| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:40:47 PM | I was in the same situation as you for 7 yrs. My boyfriend @ the time was manipulative & would break up w/me when he got the notion that things were getting too serious. After a break-up in 2003, I got into a serious relationship w/someone else who was a wonderful man. My ex called me begging me to take him back & sent roses, expensive champagne & even the key to his home to win me back.
I admit I still loved my ex but I knew he was unstable & untrustworthy. I'm sure he found the grass in the dating pasture wasn't as green as he anticipated. Admittedly it was great for my ego to know two men wanted to be with me. Reluctantly I went back to my ex & realized after just a few weeks that he hadn't changed a bit. He was still a manipulative, narcissistic & emotionally unstable person. We broke up for good in 2005 & found new mates. I have to say I think of him often but know he wouldn't make a good partner. Last Dec. I met a man that I fell in love with. He is everything a woman should hope for: kind, down to earth, friendly, & loving. He doesn't play games & is there when I need him.
If you are lucky to find love so soon after your dysfunctional relationship ended, don't sabotage it for your ex-boyfriend. I think there's a reason why after 4 yrs. the relationship ended. Remember you can't change the spots on a leopard. | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 7/14/2007 9:03:57 AM | RUN HONEY RUN! I just got out of a similar relationship......I did the same....I waited for over 2 years.....got back with the man....only to have him tell me that he wanted to get back with his old gf , "TO see if it would work", He's putting you on the back burner! And no woman deserves that. You can't make someone love you if they don't! And old habits are hard to break. If he's an internet guru I'm sure that you will find him on numerous dating sites under different names and still playing the game.
MOVE ON HONEY! | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 7/19/2007 3:14:58 PM | | I had a kind of similar situation. I was married in love with the women of my dreams everything was perfect . My ex-girlfriend which was out of my life for years found out I married, she made a few visits to my office and called several times to the office. Well one day I decided to talk to her and told her about my life. One day the ex-girlfriend calls my wife and tells her what I said about our lives , this created a big mess that lead to divorce. I lost the women I loved, I did not have any relationship with my ex-girlfriend but yet my wife was hurt bad I know. There was nothing that would heal this wound, no matter what I did. My wife took me for the ride of my life for about ten months then dumped me like a dirty pale of water. It was terrible, I was hurt, I was depressed, I was bad off. So you need to ask yourself the questions. Can you forgive your ex, honestly.?Do you have any doubts about your ex, can you trust him to be dedicated to you only? Also this new man may hurt you next month or next year or never! So what do you feel? Do you want a new life or the comfortable life you had before with the scar in it? Why is the new guy single, did he cheat? Life is to short, you seem to be a pretty and smart, so use the realistic aspects of this situation? So you chose the new man, and you break the man of four years heart just as he did to you. Dont feel sorry for no one, love yourself and live your life. No matter what a man heart will be broken in this situation. My ex-wife stayed strong and never looked back, that was her though. Try to vision your life 2 years from now, 4 years, what do you see or what do you want to see? God Bless You!!!!!! like I said dont worry about breaking a heart, we all heal just do what is best for you. Look at the big picture! Father-figure, finances, compatibilty, etc all the important things in life, which man has the best for you. Apparently you are in love with two men. Be cool!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
shoree
|
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 54 | |
| |
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 7/19/2007 4:19:39 PM | summerlove65....
After reading all you have said regarding this guy... I agree with piano4te and think you will end up with a broken heart all over again.....
Why oh why would you leave what you have now to go go backwards and back to a man like that..... I say like that... meaning he is not true to you...
Going back for the sake of your daughter will be a huge mistake... huni, stay with the great guy you have met.... | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 7/19/2007 4:34:22 PM | This is totally a no brainer. The old beaux wants you because you have actually met someone with whom you can be happy. Keep your mouth shut and allow the relationship with the new guy to grow. He needs no pressure about an X in the picture and you know deep down that old guy is not right for you or you would have easily made a decision without asking anyone's advice.
Getting involved with the new guy does not cut the old guy out of your life, he will still have a relationship with your daughter. What you have the opportunity to show your daughter, however, is that there is a man that is willing to give you more than scraps of his time and who will likely be a father figure to her, or at least another good adult male role model. Don't allow yourself to use the relationship between your daughter and old guy to make what you already know is a mistake. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:05:31 PM | I know I'm late with the advice, but followed the link from your profile.
Not trying to bust your bubble or anything, but if I man walks away from a woman, not if he's made to leave, but if he leaves willingly, and comes back, it means that the grass wasn't as green on the other side as he thought it was when he left.
He tried to sow his oats somewhere else but the soil wouldn't accept his offering. If he cared enough for you to make it permanent, he would not have left in the first place. It doesn't mean that you have done anything wrong. People do, and think, weird things, that to some others, don't make any sense at all.
If you let this guy back in, don't expect anything more than to get your heart caught up again in him, and then he runs off to check out that tall, green grass on the other side of the fence, again, and again.
People who say "if you love em' let them go, and if they come back to you, they are yours forever" are perennial optimists who don't like to face reality. Sure there are wonderful stories of that type, but you can bet your gorgeous ass that you aren't hearing from the ones who screwwed up TWICE and are to darned ashamed to tell anyone about it. I guarantee you the success stories are outnumbered by the heartbreak stories by about 7 to 1. You cannot change a persons nature. Cheaters cheat. Thieves steal. Beaters hit. Name callers insult. Molesters molest. Mistakes are what happens when someone didn't mean for something to happen, and no intelligent thought went into the process before it happened. When thought happens first, and shit happens, its the nature of the person that allows it to come to the forefront.
Short story: stay friends and save your heart the heartbreak, again.
P.s. You're still on here, so either you got your head on straight without my help, or you messed up again, and are back to wow us with your presence.
Randy | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:18:49 AM | I'm going to assume that your old boyfriend left you for another woman. If I am wrong, please don't take offence. Based on that premise, my advise to you is:
Don't look back to yesterday and what was. Someone who tries to re-enter your life after years gone probably only does so because his relationship fell apart and he has nowhere to go but back to where he once was. You keep moving forward with your new man - the one who's still at your side and lies next to you in bed. You know the old saying, a bird in the hand is worth more than one who's flown the coop and been in someone else's bush. | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:20:42 AM | I'm going to assume that your old boyfriend left you for another woman. If I am wrong, please don't take offence. Based on that premise. my advise to you is:
Don't look back to yesterday and what was. Someone who tries to re-enter your life after years gone, probably only does so because his relationship fell apart and he has nowhere to go but back to where he once was. You keep moving forward with your new man - the one who's still at your side and lies next to you in bed. You know the old saying, a bird in the hand is worth more than one who's flown the coop and been in someone else's bush. | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:24:35 PM | I am curious... You have all this drama going on with these two guys in your head but you're still advertising for a new date. WHY??? Is this because you're in that much need of attention or that you cannot live without more confusion in your life. What does your daughter think? She may have better advise than a bunch of strangers if she's not afraid to be honest with you.
GOOD LUCK! | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:39:09 PM | | Cheating is easily defined as somone that purposly involves their themselves with someone else with the intent to have a relationship with them...Even if its only for a moment..be it 1 minute or forever...You cant go your life believeing that you will have the same thing happen to you as before...you make your own destiny and you must chose it wisely.. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:08:35 AM |
I received a phone call from the man I have know for 4 years ........and he told me he loves me and wants me and my daughter to move in with him!
If you were together for 4 years, broke up, aren't seeing each other right now, and he called you out of the blue to ask you to move in with him, SOMETHING'S not right! I don't know what his motive could be - maybe he heard about you and the other guy and panicked, or something else. Maybe he's been with someone else, it didn't work out, so instead of trying again he decided to go back to something familiar (I'd guess that's what happened). But I don't think you want this.
You said you were waiting for him to realize you were meant to be together - I guess that means he left you. If you broke up once, you will break up again.
My advice is to tell him to get lost, and you should go out with the new guy. | |
|
| What do you do....when you loved a man......met someone new and now he wants you back???
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:37:31 AM | Hello, this is the mans side, I just had similar experience with a lady. 9 months of wonderful companionship among other things. She agreed we were a couple and in a committed relationship, until about 6 weeks ago. In the interem starting July 5th between then and August 17th, I caught her in 3 lies which involed 2 guys, one of which was a former boyfriend. I loved her so much that I did not confront her with it and held it inside. Afterall, none of them indicated any intimacy, and I knew she was still friends with the old beau. ....6 weeks ago I began getting the feeling that she was pulling away and altho I would ask her she said no she was not. The intimacy came to a halt 3 weeks ago, and this last week she dropped the bomb on me that she was seeing someone else, had 3 dates and wanted to give it a try. Broke my heart.
My best friend, tells me get over it and move on. That's hard and your was 4 years.
But we must......so I guess my thoughts to you are that if you have already found that guy that you could fall for......go for it and I wish you the best. .....I should be so lucky. | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
