| jesus jokes
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:15:04 PM | And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"
And his disciples pondered among themselves. Then one of the disciples turned and answered unto him, "Master, they say that thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of eternal omnificence."
And Jesus replied: "WHAT???" | |
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| jesus jokes
Posted: 6/23/2007 1:25:56 PM | Jesus walks into the a sex shop with a deflated sex doll under his arm, he walks up to the counter and slams the doll down on the counter.
Jesus: I've got a very serious complaint and I want to see the manager of this establishment!
The store assistant turns and walks to the managers office, the manager comes walking out and sees the doll and then sees Jesus.
The Manager: Yes sir how may I help you?
Jesus: How can you help me...you can start by telling me why your sex dolls are faulty.
The Manager: How do you mean faulty?
Jesus: Well this is the six doll I've bought from you this week and half way through sex it just deflates.
The Manager: Okay...ehm let me ask you, when your having sex with it do you start asking your father to bless that you are having sex with a blow up doll?
Jesus: Yeah, but what's that go to do with it?
The Manager: Well don't you see, your father has made it religious turning it into Holy Sex Doll. | |
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| jesus jokes
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:53:08 AM | My mother was preparing pancakes for my brother George and me. At the time we were 9 and 10 with George being the elder.
We began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Mom saw the opportunity to teach us a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
I turned to my elder brother George and said, "You can have the first chance of being Jesus!" | |
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| jesus jokes
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:34:08 PM | Why won't they let Jesus play hockey?
Because he's always getting nailed to the boards lol | |
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| jesus jokes
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:14:37 PM | Jesus, Tiger Woods and David Beckham are standing by the side of a pond.
Jesus: You know years ago people really used to love me and respect me, they never questionned my existance or my dieing on the cross...I just don't know what I can do to get that back.
Tiger Woods: Why not try one of your old tricks...show people that you are what you say you are.
Jesus: Yes you may be right Tiger...you know what, I'm going to walk on water.
So Jesus turns and walks across the pond, people notice this and turn in amazement to watch.
David Beckham: That's easy I can do that.
So much to Tiger's shock Beckham does indeed start walking across the water and gets to the otherside.
Tiger Woods: Okay if that hippy and that English idiot can do it so can I...I mean I'm American.
But when Woods tries it he slips under the water and drowns, a shocked Jesus turns to David Beckham.
Jesus: David you really should've told him about the stepping stones.
David Beckham: What stepping stones? | |
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