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 Dr.Strange
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 26
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
What we're lacking is staying power. And, I don't think that has anything to do with how many people are currently shopping. We all know that if we lacked single people, these people would start looking for married people in their same situation.

I started a thread that somewhat discussed this, in a round about way (something about menu choices)


I would add that many People do not know what they are looking for,It has nothing to do with too many fish but more having enough morals to be content with Your choice,People make the mistake of running from one relationship to another thinking they will find happiness.
 Musical Touch
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 27
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:55:44 PM
In my last relationship I discovered she was looking to upgrade when the right guy came along and she told me so. At least she was honest about me being a BTN (Better Than Nothing) lover. OUCH!

In our last conversation she said if she met the right guy she would leave in a heart beat. This new revelation after I had helped her through knee surgery was the reason that conversation was our LAST conversation. Too bad it took me two years of being jerked around to find out the truth about her REAL feelings for me.

(OT) I believe most people feel there is an abundance of available singles out there waiting to be met. It's that "sense of abundance" that obscures the real truth. The odds of finding someone you really connect with on an emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual level are truly rare.

IF you do the math on the odds of meeting someone you might have your eyes opened to how difficult it is to find a lifetime love. For example. Take THREE criteria you desire in a love connection. Let's use looks, intelligence, and income as three choices. Let's say that 1 person in 25 turns your heads as far as looks. That one person in 25 has the intelligence you are looking for and that one person in 25 has the income you are looking for.

Turn each of those three desires into fractions (1 out of 25 or 1/25) and multiply them. One over 25...times one over 25...times one over 25...equals 15,625. Divide this number into 1 and you find out that you would need to meet 640 THOUSAND PEOPLE to find ONE person who meets your THREE criteria! OH by the way....did I tell you that the ONE PERSON out of the 640 THOUSAND MIGHT NOT be a member of the sex you are looking for? OOPSIE! When you do the math it really becomes a sobering revelation...WHY finding the love of your life may only happen once in your life....

What are the odds of you finding the soulmate you seek? Well that depends on how many different criteria (variables) you are adding to your selection process.

I feel another contributing factor if you stay or move on in a relationship is how others have treated you in the past. If you have been ogled often because of your physical attributes...it is hard not to become narcissistic and arrogant.

I believe in the normal populace it is more common to see attractive women with men who are NOT at the woman's same level of attractiveness. Usually when one partner is much more attractive than the other person in the relationship....there is a mitigating factor involved.

A wealthy man usually attracts beautiful women...the mitigating factor is his wealth. Grigory Rasputin (Russian mystic) was VERY ugly but he had many a beautiful lover. When Rasputin was killed by jealous Russian men...could the fact his 12 inch love member (which was cut off during the extended process it took to kill Rasputin) that was eventually retrieved from the floor by an old lover be a mitigating explanation for why Grigory had so many beautiful women?

Bottom line...if you have found a deep and abiding love...count yourself blessed...you may have beaten odds in finding love...that are greater than winning the lottery.
 mostlykitten
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 28
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:26:16 PM
If you get the right one, you won't want to fish or upgrade til you do, keep fishing. LOL
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 29
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Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 2:11:22 PM
If you have been ogled often because of your physical attributes...it is hard not to become narcissistic and arrogant.

Or to think that *somebody* is so far off-base as to what's important in life. . . . On the positive side, it's a real quick filter.

I'm easy: all my ideal guy needs is a great soul. Looks, money, fast car really don't matter at all in the long run. Soul does. Cool part: great souls don't even know they are. Don't get all puffed up about it, and *they* don't keep fishing. . . .



.
 chadster!
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 30
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 2:23:29 PM

If you have been ogled often because of your physical attributes...it is hard not to become narcissistic and arrogant.


chances are you whould have been arrogant and conceided anyway. and we all get ugly eventually, should not put all your eggs in one basket.
the alternative is people who are modest and confident!
anyway, there are not enough fish but to many whales!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 31
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Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:01:21 PM
We are a product of a *throw away society*... meaning it's a whole lot easier to walk away then work on a relationship and make it work.

Case in point. My ex decided that instead of going to counselling and working on our relationship, he decided that things were over and he didn't love me anymore (wasn't sure he ever loved me). IMO he walked out on his family because he was too GD stubborn to reveal personal things to a complete stranger. I would have fought for our relationship, our family... I was the one who suggested we do the counselling (a year before he pulled the plug), I was willing to do the work.

No.. I didn't want an upgrade from him. I felt we were perfect for one another. Yes there were issues. As far as I was concerned tho, they weren't anything that couldn't have been worked on, overcome. I felt he was worth it. Obviously he didn't feel the same about me.

Faithful we were. Ok, well I can't really speak for him, can only trust that what he said to me at the end was the truth... *I* was faithful, and that's really all that matters to me.

Communication is an issue tho. Many people do not know how to communicate well/effectively. Without open lines of communication and honesty and the ability to work at keeping things alive and fresh, not taking one another for granted... any relationship is doomed to failure.
 chadster!
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 32
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:09:41 PM
not everyone should be in a relationship, people don't consider this they just think it's all part of life, and yes the ones who are reading this saying "yea some people shouldn't " im talking to you! chances are if you got a relationship tried to make it work and the guy left he probly extended his sexual vacation with you until something better came along, well im man enough to call it quits before kids are born and marriages are ruined.
 Just_Another_Gurl
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 33
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Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:14:46 PM
I think that too many in this day and age are raised without the values and morals concerning relationships that used to be present. This is the age of the "what about me" syndrome where people are always looking for how the other person can fuluill them and all their desires thereby ensuring a failed relationship due to the fact that no one human being can make us happy. Only we can make ourselves happy and when we go back to the ideals that a marriage (or LTR) takes work and acceptance of the person, faults and all, things will begin to change again.

I don't think that it is a case of too many people, I think it is a case of too many people taught the wrong basics for a relationship.
 larwilliams
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 34
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:21:36 PM
The problem with dating in general (not just online) is that both guys and girls have no respect for each other at all, for the most part. It just boils down to immaturity really. Hence why I like ladies a few years older than myself. They can offer the same things I do: respect, accountability, and a desire to work on a beautiful relationship.
 hhhmmmmm
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 35
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:33:32 PM
I am view 1000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 JimHensoncreature
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 36
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:44:37 PM
the one break-up i had was because she thought her parents wouldnt approve of her being with a dissabled man. it wasnt due to too may fish in the sea.
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 37
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:46:59 PM
Hey Eddie...I don't think there are enough fish in the sea..I mean fish that we are really compatible with. The older we get the less we are willing to settle. So if we find a fish that's close enough no need to keep fishing even if he has a little fin I'm keeping him!
 ohnoudidnt
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 38
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 9:02:20 PM
Yeah a lot of people always have one foot outside the door looking for something more or better. They never give their all so the relationships don't work.
 T-05
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 39
Plenty of Fish, or Too Many Fish?
Posted: 3/20/2007 9:05:48 PM
I honestly think that it is just to easy to keep looking and people are always looking for someone better and then you are just going to have a bunch of old single people going to POF events trying to meet people that are never going to settle cause "well what if i meet somone better" god forbid you meet someone decent and actually put some effort into it !!
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