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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:58:07 PM | | i think men an women have that ability to cheat the same .. some people just get bored with the other person an are they the type that will do anything to make thierselves happy if the other person is not doing it for them.. yes men think with thier under area an women can be he same... its all in your morals an your devotion to the other person ... | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:33:25 PM | I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible for people to stay in a 100% committed relationship all of the time? There may be instances where couples have done it but I find them rare. It seems like alot more people are having affairs and having sex with other people, or maybe it just seems like it.
If you think about it, as human beings we were put on this earth to procreate with other people. In a sense, I don't think we were really meant to be tied down to one person.Even for people that don't have affairs,I'm pretty sure you've at least lusted for another person other than your partner. We may fall in love & you may love that one person but also you will have the desire to have sex with others, spreading as much of your seed as possible I guess. I'm not condoning infidelity or anything. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:40:24 PM |
Are men wired to cheat?
No
the giggleparts - I climbed a mountain once, comprised of dirty clothes and my angst. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:03:10 AM | Actually both sexes are "wired" to cheat. But humans have enough brain power to ignore instincts (thus celebacy).
MEN:
They are programmed to spread their "seed" as much as possible. As they want to have sex with as many people as possible "players".
WOMEN:
They are wired to want 2 things from a man. Good gene's and a good provider. So the good gene's could be the "jock, bad boy". While the good provider, would be the "nice guy" accountant, as he will give good leadership for the child & get paid well enough to provide for the family.
But once again, humans can ignore instinct. SO DON'T CHEAT!!!! | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:29:19 AM | ^^^ There is a flaw in your oh so impeccable logic... one you freely admit.
What does it mean to be 'wired to cheat'? If in fact we have minds... brains, that can have rational and sustaining thoughts, does that not mean we are wired to perceive and sort out said perceptions? To weigh consequences and understand goals?
Our instincts are only one dimension... one aspect of a whole.
We even try to rationalize our failures, both personal and professional. We try and blame instinct... primordial programming... I will not bow down to the reptilian portion of my brain. I'm not just a collection of parts that ejaculates my genetic destiny to the 4 winds.
We are wired, but not to cheat. We are wired to understand and to grow beyond our own limitations.
People really should not cheat... it is not logical. It will not fill the void in your life... it will not solve your problems or make you happier. It is a self-destructive path that will take you places not worth traveling. It is something that is self-limiting. You risk hurting more than just yourself... and for what? A moment of pleasure? A way to seek vengeance on someone whom you think wronged you and so you wrong them in kind?
In the end, when you have time to ponder the significance of what you have done and have lost - and you will have time enough for these thoughts to torment your mind - most likely, you will regret your choice and by then, it will be too late.
the giggleparts - Billionaire publishing magnate by night and... then I wake up and my life sucks. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/24/2007 3:12:32 AM | Our genes look out for their own. For our gene's sake, they would prefer us to mate with as many people as possible. There is no gene for 'pick one person forever'. (I'm fairly sure, someone prove me wrong). There are many genes for 'have lots of sex'.
I'm speaking pure biology here.
Love creates a 'pair bond'. Its a strong emotion that tries to get the man to stick around while the woman is pregnant, and maybe a bit longer. Thats why it tends to wear off after about 14 months (Sorry I don't know the exact number, YOU google it). Love has lots of effects besides lowering cheating.
Humans are special though, since we evolved sentience we don't have to follow what our gene's tell us. Sentience gave rise to culture, which evolves thousands of times faster then our genes do. Culture gave birth to religion, & law among other things. Sentience is effectively very good at over-riding our genes.
Ironically altruism is an evolved trait, there is a gene for it. Fact, not opinion. Now which gene in the genome is another story... Moving on though.
Cheating, sounds like a moral choice doesn't it? Can non-humans even make moral choices? Morals are the result of sentience.
God is the only thing keeping you from cheating? If you look within yourself, you can't find any other reason not to cheat?
Respect for the relationship? (due to sentience). Respect for the individual? (due to sentience). Where did these morals you have come from?
If your Christian, and in a relationship, but not married, is it okay to date other people at the same time? Its not against the bible... so do it! More of these morals due to sentience...
Okay without using god, I'll invoke some Kant. He'd love this. Shame he's dead.
'Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.' <- Categorical Imperative.
This is a bit stronger then the golden rule. Killer moral philosophy because its not just what you do it others, its what society could & should do to you. So lets take it for a test drive.
I cheat, now everyone on the face of the earth is okay to cheat, and in fact I expect it of them. This hurts my feelings. That sucks; therefore, cheating is bad.
You can invoke this with lots of other things.
I murder, now everyone on the face of the earth murders, and its okay, in fact I expect of of them. They can kill me. That sucks, therefore, murder is bad.
I lie, now everyone on the face of the earth lies, and its okay, in fact I expect of of them.
Now that everyone lies, nothing makes any sense, therefore, lying is bad.
We need a moral philosopher on this board. I know one is reading this and waiting to key in. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:34:26 AM | | I could never bring myself to ever cheat.so I,m not wired to cheat on a woman.maybe in cards and checkers but thats it for mew | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/25/2007 5:34:47 AM | giggleparts that was fecking beautiful bro.(wipes a tear from hiz eye.)U are brilliant.And I am moved :D.Good fecking post.Wish I wouldve thought of it :D
Dood above people are not programmed to spread their seed.In every single hole that they can get.Many choose to do so.To the detriment of all of humanity.And every other lifeform.Forced to share this planet with us.Ive often sat back and compared the human specie.To a virus.And the world is bursting with infection.Most people shouldnt breed PERIOD.
But as mortal beings.We as a species.Have as many faults as virtues.For real though giggleparts.That post really was awesome.People enjoy the ability to think and reason. Yeah right,well a tiny percentage of people do :D.These are the people who should be spreading their "seed".But of course.For one reason or another.Are limited in the degree of procreation.
In my opinion "playa's" are not as much concerned with spreading their seed.As they are on being aholes.Who toy with peoples emotions.And enjoy exploiting people.My opinion ,they have a seriously over blown sense of selfworth.And/or maybe some selfesteem issues.Or they could just be fecking dumbazzes.That are another fine example of groups.
That should be surgically sterilized :D.
Jesus I had a point here.Guess my point is.That Im going to sit back.Have another drink.And quit typing :)
But to reiterate,what Ive said in previous posts on this madness.Not all men cheat. So once again.Obviously,not all men.Are "wired" to cheat.
Ok this wasnt as good as jiggleparts post.But gives U something to read eh :D usroberts,how ya doing man ?Good I hope.Ok take care people. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/25/2007 8:45:09 AM | They do it - and they feel it is ok.
They don't really think how it will affect their partners.
It is all about self control and being responsible to others.
When the "dogs" are out - well - not much else is on their minds.
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grazzy
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Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 85 | |
| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/25/2007 3:27:29 PM | Good post little, and sorry - little to say.
Are you free, are you happy to be free? If yes, why does this question arise anyway?
Reasoning woud be - free yourself from all that is bonding you and the qustion will dissolve by its own. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/25/2007 4:53:10 PM | Cheating is merely a concept accepted by those who believe in monogamy and the familiar model of the Nuclear Family. It is strictly a social definition and belief, one that has become even more popular as feminism has equalized the role of the wife in the family. It is an idea promoted by society, church, the government, and our justice systems.
There are those who believe in Polygamy and Polyamorous relationships. We tend to see them as social deviants...because in our current society, they are. However, looking back even into only recent history of man as a species, there were many cultures and groups that practiced this form of love and relationship. Often, the men who took more than one wife, took responsibility for the woman. They sheltered them, fed them, clothed them, and did the same for the offspring from such relationships.
Yes, men might be wired evolutionary-wise to spread their seed...to procreate often with as many partners as possible as a mode of survival of their genetic line. However, in this day-and-age, it does NOT give them the right to leave ba.stard children, and broken homes everywhere as they dip their wicks in every pot of wax in the neighbourhood. That's where the advancement of the human species has also included intellect, values, morals, responsibility, the ideological belief of right and wrong and personal choice into the mix.
Just a thought,
Dev | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/26/2007 6:10:06 AM | | A Chris Rock quote: A man is as faithfull as his options, nothing more nothing less. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/26/2007 6:51:41 AM | It breaks down pretty simple.
there's seldom sin without deception. Whatever two people agree on is fine. Be it monogamy or multiple partners stuff. But obviously if someone trusts you and you betray that trust, it's vile.
as far as the natural predisposition argument? Yeah, we are naturally predisposed to do a lot of things, including ****ing whoever we can.
But there are a lot of insticnts that we surpress, that's why the guy who cut me off right before a stop light, still has all his teeth.....it's a good thing.
you said yourself:
<div class="quote">
Love is jumping in front of a bullet for someone, love is when there is only one thing in the house to eat and your broke and your spouse is hungry as are you but you let them have the last bit of food. Love is sacraficing things you could use in order to help a loved one.
so if monagamy is special and important to whoever you love, then there's no question about it.
if not.....have fun | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:51:27 AM | Personally I think CHEATING IS WRONG. I would however, define cheating as sleeping with someone other than whom you are dating without permission from your partner. So I don't consider swingers, ect. as cheaters. I am way too jealous a person, however, to participate in that kind of lifestyle.
Personally I would never cheat. I really don't think we are hard wired to cheat at all. I do not have as much expiernce as many people on here, but from the relationships I have had, I find that I don't even notice other females when I'm in a relationship. Maybe because I value trust, honesty and loyalty, or maybe because I get jealous easily and know I wouldn't want to have a g/f cheat on me, I dunno. Whatever the reason, once I'm in a relationship, I find myself blind to any other girls out there. It's weird how that works. It may also be what other people have written about chemicals being released during sex that make you feel clsoer to the other person. Perhaps these checmicals are what blind me to others.
As for God and all that, I'm an agnostic. I think there most be some higher power out there, because nothing else could explain the universe. We know there is a finite amount of matter and energy in the universe, and it can be converted, even from one to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. So how did the universe come into being. Was it always there? If so explain always, as time is nothing without a refernce point. Therefore there most be an entity that either transends time or who created time, and therefore created the universe as we know it. I don't however, believe in organized religion. I believe it is the downfall of modern civilization. That being said, I respect those people who do believe, so long as they don't try and push there beliefs on me, and so long as they are moral people. People who use religion as an exuse to do evil things are some of the most evil people in the world. Osama Bin Laden and George W. Bush come to mind. I remember that interview when Bush said that God told him to go into Iraq. I was extremly mad when I heard that. Wow, now I've opened a can of worms havn't I?
Anyway, as for not believing in god and still being a moral person. You can absolutely do that. I believe in a higher power, but even if I didn't, I could still believe in ym own personal moral code. I believe following one's conscience is what makes someone good or bad. So ya, cheating is wrong because it is breaking someone else's trust and therfore causing emotional harm to another simply for your own personal physical gain. This is wrong no matter what religion you believe in, and even if you believe in no religion at all. It's part of human nature to have a conscience, it has nothing to do with religion. Even if you believe there is no afterlife (which to be honest with you, I don't know if there is or isn't, and I don't even think about it that much, because I don't believe it's our place as mortals to try and understand a higher power), you still follow your conscience because it is the right thing to do. I don't know about you, but when I do what is right, I feel good, and when I do something that I know is wrong, I feel terrible for a long time. That's what makes us human, the ability to care about each other, not to care about a specific deity. Listen to the lyrics of John Lennon's song "Imagine", it has some of the most powerful lyrics I have ever read. It talks about caring for one another and doing what's right now, not waiting on the future or some god to save us in the afterlife.
The weird thing is I was raised catholic and went through the catholic school system. Maybe christianities strict rules that don't make any sense and have nothing to do with morality, as well as how much the bible contridicts itself, is what turned me agnostic. I think all religions have there strengths and there weaknesses, but I just don't think any of them are for me. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:25:13 AM | | That is so true my friend cheated on her husband and it didn't just eat away at me but at her ...I told her to just get it over and tell him ..It might help what was wrong in the first place and why she cheated.. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:34:05 AM | When man invented the gods, it was done to reign in the base instincts lest we continue killing each other freely. Thus, killing a fella to eat his share of the food went by the wayside along with screwing anything you wanted because you had an erection. DOH!
I believe, that given the proper factors/situation, everyone and anyone, regardless of gender, would have sex with someone who is not their significant other.
I personally have never considered it since college, but have had many opportunities, I am sure. I am not some high and mighty evolved man. It's just simply that I am the type to either be happy with my SO, or to be single. I dont believe in dwelling in the middle of those two 'places'. It's people who do that cheat. Why? Better offer!
Chaz | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 6/29/2007 3:47:31 PM | | I have never cheated in my life and never will . I believe in open , honest communication , which unfortunately is so rare nowadays. | |
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h1j5z
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Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 95 | |
| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 6/30/2007 8:09:07 PM | What a great forum question...
First, I think you wrong about some animals not being monogamous...I believe that there are examples of some, but overall they make up the vast minority.
Second, this is what I think...
Yes, I believe we evolved. Love is an emotion , a chemical genetically programmed into our being. But as you said in the orignial post. sex does not equal love...I guess libido equates more to sex than love does..but overall I think that yes, love, chemically speaking, is a survival mechanism. I do not belive that this in any way contradicts faith...if God uses evolution in order to create man than this sort of genetic programming would be necessary and in retrospect offer an even more extraordinary example of God';s infinite wisdom..if you believe in God.
I could go on and on, but I am going to leave it at that for now... | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 4:32:55 AM | In the insect kingdom particularly bees and spiders- the males that are monogamous do it just once and die and the rest of the males remain virgins all their lives  | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 4:46:33 AM | | i cant beleive that you can be happy if you sleep with different person...if you have one person that you like or love , you should take care of that person. Sex is good but making love is simply wonderful. So ...you do what you want but i know you can truly be happy if your with the one you love . | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 2:51:39 PM | | It is hardwired in a man's genes (no not jeans) and it's called procreation of the species. | |
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| Are men wired to cheat?
Posted: 7/25/2007 11:20:27 AM | | No more than women are. In fact, women seem to do it more often than men. | |
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