| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:24:32 PM | So I go to work and all day long my boss is telling me to do this and do that. Then I have to listen to him tell me that if I want this to work I need to change this and change that. My boss dictates to some degree how I live my life, I have to perform in a certain way and act in a certain way to get my job done, going by the rules that he lays down as well as the rules of society. This way I can get paid and go do what I want to do.
Now you expect me to go home in my off hours and have a woman do the same thing to me? Not going to happen, I am who I am, accept me or I will change YOU!! | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:15:35 PM | I think....that anyone who is out to change a person within the relationship is not contenct with who they are as a person.
Take a long hard look in the mirror before you point the finger....girls...
Women do not change a MAN....little girls do! | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:29:15 PM | | I I ever do make a mistake, I will be sure to learn from it. If anything else about me could be improved, I would be glad to improve it. So far there is no need to do anything but marvel at my perfection. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:29:59 PM | Very good ridder........
We change ourselves, others can not change us.........they can show by example and let you know what they desire, but the change must come from within.....
If you are not happy with the way things are, talk about it, find out why YOU are the way you are, and want things your way, and see who really has the problem and why. If you can not accept what is, then move on to what you need so much.
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 4:54:07 AM | | I have seen examples of that many times,I personally wouldnt want to change someone or want them to change me. if someone is going to change they will do it because they want to If I wanted to be with someone it would be because I liked/loved them for the person they are,as for sexual atraction/lust of course I would want to be attracted to them but if thats all thats there I cant see that making for a long term relationship. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 5:23:55 AM | I'd like to think of it as "growth," rather than change. We all need to grow and become a better person. To resist growth is to stagnate in life. Our basic personalities are how God created us, but our deliberate actions that offend others or hurt others require that we confront our issues and change if the need to demonstrate greater love requires a different approach. If we look at life as a chance to truly love, then loving others will be our motivation. To me, the most hurtful thing one can do is to deliberately hurt and use another to one's selfish advantage. If one is like this, then caring isn't high on their list and change won't be something desired. Selfishness and love are opposites. To truly love others is to grow into a more wholesome, loving person to better serve another. To be self-motivated is to use another and to refuse to grow and change into a more giving person.
P.S. Do women really want to "change" a man, or do we want to encourage them to learn to love us more, so that we can both reach the pinacle of true love. Sharing real love always requires both learning to give and change (grow) into a more caring person. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 5:50:59 AM | | I think you buy a relationship, you don't build one. The person has to already be what you are looking for. When I shop for a car, I don't buy a Honda with the intentions of changing it into a Beamer. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 7:13:00 AM | | i really don't understand why people even get involved with people they feel they need to change. if someone wants their partner to be different, then they should find someone who already has those qualities. i only know how to be me and i certainly don't expect someone else to be who they are not. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 1:17:50 PM | Ohhhhhh barrabylad NOT SOOOO MY GOOD MAN
Any good women is willing to take a chance to change something about herself for the better. If you are honest about what you may not like and it is a workable issue why wouldnt a women want to try? Women are all about growth in a relationship.. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/21/2007 1:34:25 PM |
Why do women date and eventually marry guys knowing how they are and then only AFTER they are married want to change those things they liked when they were dating? WTF!!!
I've noticed this too. Women often seem to end up hating a guy for the exact things that attracted her to him in the first place. I could never figure that out. I love when I hear women say "He suddenly got abusive", " He suddenly became a drug addict/alcoholic".... Or, on the flip side "He's just so boring" when she married him because he was a good provider and was always reliable.....
I think if you feel the need to change whoever you are with, you are with the wrong person. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:50:40 PM | Ex tried to change me into what would best be described as a Metrosexual who does yard work. I resisted. I always thought it was funny how she always "wanted a real man, and have the 50's style family" but yet when she had that, she then wanted a metro guy and complained when I did "manly" things (hunting, fixing our boat, construction around the house) and did not go shopping with her.
Basically, I wanted my GF/Fiancee to stay the same, just stay around longer. She wanted me to be "He-Man on Demand" and be her little metro shopping buddy the rest of the time.
Where it was said back a ways, women get married expecting to change their man to THEIR expectations, and guys want women to stay the same.
I can't recall any guy demanding his new bride change how she acts or does things, but every guy I know has had their wife pull the "you cant do that or do it that way anymore, WERE MARRIED NOW" to varying degrees. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:23:35 PM | I am constantly changing. I go to the gym to lose weight. I read to gain knowledge. I take classes and lessons to learn new skills.
But there is an important thing to note here -- I am changing for *me*. I am not changing just to impress someone or because somebody else says they want me to. If somebody doesn't accept me as I am, then they don't accept me at all and need to do us both a favor and go find someone else.
The last thing I want is a partner who is constantly telling me everything she thinks is wrong with me. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:30:26 PM |
Women want to change men - but do you ever sincerely want to join in on that adventure - seriously!?
I think any mature person would want to improve themselves, so I think the better question is this: Do women who want to change men sincerely want to have their man telling them over and over all the things he doesn't like about her and wants her to fix?
Just like my above post -- the only person who can change me is *me*, and the only person who should ever be able to change my future partner is herself. If I ever meet a woman who wants to mold herself into some Stepford Wife just to please me, then she'll see just how much smoke a guy's shoes can kick up when he runs in the opposite direction. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:12:21 AM | I personally think the women who love changing their men and jokingly think he will magically do it after you get married has some serious boundary issues within themselves. I would also think any man who allows that stuff to happen has the same problem, I guess you can call it a ying and yang problem, perfect match.
I too change because my "why" is strong enough. Lasting change comes from within not from outside. Change that is driven from outside will create resentments and anger.
A comedian Rita Rudner once said in an act I caught when she was in Vegas a few years ago said it perfectly, "that pie is baked, if you want to change the insides of the pie you will need to find another pie." Oh so true.
Both men and women just seem to forget that very simple fact. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:00:15 AM |
I've noticed this too. Women often seem to end up hating a guy for the exact things that attracted her to him in the first place. I could never figure that out. I love when I hear women say "He suddenly got abusive", " He suddenly became a drug addict/alcoholic".... Or, on the flip side "He's just so boring" when she married him because he was a good provider and was always reliable.....
I've been there, done that. The odd thing is that I was trying to improve myself, and one of my ex-girlfriends loathed the fact I was trying to reach another level. The converse of the a woman that feels a "need" to upgrade her guy. For her, it was a matter of control, and she was afraid of losing me because she didn't live up to what I wanted for myself . . . even if I didn't demand her to keep up, it scared her in more than one way. I remember going to college and completing my courses with flying colors, working overtime, and taking a semi-obscure Japanese martial art all the same time---she descended into addiction and her environment nearly fell to pieces around her, mostly her own instigation.
There's much I could write here, but I think that there's many things about me that I don't believe need "fixing," even things I find good or empowering. I have serious trouble with someone meddling with something I feel I brings enjoyment in my life. And when hen there is something I'd like to learn and grow with, either I encounter stonewalling or I discover that (woman in question) hasn't even bothered to develop herself or her world. I know women that are more active in computers or mechanics, for example, that I could learn a trick or two from, or I know that there exists women that could enrich my life personally and socially. Where are they? Just like asking men out on a date, very few feel impelled (if at all) to step up to the plate.
But back to the original quote---I personally won't change for someone that's either going to erode my personal sense of ethos, goal fulfillment, or happiness in life if it's only going to bring frustration and pain in the end. That's just stupid. If someone is demanding you change for them it's invariably never in your best interest and it's selfishness and control-mongering on their behalf . . . and the curious thing is that when many men change for women, those women gradually don't want them for what they expected them to conform to in the first place. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:22:39 AM | I only want to change when I want to change. However I sorta enjoy the game women play at trying to change me when they do, plus it means they have to play at letting me bust out tryin to change their shitty behaviors right back.
I've found that women though think they're never wrong.
I will admit honestly that the first girl I ever dated and the last I dated long term, was about 4 years ago, for about 3 and a half years, near the end I started thinking "maybe I should try and respect her a bit better, plus what's the point of being jealous? She hasn't cheated on you, why you gotta be a****to her all the time?" At that point I wanted to hunker down and not have to even think about dating anybody else.
About 2 months later, she left me for some guy she'd been seeing for about a week before I brought up that she felt kinda distant. I was like "you have got to be F*cking kidding me... you actually liked and respected me more when I was being a dildo..."
It was a serious mind f*ck. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:01:19 AM | If I get into a relationship again and the woman tries to pull this crap, yeah I'll change but not what she thinks. It'll be my shoes because the pair that I had on smelled like ass after booting hers to the curve.
Try and change me, you will lose. Want me to be something I'm not, you will lose. Try and control me, you will lose. It's as simple as that.
I don't play anymore. And I'm just as content and satisfied being alone and I could be in the right relationship. That will be made very clear upfront.
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:23:32 AM | Number one....why do women want to change men? You would think that whatever attracted them to you in the first place was enough. If it wasn't please move on...
That being said, all people change. That is life! Can be financially driven, family driven, health driven or something tramatic that happens close to you that makes a difference in where life takes you. But why would you want to force something to change.... and I am not talking about quitting smoking or something like getting more fit at the gym.... I would work on yourself and how you relate to others....otherwise you maybe looking for trouble. | |
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| Women want to change men - do men ever want to change?
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:29:41 AM | Number one....why do women want to change men?
Simple. Control, insecurity, and ego. That's what it really all boils down to.
If someone is trying to change you and you let them, then they control you and all aspects of your life.
All I have to say is screw that.
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