RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:12:32 PM | Alot of mixed opinions.
I don't see any problems with this at all. That is alot of stress, need to deal with it the best way you can. If that doesn't work then maybe therapy would help.
I personally don't see ANY reason why a man or women shouldn't take time for themselves.
I have gone away with the girls a few times, and my then bf had his weekends with the guys. I feel it is healthy, as long as there is quailty time spent with your S/O more than with your friends. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:26:54 PM | Sure. I have extended family in Wales and he and she are very different when it comes to what they enjoy in a vacation. They have both visited together and were satisfied in the end but he has also travelled here with a male friend who had more in common.
It would have been equally okay if he had chosen to come alone. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:23:23 PM | | Vacation....hmmmmm....not sure about that...but taking a couple of days by yourself...that's OK....I know when I want to get away by myself to re-evaluate my personal goals.....I head to Banff for a weekend retreat.......I guess it depends on what his intentions are...... | |
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Gaby48
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 33 | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:32:10 PM | I have a funny feeling that he is not really going to be alone,is he??? be honest. If any thing he and his wife probably need some time alone together with out the kids. and why on earth would anyone want to be alone at a time like this..... | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:35:56 PM | Before answering, I'd need to know how this man's wife views his need to "get away". Does she feel he is shutting her out emotionally? If so, his emotional withdrawal can create a real rift in their marriage.
Grief can create a chasm within a relationship when the two parties respond to grief differently. The man's wife has lost a mother-in-law and sister-in-law. She is also grieving. This is a time for the man and woman to draw together, not pull apart.
The man and woman should have a very open discussion about what they both need right now. If he takes a few days to himself, perhaps he can reciprocate and allow his wife a few days to herself when he returns. Or, conversely, after a few days to himself, he ensures that he spend time and energy in connecting with his wife, and processing their mutual grief together.
The man's "vacation" is wrong if it damages his relationship with his wife and family. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:30:11 PM | It would all depend.
If you're going away and using up the only vacation time at work you may have left for the year, and you'd rather do it alone, I'd have a problem with it. Couples need some fun time together too.
If we're fighting, and you just want to get away from me, I'd have a problem with it. You can't run away from your problems. They're only going to be there when you get back.
If you think you're going to Mardi Gras, or Club Med...I aint havin' it. "Nough said.
Otherwise, go to it! | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:23:30 PM | For this situation the question can only ever be truly answered by the married couple themselves.
Me personally? if it is a generica question for all, then yes of course its ok. As long as its ok for me to get away as well. How else would you ever miss each other?
But, cant help myself - I am curious as to why you're asking though OP ?? | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:18:26 AM | I think the fact that a married man wants to take a trip away from his wife indicates there is a problem. If a man truly loves his wife, he will want to take a trip away from her as much as he would want to take a trip away from his right arm.
If I were married and my husband felt the need to go away without me, I would be deeply hurt.
It has nothing to do with trust, I just don't understand how anyone could want to be away from the person they love that long. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:51:40 AM | Everyone needs "me" time. If this man needs some solitude to heal himself, or perhaps figure what he needs to do to heal himself, then he should have the time.
I don't think enough people today take "me" time. When we take care of ourselves, that allows us to take better care of those we love. He should take all the time he needs. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:33:12 AM | All of you seem to be missing the point here. you may have forgotten why this guy needs to get away. Losing two members of his immediate family in that short a span of time, would make anyone want to be alone. But yet everyone is trumpeting doom! "Oh! he's going to get his leg over!" Cut the guy some effing slack.
People... ALL people occasionally need solitude, and it sounds like this guy needs a few days to himself. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:37:33 AM | | justforumsplease: You would think losing two close relatives would make him want to be with his family(wife) even more. That having lost his mother and sister would make him appreciate every second of time with his wife. That he would realize that he could also lose her as well, and would not want to give up any time with her. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:41:14 AM | | It is ok for anyone to take a few days on their own..in theory. You asking is suspicious. Life gives the good with the bad, when the bad comes wanting to leave the wife and children to be on your own is not necessarily a good habit to get into. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:01:53 AM | Justme,
I understand what you're saying... but when my father died, I was not interested in hearing any platitudes from people who barely knew him. I was not wanting to hear how sorry people were over his loss. All I knew was that my father was gone. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and memories. Granted, I did not take a vacation or a weekend, but I told my wife at the time, that I needed a few hours to myself. She said ok with no hesitation. I drove down to the dock and took my dad's boat out on the bay for the rest of the day. Yes, I cried my effing eyes out. Yes, I made myself sick over it, but I recovered and came home. I was ok, my wife and kids were ok, and we went on with out lives.
I'm not sure if you've lost a parent, and if you haven't, then I cannot prepare you for the overwhelming pain you will feel. All I am saying is that he might need to be alone. Granted, a few days might be a bit much, but even if it's only for an afternoon, then let him have it. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:16:56 AM | Nothing wrong with taking a break.. I'm not married right now.. but I am heavely involved with someone I deeply love we both take the time to live our own lives and there are things and places I love to go that he doesn't and vice versa.. so I have been on vacation alone without him...
this summer i'm heading the CA.. he's not coming with me.. not a big deal its all about trust.. you have to have trust.. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:17:51 AM | Sorry.....I would be a bit concerned. He could be depressed and being alone when depressed is not such a good idea.
I can understand the wanting to go away to clear his head, but he does need to stay in regular contact with his family.
This is a man who has hit rock bottom, and being alone could very well be the worst thing for him. Think about it.
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:26:45 AM | Msg #14
I don't see any problem with it whatsoever. Of course, that's as long as it's not to spend the weekend with you. :)
He loves his wife and kids dearly but just needs to get away alone for a couple of days just to try and clear his head and relax a little.
My gut reaction is similar, why would this man be discussing this personal issue with you ? He should be discussing this with his wife, and you would find out after he returns !
Me smells something Fishy !
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