lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:19:39 PM | | Creepy coincidence - I just finished that after a 9 1/2 month relationship. I should have read the signs but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I didn't. No one else to blame but me!!!!!!!!!And now to date again ???????????????????vmkoemvokjv kojomkofjdlj!!!!!!!!!!!I don't blame him at all totally my fault!!!!!!!!Ladies/Gentlemen please read the writing on the wall. The signs are there just watch out for them and of course listen to what's missing. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:24:01 PM | Lol,, yeah definately scary if you agreeing with me S.C. You might be finally coming into your own. lol lol.........
Yeah ruby: I hear ya, I can see where this can take off too, with all the car analogy's that can be used in provacative ways. lol Was thinking about that after the post. lol | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:28:15 PM |
I just want one love
Me too.
I have men that want to use me, men that want to f*ck me, men that want to talk to me, men that was to buy me, men that want to own me, men that want to control me, men that want to be friends with me, men who want to change me, men who think they know me, and men who want to **** me under the premise of a promise of something more.
I want a man who wants to love me. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 6:41:53 PM | Well said Lyrical !!!
and I couldn't agree more...
" I just want one love
Me too.
I have men that want to use me, men that want to f*ck me, men that want to talk to me, men that want to buy me, men that want to own me, men that want to control me, men that want to be friends with me, men who want to change me, men who think they know me, and men who want to **** me under the premise of a promise of something more.
I want a man who wants to love me FOR ME !!! "
I can't add a damn thing...
GEB | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:23:57 PM | I find "dating" such an odd thing. A real catch 22. How do we have the opportunity to meet "The ONE" if we don't date? But then how do we recognise "The ONE" in a sea of many? Ever try finding someone you know on a crowded street or a mosh pit?? (it's even worse if you've had a few drinks....)
To me the point of "dating" is to hopefully meet someone with whom I share a true connection, true companionship. I would rather invest quality time and focus on one person at a time, ("commitment" to get to know you) with no outside distractions, to get at the core of that person. "Sampling" only scratches the surface, and while you think you may be making "informed" , "not going to settle" decisions, the risk is they may be superficial ones.
No one says you gotta marry the guy/gal but at least you gave them a real chance before make the decision to make it long term or call things off. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:42:48 PM |
To me the point of "dating" is to hopefully meet someone with whom I share a true connection, true companionship. I would rather invest quality time and focus on one person at a time, ("commitment" to get to know you) with no outside distractions, to get at the core of that person. "Sampling" only scratches the surface, and while you think you may be making "informed" , "not going to settle" decisions, the risk is they may be superficial ones.
Hey all - First post here. I agree with what you said chavalita.
About the commitment part.... well, I am a firm believer of "slow and steady wins the race". Get to know the person some. If sex seems right, go for it. If it doesn't - don't. No expectations. Honestly though - I am not into one night stands -- It does not mean "test drive the car", to use a bad analogy. But... you can meet someone and know that they're a "great" fit, a "good" fit, or a "terrible" fit, at the start, but personally I don't feel the need to rush into "long term commitment" if it's a great fit. Don't get me wrong, I am one of those people that can't "date" multiple people at the same time, but I don't see the need for "titles" at the start. Here's why:
I recently figured something out. I could never give myself 100% to a relationship unless I was able to be 100% happy with myself. I am very very happy with myself right now - and that involves a busy and somewhat unstable career now (but lots of good stuff is happening). I find a lot of people want you to conform to their idea of what their ideal mate should be. So, if it takes you a while to figure out whether this person is going to try and conform you, or whether they'll let you be you, then I'd take that time. I left my marriage after quite a few years of "great (but loveless) friendship". I couldn't be the person that I needed to be happy. I had to be true to myself and follow my dreams - dreams I had from before the marriage... but her dreams changed. Following dreams "together" would be so nice, and I guess it would take me a while to trust that the other person really wanted the best for "each other" and "together".
It is sad though that the "dating" world, is full of games, people who interpret offers of coffee as sex (when it's not), people who want coffee to mean sex. But I am the eternal optimist and all will be fine :) | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:42:51 PM | Hey Lyrical gal..........
Me too.
I have men that want to use me, men that want to f*ck me, men that want to talk to me, men that was to buy me, men that want to own me, men that want to control me, men that want to be friends with me, men who want to change me, men who think they know me, and men who want to **** me under the premise of a promise of something more.
I want a man who wants to love me.
Boy have you got that right! It is so darned hard finding that just right one.
Chavilita.......Yes at least give it a good shot before you call it quits for sure. I've done that wait and see a few times now myself. I am no good at more than one at a time! | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/19/2007 11:20:51 PM | Welcome to the forums StoneTemplePilot
It is sad though that the "dating" world, is full of games, people who interpret offers of coffee as sex (when it's not), people who want coffee to mean sex. But I am the eternal optimist and all will be fine :)
And then there are the ones who, when you ask them about where they caught the nice pike featured in their profile, interpret that to mean you want anal sex on the first IM!!!!! (yes , true story, but I blocked him appropriately). | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:19:50 AM |
Boy have you got that right! It is so darned hard finding that just right one.
We are out there. There are guys that don't want to use or abuse a woman but to love her, cherish her, laugh with her, cry with her and be all that she needs, wants and desires. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/20/2007 9:51:08 AM |
And then there are the ones who, when you ask them about where they caught the nice pike featured in their profile, interpret that to mean you want anal sex on the first IM!!!!! (yes , true story, but I blocked him appropriately).
Wow. That stinks. Yeah, that's not to appropriate at all. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/20/2007 11:04:18 AM | One thing I do think is that to many people have this disposable view of the opposite sex..
The mirror of life
Whatever is cast out, will be a reflection
What do you want your reflection to be?
Be wary of what you cast off
After all, you are your reflection. | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/20/2007 3:45:16 PM | | hey'' justin6767 great way of putting it! or perpetual daters....lol but'' here is too believing that it can and will happen, for all of us! | |
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pojub
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Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:30:00 PM | I actually met a man from this site, and I liked him. He is smart and funny, determined,
stable, does not drink nor smoke - a great guy. BUT he hardly ever called me. He was and is always busy with his job and everybody else, and I was just situated at the bottom of the totempole, or maybe even below.
I soooo much wished to have had a chance to fall in love with him, and it never happened.
Goodness ------ so much heartache.
I really do not understand men at all - at times.
You know how ppl make jokes about this little thing when they say: honeyyy, i am hommmme.
I don't think I ever said that and I miss saying that. What a funny - odd thing.
Lol - seeee, I wish to be committed and I somehow seem to miss out on that chance.
(does this fall under Murphy's law?) | |
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| Dating but not committing....why?
Posted: 4/10/2007 7:12:07 AM | Women do it for the free meals, to feed their ego and for the occassional roll in the hay. Men do it in the hopes of being one of the ones she is in the mood to roll with; there are no such things as platonic relationships. Whatever excuses they use, people are sexual beings and these individuals that are just "dating" are all just looking for intimate encounters but are afraid of the stigma that goes with the label; they want their cake and eat it too but don't want to pay for it.  | |
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