| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:49:12 PM | | I am not a guy, not looking for sex, not a sicko. I am defending the guy somewhat because that is his personal business. And because we are all sitting here, helping to hold the rope to hang him with and he hasn't even gotten to say a word about it yet. Doesn't even know what's coming. Just because someone is interested in sex, flings, or looking a adult pictures does not make them pathetic or disgusting. If they went to a bar looking for sex is it different because they are at a bar and not on the internet? Lots of perfectly healthy people enjoy sex and it doesn't mean they have issues. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:06:52 PM | Ask him about it. If you don't clear the air, it will eat you up and really affect your relationship in a negative way.
I look at it this way. I am in a committed relationship and come to POF for the forums...but I was upfront and honest with my bf about it before I recreated my profile. Plus I told him anytime he wants the password to just ask and I will give it to him.
Why wasn't your bf upfront and honest with you about still logging into AFF (if he is still using the account)? Ask him - guessing why will never give you peace of mind. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:17:22 PM | What really gets me is that he was logged into it yesterday. He was only home for like 2 hours MAX before I came over, a visit we had planned a day in advance.
And it is NOT a matter of him being under-sexed......trust me. He's been getting plenty sexed......it really bothers me! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:20:15 PM | Ask him about it.
A site like that isn't frequented only by so called sex fiends or freaks. (Go to alt.com for the freaks. Haha! j/k It's just people with different, perhaps more extreme desires. Oops! But I wouldn't know anything about that.)
Let's be honest. People are curious. Some more than others. Some will even admit to it. There's a lot to learn in this world.
Obviously he felt comfortable enough to leave you alone at his place... on his computer. Perhaps he sees something in you. Perhaps he's hoping. Who knows? You will if you ask.
Most men like sex. Most women like sex. But men and women typically have different criteria as to what "rules" apply. Men have centuries of conditioned conquest. Women have centuries of conditioned and too often forced modesty. Men who chase skirts are often looked up to. Women who chase, whatever the equivalent might be, are quickly labeled with that four letter "s" word. Strange world we live in.
Ask him why he visits that "adult" site. Perhaps he actually likes sex and is not afraid to admit it. Perhaps he is curious about sex. Perhaps he is looking to learn. Maybe he spends most of his time on the blogs. Maybe he's wondering what other people think of the subject. Perhaps he's looking for a place where he can be more honest and not have to hide so much as our culture tries to force on us (speaking of the U.S. here.) Maybe he's looking for a venue where vertually anything can be discussed without the limits placed on other sites.
Ask him. Afterall, you were curious enough to click the "log on" button! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:23:53 PM | any body signing up for THIS site is above 18 ( maybe lol) and NO the AFF site has people who JUST chat.... im one of the perverts who chats AND looks for sex AND a relationship...WHY you might ask.. because im VERY shy about approaching anyone... and once ive chatted with them and KNOW they'd atleast give me the time of day, my nervousnes is gone,and i have no problems.
and also the site is HORRIBLE for looking for free porn, i have yet to find any. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:43:32 PM | | Just so some people know, all sites are hook up sites, had plenty from here, and quite a few from lava too! Don't kid yourselves, any site can be a hook up site. Just need to know where to look. So OP,,should he assume you are looking to hook up because you are here?? Should he be panicked, perhaps he is on there asking the same questions on their forums?? | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:50:17 PM | Why should I reconsider my photos?
He wasn't talking to you, lily - he was referring to the troll that can't let a single thread go by without railing on about "perverts".
If he logged in right before you came over, I retract my opinion vis-a-vis it being a ghost account. Ask him about it. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:06:28 PM | If you want your budding relationship to come to an abrupt halt then yeah, ask him about it. That kind of thing is a deal breaking trust issue for many people.
If you happen to be one of those people who wouldn't want to be involved with anyone who views porn in any form then break it off with him now. You're incompatible.
Sure there's a chance he has a fetish that he doesn't want anyone to know about but statistically it's more likely he just wants some hot talk and someone naked to look at. No biggie. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:41:50 PM |
Here's another thought - maybe he signed up by accident and can't get rid of it.
Hold on, hear me out.
It's also possible that he was an active member, but hasn't logged in since he met you.
Ummm...Wonka...
RE-read the OP.
I know I shouldn't have, but it really got me even more curious so I checked his history. He's been going there a few times the past week.
This is a site geared to hooking up for sex.
He's still logging on.
You really think your 'boyfriend' won't step out on you if he gets the opportunity?
"Chatroom", my ar$e! | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 38 | |
| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:06:02 PM | Call me silly but i think a bigger issue that your boyfriend being on AFF is you going through his computer. Someone leave you in their house and gives you permission to use the computer is not an open invitation to start invading the guys privacy....
How can you possibly bring it up to him without him knowing you were invading his space...Do you really think he is going to buy that line about it happening by accident?.
If you want your relationship to end, then by all means take the advice of the majority and mention it to him. But if he is the kind of guy that puts a premium on trust, and might take you searching his computer as a betrayal of trust, i would keep this to myself.
And i know your curiosity will get the better of you in the future, stay off the guys computer....What's on his computer is none of your business. If you don't trust him them break up with him, but don't go snooping anymore into his computer.
At some point at a later date you might want to have a talk with him about being exclusive. If he is ok with that, then you might ask him about the different online sites he is on. Tell him about the ones you are on. Then tell him you are taking your profile down off these sites, hopefully he will suggest doing the same.
Dating someone for 6 weeks does not make you exclusive. Communicating about becoming exclusive gets you to that point. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:15:25 PM | "If they went to a bar looking for sex is it different because they are at a bar and not on the internet?"
uim no its the same thing, and most people know you cant pick up a quality guy at a bar....
enjoying sex with your partner is not the same thing as seeking out casual sex on the internet with random skanks | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:18:07 PM | yeah my photos where im fully dressed and that shows that i have no tits or ass and im not even trying to show off my lack of tits or ass are sooo slutty
yeah having a photo wearing what you would normally wear every day is totally the same exact thing as singing up on a swingers site... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:41:50 AM | Sounds like I need an AFF account. I just love it when some knows all they need to know about me from one bit of information, it really saves time!
Sounds like OP's relationsip has trust issues all around. Since it's been a while, how did this turn out?
Bob | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:20:46 AM | just for kicks you should put a profile on AFF, and see if he answers it,
i know that is sneeky, but if your spose to be exclusive, i think you should be
aware of what he may be doing, ..I say try it see whats really up with that... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:55:48 AM | I know of a few men who are on here looking for long term...have some real "nice guy" profiles up here... who are also on AFF looking to hook up for sex...one of them doesn't care if it's male or female. Another person told me about one of them, who happens to be in my general area, and I found the other when I was browsing. lol They have one of the same pics up that they use here, just photoshopped the background in one case...changed it from masturbating in the shower on AFF to a pool background and action below the waist concealed on here. Creative folks. Ewww
Ask him about it. But bottom line? If he says you're exclusive and he's active over there? You're not as exclusive as he says. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:32:31 AM | I had something similar happen to me, I was in an 2 yr relationship and oddly enough I found out on the day of our 2 yr anniversary that she was on American singles. She was normally very open about her internet usage but the week prior she seemed to be trying to hide something. Whenever I would come into the computer room she would flip off the monitor and act like she was all done. So, one morning I got up and decided to check my email and then I thought about her being suspicious so I checked the history and there it was. It linked directly to the site with her log on.
I immediately grabbed a bag and started packing, trying to be quiet but she woke up and started asking me what I was doing. I told her I was getting the fcuk out. She asked why and I told her and she flipped out and swore she was only on there to meet friends. She begged me not to leave, she promised to delete the account. I loved this woman with all my heart so I wanted to believe her. Long story short, we broke up within a month and I found out that she had been on match for about 2 weeks prior to the breakup.
My advice, get the fcuk out while the gettins good!!
Rob | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:47:42 AM | | NOT ALLOWED!!!....Does he OWN you???....are you exclusive???...I think not....six weeks is not a long term relationship...Lots of guys and gals are on multi-dating sites for lots of reasons...Don't let it bother you...be kool...Hey maybe even get an account on AFF...lol...ok, maybe not.... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:00:20 AM | | Before you jump to conclusions, look to see when the last time he actually logged in to that account. check his messages and such. Sure he may have been on that site before you two got together and the site would still be in his history. who knows? My question is, if it bothers you for him to possibly be on that dating site, why are you on this dating site? I know you state in your title that you are not single/not looking, but the rest of your profile is purely describing yourself, the perfect date for you...etc. Just food for thought. the foundation of every good relationship is trust and open communication. If something bothers you, talk to him about it. 9/10 the concerns are not what they seem to be. If he is in fact acting like you are in a committed relationship, I would step back and rethink where you are heading with him. Good luck sweetie and best of luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:15:45 PM | [Dating someone for 6 weeks does not make you exclusive. Communicating about becoming exclusive gets you to that point.]-tdh46
While tdh46 has a point, you stated in an earlier post, that you are NOT allowed to date other men.
He can't (or shouldn't) be able to have his cake & eat it, too. If he expects you to be exclusive,
it should go both ways.
Since you only found out about the AFF account by accident, I would tell him, the address
appeared in the drop down, & I was curious/concerned, so I checked it out. Apologize for
inadvertently intruding on his privacy, but ask him WTF is he doing on what is primarily a
sex site, if he wants you to be exclusive. I also noticed on another post, you said he is
getting sex, perhaps you shouldn't have been in such a rush. If you take time to get to know
someone, fall in love, or at least agree to be exclusive before becoming intimate, you stand a
much better chance of not getting hurt. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:26:38 PM |
this site is full of sickos just looking for sex
Ugh, lolnothnx, I couldn't agree more!
Yuck... exchanges of bodily fluid? God, do people actually DO that kind of stuff?!
Excuse me, while I go bathe in bleach! | |
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