| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:35:03 AM | | Wow, I personally think this is more than ok...and I don't think it matters what he is doing, if he wants to away and be alone or go away for a little vacation with a guy friend, I just don't see the big deal here. My guy and I take seperate trips here and there, he goes on boys camping trips and things of that sort, and I like to go to go on girls trips to go shopping and otu dancing and things, and it's not a big deal. I trust him, he trust me. To be a couple you don't need to spend all your time together. As long as you are still going and doing things as a couple, I don't see anything wrong with this. I see alot of people mentioning it wouldn't be ok if he wanted to go to vegas or something like that, but I have been to Vegas with my girlfriends, and my husband has been with his guy friends, and it's not big deal. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:55:39 AM | For those of you who are suspicious, there is no need to be. I've known this guy since grade school. We've never had anything sexual. He hasn't actually said he needs to get away. But in my opinion just watching him go through the past couple of months I think he needs a break. He's never really had a chance to mourn, his wife is acting like she could care less. A week after his mother passed away, she went to the casino for the weekend!!! Had no thought of being there for him.
I guess you'd have to know all the different instances I've witnessed over the years. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:10:12 PM | Hi Juice okay I know you probably mean well.. but my suggestion is to stay out of the business of this man's marriage trust me on this.. doesn't matter how long you've known him or not.. unless your his sister/cousin/aunt it's best to just let him figure things out himself least you be caught up in some drama.
take care. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:37:23 PM | | Yes juice shes probably just as sick of it all as he is, i dont understand why you are so interested in this mans life..i know you say you went to school with him and you seem very caring.. but hes married, he should be left to sort this out with his wife... and her going to the casino is probably a way of getting away from the strain he is putting her under... its natural for your mother to die before you.... and they should left alone to grieve together and make their own decisions.. he cannot get the attention off his wife so of course he is going to burden you... and his wife probably has her reasons for the way she deals with her husband. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:30:17 PM | | Again...I posted this as my own thoughts. I've never meddled in his marriage business. I haven't made any of my thoughts out loud to him, and I never would. Just wanted some other opinions. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:36:36 PM | For those of you who are suspicious, there is no need to be. I've known this guy since grade school. We've never had anything sexual. He hasn't actually said he needs to get away. But in my opinion just watching him go through the past couple of months I think he needs a break. He's never really had a chance to mourn, his wife is acting like she could care less. A week after his mother passed away, she went to the casino for the weekend!!! Had no thought of being there for him.
I guess you'd have to know all the different instances I've witnessed over the years.
Ok I dont mean to be harsh but if he hasnt even discussed a break with you its probably something you should stay out of. There seems to be some hostility towards his wife here and thats probably not appropriate either. There is always 2 sides to any story. You mean well, you care, but sometimes there are some things you just have to step back from. Of course you can be there if he comes to you for advice or support during his grieving process, but otherwise leave them alone to work the "space" issue out
My answer still remains the same though to the overall question
I think its always good to have some time apart. How much or often that space is has to be decided between the couple themselves whats appropriate
I wouldnt mind my husband going away for a weekend or a day here and there. Yet if it was every weekend of course thats a problem. But thats an extreme example and we are not talking about obvious indicators like that. Im not really big on this co-dependency 24 hour thing. But thats me because I know I need some alone time to do things I enjoy, like read a book, something that may be boring to my significiant other. Then there are my parents who have never been a day apart in 57 years of marriage.
So It really comes down to what the married couple work out between them. Everyone is different ! | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:37:05 PM | | I don't believe there is anything wrong with a married person (male or female, for that matter) to get away for a few days for mini-vacations. My ex and I did it sometimes, a weekend he would go away and sometimes I would do the same. Just bc a person is married, it certainly doesn't mean they don't indeed need time to themself from time to time. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:38:30 PM |
I'm not sure if you've lost a parent, and if you haven't, then I cannot prepare you for the overwhelming pain you will feel. All I am saying is that he might need to be alone. Granted, a few days might be a bit much, but even if it's only for an afternoon, then let him have it.
Yes, my father 8 years ago. What hurt me the most was the fact that he was no longer with my mother. He was the only man that had ever been in her life, and she has never been the same. When she lost him, it was like she lost the will to live.
I can understand a few hours, but days away is a lot different. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:40:46 PM | Maybe the guy just needs a couple days of peace and quiet. A bit of a break. Some people want their loved ones around them when they're hurting, some people would rather just be left alone, and this is hard to accomplish in a busy household.
Additionally, just because two people marry, that doesn't guarantee they have all the same interests. Before my dad died, we used to go moose hunting every fall. My dad, my uncle, two cousins, my brother in law and myself. All married. All our wives thought we were insane to spend two weeks living in a mobile home in the bush, with no electricity and no indoor plumbing. The men went, the wives didn't. That was fine.
None of the men went when all our wives met up in Toronto for a "girls weekend" a couple of times a year either, and I don't remember anyone having a problem with that either.
Two weeks in Vegas might be a little different, though. | |
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Kame
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Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 60 | |
| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:48:32 PM | | No ,I see nothing wrong with it everyone needs some time to themselves ,especially when you go threw what he has ,sometimes we just need time alone to grieve or get our thoughts together or just to simply be alone. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/17/2007 6:41:09 PM | I think that it can be healthy for couples to take time apart. Call it anything that you want-- vacation, down time, time out, R&R, whatever floats your boat, And it doesn't much matter if it's in Vegas or camping in the backwoods, as long as you don't dishonor your committment to your partner.
Just my two cents worth, after taxes...
Rae | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 62 | |
| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/17/2007 10:00:52 PM | | Nothing wrong with that, it's no different than a married woman who wants to take a vacation by herself to clear her head. Just because people are married does not mean they are joined at the hip. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:54:22 PM | | Just MY two cents....why should it even matter what anyone thinks? It is his own affair...if he wants input..he should ask. I say...let him be. If you are a friend...don't worry unless he asks. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/24/2007 7:21:13 PM | For sure...........I read on one woman's profile that a man needs a woman to be like his underwear......to provide a little support and a little freedom. LOL I thought it was pretty good. LOL
Anyway.......a guy or a gal should get out once in a while on their own. I think it is not only a healthy want but a need!! Everyone should get out at least once per year on their own to reflect on themselves and at least once a year with their best friends for some time away and have some fun with.
Just my two cents.
KP | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/24/2007 8:24:13 PM | | If the couple has a good support system, why not get a sitter/family member for the kids for a weekend, I think the time would be best together--she has dealt with the same stress he is going through. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:41:54 PM | every one deals with stress their own ways.
when my bf is on his exam wk, ya, i'm practically single for that wk. i won't hear from him (even after i try calling him, leave messages, texts, or what nots). but after that wk is done, then we're back to dates n "regular stuff". | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:24:13 PM | *snickering @ Bangkok sex clubs.....
Of course he should be able to take time to get his head and his heart together. Unless marriage really is a ball and chain situation..... | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/26/2007 4:43:25 PM | Yeah. Guys go fishing and hunting for that very reason all the time and nobody thinks it's weird. It gives his wife a chance to have some time too.
My best friend's mom is the type who always has her husband's dinner ready when he gets home from work, weekends, whatever. There's a joke between them that early in their marriage she allegedly asked him to take her somewhere she'd never been before.
So he says he took her in the kitchen and she's been there ever since.
Anyway, when he goes on her annual fishing trip my friend 'kidnaps' her for a week and brings her home to her place for a break. | |
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| Is it ok for a married man to go on vacation alone?
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:48:23 PM | No..maybe he needs to get away a little bit..there's nothing wrong w/ that.
If it was my husband..I would offer to go with him. Maybe, we could have the kids go to their grandma's house or someone in the family. He needs to be comforted, just someone to hold or to listen to him. I think being alone would be worse, but that's just how I feel.
I don't think there's anything "wrong" w/ going by himself but his wife just feels bad for him, when you love someone and they have lost someone close to them, you feel the pain w/ them. I imagine that's what she is feeling for her husband. | |
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