| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:49:45 PM | He's on AFF , you're on POF.... there really is no difference.
He's browsing, looking at naked people, maybe talking to a few. Should things not work out between the two of you he has something lined up...
YOU are on POF not single /not looking.. Bull sh1t!
If you are on this site while you have a b/f, people are browsing you and you are browsing them, making mental notes.
You're no better than he is.
"He doesnt know how he feels about you still having a profile up?"
again bull sh1t! He just made notes that when things fall apart he is going to use that against you, blame you, (not knowing that you know he's on AFF... )
DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM. curious about sex.. BULL!!
men are not as stupid as they'd like us to think they are...
Smarten up, do not fool yourself.. tell him you know, you can not have a relationship at any stage if you have trust issues.
Sh1t he checked the site while you were there.. you are not the first thought on his mind if he's checking his mail on AFF while you're at his house..
best wishes and I truly hope things work ot if you're really into him. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/22/2007 5:21:36 AM | Who says hes hooking up with anyone. He could just be looking at the pictures, you know bit like live porn ??? Maybe he is still just getting emails and needs to log on to tell them thanks but no thanks or to modify his profile. Does he actually have a profile on there btw. You didnt say. What does his profile say? Is it just blank or is he actually advertising himself
You say you arent allowed to date other guys but you aren't saying whether you have spoken to him directly back about him being exclusively committed to you. I know you would think...and assume, but trust me, dont . Some men can be a little on the ""if its not said its ok""...frame of mind. After only 6 weeks....think you need to have that conversation if you haven't. Then you can something like ok going forward its just you and me ok? Then both of you agree to delete all dating / adult whatever profiles you both have. Then see what happens
With the internet thing, you're in a no win situation. If you bring it up, hes gonna know you snooped on him. Seeing it once was one thing, but you've since been back and are now monitoring when hes logged on. If you are going to bring it up, leave it out....that you have been watching him. Good luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/22/2007 5:31:12 AM | DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM. curious about sex.. BULL!!
men are not as stupid as they'd like us to think they are...
Why yes... yes we is! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/22/2007 5:34:42 AM | well you already admitted that you have one as well, so what is the difference?
i think, if you are both really into each other than you should become exclusive and you both should end your membership.
aff is a fun site, even when i am ina relationship i still play online (mainly looking for new females for 3somes) but online 'dating' is considered a form of cheating to some ppls, so if you think HE shouldnt have one YOU shouldnt have one.
its nothing to break up about, just talk to him about it ya know?
good luck! | |
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U-nMe
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 80 | |
| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:35:46 AM | Anyone on AdultFiendFinder is on it looking for sex!! no ifs/buts ... Have you seen those perverts??
I had a very bad experience with an 'angel' of a man I was dating...cut a long story short - he was on there with several pictures with his d*ck in his hand looking for discreet encounters with multiple partners. HE supposedly 'loved' me I was his world bullsh*t!! .. I kicked his @ss out so fast he hasnt seen daylite yet!
Confront him...then get ready to move on HE IS A PERVERT! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:45:56 AM | If you're not allowed to date other guys, then I would bring up that you found the website on his computer. Be completely honest! Let him know that you were just typing something in the web address and that site popped up. (FYI Adult friend finder sends pop ups all the time if the site has ever been visited.... speaking from experience ..my ex used to go on it all the time)
Anyway, don't accuse him of being on the site..just say it popped up while you were trying to check your email or something and ask him if he belongs on the site.. (don't tell him that you already know he is..) Ask him if he's visited it lately..and see what he says. You'll know if he's lying or not, then you'll have another situation to deal with from there. If he doesn't lie, then you can lay your groundwork for what you expect of him out of your relationship. If he is lying...say buh bye perv!
Hope this helps! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 8:48:47 AM | I know a a darling trusting and truly terrific gal...who found her BF had created new fake profiles here and on other websites as well. They have had one of thsoe amazing relationships where they are happy , laugh/play ALOT and get along famously....except for this "little teensey problem" with his hidden and compulsive NEED to lie and cheat...something she would never have EVER guessed in a million years he would do...
THUS...this new profile was created about HIM! Recognize anyone gals? He has several fake profiles here using different ages, and descriptions...once he was caught with one that said he was "widowed"...The things he has done have been VERY hurtful to other women, most especially his longterm exclusive relationship with his GF who is everyone's "dreamgirl". It's like, when you find someone like her...why ever look again? Some people just have this sick online ADDICTION...and it messes up some of the best relationships... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 9:06:54 AM | | I started to cringe the moment you clicked on the web site. I actually had to close my eyes and shake my head from side to side to remove the sick feeling that was stirring in my gut. Computers should be like ladies purses.....never go in her purse..even if she asks you too because it always bites you in the worst place. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 9:40:32 AM | if your not exclusive he can do whatever he wants; but even if ur not exclusive if u 2 are having sex, then he needs to make u aware if he has sex w/someone else or if u haven't had sex, he needs to let u know if he has been having sex w/other women. Just to let u make an informed decision on how to handle things either way.
ask him straight up...u are both adults | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 10:44:55 AM | | I have had my adult friend finders account before I had my POF account. The chat there is fun and some profiles are really funny. Big deal. Doesnt sound like you two are compatable time to move on and find another prude like yourself. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:14:00 PM |
Anyone on AdultFiendFinder is on it looking for sex!! no ifs/buts ... Have you seen those perverts?? Why yes, I look at myself in the mirror every day. Thank you for being so close minded. :)
I find a lot of guys on AFF that aren't just looking for sex. Yeah, the thought of it appeals to them but there are people on there looking for more than just a "hook up". Some of us are there because have unusual or strong desires and the reality is we don't want to end up in a vanilla relationship. So we join there looking for someone that could be a long term mate that is into the same type of sex we are. I like dominant men, I like somewhat kinky/aggressive sex... I don't see this being a site where I can state that in my profile. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:41:25 PM | (Bonks the OP over the head) 
I cant work out who's the more stupid here. Op, I think it may be you. Although some of the posters stating that he may be just looking.. or on the chat site... blah blah blah, do display a charming naivetie. people on AFF are either out and out pervy's, or people with kinks... none of them seem to fit the pattern of TRUSTWORTHY do they? Hook ups, one off encounters blah blah. How many people have to ram this down your throat OP? he's looking to cheat on you,.. and if you vacillate on this situation any longer you deserve what you get. I tire of your vacillating stupidity and vague methods of trying to play mind games with him to get the truth. just ask him. I dont care that you snooped. it was the means to an end, You dont have to justify it, it sounds like he has to justify himself. theres no one completely in the right here. You have your POF account, but hey, thats a lot more innocent than his. Degrees of sin here. His is the worse IMO. just get rid of him, for all our sakes, before we are bored to death. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:49:55 PM | | That is true... but alot of people on this site .. may as well be on it... there stating that there looking for.. dating.. ltr or whatever...only to soon tell people who they chat with.. that there looking for sex.. same ballgame.. different park... i would let him know that you found out about him being on aff by accident.. and then take it from there.. its one thing to like this guy..but if he is arranging to meet others for sex... then you probably need to rethink your relationship... good luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:04:44 PM | I am constantly amazed at the amount of sheer prudery that all these people here have!
Oh, and what were you doing on his computer, OP? Sounds to me like you were looking for something to complain about... | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:16:42 PM | A poster or two has mentioned that you should have some degree of "trust" for this person you've been dating for six weeks. I disagree. Of all the things that go into a relationship, trust is the most challenging one to build. That doesn't mean that you don't have expectations of someone, it just means that you don't feel that since of ease and certainty that someone will live up to your expectations--the way you do with someone whom you've grown to trust.
If you're interested in building a trusting relationship with someone, you actively engage in work designed to create and build trust in him/her and vice versa.
I think there's a real possibility that the op and her bf are not in a relationship where trust is being built. That is what the two of them have to decide. Do they want to develop trust between one another or not. If they do, they will gladly oblige each other in making the process as easy and straightforward as possible. | |
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| Advice Never Costs A Thing
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:06:18 PM | First, be creative and open the lines of communication with him; ask him, not us. Be diplomatic. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Give the benefit of the doubt and if he's a nice chap, he'll return the favor. If you really dig this guy put your best foot forward and let him see how much of a winner you truly are. Give it one for the 'ole Gipper. Follow me?
But, if you are not mutually exclusive and didn't ask for permission and he is a nice chap, you have some explaining to do. Conversely, if you are a mutually agreed upon exclusive item, open the lines of communication and remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar! | |
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| Advice Never Costs A Thing
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:24:32 PM | First, be creative and open the lines of communication with him; ask him, not us. Be diplomatic. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Give the benefit of the doubt and if he's a nice chap, he'll return the favor
Now that is just crazy talk!
Why be creative when you can be whiney? Why open lines of communication with him when you can instead cast aspertions and make assumptions? Why be diplomatic when you can be overly dramatic instead? Why be honest when you can be devious and create false profiles to trap him with? Why be trustworthy when you can write people off with a single bound? Why give people the benefit of the doubt if they clearly are less human than you hence why you are whining about them in the first place? How could he be a nice chap if he is on AFF, or anyplace other than what the OP deems suitable?
See Numaticsoul, you have unfortunatly tried to apply reason to an issue that would normally be appreciated by reasonable people to a scenario very far removed from anything even remotely approaching the notion of reasonable. This is PoF and it is Monday again.
What that means is that invariably some Men and Women just got back from another bad weekend where they did the same old same old that they have always done in the past with no success, and once again things went sour, as such they feel the need to come back today and complain or lash out about how awful everyone else but them must be. I think you get the picture
After you have been here for a while you will begin to see the pattern and learn to dismiss most of the nonsense you read from late Sunday through Wednesday. Normally by Thursday the Natives have settled down enough to be somewhat rational as they make plans to repeat the process again come Friday. Good luck mate!
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Advice Never Costs A Thing
Posted: 8/6/2007 4:29:30 PM | | Thorn, I couldn't agree with you more. LOL. I'm a rookie here but learning fast! Well put friend. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:04:33 PM | | straight up ask him if your relationship is exclusive. If he says no but is willing to make it such, then you have no problems. If he says yes, then I would bring up the fact that he has an active account on that adult finder site. But I wouldn't bring it up unless the exclusive talk happened cause it could result in a fight or whatever over nothing. | |
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Alzena
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 97 | |
| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:48:56 PM | | You have been dating for 6 weeks, and your staying at his place while he as at work and your already sping on him? I would tell him to move one. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:05:38 PM | I can't pass judgement on the site users but honestly if you're spending the night I'm assuming you have been intimate. The people he may or may not have met on there would be a health risk and therefore your first priority is too discuss exactly what site he's on , what he's done and what he plans on doing for no other reason than your own health.
Good luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 8/12/2007 11:43:22 AM | Finally a mature response. Thank you!
Its funny that people see only themselves as victims. A sure sign of immaturity and selfishness. Wouldn't it be better if you had sat him down and told him your history before delving into his. Noone is innocent, on any level.
Be honest, but be honest with yourself first.
Good luck!
Baleal100 | |
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