| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 12:08:02 PM | Whoaaaaaaaaaa...stop right there...no one is ever stuck being single...some people choose to be single and are quite happy and content...it beats the hell outta being stuck married to some one who makes you totally miserable... ... with that...I guess no one is really stuck being married either...you are only stuck in a rut if you choose to be...make like a hockey stick and get the puck outta there... ...I can handle being single...it's being lonely that's tough...there is a difference... | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:15:58 PM |
I love my single life, and have no interest in changing that right now. There's so much to do out there, and being single allows for freedom to do them. I wish more people could see that there is more to life than being in a relationship. Call me selfish. But there are FAR worse things in life than being alone. I'd say take advantage of being single, go out and explore the world, and discover your soul. If being selfish means living life to the fullest, being happy with who you are and showing that to the world, and spreading that happiness around for the greater good, then I'm all for it! There's nothing worse than some feel-sorry-for-me sourpuss who's stuck in a relationship with the wrong person, one that they're in just because they didn't want to be alone. I'd rather wait for the right one to come along than simply settle. 36 years and counting. LOL
I think being single sucks big time. There may be a lot to do, but if you have to do it alone, what's the point? I have always felt that having someone to do something with was a lot more important than what you are doing. With the right person, I would have a lot more fun just looking around at a mall(b.t.w. I hate to shop) than going around the world alone.
I am happy with who I am, but want someone's company other than my own.
The last thing I want is another relationship. I want to met someone that feels the same way I do about family and love, get married and become a family(Good grief at my age, I sure don't mean more children!!!) There may be more to live, but to me this is the main point of even being here.
I see single as the opposite of free. Marriage is freedom, or at least a good marriage is. Your really are free to just be yourself , and to go out together and see what the world has to offer.
Not to mention the question is what if you are single and it is beyond your control. Really doesn't have anything to do with liking or not liking yourself.
How would you feel about anything that was happening to you and it was beyond your control? | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:32:05 PM | | Yes I could be happy because happy is a choice. I have been single for sometime and I can be content being single or in a relationship. In fact man of the guys at the place I work are less happy then I and there married. Would I want to be single all my life? No because I believe we are created for relationships and it is much better to go through life with others by your side then to face it all alone. I think both sides have there pro’s and con’s I would say be content and enjoy where you are now. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:50:39 PM | Well,
That sure is a possibility for everyone that’s human anyway....LOL
There are many angles to this question ,
1. We have to ask ourselves Why we are Single is it because
i. Is it our own subconscious doing it because of our own lack of self esteem, self-confidence and self worth?
ii. Is it that we make ourselves somewhat unattractive or closed off either physically or mentally because of this lack in the self image we have of ourselves.
iii. Do we continue carrying around pain from previous experiences that have not been dealt with , brought to the surface and dissipated in a healthy manner.
iv. Is it that many of the people we meet are very different in that their values are nothing like our own?
v. Is it that many we meet have deep rooted problems and issues and are hurtful people that have no feelings
vi. Is it that people we meet are only using us as a piece of meat or an object
vii. Is it that some treat us as if we have no brain or intelligence or valid opinions
viii. Could it be that there are too many questions to answer a question…LOL Yes
Fear of being hurt is one of the most popular version of why people stay single but the truth is as human beings we all have feelings and emotions. To be human is to feel vulnerable, to laugh, have joy, pain, grieve, anguish, sadness, happiness……As long as you feel and have emotion whatever they are like the good ones or the bad ones, any of these in essence means that you are living life for what it is which is to experience and take risks…. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:44:26 PM | Gold has some good points there. And extra points for his roman numeral summarizing.
I'm 33, previously-and-currently single and non-physically experienced. If this isn't "forever", its the closest thing. I used to think I couldn't make it, it wasn't worth it, might as well die, if I didn't find that special someone by a certain time, but as the years continued on and that special someone continued her stint in the Witness Relocation Program or wherever she's hiding, I down-Ubu'd on the melodramatics and while I'm not what I could call "normal" or "happy", I'm not morose or suicidal so a lot of it is just perception, apparently. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 4:41:05 PM | I've already been stuck in this situation forever. Except technically married, so felt the need to be faithful. Fixing this tomorrow when I file LOL. And then, I think I'll just be single for a while...by choice this time.
Kev | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 4:52:50 PM |
its really not that bad ......whenever, I start feeling really loney at night...i just don't shave one leg for a week
OMG....I LOVE IT!!!.......just too funny...may have to give that one a try
Being alone does not have to mean being lonely. I'm very active with work, blessed with great family and friends. I enjoy my own company. B.O.B. is good too. And....I have the POF forums....what more could a girl ask for???? | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:03:51 PM | So far, I think I am going to be stuck single. 
Honestly, I will be ok with it...if that is what happens. I don't feel that I HAVE to have someone, there are many things in life I want to experience.....and I can do so with or without that someone, and still be just as happy. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:41:08 PM | Being single and being alone are two different things.
Being alone... without friends/family etc. ..that would be hard to cope with.
Being single.. without a relationship or sex... I live that now and do just fine. Do I wish it.. NO. Will I settle for less than what I want, just for the sake of having someone or a relationship... NO, or I would of stayed in my last relationship. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:09:32 PM | | Well I don't think it is being stuck, just not finding the right match in the timing you want turn to a place inside and love yourself. You can't really love anyone till you love yourself first. You don't need anyone to make you happy. You must be happy with you. Maybe when you love yourself as much as you desire to love another, then the door will open for someone to present themselves to you...just a thought. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:33:51 PM | Well thankfully it isn't completely isolation like Henry David Thoreau "On Walden Pond", but often it feels like I'm not far from it.
Better that I have a couple friends than none, and better that I have a job where I work with people day in and day out, than none.
Better that I have found some photography and hiking clubs to join than none. What's next? What will be my next foray into public life? But being physical with anyone? Never happened to me. Hugs are the best I manage to get. Better than nothing. I'm happy that I've got some things going in my life most people would love to have. Can I say that I wouldn't be better off if I had someone? Not having really had anyone, no I can't. But it doesn't stop me from wondering what would it be like to really have someone to be with day in and day out other than myself. I enjoy myself enough, that I feel I have plenty to share. But knowing who to share it with, and how to learn to enjoy all they share, that's tricky. It is like I'm stuck in a dream forever. Someone pinch me! | |
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lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 88 | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:47:12 PM | yeah, i'd be able to cope with being single for the rest of my life. i don't "need" someone, my life is pretty "complete" already. if ever i have emotional needs that need to be taken care of, i have many wonderful friends i can talk to. if i have physical needs that need to be taken care of.. when it comes to non-sexual stuff (hugs etc) again, my family and friends are great there. as for sexual needs, well.. most people learn how to take care of themselves at a young age  it's not as fun, of course, but if that's what life deemed necessary, so be it.
not pretending it would be easy. humans are social animals. but it would be doable. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:19:19 PM | | Well as others have said this isn't hypothetical for me it seems to be a reality for me and it sucks. I don't think I will be able to cope with it much longer or be happy for that matter. I know all the stuff there is about be happy with yourself, etc, etc, etc...but there comes a point that you just think to your self....what the ****! is wrong with me and then you start doubting everything about yourself and that is where I am at right now....hitting rock bottom....I hate it...I know I am feeling sorry for myself but I look around everywhere and there are so many happy people and happy couples...people that seem to always have someone...people that have no problem with getting new partners and I can't help but feel very, very sad for myself today. I know this sounds like a self pity thread and it really isn't...I am not looking for sympathy or anything just somewhere to vent my pent up frustration with the dating world and such. Thanks for listening! | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:23:46 PM | Look at it this way, if you ARE completely alone....no friends or family....you can always go to walmart, buy a soccer ball....paint a face on em, hell...even give him some hair and name him Wilson.
Or if you want a female companion, name her Wilma...
Best supporting actor I've seen in a movie yet.
Well as others have said this isn't hypothetical for me it seems to be a reality for me and it sucks. I don't think I will be able to cope with it much longer or be happy for that matter. I know all the stuff there is about be happy with yourself, etc, etc, etc...but there comes a point that you just think to your self....what the ****! is wrong with me and then you start doubting everything about yourself and that is where I am at right now....hitting rock bottom....I hate it...I know I am feeling sorry for myself but I look around everywhere and there are so many happy people and happy couples...people that seem to always have someone...people that have no problem with getting new partners and I can't help but feel very, very sad for myself today. I know this sounds like a self pity thread and it really isn't...I am not looking for sympathy or anything just somewhere to vent my pent up frustration with the dating world and such. Thanks for listening!
Venting is good, and I can't say I haven't felt what you are feeling before(yeah I am young, blah, blah, blah....doesn't mean I can't feel a certain way folks). What's messed up, I can't really offer any advice except don't give up....yeah I know it sounds lame. But its true.
Things may get better, and if they do you can always look back on this as another hardship you had to deal with and made it through. AND if things don't get better...dating isn't everything....you get frustrated with it, nothing wrong with taking a break from it for a while...try focusing on something else in your life that you think needs improvement. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:42:03 PM | Looks like I missed this part first time around.
Would you be able to cope with it and still be happy?
Your use of the word "still" presumes a preexisting state of happiness. So, if there's no change(aside from your newfound knowledge of your future), why would your state of happiness change?
You're single and happy. So if you stay single, you'll probably stay happy, right?
All it takes is a motorcycle.
I was wondering if that was why you chose the name "lane splitter". Didn't think it was legal in many states outside CA. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 7:19:03 AM | Single life would be great. It's the opportunity to sleep with many women as possible without being blamed for an affair. And if they get out of hand, you just kick their butt to the curb without any legalities and only enough cab fare to get home. The opportunity to do what you want, when you want, and how to spend your money without some bi*ching wife whining because you went out drinking and didn't get her share of the paycheck to go shopping for clothes that she doesn't need.
Single life is also described as something else: sweet freedom. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:25:00 AM | | You make me laugh....really funny good for you! But wouldnt rechargeables be better? Like the ones you use for digital cameras...LOL | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:29:47 AM | The reality or a rude awakening....
The battery thing is really funny....\
Anyway the reality of this statement we keep commenting on is actually the truth in that we are always alone no matter who we are with, married to or living with becasue of the fact of our own atonomy...we are all unique and special each and everyone of us...The point is like a few have mentioned is you have to be at peace with yourself, love yourself for who you are with all your gifts, talent, imperfections and idiosynchrasies and the more you understand who you are the better you understand other people.... | |
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M2k7
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Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 97 | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:39:09 AM |
I love my single life, and have no interest in changing that right now. There's so much to do out there, and being single allows for freedom to do them. I wish more people could see that there is more to life than being in a relationship. Call me selfish. But there are FAR worse things in life than being alone. I'd say take advantage of being single, go out and explore the world, and discover your soul. If being selfish means living life to the fullest, being happy with who you are and showing that to the world, and spreading that happiness around for the greater good, then I'm all for it! There's nothing worse than some feel-sorry-for-me sourpuss who's stuck in a relationship with the wrong person, one that they're in just because they didn't want to be alone. I'd rather wait for the right one to come along than simply settle. 36 years and counting.
Exactly. In my 20's everyone got married and felt bad I wasn't. I didn't. In my 30's they all got divorced, and had to lose money, split up families and hire lawyers. I'd rather be single and happy than married/involved and miserable any day. After death, disability and loss from 9/11, Katrina, and the Station Fire (RI-local for me) among other things, I know there's WAY more to life than whether or not we're in a relationship. Being content with oneself is freedom. Being open to sharing with someone who's also happy with themselves is an option, but not a necessity. | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:54:34 AM | | Sure I'd be happy. I'd cope with it by simply living my life and striving for goals and various things I have a passion for. I already do that! | |
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| Suppose you were stuck single forever...
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:01:53 PM | | i could cope with being single for the rest of my life. the big question is do i want to? no no no i don't want to. i am pretty happy with myself. i'm good company i find, i'm with myself a lot....like everyday...lol. i want to share my time with someone and share their time to. but if it came down to it i could cope with being single for the rest of my life. | |
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