| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/6/2009 5:28:26 AM | | Yes I can relate as I also feel the same way. Every time i log on and see no results from sending a message to someone. I have rewritten my profile so many times to try to make myself look appealing and still nothing so yes why try? I will say this tho GOOD LUCK because that is all it is and a little fate. people want you to sell your self in a profile without meeting the real person that way they dont have to take the chance of it maybe not being the 1. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:43:31 AM | | I can relate...right now, I am taking me time to collecting my thoughts. its okay, to hide your profile and take breaks when needed, I am sure most of us do this, after all, were only human. it can be frustrating at times, but if anything, i have learnt alot about myself and as to what i am looking for in my future partner. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 8:12:29 AM | I understand completely. I get so frustrated logging in and seeing no messages. But then I think about it and realize that I'm located in a rural area and there aren't alot of singles in it on this or many other sites.
I also know that if I could give up smoking, that would increase my chances a whole lot.
I've had a profile here before and I got discouraged and deleted it, but really, that's kind of a stupid thing to do because there is no harm in having a profile here and if I don't get tons of emails on a daily basis, I don't care. All it takes is one person, and if I delete myself off of here, that one person won't find me now will he. Not online anyway
When I find myself on this computer getting flustered at this site, it's best for me to shut the damned thing off and leash up the dogs and go for a walk, or putter in my garden because in the whole grand scheme of life this is nothing but a diversion. When I feel myself getting emotional about it, it's time to walk away for a bit. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 11:39:19 AM | My sentiments exactly,I do not know what it is but this is happening to a real lot of people,it has given me a few ideas about how a dating site could be made to be more user friendly and therefore more satisfying for its members...I drive a Mercedes Benz,have a very large house but these posessions are useless without some love in your life,but if I were to put up a picture on my profile of me and these posessions I am pretty sure I would see an increase in mail,albeit from the wrong type of female,such is the shallow nature of some women.I am going to start venturing out a lot more,I have never had any trouble meeting girls so I think I will have to go down that route again.
I do sympathise with you Op..either keep trying on here or put your boots on and get out there! | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 3:07:54 PM | Often times I'll read someone's comment on a post and think it was good or in some way interesting enough to just see what that person has on their profile. And what do you know ... when I'd like to just say Hi and chat about their comment they have their profiles block to people only within a certian range which won't allow a message to go through.
So, if you'd like to get some mail instead of no mail, maybe open up your range! | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 5:18:34 PM | | I beleive giving up is all I can do, I dated a man for 9 months and the day that we would od been dating 9 month he decided to go his seperate way, I have know idea why, he did not even say anything,I heard from him at 9.30am we talked as usually planned to see each other the next day, he said he loved me and I have not heard from him since. I though he was dead or something like that and I worried, just to find out days later, he was alive and well. So I have know reason why there were nothing. I am so board with my life I get on these forums just to have something to do, because I can not find a light at the end of this tunnel. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:07:29 PM | Meyanna, I don't know what advise to give you to make you feel better, I wish I had the words, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry that happened but it did.
The way he did it was pretty cruel and is that the kind of person you'd want to spend a lot of time on anyway? | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:11:28 PM | I'm not giving up on dating persay, but I have changed my profiles to reflect that I am no longer going about it via the webbernet. I've had a lot of luck with emails, dates and getting to know people, but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.
I think I am going to take a break and go back to the more traditional means of meeting people in pubs and or while out and about. I really believe it's less "work," less BS, and less games. But, that's MY opinion solely.
I'm sticking around for the message boards, but by and large I'm going to do my fishing local - face to face. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:28:59 PM | I'll never give up - even if I'm 100 years old and in a wheelchair at the old folks home. I'll still be an optimist about meeting that special woman for me.
It's certainly not easy - the women seem to have the odds in their favor and they tend to be choosy, but such is life - in the real world and in cyberspace.
Why do we guys keep at it when the odds are against us and we keep getting kicked in the teeth? Like the old saying goes...."It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."
So I'll take the time to write a thoughtful profile and patiently watch my messages ignored or deleted. Just another day in the continuation of the mating ritual between the sexes - a story as old as the Garden of Eden. Yep. | |
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McDanl
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Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 286 | |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/8/2009 8:05:17 PM | | i do.. I'm not an unattractive male and i feel i have something to offer.. and ive tried so many of these sites and have been dissapointed.. everytime.. but i take breaks and sign on again after i get past the bad feeling. I think in order to be successful you first have to be kind of an optimistic person, because you may get rejected or passed over a lot and its hard sometimes. As some of us can tell, I think some view these sites as no more than recreational activities. Some are truly serious but others have no intention of meeting outside the site itself. I'm a "new" member here however, and I liked the feature that test your seriousness. There are a couple of interesting test you can take to show others your sincerity. Well it seems like it may be a good thing for me anyway. I'll see what happens. But however it turns out i can be happy outside the site whether i attract anyone or not .. i was happy before i did this and i'll still be the same afterwards. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/15/2009 11:05:44 AM | I was 100% honest, Showed my real pic, wrote 100's of women, only a few replies of interest and even then, 1 was a lunatic, and the other was a man pretending to be a woman!!!
I'm either the WRONG COLOR, live too far away, or dont go to church. Well here's the scoop, The highest rate of spousal abuse is among women dating men of other races, bet you women didn't know or care about that one did you?
I was married 13 years. Can many of you Bit**** top that!!!!!!!
I guess it is time to go back to asking more women out in public for dates, but I was hoping to find more online, cause I'd heard so much BULL SH** about how successful online dating was.
I guess it is who or WHAT you are. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:54:14 PM | | I've given up. There was some interest, and then no replies when I reply, and now no interest at all. I've met a few people, they've all gone silent after the meeting even though things seemed great and they hug/kiss at the end of the date without me initiating it. At least I gave it a shot, but I guess I'm meant to be single. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:04:20 PM | | Well, he isn't for you and you should be glad that you found out what he was really like before you married him. He obviously enjoys being a jerk and leading woman on as that gives him an ego boost. I bet down deep he is very insecure. There are a few older men that I've ran across like that. I would cut those strings as soon as possible since you know what type he is, and you know he isn't a keeper. | |
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mtw24
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Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 290 | |
| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:21:44 AM |
I do sometimes. I sometimes go thorugh phases where I just completely shut the door on it all 100% and just accept it and move on.
Right now I'm feeling like that again, I feel like just closing down all my profiles on dating sites and just not even bother talking to women online at all.
Can anyone relate?
Yes i can relate to this i have try offline in a pub or club and online all i get is no reply or i am not interested. This is from my local area which has few city and towns other wise known West midlands. Which i have given up on now. Then start looking further way
This strange part outside this area on one site i had a lot people emailing me from Yorkshire, Wales, Essex, Sussex which is annoying as they are far way. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:09:54 AM | | I HAVE already "given up". And, oddly enough, I seem to have ladies falling in love with me left and right! Puts me in the driver's seat of being in a position to choose, which is nice...if only I wanted them...kinda burnt out... | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/11/2009 10:53:41 PM | Unsuccessful? Guess it's all about how you define success.
"Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal or dream"
After the last heart-broken dating disaster, I had to look in a mirror and figure out what it was that * I * was doing wrong. To be successful at my next attempt, I had some stuff I had to address with myself. Boost the self confidence a bit. Be a little more patient. I can identify red flags a mile away, but I was kinda clingy and desperate and I chose to ignore them. Ugh...pathetic, I know.
I've made a few changes and things are progressing along nicely so far. I've been the one doing the asking, and I've gone out on a few dates. They were not 100% what I was looking for and, because I've been working on ME and my self confidence, I didn't feel like it was a complete failure. They were good people...just not what I want right now. One of them is still a good friend to go to sushi with, so I consider that a win.
It's all in how you look at success. If you are not getting the dates, ask yourself what *YOU* need to improve on. Make a plan to improve yourself, and measure your success that way first.
My two cents (well, maybe three)
Paul ;) | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:43:04 AM | Hi, Paul
This is my second attempt at online dating. I've only been at it for about one month and I've met three men in person. All of them talked to me constantly until I met them, then they stopped answering. I've asked each one of them to help me understand what it is that made them stop talking to me and none will answer.
So my question to you is how to I identify what I need to "fix" about myself if no one will tell me? The crazy thing is none of the three were 100% of what I'm looking for, but I was willing to get to know them better. I believe in falling in love, not love at first sight.
Anyway if you got a couple more cents to spare, I'm willing to listen.
Elizebeth | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:44:20 AM | It's not going to happen just like THAT *snap*
Finding someone takes time, unless of course you're only looking for sex or something.
Giving up just because you're 'search' is unsuccessful is actually a pretty lame excuse.
It's like saying you want to kill yourself because you're too lazy to exercise to lose weight.
(JUST AN EXAMPLE! I know people who actually feel that way though.) | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:50:57 AM | Liz, this is going to sound cold............but I say "their loss". This online experience is new for me, but I am discovering that after listening to stories that there are people that don't even look at a "meeting" as a possible new friend. Some people are obvious about "not being that into you" that they become rude. Not worth your time then.
Your new favorite word should become "NEXT" LOL. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 9/14/2009 2:25:18 PM | Well... I’ve spent some time thinking about how to keep myself motivated and here are a few things I’ve found work for me  – none of them work all the time, but almost always, at least one of them will:
- Music. I’ve found that music can radically change my mood, so I have compiled a “Happy” playlist and a “Workout” playlist – for use when…. well that’s obvious
- Caffeine a few shot of homemade espresso. Everyone uses caffeine when they’re tired, But what most people probably don’t know is that it also makes you feel happier by increasing dopamine levels
- Motivational quotes. I like to keep track of quotes that really speak to me and give me a different perspective. “Success isn’t getting up and working on the days you feel like it. It’s getting up and working on the days you don’t feel like it.”
Hope it works for those who really needed some enlightenment( like myself)
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