| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:26:31 PM | I hope this isn't going to be one of those times when you say, "all men are the same", times. Because if it is, I'm not in that group. I'll bet he wouldn't say that in front of his mother and father.  | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:29:16 PM | With no due respect, spedshift . . . there is a time and place for everything. Telling a woman in public (especially on the first meeting) that she needs to lose weight is a poor showing of "honesty." And saying that "guys speak their mind" as if it excuses bad manners is appalling.
Men are not the only ones who speak their minds--women do it, too. I am well known for speaking my mind, but honesty is to be tempered with appropriateness and kindness . . . and timing. If I told all strangers whom I meet what they SHOULD do, I would never be able to be quiet.
I can see it now, walking down the street yelling, "Hey, you, fat man! Lose that beer belly!" "Dude, yes, you . . . get rid of that spare tire hanging over your belt!" "You, that combover looks ludicrous!"
I doubt that ANY of those men would thank me for speaking my mind.
Besides, do you think any overweight person on the face of the earth doesn't know that he or she needs to lose some pounds? The OP said that she knows she can stand to lose a few, but that is HER business, not his. He is not her doctor, her father, or her husband. She didn't ask for his opinion, and he should have kept it to himself. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/20/2007 11:06:21 PM | The club crawlers call this "push-pull" (giving a compliment then taking half of it back), but obviously he was a bit obvious in this one that came out stupid rather than funny. According to a friend of mine this creates a vacuum effect which is very useful in attracting people if used correctly.
In this case he was a bit rude and brash. Perhaps if he wanted to comment on the extra pounds he could have been subtle and said something like, "Hey, I love that red dress you got there. Did you get it off ebay?"
The girl will probably mutter something or laugh it off, then the guy would probably go "Yeah! I get a lot of my cloths off ebay. They're really convenient because one size usually fits all."
Usually girls know this is flirting. But in cases where they look at you like they're going to slap you because things didn't come out funny or perceived as funny, then throw in an extra wink or smirk to make sure she gets it. Otherwise, expect some alcohol on your face or a big hand print! | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:35:17 AM | Crystalise: I'm sorry you refuse to get it...
I'll translate:
He can say what ever he wants. She can respond any way SHE wants short of hitting him. That is illegal.
Racist remarks are not illegal and I will defend that right. It is a right. One cannot pick and choose what is a right and what isn't because they might not like it.
Get over it already. Use the energy losing 20 pounds rather than thinking up lawsuits or whining on here.
Do I have the right to say that?
You betcha! | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:13:30 AM |
Do I have the right to say that? You betcha!
Some things are legal but not ethical. For example, people who make several times the amount of money that I make in a year pay less taxes because of tax loopholes. Something tells me that people who make HUGE amounts of money should have to pay higher taxes--or maybe I am illogical.
It is the same with "rights." Just because someone has the right to say something, it doesn't mean he/she should say it. Why should he care if she is 20 pounds overweight? Is he fantasizing about having sex with her if she were thinner? Maybe--but he surely went about it the wrong way. Was he concerned about her health? No way. Even she were 300 pounds overweight, he still should have said nothing.
It was most likely a power play. NOTHING positive was gained by this incident except hurt feelings. I am blunt and outspoken, but even I know when to hold my tongue and say nothing. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 56 | |
| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 1:37:50 PM | Chilly is correct. The man has the right to express himself freely until it violates a law. He does not appear to have broken any laws. However most of us observe codes of conduct which are not law, such as etiquette. This man’s conduct was certainly a breach of etiquette.
Chilly is also incorrect. The man was not honest. What he said may have been true, but that doesn’t make it honest. Honesty is a scruple. Honesty is more than the truth. It is also upright and righteous. This man’s conduct was not honest, and to say so demeans the word. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 2:05:13 PM | | wow...that just isnt normal, what a nutjob, if i'd seen that happen i'd prob hit the guy even if i wasnt involved, nothing makes me angrier than someone being malicious for no reason | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 4:50:09 PM | He can say what ever he wants. She can respond any way SHE wants short of hitting him. Well hasnt she responded anyway she wants as on here and you are just telling her to get over it and to go away?
And that would be awesome and easy to get Chilly if that is actually what you wrote first time around
than thinking up lawsuits or whining on here. No one is thinking up lawsuits .
Racist remarks are not illegal and I will defend that right I beg to disagree. If someone approached someone at their place of work and made a derogatory and/or discriminatory racist comment they can invite persecution. Look up workplace laws and codes of conducts
Besides that - You keep missing or should I say dismissing - one of the major point - the OP was offended. As you say its her right to react that way so why are you dismissing her by telling her to go away , stop whining, telling her what to do with her physique. Isnt she just exercising her right as much as the guy if we go by your logic? yeh he can say whatever he wants but dont go acting all surprised and saying there is nothing wrong with it and that the OP should get over it.Remember you asked: Whats the problem?
Hey dont believe me, if YOU dont get it, I challenge you to go up to next female you meet out, a stranger, and tell her she needs to lose weight or add some other lil tidbit on how you perceive she should fix her looks, without her asking. Because that is your "right" ... to insult and offend? good on you.
That's all anyone needs to do to prove the point. Hope that all works out for you
However most of us observe codes of conduct which are not law, such as etiquette. This man’s conduct was certainly a breach of etiquette.
A very good point
And there's social conduct and social responsibility Chilly has latched onto the word when I said he had no right to do that. There are ethical and social rights not just civil or legal. You have a right to be treated with respect. Can you uphold that by law? probably not. But social conduct morals and ethics certainly come into play not just the law. Chillys viewpoint seems to be that the guy has this right to say it but the OP has no ethical right to be offended and voice her distress here. That just doesnt sit 'right' somehow.
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:10:09 PM | Iwanta. why would you let that guy say that and say it again. i haven't looked at your profile and it really doesn't matter...the truth is he must have been drunk or is an A##. What makes him the model patrol?! Evidently he wasn't the pick of the gals, or he wouldn't have been on his own standing there insulting you....
What do you do? You walk away and go flirt with a guy. Have a drink and forget hte jerk...of course, very good to let your girlfriends know...he deserves to be blackballed.... | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:15:02 PM | | He was probably drunk sweetie, .25 cents beer can do major damage. But nevertheless I know it doesn't feel good to hear shit like that from complete strangers | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:40:53 PM | People get arrested at work for racists remarks?
No. They lose their jobs. A consequence of their actions. With freedom of speech comes personal responsibility. What do you miss about that?
I challenge you to go up to next female you meet out, a stranger, and tell her she needs to lose weight or add some other lil tidbit on how you perceive she should fix her looks, without her asking.
How stupid is that statement?
You assume I would act like that in ANY arena. I personally don't talk to people like that. BUT, hey, if some idiot wants to that's his deal.
Why waste all the energy whining about it? You realize: it happened, she came home, turned on her computer and spewd about some drunken idiot at a bar. Wow.
Hitting your response point by point is fruitless and a waste of my time, as you will make up things I never said and pose stupid senarios anyway. Just read the black parts, what is written...don't assume you know anything about me or what I believe. If you want to know just a bit of me read my profile. If not, shoooo.
It's not the choice that's hard, it's living with the consequences of those choices that separates the "men from the boys". | |
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M2k7
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Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 62 | |
| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 6:06:28 PM | | I would have grabbed the bouncer and told him that he accosted you and to throw him out. Then you would have lost a good 180lbs of as$hole. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:17:37 PM | You have no pics on your profile so could not see what you mean about a few extra pounds, anyway some guys like girls who are built for comfort, not speed .
Quote the bumper sticker, "I may be fat, but you are ugly" and that goes for the inside too!!
Some guys call themselves thin when they look athletic so that would be the type who would probably prefer a voluptuous woman as his frame of reference is different to a bad boy just looking for a barbie doll.
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:25:43 PM | People get arrested at work for racists remarks?
No. They lose their jobs.
Chilly.... Why do they lose their jobs? You don't have to be arrested to have legal action taken against you When you get a fine, are you being arrested? No. Eg for littering. That is breaking a law, but you dont have to be arrested...
I personally don't talk to people like that
Thats excellent to hear. Now, WHY dont you? That is the point everyone is trying to make
My scenarios are not stupid they are what is known as "hypothetical" it is not an assumption on your or any allusion to knowing you. Reading your profile is irrelevant because I have no intentions of getting personal with you just because I disagree with you in a forum debate
I did not make up things you never said. I did a correct quote from things you wrote
SHoo?? Sorry dont I have a RIGHT to say what I want here? According to you I do...
You realize: it happened, she came home, turned on her computer and spewd about some drunken idiot at a bar. Wow.
What is wrong with that? Again according to you she has the right to say whatever she wants so. But I am glad to see you admit he is an idiot, pretty much what a lot of people are trying to say | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:43:00 PM |
So what's the problem? He was honest. Maybe a bit brash about it, but honest. I bet without reading your profile, it was something you ask for in a guy.
Should he have lied to you, took you home and thrashed you then never called? The truth is not something that tastes sweet...most of the time.
Was that honestly the most intelligent response you could come up with?
Chilly62, it's a damn good thing the Lord blessed you with looks because you've got the personality of a twit on steroids.
Go throw a baseball around or something. In the exchange of textual intercourse, you are IMPOTENT!
OP...sorry to hear about your public humiliation. What an ar$e! | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:19:53 PM | | Its pretty amazing to me that chilly turns what happened to me around and attacks me. But its not amazing to me that he is still single with that attitude. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:21:35 PM | | He thinks he can do it because he can. I imagine most women he has been rude to have reacted the same way you did. They just stand there and listen to the gibberish. Develop some backbone and learn how to effectively flounce away at the first indication of ill manners. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:23:27 PM | Geez, he wasn't thinking he was drunk... that or it was a bet.
Either way it's so not something to get riled up over. Not all men are like that. Of course if you let yourself get all frazzled over the ones who are, then you will screw things up with the ones who aren't just as bad as that one did with you if not worse. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:32:36 PM | You reach up and stroke his cheek back and say "You are so hot.....And if you had any kind of personality the girls would just be fighting over you" and then you walk away!!!
The tackiness of some people absolutely kills me!!! I am not a skinny girl and get comments all the time about how hot I would be if I just lost the weight and I always reply that I do not understand where they got the impression that I would sleep with them to begin with but that rest assured when I get the urge to start pursuing a$$holes they would be the first on my list........but not to hold their breath.  | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:03:03 PM | HAHAHA. No offense, but do you have any education at all? People who make HUGE amounts of money pay HUGE amounts of taxes..an unfair percentage! Our government punishes people who produce money, jobs and products by slamming them with huge tax bills and forcing them to give it away to people who have 15 children and cant get out of bed every day, much less contribute anything meaningful to themselves or society. Rich people pay 80% of the federal tax revenues...80%. They get hit with tax bills that are multiple times your years earnings. Tax loopholes for the rich benefit you...want to know why?...they keep the companies profitable enough to be able to hire you and PAY you so you have the opportunity to make a living. ..on top of that give to multiple charities, research foundations, cures for diseases, make our lives better by inventing products and conveniences, creating medical breakthroughs and producing every single thing you use in your little life..(what have you done that's this great that you deserve a bigger tax break than them?).and meanwhile paying for communist programs like social security. By the WAY..Wanna know why social security is bankrupt? 1. social programs don't work and never will and never have..they always end up bankrupt...look at peachcare. Want socialized medicine?...it will end up just like social security and peachcare..bankrupt. WHY? Because while Rich people are out adding to society as the minority...the majority just wants what they can get for free. After a while, why should I work hard at all?? So the government can STEAL my money and give it to a bunch of lazy worthless loafs? Gimme a freakin break. America is about progress, production and the right to PURSUE happiness. Not get free stuff because your a loser. Move to France. You'll like it there. Everyone is poor except the government..oh..and Americans who live there.
MONEY does not change your character. It only brings out the true character you already had...Rich White Men are the MOST discriminated against group in America right now! | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/22/2007 3:49:05 AM | "Blastkissed":
Great post, the last gasp of the true loser: name calling. That ususally means debate has ended.
Hmnnn...which got me thinking: Does that make you worse than the original idiot at the bar? I didn't ask for your opinion on my "impotence" OR my "twit" (I like my twit by the way) but you felt the need to give it to me...interesting, huh?
Real "intelligent response".
"crystalise": Come on, you already visited my profile 2 days ago. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/22/2007 4:41:50 AM |
"crystalise": Come on, you already visited my profile 2 days ago.
Chilly Come on yourself. I never said I didn't. I said its irrelevant in the manner to which you brought up ie talking about me not assuming I know you etc etc etc. I said its irrelevant to the topic at hand. Which it is. | |
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| What makes him think................
Posted: 3/22/2007 4:42:33 AM | | what do you do when someone does this to you is you tell him to f*ck right off . why is he right that you should lose weight? why are you not good enough and pretty enough as you are . the guy is a jerk off forget him. | |
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