| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:45:13 PM |
My question is, if it bothers you for him to possibly be on that dating site, why are you on this dating site? I know you state in your title that you are not single/not looking, but the rest of your profile is purely describing yourself, the perfect date for you...etc.
My profile says "start a new year out seeing where things are going, alternatively we can go somewhere where we can throw things at old people"...... I met my boyfriend new years eve night. It was referring to that.
I showed him my pof profile last night and asked how it made him feel. He said he wasn't sure how it made him feel, that on it's own it could mean different things. He didn't mention his own profile on AFF.
On one hand it kind of bugs me he didn't admit to me that he was on AFF, but on the other hand maybe he is just curious about sex and went to AFF for that reason and isn't actually looking to hook up?
I don't know. I'm going over to his place tonight and we'll get a chance to talk more.
I still really like him. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:21:21 PM | | Well it wasn't really your business to be honest. My suggestion is, if he's going there and you know it.. cool things. You shouldn't have looked, and nothing is going to explain why you did. I couldn't date someone seriously with that knowledge in mind... but then I wouldn't be likely to find something like that out unless they told me. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 4:43:42 AM |
I showed him my pof profile last night and asked how it made him feel. He said he wasn't sure how it made him feel, that on it's own it could mean different things. He didn't mention his own profile on AFF.
See, that's exactly the type of indirect communication thing that women do to men that DOES NOT work. You didn't ask him what he was doing on AFF, explaining honestly how you knew. You showed him a profile of yours and expected him to read your mind and feel guilty (if he was) and confess. Just ask him. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:25:55 AM | You would be surprise of whats in peoples closet and what might fall from it, this includes Mr & Mrs John Q Public, professionals, lawenforcement, lawmakers and VIP's.....and individuals who claim they are saints...
This is my personal opinion....just because someone is a member of a questionable sight, don't always hold all of them hostage..... If its not affecting your relationship forget it.
As I have indicated numerous times every humans make-up are different, and they react accordingly to certain exposures.....yes in some cases pornographic sights breed perverts, rapist, peeping toms and the likes.....but what do you say about individuals who can view this material and lead normal healthy lives.....are they super-human [ NO ] , but they have complete control of that almighty CEREBRUM.... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:46:46 AM | You started this thread with:
"So I've been dating him for about 6 weeks.....not really serious but I was thinking we really liked each other you know?"
You SAID you were "not really serious" so how does that equate to "exclusive?"
Also, you're willing to lift your skirt (so to speak) on a regular basis for a guy you've only dated 6 weeks and vice versa. Too bad you don't know much more about him since you're willing to risk knowing him for the next 18 years, good bad or ugly.
You get what you're looking for I guess. Great example you're setting for your daughter on dating someone who cherishes you from the start. You wouldn't be looking if you weren't wondering.
Good luck with that. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 7:23:37 AM | Well.. It doesn't mean he is dating... having an account is fine sweetie, did you close ur POF account cuz ur dating him? No... so lighten up! :)
BUT if this site is like a escort or intimate hook-up site, LEAVE!! LEAVE NOW!! Men who seek intimate encounters are just Broke Johns. Makes me SICK.
HB | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:50:53 PM | | There is no harm in saying "look I came across it...what's up?" But he may get defensive over it. If you are exclusive I'd say you ahve a right to be upset if you are casually dating...well that's how the ball rolls. Even if you are casual and it's still something you can't deal with, than that's your choice. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:02:41 PM |
So I've been dating him for about 6 weeks.....not really serious but I was thinking we really liked each other you know?"
You SAID you were "not really serious" so how does that equate to "exclusive?"
Also, you're willing to lift your skirt (so to speak) on a regular basis for a guy you've only dated 6 weeks and vice versa. Too bad you don't know much more about him since you're willing to risk knowing him for the next 18 years, good bad or ugly.
You get what you're looking for I guess. Great example you're setting for your daughter on dating someone who cherishes you from the start. You wouldn't be looking if you weren't wondering.
Honestly, the only response I think you deserve is a big F--- off. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:18:29 AM | Well I can certainly see that you've made up your mind about him. But you have also chosen to assume that he wants the same. So you are sleeping at his house,.. hate to say it but, he doesn't seem all that much interested in you. You're a flavour of the moment. You're a just in case. You been dating him for 6 weeks and yet to have the discussion. When getting this close and you're not sure about how he/she feels about you,.. you either have the discussion or back off! As for snooping or spying on him/ her... you've crossed the line. If you plan on staying with this person, .. you can't say anything about it. Then again, chances are your curiousity will eat at you.
Your best bet is too have your,.. "oh so", necessary discussion with him or get lost,.. go find someone who is really into you. Seriously!! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/20/2007 9:05:35 AM |
Honestly, the only response I think you deserve is a big F--- off.[/quote/]
Honestly, to quote one of the best "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn."
Honesty is a bitter pill to swallow at times. It seems perhaps you and your AFF fella are a "match" if you no concern what type of relationship it is you are portraying to your daughter.
Why not ask yourself this question. If your daughter was your age and you knew she was in this situation what advice would you give her?? Or how about a best friend. Sometimes when you are standing with your nose to a tree it is better to back up and see the forrest for what it is. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:58:59 PM |
"no its not cool ,its pathetic, and disgusting"
That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it!
That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it!
Get an AFF account of your own under a psuedonym and see if you can seduce him into an anonymous fling! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:14:11 PM |
"enjoying sex with your partner is not the same thing as seeking out casual sex on the internet with random skanks"
Skank - noun
1) Woman who has sex outside the sanctity of marriage
2) Woman who has sex with partner after hacking into his computer
3) Woman who has never had really good, hot kinky sex but thinks about it a lot. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:30:45 PM |
See, that's exactly the type of indirect communication thing that women do to men that DOES NOT work. You didn't ask him what he was doing on AFF, explaining honestly how you knew. You showed him a profile of yours and expected him to read your mind and feel guilty (if he was) and confess. Just ask him.
Ding ding ding, we have a winner!!!!
If any woman I'd been seeing for that long pulled that with me, she'd get told point blank that she could either speak to me plainly, or walk. Because if I'd been with a woman for 6 weeks it'd be about the most backstabbing thing she could do to me.
Now... as far as him having a profile. Obviously he needs to keep looking.
However, if things were all peaches and cream, so you aren't allowed to date other men, well so either make that change, or demand that same courtesy of him. Or allow him to date other women on the condition you can date other people (men or women... that bullsh!t bisexual double standard doesn't fly in my book). | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:39:34 PM |
BUT if this site is like a escort or intimate hook-up site, LEAVE!! LEAVE NOW!! Men who seek intimate encounters are just Broke Johns. Makes me SICK.
*blink blink* Nah too easy. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:45:52 PM | What the hell you think he is doing on there looking for a new casserole recipe to surprise you with at dinner !!!!
It is what it is honey ..........
As the ol saying goes ....... WAKE UP and smell the coffee !!! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:58:15 PM |
What the hell you think he is doing on there looking for a new casserole recipe to surprise you with at dinner !!!!
It is what it is honey ..........
As the ol saying goes ....... WAKE UP and smell the coffee !!!
Way to score points with the insecure chick. I'm sure she'd gain a lot of self esteem dating you. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:02:40 PM | im with TDH on this one....
there are two issues....
1. you snooping around his computer...not that you "accidently"found the site...but you "checking" his history is a serious issue of trust..what next ? Accidently checking his emails and phone messages? I understand your concern and im sure that many of us would be curious too...but this is where communication should take over and "snooping" should end.
2. Well now that youve opened the pandoras box..its done... so no need to pretend that you didnt. I dont understand why you just dont talk to him about it?...instead of kinda beating around the bush. Perhaps you feel a little guilty about the "snooping"?
If there really is any hope for this relationship its time to put all the cards on the table.
The way you are trying drop hints about your pof account and all aint going to work.
You need to talk openly and honestly....cause trust between the two of you is rather screwed...you better re-establish it fast or just end it.
Good luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:13:05 PM | When are you women ever going to learn to do these things right ?
A little snooping is to be expected in every relationship.
But, when you snoop and you find something you don't like, don't go blabbing it around ! Don't get all upset and start screaming " What's this ?! " and threatening to break up.
Now, you've spilled the beans to him. Now, he knows you can't be trusted around his personal private stuff. Now, he knows you're going to be a picky, up tight, little prude about everything.
He's a man, damn it ! He's supposed to be interested in sex ! Stuff like this, is what we men do.
I guarantee you, he has more chance of finding a sex partner by throwing rocks at girls on the street than he will through Adult Friend Finder.
Your supposed to store that information and discuss it only with your girlfriends so that when a really bad issue comes up in the future they can tell you what a jerk he was all along. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:14:49 PM |
However, if things were all peaches and cream, so you aren't allowed to date other men, well so either make that change, or demand that same courtesy of him. Or allow him to date other women on the condition you can date other people (men or women... that bullsh!t bisexual double standard doesn't fly in my book).
Very nicely stated Sailor on all points. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:23:15 PM | Girl, you right! I'm a slacker..I didn't apparently read your whole situation..(Raising hand -confessing idiocy).
He doesn't know how he feels about you have an account on AFF. Hmmm. sounds like he doesn't really give a hiney. Why would he admit that he's on there? He's on a sex site..Is there something he hasn't told you about his sexual likes? BDSM, Top or bottom? Straight out Vanilla sex makes him violently ill? Have you asked him?
Personally, I'd ask him what's up with it. He may very well be out just looking for the ultimate in sex, getting it from a couple different site. Until you both agree to be exclusive, you nor him, date, sleep with , so on and so forth, he's a free white man. Just because we date, doesn't mean it's going to work out. Dating is still part of the interview process. So how's the interview with him going? Would you want to hire him? Are you sure..
I wish you the best! | |
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