| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/9/2009 4:00:29 PM | Sure, it is a common dilemna. Many people can relate to the frustration that comes from wanting to be in a serious committed relatinship but being unable to find the one that makes their heart sing, skip to an invisbile band and feel more alive. Hang in there!Keep  the right  will come. We are all meant to love and be loved! | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/9/2009 4:37:34 PM | I feel like giving up from time to time...and have for brief periods...but in the end I'm still looking.
What's difficult for me is finding the right women. I've found I like specific qualities in a woman and when those don't exist, it's hard for me to develop deep attraction. I don't think a connection at the levels I seek can be forced - it's either there or it's not. I have been far more successful in the past with those I have had that connection with than those I haven't.
What I have found though is that those types of connections do come around from time to time and I keep the faith by waiting patiently for them. When they come about, I feel alive in a way that I don't otherwise feel. When I feel like giving up, I go back in my mind to that feeling and it invigorates me to keep up the chase. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:40:43 PM | | sure can i had waht i thought was the greatest boyfriend for seven months gave me no indication he was not into me , then out of the clear blue he doesn't want to hurt me , well he did ,,,, i see him weekly because of a social obligation which soon i can change he continues to flirt and encourage me it is so hard to not continue these feelings of missing him , and oh yeah he has a girlfriend but he will deny he has a girlfriend , what i fell in love with is i think is a jerk , can't get the fool out of my mind , and do you thinki i have jmet anyone decent since guess jnot , i feel i am doomed to want someone who continues to tease me and i just want to tell him off , although when i get down to it i just can't be mad face to face i feel like a tremndous fool , | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/10/2009 8:23:49 AM | OP@  cause you need it. I can relate what your going thru but as for myself, I do take breaks in order to collect myself, to trying again...theres only so much one can take....lol. maybe, put your profile on hidden for now?
Some say I am too picky, not at all, I am just selective as to who comes into my life. its a matter of being on the same page in life as I am, wanting the same things to full filling our needs and thats not easy to find..like a needle in a haystack. I've created a lifestyle with being stable, and peaceful and I have alot to offer to another.
I'm no quitter, I will take breaks from time to time, but I will keep my options open....for I'll never know. I know I do carry my heart on my sleeve, I try not too but sometimes its really hard not too. I know, we all do to some degree to protect ourselves and thats okay too. My heart is mine to give and only a special person will be worthy of my heart, to cherish it til the end.... for its earned just like trust, and respect. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/10/2009 8:56:36 AM | | I know exactly how you feel, at times I feel like shutting down all my profiles on all the dating sights, as it seems that my profiles beeing suckish in a way. so far I had been serching for my one and only for the past 10 years. my profile is yawning I doubt it has ever been read. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:02:03 AM | I can relate to what your feeling,I have been on the site for awhile,and I have actually closed my profle 2 times.then I come back,maybe just for fun ,I don't know why.I have met some nice guys,but the problem is that Im still alone,so whats wrong with this picture.Why do the guys put long term,if thats not what they want? I see that they have options,so then use them.If ur not looking for long term then don't use long term use one of the other options.I go out on these dates and then nothing happens from them,either they want something else ? Ok I have read that yes some couples have actually stayed together and have gotten married ,but for some reason I'm just geting the impression that it's just one big game to alot of the men here.I really dont think that the men on this site know what exactly they know what it is they want or what they r looking for cause they have so much to choose from they dont want to except just one person.I will continue to se what happens cause I am not a club scene person ,so I will see if POF will be the one for me. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:08:58 PM | I agree ... but its always the genuine guys that suffer this, whats wrong with the women of our scociaty. they ask for real genuine guys but shun us when we answer the calling.
without a bye or leave.
its amazing that anyone could find anything close to a relationship. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/12/2009 6:08:11 AM | | YES OMG YES .. I have been on the site for 5 years . Two long term relationships and some nice friendships have developed . Since 2008 I noticed a decline of quality people on the sites . The males in particular. What ever happened to manners? Follow up and Follow through? Those days of being stood up and put off are looking again. The assumption of sex upon meeting is just that assumed. I don't have time for games and if I want to be intimate with you you'll know it! You don't need to read between the lines as far as my profile is concerned it's all there in black and white | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:05:24 AM | | Im not ready to give up just yet as relatively new to this site. I'm just a bit confused as to what some people are looking for. I've recently experienced the whole 'got the messages going to and fro' thing and then....long silence. Maybe some guys are just fickle and drop us like a hot potato when a new profile appears to wet their appetites. I'm not that shallow so I guess I'll never understand. I dont feel rejected and I'm not being all bunny boiler 'cause he hasn't contacted me. If the silence was due to some other commitment then a bit of common courtesy wouldn't have gone a miss. Just not picking up instant messages is a bit cowardly. It was a shame though 'cause I haven't found anyone who brings out that much humour in me since. It's all in the hands of the gods anyway...maybe Mr Right is in the supermarket somewhere....who knows. We just need to keep it real, be kind to ourselves and not take it personally. I send lots of loving light to him and hope he's ok. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:29:24 PM | I'm feeling very discouraged too..I have not been doing this for long, but I just
don't think it is the best way..I sent message's to 4 guys in last 2 days and never got any reply's...Iknow I'm older but still have alot of snap..in me... | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/13/2009 6:59:41 PM |
I just don't think it is the best way..I sent message's to 4 guys in last 2 days and never got any reply's
Only four? You've got nothing to complain about yet. Most guys on here are lucky to get one reply for every twenty e-mails. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/13/2009 11:26:27 PM | I can relate. I have been divorced for a year and a half, ( my exwife and I couldn't seem to find a common way to communicate about anything) and more often than not I feel like I will spend the rest of my life alone.
Not to get deep into why we got a divorce, but we could never find a way to actually talk about porblems that we had/ have, it always ended up in a shouting match. Now I'm not saying it was all her fault, because it wasn't, I did and said some pretty stupid stuff too. I learned to accept that I made mistakes and I was willing to take responcibility for them.
Anyway, Since then I can't seem to find anyone to even do simple things with, like go to the movies, or have lunch with! The two dates I have been on turned out bad due to the fact that the girls that I went out with couldn't even put their real age and information on their profiles ( they where not from this site) !! Now I can understand that I may not be someone that most people find attractive, some people have a problem with tattoos and piercings ( ya there are alot of tattoos, but I only have my ears pierced). I make it a point to take care of myself, I excercise regularly, try and eat right, manage stress the best I can, and really try to be a good person.
Maybe its where I live, or the fact that I haven't lived here long, or even that I don't do alot of the things that people do around here.
So ya I know how everyone feels, At least there is the forums to keep me occupied until a good woman comes along:) | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:23:07 AM | | man i hear that loud and clear i feel that way anytime a girl likes me it's like why try she'll find someone better and dump be i shouldn't even bother them with my bullshit i deserve to be alone because i didn't go to college and make something of myself | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 6:02:17 AM | Yes i feel like you, but since joining POF i feel more confident talking to women on here and outside. From what i've read on the forums women tend to wait for the guy to make the first move, not all women but over 80% do. That's the most frustrating part of online dating is that the guys are sending messages daily getting no replies and women are just sitting there opening messages reading them, deleting them then reading the next message in the line.
I'm sure women are reading the same messages over and over again with men asking the same questions, i'm sure they switch off after a while. So i normally start with something funny and try not to ask the obvious questions that other guys may have asked.
Mind you saying that i've still yet to receive a message from a woman first, the best advice i can give men/women is that if you want something bad you ain't going to get it by doing nothing and just sitting there waiting for it to come to you first, fight, be persistant and everything you want will eventually come to you. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 3:44:14 PM | I MUST be an optimist because I'm still here. I believe even the hottest chic walkin the earth right now who's single probably has the same thing happen too.
We all just have to hang in there and keep hope alive. He may be right around the corner...its just that the corner might be 50 miles away! | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:48:22 PM | I feel the same way. I have meet a few guys on here, but they only wanted sex. I was looking for a friend, an hopeing that it would turn to love, and all that goes with it. So yes I think I will should shut down my profile. I guess it 's not for me!!. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:10:57 PM | | Yes, I am tired of men showing interest and then after a few weeks of talking a lot, magically they find so many other people to talk to and things to do that there just isn't time for talking to me anymore. And it is always the men who are the most interesting to me. I feel like I must be doing something wrong, but WHAT? | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:18:32 PM | | Thank you soooo much for those words of wisdom. It does give hope. It IS a long, hard road, but I know it will be worth it. We must be very patient, not expect too much from any relationship in the beginning. Let it flow. Don't get ruffled over unimportant details. It is far too easy to expect more than another can give. Knowing and accepting that reality makes the search much easier. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/15/2009 10:08:36 AM | | I know how you feel, it seems to me that their are a lot of fake people out there on these online dating sites. Most have been married and divorced and seem be be looking for the same thing they got out of. We people in our 40's and 50's need to get over the looks thing. We need to look at what is in the heart because real love is hard to come by, most of the wemon on here are just looking for looks or money not for real love, so what they end up with is a hunk that is abusive a jerk or what ever so if that is what the ladies on this sight are looking for good luck to you, If you are looking for a real lasting love there are a lot of average guys out there that can show you more love than you will ever have. I understant that there has to be some attraction but get real beauty will fade but the love in ones heart will never if you work together to make a relationship last, it has to be like a first date everyday respect and love oneanother be honest with eachother. We all need love and there is a lot of love out there just waiting for all of us. | |
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| Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful?
Posted: 3/15/2009 1:44:52 PM | | Hey Gang, I just signed up forPOF about a week ago. I have the pleasure of reading this forum and decided to jump right in.After partial encouragement but mostly disappointing disillusioned remarks, about on-line dating .I think it's pretty soon to tell. I did get and respond to an e-mail. I've just turned 50 Feb.7th, had my 20 yr old daughter move from West Palm Beach Fl to Miss. Decided to quit smoking 2/21/09 and during all this put on 5lbs. Big deal you say... When filling in my profile I put under body type "a few extra pounds". My profile doesn't contain a picture.(do not know how to upload one, yet) My 1st email wanted to know exactly what I mean by afew extra lbs. Perhaps I should have told him that "when I need to haul-ass, it'll take me 2 trips, or that" I have an interview to replace the big lady at Barnum&Baily". I didn't think it was that shallow at the time. After reading from this forum, I can see that there likely will be a lot of guys trying to score some strange and think they deserve to only respond to trophy candidates. Thanks for the "heads up" in this Adventure. I haven't any illusions about finding Mr.Right. I will procede with much caution about this because of your experiences. Thanks | |
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