| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/8/2007 3:02:20 PM | At least some of us are upfront and honest about this and aren't looking for a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" good time.
Your not being honest here either. That is all you want. If you get into a relationship and you have kids whether it be his or hers. You have to understand that it is a package deal. You cant just blow off the kids. Some people have respect for their kids and their opinions. I for one would like to know how my kids will interact with the new guy. I dont think they should be in the picture after the first 2 or 3 dates but interacting with the kids have alot to do with it as well. We are all out there to make our lives as happy as possible. And yes that does include the kids view as well. And as far as the father is concerned there is no need for any man to butt into that. That should be a decision that the mother makes when it comes to their kids or visa versa. Yes the guy should be there to support her and her decision but its not his rsponsibility to deal with the ex. It is obvious that you are not a father or a father that is a deadbeat. Who wouldnt want to have the best for there kids. If a step father does a better job then the real father then so be it. That just shows who is the real dad here. Like the one guy said it takes only the sperm to be a father but it takes a good man to be a DAD. | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/13/2007 3:10:54 PM | i have dated older men with children and to me its absolutely no problem whatsoever. im not shallow as to judge someone if they have children from previous relationships, no one should judge anyone. i have children to the same dad and i have been asked out more since i have had the children than i was before i had them because they have added to my life and i am a lot happier and more confident than i ever was. i have seen a lot of single mums meeting decent guys and ending up married and settled down happy so yes its possible, but be careful and ensure you meet the right type of guys.
im really choosy so i dont go out with just anyone but if i did, he would have to accept and welcome us as a package, whether we ended up in a relationship or a friendship, guys who run a mile when they hear you have kids are really not worth it and they are obviously quite immature themselves so just go with what makes you happy. A lot of women have successful happy relationships with decent men after having children, my ex still tries to pursue me and woo me back but i am happier in myself than i've ever been so unwilling to make the same mistakes again. It doesnt matter what age you are, the right person will come along when you're not looking, be honest and tell them you have children, if they back off then theyre not worth it, celebrate that you havent got involved with someone like that, and dont even entertain them, i wouldnt, save yourself for someone good enough for you and your kids, and enjoy! | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:18:24 AM |
Do men really mind dating women with children??
I can't speak for all, but yes, I really do mind. A lot.
I dated a woman with a kid once. Don't need a repeat.
Are all woman with kids that same? Probably not. But who cares, when there are women in the world WITHOUT kids?
Why date a woman with kids if there are still women without them? | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:12:17 AM | | As I've mentioned elsewhere, it really depends on the circumstances and the person. In general, I'd prefer dating someone without children living with them, but it isn't a deal breaker unless the kid(s) are fairly young (been there, done that) or there are more than 2 (my personal coping limit). | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/17/2007 3:43:46 PM | I married a woman with a toddler, two years old, she was upfront about her kid. I accepted the fact that she had a kid from a previouse marrage, I'm the only dad he's ever known. My advise is to tell them that you do have children. be open about it. After we got married, I adopted him. That was 23 years ago.  | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/17/2007 4:02:13 PM | Yes many do mind...and all I can say is that's their choice and they wouldn't be for me anyway...plenty of guys out there that do not mind and they will be the lucky guys to snap up a great loving girl with a few extras !!
I think some guys are thinking of the worse case scenario...thinking the kids run around screaming...being bratty and with no manners or respect...well this lil chicky here teaches her children to use manners...respect others...share and love one another...that is why I am complimented time after time that my children are so well mannered...well behaved...in school...at shops...everywhere !!!
To the guys who don't mind...good stuff !!  | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:14:37 PM | Hey Vixn000
I can only speak for myself. I was a single father with custody of my daughters for almost 9 years. I understand what it takes to do the job of a single parent. For me dating a woman with children is not an issue. The age of the children, since i am no longer a srping chicken anymore, does matter to me. I would prefer that the children are 10 or older. This is not etched in stone, it's more a guideline. Kids are an awesome gift to us , and for us. Being a single parent I didn't want my girls to see women coming and going in my life. I felt it would give them the wrong image of how women or men should be. I never ask a woman I am with that has kids to meet her kids. I will inquire about them and ask how they are from time to time. I understand that they are important in her life, as they should be. If and when she feels comfortable introducing me to them is her decision. I will never rush that issue. When that time comes I have learned that I get to see the kind of woman she really is. Our children speak volumes about the kind of people we are. A woman with children cant hide her true self. Her children will always give her away. No matter how she has presented herself, her kids tell the real story. And it is usually a very good story that they tell us without ever speaking a word.
In your case Ms Vixn00. Two children under 5 years of age would be tough for me to consider at this point in my life. I can not say that I would be rushing to take you out. I have been there and done that already in my life. It is alot of work, and I am not sure I would want to do it again. Ten years ago that would not have been an issue for me. It takes a special kind of person to take on that responsibility. There are those of us out there that it doesnt scare. It just takes being in the right place at the right time to meet that special person. Dont be doscouraged or let down by the lackluster men that you have been unlucky enough to be with. look a bit harder, listen a bit closer, and choose more carefully.
Best of luck.
Dave | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/21/2007 6:05:31 PM | Yes, there are definitely men who do mind dating women who have children. And as a single parent with two young boys, I respect their opinion.
What those men fail to see is the woman standing behind those two charismatic, athletic, sociable, lovable boys. A woman who already has the house, the cars, the dog, the white picket fence, and a six-figure salary. A woman who can bring home the bacon - and fry it up in the pan. Yes, a woman who can cook and maintain her household. A woman whose life is so complete - but for that special someone to compliment her life, not complicate it. A woman not awaiting hand-outs, or a hand-up. But rather, a woman awaiting a man who can contribute equally to all she already has.
So - to those men who only see the baggage at that woman's side, I suggest you make an attempt to take a closer look. That woman may actually be the "complete package" you've been looking for. Yes, complete with matching baggage that can only enhance the trip of a possible lifetime... | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/21/2007 8:05:06 PM | | The kids are the most important thing in ANY parents lives,if they don't except the fact you have kids they shouldn't be there.Kids are alot smarter then we give them credit for,if the parent is in an uncomfortable situation,the kids will feel this.I have no problem dating woman with kids at all. | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/21/2007 8:37:31 PM | | vixn, There's nothing more than children being a part of the bigger picture ...and setting the right example to them that makes me sit up and take note of a woman who may already have a few to add to our mix. How she deals w/ me ...and might allow me to deal w/her own only adds an additional richness to our relationship. There's nothing more important than steering children in the right direction and that includes conceiving and bearing them to birth. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 137 | |
| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:10:58 PM | | Personally I don't, there is more to think about with the logistics of dating and a persons time due to their responsibilities, though personally I find mothers generally more rounded people as they spend their time thinking about others. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 138 | |
| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:48:27 AM |
It seems like they stay around long enough to see if they can get in my pants and upon finding out that I am not easy, decide to make there get away .
Since the subject is dating, perhaps you should be more accommodating. After all, it is not like you are giving up your virginity so what have you got to lose? | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:03:59 AM | | I don't mind to date women with children, it allows me to be more comfortable. I'm a big kid at heart and so doing things with a lady and her kids can be fun. The only problem is for a guy to remember that he is not the child's father, your dating the mom, try not to fall in love with the kids and accept them as yours before you've fallen for their mom. | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 7/12/2007 11:33:00 AM | Some of us women are only parents... my son's dad died.... Does that make him baggage? I think as a responsible mom I must protect my son's emotional well being at all times. I got married.. waited to have children... have one son... and no intention of divorce. I refuse to bring a man that I'm just dating into my son's life unless I am sure it will be a long term situation. My son doesn't need to see me dating. I am honest with him about going on dates... but he doesn't meet them... I have yet to introduce my son to a man that I was dating. I feel that he doesn't need to know yet... he's 12. He lost his dad... I don't have the right to allow him to get attached to a man that I'm just dating. I'm not looking for a baby daddy... My son has postive male role models in place.... my brothers.
I made the decision to have a child... My husband didn't choose to die... Some of the men in this post make it seem that single mom's didn't think about the consequences of having sex.... I think to make general statements and make blanket decisions about dating a woman with children that men must consider the circumstances around why she's dating. | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 7/12/2007 12:07:17 PM | | I am not really at a point in my life when I'm ready to take on kids, as I haven't had any of my own. I would consider it, but it would be foolish for me to assume that it doesn't change some things, and I have met women with kids, and their attitude just doesn't gel with me. To be honest, they are more like drinking partners, or want me for booty calls, and that's not me. | |
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| Do men really mind dating women with children??
Posted: 12/21/2007 11:47:46 AM |
That is a lot to bring into any relationship. I sometimes feel that women seem to take for granted that asking a guy into this situation is less than ideal. There is an expectation on women's part to just assume that "He knows I have kids and he has to accept the limits". While that is true and most guys would for the right woman I think its only fair that women need to know this requires some sacrifice on a guys part and be willing to consider a man's feelings about certain issues that are going to come up.
Yes it does require some sacrifice on the part of guys in begining a relationship with a woman with a Kid/s but also a sacrifice on the part of a woman in that if she is going to enter into a relationship with a guy she has to be willing to make alone time for her relationship ie organising a babysitter at times as alone time is crucial in a relationship.
I dated a girl once who wasnt willing to let her 5 year old stay at her Biologial dads house, or her mothers or any babysitter as her daughter didnt want too, but her daughter very raley wanted to do anything ie going to school, g0ing to the store etc ... hence the relationship failed as we got zero alone time together as she wasnt willing to make a sacrife at all for our relationship.
I rememeber being a kid and my mam and dad would like to have an evening together once a week and my mam and dad would have me babysat by either my granda/gran or a babysitter...hell I didnt like it but it was a good lesson for me as a kid to learn that I couldnt always have what i wanted and now understand it was very important for my parents to have alone time together.
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