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| Older women-Younger men
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:19:53 PM | Personally, I prefer men around my age who have the stamina of an 18 year old and the control of a 40+ year old...
Being hit on by younger men is definitely flattering and sometimes a turn on, but the whole being old enough to be their mother stops me dead in my tracks...not to mention, my daughter doesn't like the competition! | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/18/2007 5:47:48 PM | Here's my take on the subject..... If you do not want mail from younger men you need to: #1 be more specific in your profile and #2 put a filter on the mail you are willing to accept. I have to tell you that being a woman in my 40's I am absolutly amazed at how many younger men do contact me (I now have a filter).... I have asked many of them why? I didn't understand what they would want with me honestly. What the response most times was that we were experienced, didn't play games, and were confident in who we are. I'll take that as a compliment (still not interested though, but appreciated the answers).
I personally have a rule... no one younger than my youngest brother (even at that, it's to young for me)..... It's not that I am anti-young guy, but let's put it this way.... yes, age is just a number, but what that number represents most times is life experience. For me, if a guy is that young we have nothing in common other than sex.... that would have been another lifetime ago for me.... been there done that, this is the year 2007, where AIDS is a fact of life..... | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/18/2007 7:06:07 PM | my oldest son is 22 and he is dating a 36 yo  lol, he has been attracted to older women for quite awhile partly because girls his age are just not at his maturity level. would i date a guy 14 yrs younger than me? i dont think so unless there was really something amazing about him. As far as the IMs from these young guys - from what i have seen on any dating site they are 100% cyber  | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/19/2007 1:22:59 AM | I would not write someone off just because they were younger than I was. There are some great young men out there and not all just want one thing. That is generalizing and not fair. Some men of all ages are just after one thing, it is not necessarily the young ones. Keep an open mind, why not date a younger guy. I hear they are rather spiffy and I hear that the sex is great as well. 
~Carrie | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/20/2007 9:19:36 AM |
Seems that I keep getting bombarded with mail from
guys way younger than me, with only one thing in mind.
Is it that the young guys think that a older woman is
despret to the point that she would do anything with
a young man, that is 22 yrs younger than she is?
Well, once you rule out that maybe it's a scam, then I say approach it like you would any other difference - take it on an individual level, but don't get involved if the difference feels to uncomfortable (assuming the guy's a legal adult, that is!).
I'm sure there are guys who think older women are hungry enough for love to be desperate, but remember you can always just say no...
Don't BE desperate - fill your life with good things - friends, activities, love...
On the other hand, older women have a lot of life experience, sometimes love experience, and we can be very comfortable with our bodies - we may know our needs and what makes us and a partner feel good on many levels.
So I say...if both people feel OK and it doesn't feel creepy in any way, go for it - life's too short to turn down a good thing.
Happy Trails!
~Boots~ | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/20/2007 4:05:05 PM | Here's an interesting article I came across: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3679116/
Older woman, younger man relationships
Women have more options than ever - including men!
Updated: 1:00 p.m. PT Dec 29, 2003
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. These pioneering couples are just the most visible December-May hookups of older women dating younger men.
Braving "robbing the cradle" jokes, almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men (defined as 10 or more years younger). According to a recent AARP poll, one-sixth of women in their 50s, in fact, prefer men in their 40s.
It's not what you think -- the stamina or "re-boot" ability of the younger male. The women like the flexibility and sense of adventure of their more spontaneous, younger companions, Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., a licensed family therapist in practice in Long Beach, Calif., and author of "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again", tells WebMD. For their part, the men like the sophistication and life success of their older mates, she explains. The much touted idea that women peak sexually in their 30s and men in their teens does not enter into it -- most of these couples are beyond both those age periods.
Other reasons behind this trend
According to Tessina, other reasons underlying this expansion of everyone's dating choices include:
Older women are looking better every day, thanks to creative medical advances and a gym on every corner.
Women are more likely to come back on the dating market because of divorce and a longer expected life span.
Not as many women are looking for the picket fence and two cars. Now companionship, travel, and fun are coming to the forefront.
Women may also want a man with a less-developed career who could follow her or take care of children, if that is a factor.
For their part, younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually.
But what about the notion that men are "hard-wired" to seek a smooth-faced, curvy receptacle for reproduction and thus are drawn to younger women? "Humans are relatively flexible species," Michael R. Cunningham, Ph.D., a psychologist in the department of communications at the University of Louisville, tells WebMD. "Factors other than biological can be attractive. You can override a lot of biology in pursuit of other goals."
Interestingly, Cunningham did an unpublished study of 60 women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, who were shown pictures of men aged to those decades. "The women," he says, "were more interested in men their own age or older."
As for the men, he says: "I guess it could be nice not to hang around a ditz with no knowledge of music or something like that."
Getting over the "shoulds"
"We have strong 'shoulds' on ways of partnering up," Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, explains to WebMD. "We are victims of inner-critic constrictedness. We think we should only weigh 120. We should marry people within two years of our age. We pathologize anything that isn't within those shoulds."
The key to making older women/younger man relationships work, Elliott says, is to match what she calls voltages. "Choose someone who is your voltage type -- has the same level of intensity about life. If the voltages are different, one becomes the pursuer and one the distancer. This can create pain."
Voltages are not a factor of age, she says.
"What you don't want," she explains, "is one partner wanting to go out, the other stay in; one willing to talk, the other wanting space (and silence to enjoy it)."
Dealing with the flak
Susan Winter is co-author, with Felicia Brings, of "Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance". She is 48 and has been in a relationship with a man 20 years younger since 1992. Before that, she hooked up with two men 16 years younger and another 20 years younger.
She works out a lot by her own admission (and judging by her track record in this department) and often meets partners at the gym, not the bars.
Winter tells WebMD that she and her co-author interviewed more than 200 couples for their book. Though hardly a scientific study, the research surfaced three myths such couples hear every time:
Myth No. 1 - "He will leave you for a younger woman." Winter says they did not find one younger man who did this, at least for a specific woman and because she was younger. "In some cases, the man wanted children," she says, "and the relationship fell apart because of that."
Myth No. 2 - "The woman was the seducer -- Mrs. Robinson." In all 200 cases, Winter says it was the man who initiated the contact.
Myth No. 3 -"It will never last." Winter said some of the couples they met had been together 25 year or more. The average length of the relationships was 13 years.
Pretty promising material out there
Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. "The boomers are lost sheep," she says. "All they can do to get a woman is dangle their Porsche keys." As you peel back the decades, though, the men get "cooler," she says. Guys in their 30s get her vote. "They grew up with AIDS, they are considerate. Such men (at least the ones interested in older women) are stable and mature. They don't want to be mothered. They want a woman who knows who she is."
Still, even Winter admits, this may not be for everyone. One columnist suggested that these men hie themselves back to the reproductive pool or else birth rates would sag.
"Saying this is just one more "should," Elliott says. "Why should a man worry about reproducing if he doesn't want to?"
Cunningham is slyer. "Men can reproduce until they die, almost," he says. "I can imagine an interesting older woman/younger man scenario where a man stays with an older woman until she dies, then takes a younger wife for the purpose of having children. This would be very adaptive, don't you think?"
WebMD content is provided to MSNBC by the editorial staff of WebMD. The MSNBC editorial staff does not participate in the creation of WebMD content and is not responsible for WebMD content. Remember that editorial content is never a substitute for a visit to a health care professional. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/25/2007 3:57:22 PM | I haven't read through this whole thread as it's quite long. Didn't want to begin another thread as I know some members seem to get there underwear all twisted when someone doesn't do a search (in which I did) to see if there's a topic similar to what one wants to post about.
Typically I don't usually date guys to much younger than me. But recently I've been talking to a guy who is just 20 years old. I find him very intriguing and have enjoyed our conversations thusfar. We haven't met yet. He seems to have the maturity level of someone older and has goals in life and of course seems to have a decent job which is pretty good for his age in my opinion. He knows what he wants in a relationship at least from what he tells me.
I'll be 33 in just a couple of months, so I guess I would like to hear opinions of is there a too young (yes I know under 18 is too young)?
BTW, I want real opinions not that of some doctor from some site or anything else. I can handle straight forward opinions as well. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:58:01 PM | | You do know that you can set limits regarding who can make contact with you. That is an option in your mail settings then, only people within that age range can make first contact with you same as other requirements in the profile set-up. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 1/25/2007 8:10:20 PM | Shore66...you have dated guys 30 years younger.....tell me what do you have in common with them.....damn.....that's too much of an age difference for me......
You Go Girl...... | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 3/16/2007 7:22:43 AM | | My 2 cents....you never know how a gift is going to come packaged. I went out with a man 18 years my junior...it was to be my "transitional relationship". It lasted 7 years and was one of my great loves. Many younger men are old souls. Many have indicated that they prefer older women because they are more comfortable with who they are, have more self confidence....which they find quite sexy, are attractive and take care of themselves, and can actually have a conversation lasting more than 10 minutes........ | |
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| Older women-Younger men
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:37:46 PM | Never Sweet N Sassy
I just turned 71 and am loving it... feel sexier than ever in my life and am going for the gustoooooooooooooooo... | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:46:20 AM | Hi devilwoman...I too, have been getting lots of emails and Instant Messages from much younger men. It has been both a flattering and offensive experience. What I don't like is the young guys who start off their interaction with me with offensively personal sexual questions....I never let that get too far. HOwever, I find even OLDER guys and guys MY age are sometimes just after one thing too!
Take it as a compliment (at least generally speaking) and move on!
R.
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| Older women-Younger men
Posted: 3/18/2007 10:16:46 AM | Ok, I am SOOOOOOOOOOO curious! Does this younger man older woman thing really work? The men I have dated, have these HUGE tummys and think that I need to now all about their every operation and all the metal in their bodies, etc. Ewww, I am so tired of this! HWP full figured gal, I am great fun, not looking for sex, to start with, just want to have a time where I do not feel like I need to take forever care of this person if I should choose to date him. ARGH!! Also, men with diabetes is a sad thing because they can't do the wild thing any more. 
Ok, those of you who have done this dating ogf younger men, give me some pointers ok?!! | |
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| Older women-Younger men
Posted: 3/18/2007 10:26:36 AM | I think there is good and bad in every thing.
These younger guys are good for the ego and most everything else..
To many years difference to me don't really stand a chance for a long term relationship.
It's fun while it lasts, when i get e-mails from guys who could be young enough to be my grand-sons then that gets scary,
Depends on maturity, experience, what they want out of life, there are some pretty mature younger men out there with a real brain,,,, | |
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bat
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Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 165 | |
| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/5/2007 4:37:51 PM | | hi well im 21 years old im a guy. I just find older women more mature then girls my age so what if its just sex thats their thing ive had many relationships with older women and i love it. my longest relationship ive had so far has been with an older woman i was 18 she was 46, ok maybe it was the culture thats different but i dont think so some older women over here like younger guys but i guess i havnt found them yet but i'll keep searching for sure, its just i can be attracted to older women so much easier then i can a younger girl my age. An older womans body is so wow thats all i can say is wow because its just how it is i like it and have more pleasure with an older women then i do with girls my age. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/5/2007 5:19:56 PM | I dont really feel my age,but I am 46 and have the wisdom of a 46 year old. He would have to be an old soul, someone very special to me. Normally I prefer men my own age, because we seem to have more in common. Unfortunately alot of men my age are so set in their ways, and arent as willing to make compromises. I guess they have been thru so much and cant see themselves committing all over again.
Don't mean to generalize, sorry if you guys get offended. I do like men my own age, but wont rule out someone younger. Just not too much younger, my oldest son is 22. Can't imagine being with someone that age, just doesnt make sense to me at all. | |
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htarw
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Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 168 | |
| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:14:39 AM | | Hey, if you get along and have a blast, why let age stop you? I don't discriminate by age, but honestly, if i were looking for someone to start a family with, I would look for someone my age...yeah 25 and 45 seems cool now, but 10-15 years down the line, you'll REALLY notice the age difference! | |
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| Older women-Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:46:26 AM | | I see nothing wrong with oldeer woman dating younger men you can always learn something from somone with more experience! | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:51:16 AM | | I personally have no interest in a woman who is older, granny love isnt for me. There are too many women out there to have to settle. To each their own. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:58:28 AM |
I personally have no interest in a woman who is older, granny love isnt for me. There are too many women out there to have to settle.
Oh dear, Moony, it's going to seem like I'm picking on you today, but when you make such a statement, I just have to bite.
Not every man views "older" women as "settling". My partner is my own age (well, I'm 2 months older). He has no interest in dating younger women, although there is absolutely no question that he could attract them (my honey is a HUNK!)
He happens to prefer women at his own maturity level. Younger women simply can't hold his interest.
So, Moony, if younger women are the ones at your maturity level.......then stick with the twenty-somethings.  | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:05:11 AM | ^^^ I keep telling him that I don't wear no damn granny panties. I feel like I should put on a potato sack and hang a sign around my neck saying "will darn your socks for luvin" but then, I don't have a clue how to darn...so I'll have to come up with a better plan. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:22:47 AM | garden, so your saying you consider yourself mature?
congratulations on finding a man, I'm sure it was tough.
On topic: what is with you older women? can't a man disagree with you without your taking everything so personal? I would think someones preferences are their own and just because you don't agree does not make you right.
Time to change the depends I think, your getting crabby. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:28:35 AM | Hey Moonfish......
I am 49, by BF of almost 2 years is 36 and he adores my garter belts.....
Those depends have the velcro so you can't wear a gb at the same time......
Maturity in a man has less to do with age and more to do with upbringing, sensitivity and class. | |
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| Older Women and Younger men
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:30:21 AM | Congratulations on finding a man, I'm sure it was tough.
Woo hoo, Moony, them's fighting words! What, haven't you gotten laid lately?
I have. And it's happening again tonight.
Someone's preferences are indeed their own. I have absolutely no problem with your dating 20-year olds, or 80-year olds, or any woman who will have you. Happy fishing, Moony! 
p.s. who said I thought I was mature? | |
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