the govt payments for help.
CSA started up in 1988... that was the year my mother left us..... she was spose to pay $60 a month for myself plus my school uniform... this never happened....my dad paid for everything.. my mother also would have me for the max of the min time and she claimed me on her taxes as a dependant until i was 16... i busted her doing this when i walked in her doing her taxes...
I cant and my father cant claim the money of arrears my mother didnt pay for those 6 years.... she also didnt pay for my sister as she (sister) was working part time and could afford things herself.. my sister was 16 at the time...... its only been of say roughly the last 10 or so years that claims on arrears have been put forth for collection.... before the new change on collection came in it was all dead money.. hence why they changed it.
Back then contractors and subcontractors didnt have to put in BAS like they do these days... it is alot better and easier to collect from them now then it was back then... as back then cash in hand jobs were more readily available... where as now a days it has to be more so above board.... however there are some loopholes that i wont go into full detail of... ( might give some ideas ..lol).... but people that are on commission + wage bases salary can put a hold on their payments now until tax time comes... but then it is all bases on the year befores earning....
This mother has got off her butt, got a job and PROVIDED for her child. It is more admirable to do this than know all the ins and outs of how centrelink, CSA and the ATO run, all at the push of a button.
So you are saying i sit on my butt dont have a job and dont provide for my child.... coz i know the ins and out of what every single parent should now so they know they arent getting ripped off by the ATO or CSA from the NCP?... Centrelink do deduct money from a single parent who is receiving childsupport over a certain amount and above.. even if they arent getting paid the child support money money will get deducted regardless.. same as they deduct money from a working single parent each fortnight from their payments... and cut them off after a certain amount earnt each fortnight.
there is seriously no harm for a single parent to know how govt departments work when it does effect them... regardless if they are working or not.
Edit:
Another thing I will add here. All this work between the ATO, CSA and Centrelink to catch these thieving people who are actually stealing from their children and the government, wouldn’t it be more cost effective to put the loser in jail and have them do some real work?
who is paying to put and maintain these losers in jail? the taxpayers.... and what real work would they do in jail?.. they can get an education for free, work out.. sit around for most of the day... and all at the cost of the you got it ... the tax payers... find out how much it actually does cost to run a jail on a daily bases with the cost of the running of daily running bills and wages of staff... and how much it is to feed the inmates.... and i think really it wont be more cost effective to just throw them in jail coz they arent taking on their responsibility to help raise their kids financially. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:44:26 AM | Yup i have all the answers for everyone except my own life. So many people have viewed this thread. Must be all the single mums out there who have heaps of spare time. < For all the politicians out there this is it. ?
Yes we should shoot them. Ok im joking. Single mums put out alot because of there low self estem. Remmeber that guys. ;) Maybe thats why there are single mums. Yummy.
Ok short answer. See later for long answer.
Get unemployed and single mums to do courses online on things that can help them find a job or at least improve their self estem or lifes. If they do the course they get alittle more money in there payments. It could be learning languages to tieing knots or trade type things to food handling. Even on how a motor works or what screw to use to hold up a frame on a wall or how to change a tyre. It could be just a video online and then questions afterward. They can watch the video over and over till they answer all the questions. These videos need to be updated and feedback given by the people taking them to make them better.
The long complex answer.
I think we need to see the problem as the wholestically. The whole shebang of things all adds up. Example when the government wastes funds on projects that don't work or just aren't needed the resourcs are gone and it is lost opportunity for something else. This happens with our lives all the time. Its called opportunity cost. Everyone makes mistakes , but to keep repeating mistakes is wrong. If you really want to find the answers you need to get better reporting and transparency in all aspects of government so we don't get the same mistakes. The ABS is the answer and they have some of the information to the answers. They need more information and I want it collected from the banks and finance places and businesses and all aspects of financial life automatically. This information can be analyzed to help work out what the economy is doing now not six months after it has happened. I don't want people asked questions because its too subjective. I want it totally automatic. The reason for this information? So we can work out what is in demand in the economy and then do something about it to reduce the shortages where they are. I dont want some recruitment agency making up things or some real estate person trying to push up the prices. It has to be automatic.
Then this information has to be made sense off it can be used and be free of bias. This will help make better decisions but again its a big task.There is more.
It would take me to write a long long list of items. You may not see the connection here. I think internet is the solution . The problems of the economy can be solved with this tool and only this tool because it is almost universal and fast . That is most people can access it. In the economy there is constant change and because of this there is a misallocation of labor and capital. In plain english the people are not where the jobs are and the jobs don't stay there because of technology, environment and the needs change . This fast changing evironment is tough for the government to handle. Its tough for the people to handle. WE need a crystal ball . That is the science. It could help get the government to offer some courses online to at community centers to get people qualified in the jobs needed in the numbers needed. When the unemployed get paid they have to get to a computer at home or library or somewhere and do some course online to learn something if not tafe or uni. Knowledge brings light into your life and makes it interesting.
Now to really stick my neck out again on the choping block. We need to simplify some of the jobs by using standards so things fit together easy. I know it means more regulation but I think it would work. Again I want more transparency and feedback everyone can see.
We need the unemployed and single mums to see a light of hope at the end of the tunnel. The blame game is time wasting. I know alot of people will be against it because the shortage of certain workers keep there wages high. Stop being so emotional and please think out things logically.
The most important thing of all is never to be cynical and believe you can't make a difference. Once you become cynical you have lost already.
 I have the right to be wrong. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:49:57 AM | ^^^^^^
that must have been written by a very bored single dad on the social security pay that me a single mum pay from my taxes....oh now I know where my taxes go..
oh by the way ....Please explain! | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:15:03 AM | Im a single mum, I study fulltime, I work (did 33 hours last week.....do evening work or early morning shifts so I can still do my most important job) and I look after my 15 year old daughter by myself because her dad is a TOSSER who thinks he can get out of his responsibilities.
Yes Im on Centrelink aswell, because even after all of what I do I dont make the same as *normal* people.
See thats the problem, many single mums are NOT the irresponsible young women, most people generalise about, they are divorced and seperated women who may have stayed home to look after their children while the father worked. Now they are single they havent the skills. The only jobs they can get to fit in with the times their children are at school are low paid crap jobs. THAT, in my opinion is the problem. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:25:02 AM |
Poster 157 give me break.
government this government that.
if the parent who leaves takes some type of responsibility then why do we need the government for???
When my ex husband left all of a sudden he decided to just give me some money for the child and said go to the government and get the rest.... I am not used to men like that, to me he was a heartless coward not a man he had a dangling thing in between his legs but that doesn’t make him a man he had two bits with the dangle too but still he isn't a man for doing that. I was brought up with a mentality that I would sacrifice myself for my family.
So a man or woman decides this is it, the family thing isn't working for them and the wife or husband has gone pass the expiry date and they move on??? as simple as that???
some brag that they left and it was them leaving and feel so proud???
Do I hear people saying that? am I going nuts or do I actually hear that??? hahahahaha fantastic bravo hooray for you brave people who leave your families behind and have excuses to do so. You are all my heroes... heroes that didn't no how cope with reality and had to run away. but guess what my heroes? you only ran away from one person and the sad bitter truth is that person is yourself .
Shame on all those men or women who are not responsible and have made the government and all other tax payers pay for their children. Shame shame shame.
why are you so ignorant?
perhaps he figured correctly that he wasnt going to be considered anymore than being a provider by you or the government?
perhaps he figured that there was no way he was going to be "allowed" to have a "meaningful" part of his childrens life?
thats a very correct assumption to make too, when it comes to the administration of the family law act.
it is used for the benefit of lawyers and that of the resident parent, not for the child.
consideration of the residential parent comes last and every other factor that can be possibly invented is considered before them also.
in this way these people are never allowed to be proper parents even if they wanted to.
clearly, they do not encourage participation of non-resident parents, appart from paying money for their children they are not supposed to see. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:59:04 AM |
Ok short answer. See later for long answer.
Get unemployed and single mums to do courses online on things that can help them find a job or at least improve their self estem or lifes. If they do the course they get alittle more money in there payments. It could be learning languages to tieing knots or trade type things to food handling. Even on how a motor works or what screw to use to hold up a frame on a wall or how to change a tyre. It could be just a video online and then questions afterward. They can watch the video over and over till they answer all the questions. These videos need to be updated and feedback given by the people taking them to make them better.
Do you mean that this type of thing could be seen as a mature age apprenticeship to help the sole mothers back into the work force? If so, I think this is a great idea. Would on the job training also be provided? If this does happen, which I do hope it does in the future, it would be great.
Not only does this help out the sole parent in gaining some skills, it can also give them some self respect with the pride that they are also contributing financially to their childrens future and to teach their children that there is help available to those who find it difficult to find employment. Not to mention their social skills and confidence with others in society.
It would be a great inclusion in this when the mother in this instance, were to work for a living and she does not have family to fall back on for minding her children, if the government could step in and instead of paying the sole parent pension, provide free day care facilities for these children.
I for one, being a tax payer, as well as many others in this thread, who are also tax payers would rather see children cared for after school hours and holidays. It would bring this country, in my opinion, back to some sense of normality.
Yes Im on Centrelink aswell, because even after all of what I do I dont make the same as *normal* people.
I do not have a problem with people who receive a part pension, which sounds like mothers like yourself. You are studying and working almost full time hours as well. Plus caring for your daughter. If you can do this, why can't every one else do this.
I also understand that if children are in your care that need supervision due to some physical or other challenge in life, these children especially need their mother, possibly even more care. But to sit at home, while your children are at school and are perfectly healthy and not contribute to the upbringing of your child yourself, how can you expect for their father to pay also?
In my opinion, if you don't show your children how things work in the real world, how do you expect them to learn that one day they will need to get a job and work for a living. I see a lot of young girls who get pregnant just for the money on the news. I do not know these girls personally, but you can clearly see that these children are not products of love from within the confinements of a loving relationship. Like children of a marriage are. Many of these children could be the product or any three men? Do you call that love?
I do feel sorry for any child that has been abandoned by either parent. But is that any excuse to not show your offspring a better way of life? | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:00:43 AM |
why are you so ignorant?
looking at some of the posts left by you I can see the ignorance....
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...he actually didn't want anything to do with his child and he thought government was responsible.
Perhaps I am ignorant to reply to a person with your bitter and bizarre mentality.
there are 4 types of parents
1. good mum
2. good dad
3.coward dad
4.B1tch mum
Unfortunately number 3 and 4 are making life very hard for the good mum and dads to provide a better life for children. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:12:58 AM |
why are you so ignorant?
looking at some of the posts left by you I can see the ignorance....
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ...he actually didn't want anything to do with his child and he thought government was responsible.
Perhaps I am ignorant to reply to a person with your bitter and bizarre mentality.
there are 4 types of parents
1. good mum
2. good dad
3.coward dad
4.B1tch mum
Unfortunately number 3 and 4 are making life very hard for the good mum and dads to provide a better life for children.
if he didnt want to have anything to do with the children,
and you and the authorities didnt discourage him,
- then perhaps i would agree with you, in your situation.
the situations are not all the same and i had indicated it was a general comment - not specific to anyone - but it is how the system is generally operated.
the fact remains, the system is administered only to encourage division - hence
it is for the benefit of lawyers not for the interests of the children.
the courts also favor the resident parent - they are not balanced in their decision making.
the system is usually administered to shut out the non-resident parent to have having very little significance in the childs life and usually to put them through continuous hell if they do.
or if not, it is administered to create maximum conflict between the parents, anyhow.
so it is quite understandable that such a parent (particularly the non-resident parent)would not want to go through the experience.
i could understand why someone would run away from all that.
sometimes it is best to avoid conflict - the courts are not interested in resolving this conflict - they keep it going - they look after their fellow law society friends and all of them prosper from it - money is transfered around the table in many different ways.... | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:35:07 AM | Sometimes the very best thing that can happen to a child is for a parent to leave and have no contact with that child again. And by no contact I mean physically, emotionally and materially, for these are the foundations of all child abuse.
No single mother has an identical circumstance to that of another. Some are underpaid, some are overpaid and some are not paid at all. Some are ungrateful and want more, some are grateful and content, some just go and do it by themselves. Sounds a bit like real life for big people and forum users doesn't it? Some understate, some overstate and some, shouldn't state at all. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:28:52 PM | ok there is already a govt dept that has been set up and it has been for a number of years to help the long term unemployed/ single parents and mature aged people to return to the workforce... one site is called jobwise.... i know QLD has their own for state govt dept set up.... there is also another dept set up to help young single mothers gain an education with free to a min cost of day care to help them out.... this of course for those who have small children that are not of school age more so then of the parents that have kids of school age....
as i have said a few pages back.... i have been working part time for the family business for the last 3 years.... this is my sons 2nd year in school.. prep last year year 1 this year....before he went to school i would take him with me.. added bonus... granddad/grandson time.... but now im looking at getting back into mainstream workforce (and keeping my parttime job with the family business) i can use before and after school care.... i have even asked the school care manager what the availability is so i know if i have to rely on family and friends or not... and she told me... mornings are not really a problem as most of the kids dont turn up.... its the afternoons they have the short fall.... and from talking to other parents at the school who are married... its them that are taking up the vacancies of these care positions which is making it harder for me to put my child into some sort of care when i do go back to mainstream... even when my son was younger... i had him on 5 waiting lists which were 3-5 years long... i might.. and i will say might be able to get him in for one day if another child didnt turn up... but then he would go right down to the bottom of the list again..... i even put him on a list of a centre that hadnt even opened yet...and he still didnt get in ..heck there is one centre up the road and your child can only get in if they have a sibling in there already.
there is also a huge difference when it comes to the age of the children or child of the parents that are getting payment be it full or part payments.. as centres dont take kids once they hit highschool... 12 years old is their cut off age ( some kids just dont have the maturity to look after themselves at 12 years and over).... and this is also what alot of people are missing the point on.... single parents with younger kids can find it harder to place their child/ren in a childcare centre as they are already fiilled by kids of a 2 income family... my sister who is married got her son in with no problems.... i rung up to get mine in... didnt have a position.
tax payers can rant and rave about single parents... more so about the younger then the ones that started off later in life (i worked for 11 years before having my son).... all they want.... it doesnt make the system any better.... coz as i said in my post a few pages back.... its not always the single parents that are doing the wrong thing.... there is always a small handful that does and i know of some of them.... but the govt help out more with 2 income families then anything else.. my sister gets part A and part B plus rent assistance plus 70% of her child care fees paid for each fortnight and they are on 60K+... or one of their friends... she had a child before her now defacto which they have a toddler togeher.... she gets about $400 a fortnight she doesnt work never has her defacto brings home 70K + 1% of company profit each year....she gets that much coz her first child isnt his but yet he has been supporting that child since he was a toddler.. hes now 12... and thats a couple of hundred more then i get for family tax benefits.... or ya can just listen to the stink of the 2 income families that earn over $150K who are getting their tax benefits cut and their baby birth bonus cut... they think they are getting hard done by. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:52:47 AM | JESUS!,
I like some of the idea's here quoted here on this topic...
I am a single man never really had a relationship of any length of time... Come from a very stable old fashioned 2 head family. Father worked his bum off from age 17 after starting in sec, having lost his father at age 18, worked all his life to support a wife and 4 kids and initially his mum and sister. So yeah i come from the Super Dad role model family. I got educated as far as i wanted too, now i work full-time yay!
For those ****ing about the size of payments they recieve bear this in mind...
Back in those days Centrelink never existed, There were roughly around 3 choices for men A). Preemptively kill your self or get a mate to do it. B). go on a long vacation and probably have a foreigner kill you in a trench before you make it back. c). Or be lucky enough to be able to to stay home and work your ass off in the same job for 50 years to support your mates and hope they return safely so you can play two up for that bob he gave you.
Phew! - They seem to have relaxed the options a bit lately. Xbox, Centrelink...
We are seeing the negative results of the governments generousity...
The Traditional Family is constantly under threat. As a few people have mentioned there are probably a few contributing reasons to it. One major one would have to be the relative ease of getting money. improvments in infrastructure and transportation.
The number of people working in full time compared with the number working full time some time ago... the number of people then working part time and still recieving a form of benefit. (especially cash in hand)
Benefits into need areas however those needs being not met enough or not scaled properly.
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Kevin 07 not so great yet in 08 have a think about this one
if you want to get australia rolling... remove excise, remove gst, stamp duty, the ato and probably a few other needless entities like etags, and train tickets with one card and make australia a totally cashless society drawing wealth from the rest of the world instantly fixing the trade defiecit and maintaining your surplus and inflationary figures all in one with a then added 1% debit tax on every single transaction... bingo you instantly have the latest and greatest taxation, banking, and currency system in the world. a cashless society and a taxed society imediately kills the dodgers.
Thats a good start then you could try...
And revise the social security benefit system... who likes the idea of a card that tracks your spending and purchases, i personally don't like cigarettes or alcohol but thats not to say that you would have to wipe em out you could just ration them same with your pension to a needs basis...
Long Live the two parent married family | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:06:34 AM |
Long Live the two parent married family
and so say all of me and so say all of me.
Yes. Government is a bonus. a bonus not many other countries have. but it's a blessing and thank god for it.
But some men have lost their manhood thinking oh well ...government will support them WHY should I?.
I hope you follow you good old dad’s foot steps he is a man I would bow at, a True man. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:14:01 AM |
Sometimes the very best thing that can happen to a child is for a parent to leave and have no contact with that child again. And by no contact I mean physically, emotionally and materially, for these are the foundations of all child abuse.
why dont you get a job in the child support agency or as a family court magistrate?
you know all about abusing children and have the right attitude to work in those area's !
afterall the idea is to divide families - thats the professional approach to support single parenting!
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:47:47 AM |
why dont you get a job in the child support agency or as a family court magistrate?
you know all about abusing children and have the right attitude to work in those area's !
afterall the idea is to divide families - thats the professional approach to support single parenting!
I agree with the point you are making but don't forget each mother cat protects her kittens to the best of her ability and how she knows.
It's the most hurtful and painful feeling to see your child/ren hurt. I don't think anyone ever could have hurt me as much as when I see my child hurt.
I am sure if you go and live with them you may agree with her views....
but one recommendation to all mothers or fathers with the children just try your best and find a way to keep some type of contact with the other parent...just a little bonding MAY one day help in some way...hopefully. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:47:24 AM | Ho hum 172.
Sometimes
Means ~ intermittently, occasionally, periodically, sporadically, at times, now and then ~
Ask a simple question to any child about the parent who beat them, burnt them, raped them, sodomized them, screamed at them, belittled them, killed them etc. etc. The question is: Am I glad that parent stayed?
The fundamentals of child abuse are always physical, emotional or material, often in combination. They can even occasionally manifest themselves in strange and unlikely places, like dating forums.
you know all about abusing children and have the right attitude to work in those area's
Thank you for your enlightened, though misinformed observations. Only a moron could have seen that. | |
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| single mothers: underpaid by social security or...?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:59:34 AM |
It's the most hurtful and painful feeling to see your child/ren hurt. I don't think anyone ever could have hurt me as much as when I see my child hurt.
i am sorry that you were hurt so much.
you seem reasonable enough, so i am sure you didnt deserve any of it.
but for others, the system is administered to discourage being anything other than a provider for the child.
regrads | |
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