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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:32:52 PM | | This is my third or fourth time trying POF. I have had zero success with it, as well as with other dating sites. I have an anxiety disorder and it makes going out and "mingling" difficult. Once I'm comfortable with someone, it's all good, but someone has to want to get to know me in order for that point to be reached. I'm pretty open-minded and I don't look for a real narrow set of requirements, but I do try to sned messages to women with whom I have something in common. But I have sent out message after message, and have never gotten more than a "read/deleted." It gets old, and it gets frustrating, and for some of us it gets depressing. I've given up a few times, as I've said, but being alone gets to be just as frustrating and depressing, so here I am back again. I don't know why I expect this time to be any different than the last attempts, which were basically a daily shot to the nuts of my self-esteem, but what else can you do but try? | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:43:16 AM | Yep, i no longer bother meeting anyone, last time for any meets was late 90's
Way easier life, i just read forums now, and whats interesting, i am glad, the amount of issues you read "i was with someone x years, now they left....."
Depends what you want from life AND how much agrovation you want to put up with, "what if" for me is a high deciding factor of weather i do something or not.....
Sure has its down sides (no sex, no social life), however for me its easier and i prefer easier :) | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:44:57 AM |
One NEVER becomes successful without first being UNsuccessful.
This is not true, every project i have undertaken has always worked due to planning.
HOWEVER when it comes to people not everything is "level playing field".... | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:48:37 AM |
You ever had just "Read" yet no response, that's just about like a Read/Deleted. Do these women think we're going to be a backup guy or something. F that!
Yep, ever message i have ever sent infact.... (most are unread/delete) so i got the message, i never send messages anymore...
Now whats interesting here is "cause and effect" which seems to be denied by all women making men bad as its "our fualt", sorry, "cause and effect" still apply, way to many are not doing this "causing" men to turn bad.... if you dont like it, tell the rest of your female friends to start acting politly.
However i already got the message (face doesnt fit) so stopped asking.... i was getting very tied of "your find someone" when they really mean "i dont like you, no one else will but i'll just leave you with hope and pray you dont talk to me anymore and think i'm nice", gave it 10 years, doors closed, got me answer :) | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:53:38 AM |
I dont feel like giving up... I already have given up... modern women are simply players, even the nice ones... okay, I haven't quite got round to locking the door and throwing away the key yet but pletty close to it. I know some women are going to claim they are not players but the fact is modern 'liberated' women have crossed the line between the genders, virtually making relationships pointless. The only way is to become a player too and play the women at their own game, which they seem to fall for very readily, but that's not my way, I live by my high moral code in a world without morals so I stand no chance. Every woman I have ever met has either lied to me, cheated on me, taken me for a ride or done all three. In the words of the band YES.. owner of a lonely heart, better than an owner of a broken heart... women aren't worth the heartache... sad but true...
 how true this is, and you know whats funny, "women like a real man" you mean just like you, with a moral code, yet to see that one proved.
As ive always said about everything in life, never play to win, play to draw, this way your always win, works for EVEYRTHING, even politics, so playing people at there own game is the way to win, however i dont agree doing it as i have standards which was how i was brought up, how wrong that was... i now see why it played out like it did at school, i was playing the wrong game, and oddly i was the only one who didnt know...... and once i started telling people guess what "it was my fualt".... humm, nice rules the UK have here.... | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:09:06 PM | Yea I am that way now
infact when I come on this site I dont even open my mail box I no what will be there nothing
I mean I dont feel like a nothing dont get me rong but after a year and a half of trying too find someone, on a dating site or other wise I guess it is time to just give up
so now when ever the urge suit's me I will open a forum and write a poem or a quote maybe you should try it . It's not like having a women but at that I feel that someone is atleast reading something I wrote
and maybe even making them happy in some odd way
if you care too check them out under
poem's about life
quote's and poems and my own thread I just started today
living alone
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/1/2009 3:09:37 PM | OP,
Dating can be a frustrating thing to deal with. In relaity you have to take dating with a grain of salt and just soak it up to when its right it will happen. I can tell you this from personal experience of being married at 22 and having a few serious relationships. I found myself like you, shutting everyone out and just giving up.
In relaity the experience you go through good or bad, are meant for you to experience to whatever reason that may take time to reveal itself. I'll give you an ex. I dated this girl for a 1.5 and one of her friends after about 2 months of us dating met met one of my friends and they hit off ever since and probabaly get engaged and married in the long term future. After 1.5yr me and the g/f split for several reasons, which I'm not going to emntion. The point is that if myself and ex g/f had never met which was online, my friend would have never met his soulmate. Everything happens for reasons, when its meant to happen it will. But by shutting the door , your not allowing for it to happen.
Just my 2 cents | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/1/2009 3:40:58 PM | Cheers!!! It is free,fun, safe. I like to chat and state my opinion. If women do not like, big deal. LOL. Since this free, I seriously doubt I will meet the women of my dreams, but I can more friends. You can not beat that.
Chris  | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/1/2009 5:18:05 PM | Well, okay, no one's really responded to me, either. Frankly, though, I'm not all too worried about it. Someone will come along one day and read my profile and think that I'm someone that they might like to meet for coffee and a leisurely chat.
I don't know why I'm not getting a million "hits" and perhaps that's a good thing in it's own way. I'm spending this time learning about myself. And learning to enjoy the person I've become in the past two years.
I like myself and have a lot of confidence. I enjoy people and love to just sit and talk. If I'm alone, I'm alone with my cats and a great book. Or a great movie. None of it is wasted time. I know how to entertain myself.
So, in answer to this question, no. I personally don't feel like giving up. Even should no one in a million years contact me, I will still enjoy life because life is good and I know how to enjoy my own company.
Sure, keep on the site and check it once a week or so. In the meantime do something for yourself. Take a class. Read a book on a topic you might not otherwise explore. Begin to look at a hobby of some sort. Learn to play a musical instrument. The ideas and opportunities for expanding your personal horizons are limitless.
Best of luck to you, all.
Joiey | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:17:53 PM | HI MSG:261
YOU ARE RIGHT, I DID NOT MEEN, TOO COME OFF SOUNDING LIKE I JUST DINT EVEN HAVE A LIFE!.
MAN IF A PERSON REALY KNEW, WHAT AND HOW MANY THING'S I GO THRU IN WEEK'S TIME. IT WOULD PROBLY SHOCK THEM
I KNAP FLINT
I CARVE STICKS
JUST TOO MENTION A COUPLE
I DO ENJOY MY LIFE A LOT.
AND LIKE YOU, SHOULD I NEVER DATE OR MARRY AGAIN.
I AM HAPPY!
I WOULD JUST LIKE IT BETTER,IF I HAD SOMEONE TO SHARE IT WITH!.
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/1/2009 10:42:54 PM | | I'd like to say never give up never surrender but ya know...nah not with this one i'm in the boat of gave up and moved on section. I know I know...don't bother looking at my profile its old and outdated I don't really come on here all to much anymore, but I haven't been in much else then a one date thing in over 8 years now and the only relationship I had way back then was only 8 months long. I have my reasons but I chose the path of being by myself and I am perfectly happy with that path, all my friends say that I should find someone, they all say I should get laid, they all say this and that about relationships but I keep telling them its not for me. They are all in relationships every one of them, hell I think in the next four to five years i'm going to be going to 5 weddings lol! Its all fine and dandy that my friends are all in happy long lasting relationships but you know what I myself have no intention on ever finding "the one" or even just a woman to go out with for that matter I am the type of guy who is happy alone you all can say that i'm full of crock or am just spewing out nonsense but for me its true. I mean its my life let me live it the way I want right? | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:29:31 AM | | i can relate with this myself. i went a good 5 years without anyone in my life. i gave up then finally someone had shown interest in me. i hooked up with her even though she was way below my usual standards. but i figured if i look the way i do why should my standards be so high. i was with her for 4 years. even got engaged. it obviously didn't work. someone else came along a little over a year later and that only lasted a few months. now i'm on here sending messages and not getting many replies. the replies i have gotten only last a little while. i think it may all depend on how long you talk with them and how much you share before it's too much. there is a time limit and info limit that you don't want to exceed before exchanging numbers. and it does vary from person to person. it is hard to tell. i have lost quite a few women on here because it has gotten past that point. i won't give up though even though i do feel like doing so half the time. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/2/2009 6:43:31 AM | Well I say again that I am lonely but that dose not leave me alone
I dont have a lot of friend's but that is by choice
I can meet new people guy's or girl's and it always seem's to come out the same( hey can I borrow some money ) Yea like I said I realy do need that certain person in my life but it dosent mean that they have to be there.I have plenty of absticle's in my life.
some good some not so good and even some that are down right bad .But the only thing I would have to change is my smile I ware denture's lol.
All of you can say that you are content with being alone but I dont beleave you ( why ) well you come on this site for the same reason I did too see if you could find someone to spend your day's with
Come on guy's and gal's we both know that' that is the trueth ( right )
I am lonely as heck that dosent meen that I will give up ( just meens that I havent met her yet ) I feel like it sometime's but it will never happen
If you are going too give up on being happy let's face you mite as well be dead.
NO OFFENCE INTENDED | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/2/2009 3:30:15 PM |
You ever had just "Read" yet no response, that's just about like a Read/Deleted. Do these women think we're going to be a backup guy or something.
I get that with just about every message I send and it's very disheartening. Getting rebuffed I can deal with. However, the problem with people only reading my message and not responding is it makes me feel like I'm not even worth responding to. If it happens once or twice, that might not be so bad, but because it's happening constantly, it's really making me question whether it's even worth trying anymore. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:04:29 PM | It is fun
and I have had the best time just reading and and writing poetry
I even took one that I wrote right here within this prgram and put the words to music
Guitar and drums
I changed the title too!.
CANT YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU
I think you can find the origenal poem under
poems about life.
if not try daily Quote's and poem,s or something like that
I foget it's somewhere in this program | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/4/2009 3:25:47 PM | Seriously like the guy above me said... don't expect anything and anything you gain will be good in itself.
OP--- why would you put so much importance on internet dating? It's not really dating.. it's just profile viewing and messaging.
Check it out...
You send a woman a message saying whatever...
She reads it... and decided "not interested"...
You shut down...
Do you really expect women to say "well I don't like him or want him, so I'll just tell him I do to make him feel better"...?
Just as YOU have denied someone I think it's only right to expect YOU to be rejected simply because you will not please everyone...
Read/deleted messages mean they're not interested... what's SO bad about that?
People don't have to like you... or be attracted to you... get over it...
What MIGHT work... and I say MIGHT because you never know... is this:
Look for someone in your regular day to day life... at least THEN whoever you're talking to will KNOW you're not some rapist on the other side of the screen...
=D | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:27:15 AM | | ive given up if u cant meet someone one a site like this then u must have something wrong with ya like me i put pics up had a big profile and nothing few emails then they would just stop im going to die alone the sooner i except this the better | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/5/2009 11:45:15 AM | Hello,
I am solely on this site because a friend of mines apparently met her fiancee on here, said it would be something good for me to try. Apart from that, i literally have given up on the belief that relationships are meant to work. For some that's the case, as for others like me, i feel like i am doomed to repeat the same repetitive cycle of one failed relationship after another. But like it says on my profile, i still feel like theres that part of me that doesnt want to give up hope and still run in this rate race of a circle called dating.
I guess i will leave this profile open, but in terms of getting any sort of hope up, its like quite honestly why bother. I dont really believe in the "one" persay. But i am also finding it very hard to continue my life alone. Its like the biggest catch 22 i there is. Its like something you dont want to buy into, but it also seems like you cant get enough of it.
Thats just me i guess
Joseph | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:26:43 PM | I feel the same. I tried to delete my old forum posts. I can't even get a reply in my broken hearts message, and really could have used someone to talk to. I am now searching for a way to delete my profile. I've been here for months, tried multiple profile approaches, and have messaged a lot of local Jacksonville people. I dont care if I stay single the rest of my life anymore. Love will bring nothing but pain anyway.  | |
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