| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 11/15/2007 12:14:10 PM | IF..big IF..I meet a man and we both have that "chemistry" for each other..heck yes I will on a first date..at this point in my life I could care less what men/women think of my morals..God it is great being independent,confident & finally accepting me for who I am..I love sex..dont get it much but when I do..mmmhmm..spent half my life saying no because I was so concrned what he/she thought of me..well..not anymore..people going to judge and think what they want anyway:)..call me a whore,slut whatever label you care..because if your not f****** me or feeding me..your opinion of me just doesnt count lol..to old for those bs games anyway..life is short..enjoy it.. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:10:07 PM | Depends, Dolly. It just depends. The relationship experts say that couples who go into sex too quickly don't last as long. Those who wait tend to last longer.
SOOOooooo, what are your long term plans or goals? Is this guy a real, long term keeper? Or do you already see kinks in his armor that tell you that "this relationship ain't gonna last long" ? Or is having the BIG O, now, more important than a lasting relationship?
So if he/she's a keeper...make him/her wait...and let that person understand why.
If not a keeper....go have yourself a nekkid party! | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:02:46 PM | | Sex on the first date is not ok, for men or women. It screams cheap and easy to a lot of guys. consenting adults or not.... bad choice. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:45:32 AM | | I think most guys would think that you were a really "fun" date and may even continue to see you for some time after that. But at the some time the wiser of us would mark you as being way too easy, and would not seriously consider you as "relationship material". Not someone most guys would take home to meet their mother. In short, most women who hold out on this for a while will command a much greater respect from the kind of guys most women want to meet. A relationship needs to have a solid foundation of friendship first, and not be based solely on sex, such relationships are often doomed from the start, at least, that has been my experience. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/1/2008 2:08:09 PM | | I gotta say its nice to have especially when you least expect it. It was the first time i did on the beach however looking back if it lights fast it burns faster. I could write this entire book on my first experience with a bpd/bipolar beautiful woman however get to know them if there willing to do it with you that fast who else has been in those shoes..... | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/1/2008 8:24:16 PM | Oh my, I messed that one up real bad. I understand Dolly. Now I have been there and done it too.
I have met probably 20 guys on here. Most were nice but I never thought about having sex on any date with them. I am very careful, do not have sex even with people I have dated for months. Then when I least expected it, wow. We had chemistry like I have not felt in 30 years. It was so natural that neither of us could slow down. I really liked him. I felt comfortable and natural, and it was without a doubt the best time I have ever had.
I called him the next day and was in the neighborhood, and he asked me over for a while. I meant to just stop by for a minute, and it happened again, even though I really just wanted to say hi. I honestly felt we were a match made in heaven.
You guessed it. It has been 3 weeks, and he has never called me back. I am heart broken. I am absolutely crazy about this guy. I want to get to know him on an emotional level. But he probably thinks I am easy, and I know I am not.
Now it is all messed up. How can I fix this. I am not desperate by any means, but I have waited for years to feel this kind of chemistry.
You guys out there, tell me what can I do? Is he a player?
Don't feel bad Dolly. It happens to the best of us. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 1:29:46 AM | Oh my, I messed that one up real bad. I understand Dolly. Now I have been there and done it too.
I have met probably 20 guys on here. Most were nice but I never thought about having sex on any date with them. I am very careful, do not have sex even with people I have dated for months. Then when I least expected it, wow. We had chemistry like I have not felt in 30 years. It was so natural that neither of us could slow down. I really liked him. I felt comfortable and natural, and it was without a doubt the best time I have ever had.
I called him the next day and was in the neighborhood, and he asked me over for a while. I meant to just stop by for a minute, and it happened again, even though I really just wanted to say hi. I honestly felt we were a match made in heaven.
You guessed it. It has been 3 weeks, and he has never called me back. I am heart broken. I am absolutely crazy about this guy. I want to get to know him on an emotional level. But he probably thinks I am easy, and I know I am not.
Now it is all messed up. How can I fix this. I am not desperate by any means, but I have waited for years to feel this kind of chemistry.
You guys out there, tell me what can I do? Is he a player?
Don't feel bad Dolly. It happens to the best of us.
You have to some how let this man know that you have some value to him besides the sex. Something he cannot get from other women. But, be careful not to come off as needy or clingy.
Is he a player?
It depends on your defination. Most women seem to equate that term with some form of decite. So, if he hasn't lied to you he's not a player. Right? However, he sounds like a man that knows his way around a woman's body and that only comes with experance. Not with just one woman, but with many women.
At any rate, don't feel bad because you met someone that made you feel so good. Many people never have an experance like the one you had. These men are like a rollercoaster. A wild ride, but doing it every day could be too much.
"You don't fall in love with Mr. Pu$$y."
Samantha | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 2:32:57 AM | | If sex on the first date workrd out right for both parties Then I would say it was better luck then good planning. But I suppose If your pretty sure and you've discussed with eachother what you both want out of it..and you've done this all in one night then go for it...but I sure I can find half a dozen bad ending to one good ending for simular situations... | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:01:04 AM | | I didn't know people actually wanted to do it like that. So I guess that could translate to, no, I don't want it on the first date (or second or third for that matter). I don't understand the stuff about 'feeling the chemistry' either. Really, it takes time to actually get to know someone, so what's the point of just letting it all go so quickly and forgetting about anything other than the physical and what feels good at the moment? Plus that kind of shows a lack of control to just let the goodnowfeeling thing take over. I'd rather keep everything in check and not let it go only to realize it's a mistake later. Stuff like that clouds judgment... | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 3:02:34 AM | | Some of u wrote that it is not good to have sex on the first date, i think so too, but what if man wanna this and giving me signs he wants? it means he is checking me or what? or i just had only bad first dates :D :D | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 8:56:18 AM | | So how long is a respectable time limit? 3rd date 2 months, 4 months? If you have chatted for weeks and called and talked on the phone alot and you meet and you want to , that is bad? Does that mean he won't call you again? Is that the deal breaker in a relationship? So Men , what is the magic number where you would consider a woman respectable and relationship material. How many times have you slept with someone on the first date, does that make you less respectable or is it just a time line for women? I slepted with my son's father the first date and we were together for 8 years. We just had chemistry from the start. He was crazy about me until he passed away. Does it depend on the man? I have waited months to be with some one and the relationship didn't workout. I thought I knew him well but he was married and kept this from me and I saw him all the time not like just during the day when he took off form work. SO give me the answer please!! | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:12:53 AM | Good question denaj!
if u men say that u would never create a long term relation if a girl let u having sex on the first date, so WHEN is ok for u? | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/2/2008 11:42:04 AM | | I don't have a set in stone time limit. That seems rather silly to me. Just depends on how the relationship/dates go and progress. Could be first date..could be six months, just depends on how we are both feeling it. That being said if a woman did have a 'not on first date rule' or anything similar, I would respect that. Takes two to want to tango, as much as it takes two to actually do it! It's not the end of the world if a first date doesn't include sexual activity anyway, even if it is a first date. That is why I was blessed with hands if it is so urgent. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:57:31 AM |
only a wore sleeps on the first date , how can u form a relationship after sex on first date, ..
A fair few guys are saying things like this. It's bullshit. They're secretly angry at all women who put out 'too easily', because they never got to screw the prom queen, all the frustration hidden under a pretence of judgement and superiority.
When a guy claims he loses respect for a girl who's had sex with him on the first date, and will not see her as serious relationship material because of it, it's his way of getting REVENGE!
Women, generally speaking, have always been the 'gatekeepers' of sex. Men pursue, women decide if they'll accept it or not. As such, before sex women are in control of the sex situation. He's not in control. He's emasculated, and desperately wants to assert himself again.
After sex, there is a different dynamic. The women is very likely to want to see him again, and build on what they have. At that point there is a subtle power shift. Suddenly HE is in control of the situation. Suddenly he has the power to reject her! Revenge at last! And so he judiciously carries out this 'revenge' on any women who sleeps with him too soon, labelling them as 'easy' and 'unworthy', like some mighty purveyor of righteous justice.
After all, why dump a woman AFTER you've had sex with her, instead of just BEFORE you've had sex with her, but as soon as you realise she wants it 'too soon'? If it were JUST about being 'too easy', you would dump her WITHOUT having sex with her. That's the honourable thing to do if those are REALLY your morals.
There can be only one real answer to this question then...
Selfishness. Revenge. Because he desires to feel like a 'stud' and re-assert his masculinity by being a macho ***hole and inflicting the maximum amount of pain whilst showing the minimum amount of respect possible to the woman in question. Feeding his hurt ego. Showing the same contempt for women that he believes they deserve for not being 'good girls'.
Any guy who sleeps with you on the first date (or any time in a relationship he deems 'too soon') and then dumps you because of it, has serious issues with women. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:27:14 AM | Well design queen... if he stopped calling after, then he was never planning to call any further and may of not been what he presented to be. And don't get wrapped up with thinking of him there are too many men on this site that will call, and many that won't.
Just keep this a lessoned learned and move on. Men seem to like having women at their beck and call, and even though they claim they hate a women so into them it actually boosts their ego even if the men do not want to talk to the women any further.
That is what I am told by male friends.... Any how take it as you got a good feeling for the minute and move on, at least you had a good one!
But for all you how about sex on like 4th? Are we women still wrong I do not think so. I feel if one wants to take it great but be prepared for the voicemail after. And the wondering what went wrong. But does anyone really want to date for say a year and then finally decide " IS IT TIME YET" and find you are two totally separate when it comes to the bedroom, and be so disappointed and then how do you get out of that one.
Do what feels RIGHT with the one it feels right with and if the phone does not ring from him the next one will be calling. TRUST THAT! AND MANY MORE!! | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/21/2008 12:09:08 AM | Yes!, sex on a first date is a bad move, it's actually called a one night stand. You date, to specifically find out about someone of the opposite sex. My view on this topic is that it is wrong to even think of having sex on a first date. It is rude, disrespecful, and inconsiderate. You have to have self respect, and respect those whom you date. I personally would wait a couple of months, provided that the relationship even lasts that long. I would date for a longer period of time, trust must be gained by both sides, the people dating MUST reach mutual agreement intelligently. I have nothing against sex, or people doing it for that matter. I just think that, if you jump in bed to fast, you may get hurt emotionally, later realizing why did I do that so soon? You may regret it. If you use patience as your friend, you may have sex a little later on, and be better prepared emotionally to handle it. Then once you have passed that step, you can go totally sex crazed with your partner, and do it as much as you want, because by now trust between the two of you would have been gained. Thats my opinion. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/21/2008 1:47:58 AM | I always find this topic interesting.....Women are considered "easy" if they have sex with a man on the first date???? Well woman would not be having sex on the first date if there was not a man on the first date that was having sex with her. Is this a double standard? Should the man be coined a "male ho" then, if he also engaged in sex on the first date? or...would it depend on who initiated the sex?
I personally never have sex on the first date; I don't even know if I really like a man after the first date; it takes time to get to know someone...most often months. Is not saying that is right for everyone; but it works for me. If two people do engage in sex on the first date and the man thinks the woman is easy because of this, I think he needs to look at himself in the mirror and realize just how easy he was too. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/21/2008 3:12:36 AM | ziggydee (Message 53)
I am interested on your reply, what you wrote makes a lot os sense to me. So do you think that contraception can have a direct effect on how women view sex on a first dates?
What I am amzed at, is the answers that virile young men are writing here, do you think that these attitudes are embeded in certain genetic type of men, ie.the less willing to evolve? As far as I can see here, only a minority of men thinks its OK, why do you think that they think so different from the mayority!....I wonder if the replies to this post reflects the mayority of the male population point of view, because if it does.............we women still have a long way to go before full equality :-( | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:52:04 AM | All people are different.
This has been covered many times and a lot of people think they know what is best for everyone.
It doesn't matter.
If it is going to work it will if it isn't then you probably saved your self a lot of time and pain by bedding him and moving on when it was a bust. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:25:45 PM | Tauresa (Message 295) --- What do you mean by attitudes are embeded in certain genetic type of men? That makes no sense. As far as I know all men are genetically the same, it's chemically, and the way we are raised that define who we are today. What do you mean by less willing to evolve? We are evolved, we are human just like you, not all men are players as they say, some such as myself happen to have respect. It does not mean we are gay or chicken shit, it simply means some of us men use our brains before using our balls. The END.  | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:10:17 AM | Name,
She asked a simple question. Why can't she get a simple answer?
OK, my opinion: mixed. I think, irrespective of gender, if two people are really enamored (not using each other, etc. - i.e. basically, really, really thrilled in ALL respects) with one another on a first date, then it's OK. (I know several married couples who had sex on their first date.) However, there's still somewhat of a double standard (which, theoretically, I find archaic - then again, I'm a pragmatist). Realistically, the big problem with sex too early is this: she/he never really knows if it's the sex or real emotional attachment, so it's (ultimately) best not to muddy the waters by introducing sex so early. If it's meant to be, it'll wait until both parties feel comfortable. If it doesn't, then you know it wasn't meant to be.
In a nutshell, OP, nothing wrong with it given the RIGHT circumstances, but wiser to let it wait until you're both SURE you're truly enamored with one another. | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 4/30/2008 4:41:36 AM | | hi; i would just feel like a 'nice guy material ' if it goes past the three date rule , you woman have to stop playing games ! if it feels right do it , for god sakes you wanted equality YET HOW MANY LADIES CAN ASK A GUY OUT ? OR IS IT ONLY IF HE DRIVES A FARRARI ? YOU LADIES THAT WAY = ARE SO SHALLOW , | |
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| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 4/30/2008 5:15:47 AM | | Definitely a bad move. You don't really know anything about this guy or who he has slept with prior to you. He could have any number of STD's. It also gives a bad impression and he will think that you would do this with anybody. | |
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