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| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:18:18 PM | | I hear what you say. BUT.....there is always that bad apple that just can't take the hint and either goes the way of "why am I not...." or "I can change...." or just goes postal. I have found that honest is good on the first date. If there is no magic, then that is that. | |
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| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:33:29 PM | Too many times a person(s) you thought would be "OK" wasn't. I've learned to avoid as much face to face and phone confrontation as possible. Problem there is, my thoughts aren't conveyed as well as they might have been if we spoke. But still, I feel compelled to state only fact with as little finite detail as possible, get to the main point and hope for the best.
All too often, once someone's feelings are hurt, their ego bruised, they turn into a person you didn't think they could be and any hope of a "calm" discussion is gone.
The "I said - You said" syndrome starts and no one walks away from that feeling good.
Good Luck,
01 | |
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| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 12/10/2007 7:58:52 PM | | But who's giving who the silent treatment? If I meet someone in person for the first time (not a real date) and things are just okay, but nothing special, who has to send an email saying there was no chemistry or whatever? If you don't say anything and the other person doesn't say anything, is there really anyone to blame for the silent treatment? This scenario has happened to me on a couple occasions. | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 179 | |
| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 12/10/2007 8:15:28 PM | If you don't say anything and the other person doesn't say anything, is there really anyone to blame for the silent treatment? This scenario has happened to me on a couple occasions.
I don't have a problem with this scenario. However if I emailed a man after a date or a meeting and he wasn't interested in me. Then I think he should tell me that he's not interested instead of ignoring me. | |
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| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:52:59 AM | I'm not certain that this is the right thread to post a response to this thread...no doubt i'll have another letter from ADMIN telling me i'm in the incorrect thread...lol...!!
Anyway here goes
I was taught that manners maketh the man sooo.....if I go off a POF member I would say so to their face so to speak. However I'm mature enough to accept that not everyone has good manners. What i'm at a loss to understand are the ladies i've contacted , written to , laid ground rules , IM 'ed even had MSN addys given and spoken to via.......who then go to ADMIN reporting me..! On top of which , without so much as a by your leave , I get informed by ...ADMIN...i'm on FINAL warning...? Naturally I have asked said ADMIN......what my misdemeanour has been.......I received the warning at midnight my time ...I was in bed asleep.....and replied around 8-30 am this morning. OK its only 2pm now....but...no reply as yet......??!! | |
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| The Silent Treatment or Giving an explanation WHY it is a No
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:23:27 AM | It really depends alot on the situation.
If it was only one date, and you choose not to see him again and he asks you out again, I just tell him that I think that we are not in the same place or seem to want the same thing.
If both of you are not feeling it, which happens, he won`t call back, let it rest. No words needed.
If the end of a relationship, it really depends on the situation. Often, a relationship will end after an arguement. So I personally like to have time to cool off and get my head together before I speak. Sometimes (alot of times) men become hostile if you reject them. So you have to be very careful in your approach for personal safety. I don`t usually trust the actions of a man that is agitated already. So I will usually do whatever it takes to sooth the situation , get away and get safe. That is my first priority.
I will alot of times turn it around so the man feels that the breakup was his choice, therefore he saves face, and doesn`t become vindictive and do something. I try to
maneuver so he feels as if he is in control and has made the decisions. Yes, I have to swallow my pride, but much better than a black eye or a threat. If I sense any kind of fear, I will cut off all contact after that. It doesn`t alway happen, but sometimes it does.
Get out safe! | |
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