| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:07:56 PM | At first I thought the OP was referring to "in general". Then I read that the post was specifically about OLD.
Then I read a random sampling of some of the other views on this. Some were insightful, an occasional one was silly, most had a valid point or two. Kinda like the anecdote of the blind men trying to describe an elephant.
I suppose that for some it is a great venue. For them I think that it is a great vehicle. I have absolutely no issue with that. Seriously.
For others it's a total disaster. I can't tell you why, because each has their own particular reasons. I have no issue this this either.
For most other people it's hard, almost to the point of a second (or third job). In any event I tend to believe that you go with what your strengths are, not your weaknesses. If you find that things just don't seem to click with this strategy, or you feel uncomfortable about doing it... then don't do it. Or at least don't become overly reliant about it.
So for many, focus on real life and it's advantages. The most obvious thing is that you are dealing with real people not anonymous faces or words on the screen. No shocker about that. Not only do you see the others in real life settings, but they also get to see/know you and the things you have to offer. I'm not necessarily talking about a bar or club, but where you stand a decent opportunity to meet and greet. How and where is up to the individual initiative and creativity within each of us.
I don't think that this is terribly insightful, and it certainly is not profound. then again, it doesn't need to be. All it has to do is make sense. At least to you, or who ever is reading this thread. So you might agree, you might disagree. It's all good.
So should you give up? If you feel that is the right thing for you to do then maybe you should. Or at least take a break and do some thinking about it. But give up entirely in your search? I think that is going to an extreme, and extremes rarely work in the long run.
In any event, good luck.
Regards
M | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/23/2009 1:51:20 AM | | I dont feel like giving up... I already have given up... modern women are simply players, even the nice ones... okay, I haven't quite got round to locking the door and throwing away the key yet but pletty close to it. I know some women are going to claim they are not players but the fact is modern 'liberated' women have crossed the line between the genders, virtually making relationships pointless. The only way is to become a player too and play the women at their own game, which they seem to fall for very readily, but that's not my way, I live by my high moral code in a world without morals so I stand no chance. Every woman I have ever met has either lied to me, cheated on me, taken me for a ride or done all three. In the words of the band YES.. owner of a lonely heart, better than an owner of a broken heart... women aren't worth the heartache... sad but true... | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/23/2009 4:42:44 AM | I find myself wanting to give up on people all too often.
I'm a fairly shy person, I have trouble meeting new people and I find it hard to make friends.
I used to live in Melbourne and I found that I didn't seem to meet anyone, well no one who held my interest beyond an initial hello. I've now moved to a country village and although I don't know anyone here I am happier being here than I was in a city.
From what I can tell I am the only person in my age group in this village; there seem to be a few people in their late teens and some in their mid-40s; I'm in my early 30s and in some ways I don't fit in the age group, but I do fit in the psyche needed to live here.
I have a few friends online, most of them live a long way away (over 500km), they try to offer advice, but I find it just highlights to me my insecurities and my lack of social ability.
The only way I've ever met people before is through the Internet; I'm not the sort to approach a stranger in the street and I don't go to clubs and pubs (being a non-drinker they're not very pleasant places to go).
I've noticed over the last 5 years my priorities have changed. Throughout my 20s sex was high on the agenda, these days I want the companionship, I want the intelligent conversation and the mundane things like planning home renovations or sorting out the finances. As I've become more resigned to being alone I've found that jobs I used to do for myself are slipping; that pile of dishes is testament to that; it's just hard to get motivated to do things when you're the only one who will notice they are done.
Over time the motivation to even try to meet new people has faded; I still try, but it's a half-hearted effort. In the past I've found that people I thought were friends take advantage of my generosity and then disappear, people who I thought would be more than a friend seem to do the same. I couldn't live with myself if I stopped helping these so-called "friends", so instead I just let it all fade away and rely on my own company.
This is one of those rare moment when I've been in the right frame of mind to open up about it.
To all the people out there who just can't seem to meet anyone, either a friend or something more, you're not alone, there's others of us out here who are hiding away in little country villages, in cities, in towns, who have no idea where we're going wrong and have taken the only course of action we see as an option; we've become hermits, limiting our conversations to the Internet; living in the hope that one day we'll find another hermit to share our life with; hoping that we're wrong in our knowledge that it will never happen. | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/23/2009 9:03:11 AM | | I have been feeling like that more and more recently. And I do think I will just give up and not try anymore. Honestly my mind, body and spirit just can't take the constant rejection anymore. Hell I get rejected by guys I have no interest in and never even made anything seem like I was interested in em. And I am really not finding anyone interesting right now. Oh well. | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:25:53 PM | | Don’t give up so easy,, whenever I feel like throwing in the towel and giving up,, I just take a small break, come back and try again,,, try to remember not everybody is on the same wave link, so if you get rejected don't take it to heart, I wish the best of luck to all :) | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:29:28 PM | | The fact is most are unsuccessful because ot themselves not the other. Remember love is not about what you want or get from being with your partner [no matter how small it is]. It is however about how much of yourself can you give to them and do you want to give to them. If you Have limits or expectations in a relationship back out for your not ready or a relationship. What you are ready for [man or woman] is to get laid and thats a waste of time | |
|
| |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/5/2009 6:30:54 AM | | This is exactly how I feel. All the men I've come in contact with have been players. I think women have become players because of how they've been treated by some man. Honestly, I have had moment where I've thought to myself it would just be easier for me to be a player but I just don't have it in me. I'm too honest. I want to give up all the time. At this point I've come to stop expecting that something will happen. I don't want to look for love any more. Now I want to find a friend and if something happens that's great, but I'm not going to fill my head with flowers and poems waiting for Mr. Right to fall from the sky. | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:32:07 AM | | I can very much relate to what you are saying .i just some days want to shut down and go in hideing cause i feel all women will just hurt me as much as my ex did and then theres days im all for wanting to meet some one but my heart is scared of getting hurt a gain so yes i relate to what you are saying | |
|
| |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/6/2009 3:56:16 PM | Don't give up!
Then too, don't put ALL your eggs in one basket either!
This site has worked for me, but not without time invested.
Believe me, you will meet the 'not yet ready for prime time players' in droves,
kind of like a playground for the unsettled.
Yet, there are those who aren't too far into themselves, or have no sense of humor,
or have a headfull of prejudice that spills out like Juan Valdez's coffee beans in
a hurricane![humor me on THAT one!]  | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:06:14 PM | I'm starting to think I really don't have it in me at all anymore to keep up the search. I took some time off from last July to when I rejoined this site in January or so because the constant, repeated rejection without so much a hint of success in 34 years was taking its toll. Now that I've put myself back out there again, all I've gotten is one rejection after another again and I'm right back to where I was last July.
It's not even the constant rejection that bothers me so much as I've never even gotten so much as a taste of success. How can I possibly keep a positive mental attitude when I'm 34 years old and don't even know what it's like to kiss a woman, much less be in a relationship? I just can't bring myself to do it anymore.
I mean, in so many ways my life should be considered very successful. I have a master's degree that I worked my butt off for. I have a fantastic, lucrative career. I live in a great apartment. And so on and so on.
Yet I feel like I can't even enjoy what I have because I've never had anyone to share it with. | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/8/2009 4:47:24 PM | | You can have friends to enjoy. There is no need for a relationship other than friendship. It's a scam, for selling soaps and greeting cards. Appreciate what you have and don't waste your time wishing for what doesn't exist. | |
|
| |
| |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/9/2009 1:49:23 AM | I'm pretty much of the same mind as the original poster. In the past four years (since my divorce) I've tried numerous dating sites and have been on three or four dates. The last one was about a year ago. I'm pushing 50, I'm only average looking, and I can be extremely shy. This adds up to very little chance of meeting that special someone.
I don't look forward to the weekends. Working keeps me busy. When Friday night roles around I find myself sitting at home. On occasion I'll go to a local pub to listen to the live music, but because of my shyness, I could never try to "pick up". | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/9/2009 2:21:39 AM | Pretty much just here for the forums at this point.
It's easier to size a person up in person that you meet doing what you love in the long run, and takes so much less effort.
Having said that, I met a wonderful man on another site a few years back, so perhaps hope should spring eternal? | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/9/2009 9:19:07 AM | I feel like giving up all the time since alot of people both men and women like to play damn games.
I am in my mid 30s and divorced. This game men like to play is crazy but I know women play the game also. I am not a player !!!!! I am an honest, loyal, faithful person who wans to find that Mr Right that has morals and values which is why I think I should give up due to that not many men out there have those values to know what is right from wrong.
Well who knows maybe some guy will read this and contact me but I am not holding my breath.
Have a great day.
 | |
|
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/12/2009 5:39:36 PM | | I can relate. I've been single for a year. I just recently started going to dating sites. I don't get any kind of messages, winks, or anything. I feel that I will never find that special someone that was meant for me. I don't know what else to do but to keep my profiles up and hope that someone contacts me. Don't give up. Someone will contact you and you will find that special someone. | |
|
| |
| |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:25:04 PM | | i close mine down and then reactivate them constantly. sometimes i feel like i'm in a lose/lose situation too, because it's so hard to meet someone online and i live so far out in the middle of nowhere that it's a miracle i even have friends. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
Home
login 
but i'll try to stay on here, because guys get on here and then leave and new ones come on. i'm even trying to move up north where the ratio of men to women should be more in my favor at least.
