| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 3:54:10 AM | | I dont appreciate your post, and I feel I speak for most on here. Please dont post here again, before I report you. This is a warning | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 3:56:17 AM | | Your post is very deep. Thanks for your comments. I wish you well and I really hope everything works out for you. Abuse is very hard to look over, and once your life has been touched by it, its hard to get past. You will NEVER forget, but you can be healed:> I wish you well! Take Care | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 6:01:49 AM | All these attacks on everyone posting. Yes there are signs and "red flags" of abuse.... you can see them now as you have been through it. At the time you couldn't see them or just refused to see them.
HINDSIGHT IS 20/20!!!!
Now just because you have survived an abusive relationship doesn't mean you are now a martyr and have to save everyone. Each individual is the master of their own destiny. Yes you can inform people about such things... utlimately it is up to them what they choose to see and do.
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 8:26:22 AM | how true diggy...........the thing to do is point out the info...and stand by if needed......cuz after that it is up to the victim to make the next move....and she or he will do that when they feel safe enough to do so..............its warfare in some of these situations and all too often a person is fightin in the dark................
and sperit...............who are you askin not to post........i dont see where someone havin a different opinion should be grounds for reportin......all to often i have seen someone not understandin someone elses post and takin offense................
girl i can understand yer grief and passion........but acceptance can be a more fullfillin part of the story............. | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:19:33 AM | Ladyi8-
Hello,Im_Your_Stalker
Joined: 4/20/2005
Total Posts: 16
Msg: 72
view profile
Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/24/2005 4:26:55 PM
women dont want nice guys they want man that'll put the smack down on that behind. yeah they'll say they want a sweet guy but what they really want is a thug that'll bend them over a chair and tear that ass up! bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang
If you call this an opinion that so be it, i find it very affensive ..that was from stalker! | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:21:38 AM | sweetie thas not a stalker ...thas a troll........they are ugly and they get their rocks off by ppl respondin to him...........they feed on chaos......but when ya ignore him...ya deball him....... | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:22:40 AM | Ok everybody....
step down and take a deep breath........
this is an intense topic and needs to handled carefully | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:30:38 AM | | I think I saw this movie on Lifetime Channel, if it is the one I am thinking of the one who played the lead character was the same actress who played Jo on Facts of Life. What is her name? I cannot remember. If this is the same movie; I remember the beating scene and it was the most horribly real abuse scene I have ever seen in my life. It did say this was a true story...is this the movie you are talking about? | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:48:50 AM | Regardles.... abuse towards women and men exists and is the number one reason most women are in prison today in the US.... they killed their husbands or significant others as they felt they had no other alternative (sad I think)... with all the available resources out there... I think we should educate ourselves and our friends so that we have the support to see the signs and to leave.
I know easier said than done.... | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:31:48 AM | Seattlesteve,
If you read the story, i tells you in my storie, that a movie was made about my story. To protect myself names were not in it. | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:46:38 AM | Survivors Rock!
Ladies, given the number of women that have to seek help from agencies, etc., are the other men (Fathers, Brothers, Friends, etc.) in your lives truly made aware of the abuse women are enduring these days? Complete conjecture here, but are men now conditioned away from virtually unconditional respect for women as children? I was raised to kick the proverbial crap out of any "man" that would be stupid enough to mess with let alone abuse the women I love. Could making potential mates aware of the power of family/community loyalty at romance's blossom weed out any abusers? Do fathers today need to improve upon the level of respect they instill in their sons? Do mothers need to do the same? I know we will sadly always need outside help to be available to women and anyone that is undergoing or at risk of serious abuse, but it sure seems that if we could get some old fashioned values into more young men than more young women would not have to undergo the far to common nightmare of abuse. Is the rise in abuse more from increased reporting or is it a fundamental lack of adequate numbers of positive male role models in boys lives? I don't know, sure would like too! | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:16:55 AM | hi there im not a good writer but ill try to put into words how my abuse was and for 17-yrs.
i want to thank you for your honesty and also your courage in wriiting on this site. mebbe it will bring some 1 out that is in a abuseive relaship.
i met my husband in 1988 we both rode motorcyles and injoyed that but like you when the 1st time happens u think well he had a bad day or something.in 1990 my now ex was on his bike and was with another women,he was hit by a druck driver and was throw from the bike he and also the lady on the bike both lost there left legg and my ex had lilttle use of his left arm,,,before the accident i saw things and didnt want to look at them i just shoveled them away..thinkin that he would change but he didnt and with his accindetn it only made things worse he was confiined to a tramua hospital in pa for about 5-months.where he had over 28-opertions on his left legg i was there and stood bye him ..not nothing that he would suvie or not..he had a chest tube in so many things wrong i cant rember them all he finally came home where i left my job to care for him and become a nusre 24 7 not leaving the house for 1-yr i had my mom go food shopping etc.for me i moved the bed down stairs and i didnt sleep with him in fear i would touch his legg so i laid on the floor for about 18-months.each opertion he had he had infections..and i was the 1 to take care of him.clean out his legg anf bandage it up 3-times a day..let me say this he is 6-7ft 500-lbs and his legg was ripped off in the road.we he came home the abuse got worse you see when your in a hospital for any lenght of time you are taken care of bye nusres,doxs,,Pttherpy BUT when u come home he expeted everything to go bak to what it was What a horrible thing..he couldnt go up to the bathroom couldnt go out and my Gawd his bike..so the abuse got worse.i grew up with good parents and they taught me values..so when i got married i didnt say to every 1 in the church i would stand bye him i told him..so i stayed with him ,,,the more the time went on more abuse like yelling at me because he wanted popcorn ..as time went on i helped him to go to ptherpy. there when he would take his legg and throw it at the dr's telling them that it wasnt his legg i felt like i wanted to slide out the door..he have bad time at pt..i got mental abuse on the way home for pt hosptail..
if sometimes he didnt get want he wanted he would cut himself leaving cuts along his arms..as things went on he after about 3yrs.decided to get bak on his bike..he had a sidecar put on it..he wouldnt listen to me ,,its JUst want he wanted all the time..so i gave in..in 1997 my mom became sick and i was very close to her i used to run home and stay the weekend to get away from him but not before cooking him meals for the weekend.my mom called me 1 day and told me she didnt feel good i took her to the hospital to find out the she had cancer in her lungs and also in her brain...this was the end of april 1997..in june 14-1997 my mom died in my home..i though i would die you see my best freind was my mom and i could talk to her about anythng so not having her to talk to but i didnt tell her about the abuse.she saw it for herself.not having her to talk to...i tried taking my own life.i dint want to live..i couldnt change him it just got way out of control i didnt have any family left so if i left him i could go live with them.i didnt see a way out at all.
well i went to consuling for about 2yrs before i left him..he went away for the day but didnt come back till the weekend i was in my office doing bills when he came home.i wasnt happy to see him but he asked me what was wrong.i told him i wanted a divorce
that i couldnt live this way anymore.mind you he is in a wheelchair..only thing he said to me was WHERE IS THE BIKE TITLE i told him it wasnt in the house.he became a mad man,,,,he picked up up and threw me agaist the wall..i came down hitting my head on a oak desk...then bouched up off the floor..he rolled his wheelchair in the kitchen to bring bak a knife and told me if i didnt get the fu.. out of the house he was going to kill me...i left the house and went to a phone and called the police.
i dont no how i got up off the floor..but i did i was at the police staiton all nite long and in the morning i had a appt with my coulser..i went to my cousler and told him what happen i couldnt walk there and i was so dizzy. he sent me to the hospital i layed there in the er...thinking i couldnt belive he did this to me i helped him walk and gave him courage and i dont have my parents any more i layed there.the light in the made the pains in my head worse i could take the ligth ( they though i had brain damage) i went through all those MRI..catscans not knowing if i was goin to walk again and i couldnt walk a strait line..i was there in hospital for about 4-days in and out of it..my counlser put me in a Womens shelter for abused women..i had a neck brace on and was a mess. i left him but i didnt no where i was going...
i since got my divorce on the grounds of abuse and extrem mental curelty..i have a life time restaring order agaist him..but even today im still scared ..im not sure if this helps but i do thank u for posting your message.....huggs Jerszeygirl** | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:25:23 AM | i would like to thank BuddahNubis for helping me post my abuse since i was using short cuts and it wasnt posting..thank u again my freind soft smiles..
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:49:56 AM | jersygirl-
My god, sounds like you went through some of the same stuff as me. Trying to comit suicide (im sure you know by now) is what he wants. You should never feed into something like that. You have to stay strong, and know your own bounds.
My husband beat on me for two years, and I never let him get me down. Im a strong "survivor" and truely beleive this had made me even stronger!! Thankyou so much for posting, maybe we can reach out to a few people!! Good luck, and stay strong girl!! | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 5/4/2005 5:33:25 PM | | sweetheart god bless you you survived heres a poem i wrote knowin not what you went through in intensive care but sister in fear Anger frustration and fear I cried for help and no one would hear he beat on me again and again to strike him back was where my leagal troubles begin Officer Officer please help me he closed his eyes and would not see he's beat on others in the past if someone doesn't stop him his line of victims will last and last all my emotions I have to sort why am i the one taken to court? Criminal or vitim who am I the officer said i did nothing but lie he was an upstanding man to a women he would never raise a hand at the police station he has his own file he's continued to hurt women for a long long while frustation fear and anger I feel whill he ever be stopped if justice keeps spinning it's wheels to put my life back together again i will continue to strive I'm luckier than some I'm still alive best of luck sweetheart i know the fear | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:04:04 PM | Thank you Speritualone
for bring this to our attention. I imagine a lot of people feel ashamed or embarrassed to found themselves in this situation, and feel like it was their fault. I compliment you for over coming those feelings, so that others may gain some insight on abuse. Sad to say it is one of the things in history that repeats its self.
Some view this and say "It'll never happen to me, just like so many other things in life.
Keep up the good work.
Old Soldiers Never Die They Just Fade Away | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:07:07 PM | | I am sorry to hear that.I also have been there and it took me 13 years to get out.I vowed It will never and I mean never happen to me again.But we can't say that can we?Because one never knows until they have commited. | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:44:25 PM | But here's the real kicker:
That if he was nice and smiled and said hi, the girl would've told him to **** himself and he would have never dated her. | |
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MISS13
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 96 | |
| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:57:42 PM | The Police standing by while he was still beating you is troublesome.
Yes the Tracey Thurman story.....excellent movie and she did sue for millions because the police did nothing......stood there....while he jumped up and down on her stabbing her something like 60 times while screaming at his approx 3 year old son..."I killed your mother"........
Omg that movie....every woman should see that....police protection is not enough....if they want you they will get you.....restraining orders are a joke...a piece of paper will not stop a person this angry.
If you didn't see the movie she was left crippled in a wheel chair to raise her son.
oooo thinking about that movie sends chills up my back....very graphic...be ready if you watch it.
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/17/2007 6:03:02 PM |
First off, you should have left him from the first time he laid an unloving hand on you. Thats not exactly something an apology can make all better, but it's all down to what you prefer. If you forgive him and he never does it again, thats one thing. I wouldn't count on it.
Of course it seems that simple, but it really isn't. You see, emotional abuse is usually the precursor to physical abuse. People are rarely "just" physically abusive. They tear you down a little at a time, preying on your weaknesses and breaking down your defenses. They almost always wait until you're invested in the relationship as well.
Secondly, all too often I've seen women stay with this type of guy for a laundry list of excuses...
But they are not excuses to those of us who have been in that situation. It's how we rationalize what's going on. We become dependant on these people, because they have drilled it into our heads that we would be "lesser" without them. And we believe it.
"I'm afraid he'll hunt me down" ... Yeah, but you could get a restraining order, or even moreso, go somewhere where he can't find you.
It's not so cut and dried as all that. Restraining orders are pretty much worthless when it comes to physical abusers. If they want to hurt you, they will. And if they want to find you, most of the time they will. In my case, I was in a small province and was attending school. It wasn't too easy to find a place in my city to "hide". As well, we had friends in common so making it so that he would never find me would have deprived me of my support system as well.
Looking back now, there are so many shoulda, woulda, couldas....but I was not in the right frame of mind at the time to see things so clearly. | |
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MISS13
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 98 | |
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MISS13
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 99 | |
| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/17/2007 6:10:27 PM | Seattlesteve
""I think I saw this movie on Lifetime Channel, if it is the one I am thinking of the one who played the lead character was the same actress who played Jo on Facts of Life. What is her name? I cannot remember. If this is the same movie; I remember the beating scene and it was the most horribly real abuse scene I have ever seen in my life. It did say this was a true story...is this the movie you are talking about?""
Yes I saw that movie but I doubt it's the one she is talking about....it's called the Tracey Thurman Story...
That movie is almost as old as the OP | |
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| Abuse for the ladies
Posted: 1/17/2007 6:19:00 PM | | Her name is Nancy McKeon. I was young when this movie came out, around 11 I think. The part that sticks with me that most was when she was trying to peel an apple for her son, but couldn't because of the paralysis in her hand. It horrified me that someone could have it in them to do such damage to another person..and that it would have such far-reaching effects for the victim.... | |
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