| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/23/2007 2:15:06 PM | On the renaissance/gothygeek debate (gee, I hope I spelled at least one of those correctly) I do agree that everyone is responsible for overcoming his/her own issues. It is never our job to make someone else happy, even our partners. We are each in charge of our own happiness.
BUT, having said that, I must point out that:
1.) There is nothing wrong and everything right with a caring partner offering his/her help in overcoming those issues. It's just that the individual with the issues has to do the work in getting them taken care of.
2.) I don't see where it's renaissance who is making the personal attacks.
Just a third-party observation.
And, on another topic, I've got to take some exception to the attacks on bedwetters. Having been married to one, I must point out that some people just can't help it. That man had a medical reason for it. It wouldn't have been fair to condemn him. People with bad bladders deserve love too. | |
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sldk
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Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 77 | |
| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:36:43 PM | | Bad kissing is a definate deal breaker. I once dated a guy who kissed so bad I had to towel off afterward. Then he'd suck on my hair and leave a bucket of saliva in it. Yech! What was I thinking? I'll never date a bad kisser again. I like kissing too much to give it up. | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:20:34 PM | This didn't happen to me, but it's funny just the same.
A friend of mine was with this guy and one day she just had enough. She got up while they were having sex and started to get dressed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "One of us is having fun, and it's not me". She left and never saw him again. It happened over 20 years ago when we were in our early 20's. I still laugh when I think of it. | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:33:29 AM | I had invited a guy over that I had been talking to, and getting to know. Now people...hold your laughter.
He slapped me on my ass so hard I thought he broke my hip or knocked it outa joint!!...He pinched my nipples so hard,I thought he pulled 'em off!...He then laid in bed and broke wind so loud, it was frightening....and then he snored...... And I was sore for the next 3 days or so!..that one didnt last till the water got hot!!! Cause Houston!!!!....we had a serious problem!!!  I was blunt..and told him "lose them digits dude, cause if you ever do that again...Im gonna have my brothers to whoop your ass! All 8 of em!!!"
Now...here is what has MY sides sore: What is with all this pissing and going on? I can only imagine the looks on whomevers faces when they feel that wet warmth creepin over them under the covers....Lord have mercy!!! | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:38:36 AM |
Ok, so you goaded me into a response. The issue about not responding has nothing to do with an inability to debate on a subject, it has more to do with the pointlessness of debating with a person whose social stimuli is, clearly, taken through argumentative behavior. I hope you have addressed this within your relationship and your partner is happy to indulge as it could cause serious ramifications for the future.
Uh, no, I didn't. It was your choice on whether to respond or not. Really, it was. Just as it was mine to respond to your post. You *really* don't understand the concept of personal responsibility, do you?
I thought my response after being told that I have "personal issues" was quite humorous and light. Now please feel free to drop the pseudo-psycho-babble at any time.
Go back and read what was said again and, please, understand that this is a contextual based discussion with assumptions added.
Yes, in which you jumped down the guy's throat and called him selfish even though by your own admission know NOTHING about what transpired between the two.
BUT, having said that, I must point out that:
1.) There is nothing wrong and everything right with a caring partner offering his/her help in overcoming those issues. It's just that the individual with the issues has to do the work in getting them taken care of.
You are right and it was never my intention to say otherwise. If someone really wants to help the person they love it's never a bad thing. Believe me; I know more about this subject than most people do or should ever have to. Even though some would like everyone to believe that I lack compassion or empathy I know that those who know me IRL could attest differently (which brings me to my next point).
2.) I don't see where it's renaissance who is making the personal attacks.
He attacked a guy for being "selfish" even though he has no idea what actually transpired between the two. That is what brought him onto my radar screen.
Now, this is my last post on the subject seeing as I'm leaving on vacation to see my grown daughter and leaving PoF shortly thereafter. I'm sure some will come back with some sort of a response but I'll no doubt miss it.
Have fun boys and girls. :+) | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:50:56 PM | i think a poo fetish would definitely do it for me... besides that, i can work with most imperfections...  | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:11:31 PM | HI!!!!! I WAS RESDING YOUR REPLY....AND......LET ME TELL YOU GIRL.......I DIDN'T LAUGH SO HARD FOR A VERY LONG TIME......AWESOME (especially the 8 brothers ) LOVE THE STORY AN IF EVER IN SIMILAR SITUATION...WILL DO WHAT YOU DID. GO GIRL TELL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:26:59 PM | How about things that actually did happen to me that made me run...
Yes, the old call me the wrong name was used once...
One lady wanted to give me the weather report during, as if we were doing nothing more then having a normal conversation, that was wierd...I actually laughed and lost my motivation...
Had one pee on me during her orgasm. No, it was pee, smelled bad, thank god it was her bed...
Had one use baby talk during the act, once again I laughed and lost my motivation...
The last wierd one was the girl that wanted me to slap her (in the face) during the act. Can't keep from laughing at this wierd stuff until I lose my mojo..
Then there was the girl who wanted to put make-up on me and do my hair, needless to say I got out of there quick. I don't even think I stopped to laugh at this one... | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:04:42 AM | and what about those who " let em rip" in bed...now thats just disgusting.
My ex would do this just to be nasty...and believe me when I say...
her farts could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon...seriously.
One night her stupid little game backfired on her...well lets just say I moved to the other room and she spent the next few hours washing the sheets.
I wonder how her third husband is handling it?   | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:47:26 AM | Well, GOTHYGEEK, look whose calling the kettle black. So, you admit that you didn't communicate to your sexless husband but you think other women should know what to do automatically. Aren't you special. AND OPINIONATED!
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:54:13 AM |
So GOTHYGEEK, I just read this post. You continue to amaze me that now that you KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT SEX AND A WOMAN'S ROLL IN THE SEX ACT - you think any woman who doesn't understand how to get what she wants, it is her responsibility to find out for herself before she gets in bed with a man. How did you find out that you weren't getting what you wanted in your marriage. Did a big rock fall on your head? YOU ARE A PIECE OF WORK.  | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 3:17:35 AM | | if you love someone it won't matter if they are a bad bed partner, because those kind of skills can be taught with patience. | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:09:30 AM | | Ok i can deal with the snoring , farting ,scratching and such, and since i lost and never recovered much of my smell i can even accept some odours, But at the beginnign of a relationship if the kissing sucks, then its doomed. Also on the list is terminal ( first time selfishness i can deal with)selfishness because a i previous poster stated i can be very generous. Now sometimes there may be a connection on all other lines communication,looks,friendship but when it gets around to the sex its just not there. While i can try to make it work and work on it, i know eventually i'll get bored and move on and then i'll feel bad about leaving that person just because the sex is bad, so i'll usually give up on it and move on. | |
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| counting ceiling tiles
Posted: 3/25/2007 6:42:03 AM | I remember when I was 17, all those years ago, my (more or less) first. I had taken the school of "here, watch debbie does dallas" birds and the bees talk... I attempted a few of the things I saw, such as oral sex... going down on a woman (during my first time...) she yawned, laid there, and finally commented, "are you done yet?"
Needless to say, it was 3 years later when I finally had sex again, and have refined my techniques rather well, since...
CC | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:48:13 PM | if you love someone it won't matter if they are a bad bed partner, because those kind of skills can be taught with patience.
 YOU SAID IT HARDBODY!!  
Reading over the most recent posts, I was forming the same thought in my head and would have said something similar if you hadn't said it first. Love covers everything. What my bad bed partners couldn't help, i.e. the medical issues, I didn't hold against them, because I loved them. What might be helped, i.e. bad sexual techniques, can be overcome just as you said.
The inexcusable things mentioned in this thread, and I wouldn't love the people who do these things enough to want to be with them in bed:
1.) Selfishness, either not caring whether your partner is pleasured, or not caring whether your partner is comfortable.
2.) Causing pain and/or injury during sex, whether or not the partner gets off on pain--which to me is itself a whole other red flag. I'd run away as fast as I could from a partner who either inflicted or desired pain.
Now a question, based on an actual situation: He wants oral sex. She isn't feeling good, she's been sick and she's not in the mood. He doesn't take No for an answer and shoves it in her mouth so forcefully it gags her. She vomits all over him. Now, who was the bad bed partner? Her or him? To hear him and his guy buddies talk, it's her.... | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:51:12 PM | when they are a min man !!!
or when u give to give them head and they always taste like another women even after a shower............ | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 6:00:07 AM | okay..Party over!!! ...now that last part right there...the shovin it in her mouth part...all that right there...yeah...that part....ummm hum...Thats the part where I woulda had all 8 of my brothers to whoop his ass real good. That is just downright MEAN! I dont know honestly if my brothers woulda had anything to whoop after I bit it off....IF he got that far Anyway...but knowing me as I am...and I know ME...that woulda NEVER happened ANYway...so.... | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 6:10:26 AM | | (slapping hand over my mouth!!) OMG!!!! you are kidding...right????? Now...correct me if I am wrong...he has taken a shower...thus supposedly clean...and smells like a woman...tastes like a woman....ANOTHER woman at that....what kinda woman was he WITH? (quizical look...turning perplexed somewhat)...This one is too much!...Thats a new one there!...man!...um um um....lmao | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 6:28:42 AM |
if you love someone it won't matter if they are a bad bed partner, because those kind of skills can be taught with patience.
You'd think so, wouldn't you? In my experience, it isn't true. Things might improve for awhile, but then it's back to the same old/same old that they're comfortable with. And that's OK if it's something you're comfortable with too. You see, it's an effort for some people to do things differently than they've always done them. Patience is a virture, for sure. But I don't intend to be patient for the rest of my life. Someone has to want to change. Patience is a useless trait when they don't. | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 10:55:35 AM | Okay Cruz...here we go!..Now...Im the type of woman...that firmly believes in doing unto others...whatEVER it may be...as they call themselves doing unto ME! And see...if a man decides that he wants to be selfish, then I do the unthinkable right there in his face and let him know he didnt satisfy!  Okay...and causin pain?....PAIN??? Oh baby...see...that is the part where I would get up...and calmly go to the phone and call Junior, Bubba and them over to straighten a few things out! And last but not least...Im back onto that part right there....yeah...the shovin it in her mouth and makin her gag part...uh huh...yep...that...I think that is a straight up ass whoopin. When I got through pukin...the gloves woulda come off... But then...everybody doesnt think like ME...praise the Lord! And no...Im not violent...I just figure thats the good old fashioned remedy! | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 11:08:13 AM | By the way...can you imagine THAT telephone call to your brothers? (even the deputized ones!
"yeah!...Bubba?....can ya'll come over here?...this damn man shoved his....yeah!...and made me throw up...and then he called me insensitive!!!...And ya'll KNOW I been sick!!!...yeah...ya'll come git him...he right here! Hurry up!"
That'll learn 'em, durn 'em! | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 2:20:54 PM | over dramatization
or someone who acts dead..
but I would take scilence over the man who is overly dramatic..lol.
IT just isnt' sexy to be 'clownish' in your presentations..*giggling*
and being 'hammy' is not cool..
oh..and farting and pulling the covers over someones head is revolting!
*retch* | |
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| Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/29/2007 2:33:13 PM | Selfish lovers. They get their and you get left to wanna kick them out. IE: you give oral, they don't. ahhh yeah. biggie there. Water sports, defecating for pleasure-not gonna get it EVER.
I agree with Echosong, farting and pulling the covers up over your head is just nasty, tasteless and childish. He's gotta go.
Granite talking things out so you each understand each other and what their needs are is essential. If they insist on not partaking and being a dead lay, they gotta go. | |
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