| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 2:47:35 PM | Of course, the woman is always wrong
Men should be able to drool over other women and it should be okay with his date | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:28:02 PM | Sorry, I just had to laugh at the story.. not the fact that you went out for dinner with a clear winner, but the fact that I've never seen/heard anything like it..
No, you shouldn't give him another chance.. you guys were clearly on a DATE.. who the hell leaves their date to talk to an acquaintance that they are "ga ga" about?
Real nice guy there, there's plenty of threads about self proclaimed nice guys.. Shouldn't the complaint of being a nice guy set of warning signs? No girl or guy needs to proclaim to the world he/she is whatever the hell he/she is..
Drop him.. don't give him another chance.. I sure as hell wouldn't give a girl another chance if she pulled that on me.. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:24:08 PM | It seems to me that if you'd been a little more captivating and enthralling then maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to go chat with some other woman...rather than just devalue this man and demonize him to mask your feelings of rejection and loss, perhaps you might want to perform a "date post mortem" to analyze what you did wrong. Were you asking him things about him or just machine gunning his poor stunned brain with your own problems and issues? Were you licking your lips occasionally, softly and unobtrusively, lightly touching his forearm, or wrist or penis to show your interest in subtle nonverbal ways? Were you suggesting he drink his alcoholic drinks faster and gulping if he'd like because you like a man who can get really drunk on a first or second date and open up all of his feelings to you while brain stunned on vodka martinis? Finally, were you telling him that no matter what base, degrading, and sexually disgusting things his most needy girlfriend used to do to him to keep him interested that you would do even worse and make hyena sounds while doing them?
Hon, don't always look to someone else to blame. Seriously. Change starts at home.
(just kidding, you did the right thing!) | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:31:08 PM | You did the right thing after doing the wrong thing (dating him).
But out of sheer curiosity, how long was he away from the table talking to the "friend"? I assume it was more than 3o seconds!!! | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:34:35 PM | hey tiny why waste a good drink. drink up and hit him over the head with the empty glass  | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:46:19 PM | I've never dumped a drink or anything else on anyone. And yes, I've had my share of less than stellar experiences. I just don't think that would be called for, I can always walk away with my dignity and self respect in tact. What they do with their dignity and self respect is none of my business. He was rude, true, but I would never make a scene or call everyone else's attention to what's already a bad situation.
If someone touches me or grabs me, that's completely different! | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:01:43 PM |
lightly touching his forearm, or wrist or penis to show your interest in subtle nonverbal ways?
Ooh baby!
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:50:15 AM | He is a jerk and you were right to block him.
Sure, he can acknowledge his 'friend' not to be rude to her, but his dinner is with you.
The whole idea of dating someone is to get to know them, and the only way to get to know someone is to give them your undivided attention.
What this bloke did was totally over the odds and downright rude.
And having the hide to say you embarressed him? You're well rid of the fella.
NB. Bob... very cool post...loved the tag... | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 1:01:25 AM | of course the guy shouldn't have ignored his friend *BUT* (and thats a big but)
he shouldn't have up and left his date for however long either!
why can't he say a quick hello and return to the date , or better yet introduce the date to the friend?
I would find it very rude if someone left me sitting at a table by myself for a long period of time while I was supposed to be on a date.
I don't know what I would do since thankfully I haven't been in that situation but I'm sure I'd be at least tempted to leave so I don't fault the OP for doing so. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 2:02:51 AM | I hope your not really considering giving this guy another shot. As other's may have said, you were his date. The person he had set aside time to meet is you. Of course you did the same. Running into friend's happen's all the time, I doubt this was a "friend" though, so intro's and pleasantrie's are exchanged. Maybe later all can meet up, but you should have been the center of his attention. If he can't keep adate with you and run off to chat with other's in a "formal" dinner setting, where does he go from there? Standing up for yourself and requiring to be respected is never a bad thing. I'd say you did the right thing, both way's.
I don't think a nice guy tag is a bad thing, but player on the other hand....... | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:32:16 AM | | You did the right thing.....any man who even stared at a woman during a date with me, would not get a 2nd chance. Call me selfish or vain...but I think it's just common courtesy. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:39:26 AM | You must be a rather slow angel. If this guy did not deserve to be embarrassed, or even deserving of an explanation from her, why did he not INTRODUCE the two of them to each other?? Best bet would be for her to introduce him to YOU...you are wo understanding of such men. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:42:49 AM | The only thing that surprises me here is that you even ask if you did the right thing.
And how does one get "dumped" on a first date? Dumped is when your mate of a year drops you. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:57:34 AM | aspiring_angel said...
I mean you totally embarassed him! I'm shocked he didn't block *you*
ACTUALLY I would say HE embarassed YOU by paying too much attention to another woman (friend or not) whilst on a date with you. It's really not cricket. It would be acceptable for him to say hello to her but really not ok for him to go off and leave u alone whilst chatting to her minus you. Thats just plain rude. You were right to leave. He needs better manners. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:30:17 AM |
We chatted online, he complained that he was a "nice" guy and women wouldn't give him a chance.
Funny...I thought he said he was a "nice guy" <---I hate that word
I'm a nice guy, but I'm not a damn door mat and I strive to be attentive to my date.
What he did was rude, but more importantly it was inconsiderate. Did he goof...yup...and while I don't know the whole story, I can at least take from you post that you were insulted and had a lousy time.
Second chance...your call altogether. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:17:46 AM | | SOrry Bob, but if he wanted to go out again then obviously she was being interesting. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 69 | |
| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:03:06 PM | There have been a few occasions when I wish I would have had the chutzpa to abort mid-date.
Not knowing what this guy’s relationship with other woman is/was, how long he was talking to her or how he was acting, etc., it’s hard to judge him. If he left you to talk to her for any length of time he displayed poor social skills. Whether or not it’s grounds to reject him only you can decide. If he ran into her on his way back from the men’s room and it was a quick hug, ‘hi how are you; how is your brother’ and you got up and left - then you overreacted and your social skills leave something to be desired.
If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t put money on a successful second date. | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:40:53 PM |
No wonder why he is still " alone" ....... any real nice guy wouldn't have did what he did which showed a lack of consideration
If being alone is any real excuse for condemnation on a dating site would someone please clue me in?!?
Or has someone "have did" that already? | |
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Eno75
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 71 | |
| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 2:31:40 PM | First of all, you make it sound like you were long term dating with the intention of getting married. You were on a SECOND DATE and it barely sounds like you even liked him anyway. I think you were just upset that it wasn't "all about you" and if that's the way you wanted it- maybe you should have told him before hand.
And yes- he could have been a bit more tactful, but here you are in here explaining your actions to us... instead of him. I - personally - think you took the low, immature road but then again we all do things we can potentially regret when we feel slighted. I know I have my moments, and do things my way... too.
What it feels like to me is that you were looking for an easy out with this guy you barely liked and found it as soon as he took his attention away from you. It sounds like it was an ejection handle for you to pull to get out of something you weren't interested in anyway. I know this is opposing just about every other post in here... but that's the way I see it.
Eno. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 72 | |
| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 2:45:43 PM | ^^ I was going to say that, but I was practicing my social skills.  | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:24:33 PM | Now I dont approve of what either of you did, but maybe he asked you out for a second date cause he thought something was there. During the course of your date he could sense you had no attraction towards him other than friends, and by the way you describe your feelings for him he was right. When he saw his friend he probably thought you would not take offense to it and went to say hello.
I was wondering if you thought this guy should feel lucky to be out with you? The reason I say that is because you tell of how he never get girls because he is too nice. Now that he is out with you he should be grateful and pay all attention to you. When you saw that he does know other females that put you on a more equal level position, which you did not like and said to hell with this I'm out?
I dont know this guy but I'm thinking someone who msg you, tells personal things about their lack of relations with women, and asks you out again for a second date is someone who is not going to risk it all by saying hello to a friend. He even called you the next day to explain. If you did that to me I would not even bother to call you because I could get another date. For him it's difficult, and being the nice guy that he is he called to fix the situation.
Then again I have been wrong before.
Dallas | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/21/2007 4:47:37 PM | What's odd about this, is how he said that he didnt know why women didnt give the nice guy a chance.....
whay a hyprocrite.. his actions prove that he is NOT a nice guy...
to be honest, she was probably an ex, or someone he was hoping for a relationship with!
I would say he's not that into you, sont waste the pretty!!!!!!
~N~ | |
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| Dumped mid date!!
Posted: 3/22/2007 1:34:43 PM | You did the right thing. I'm glad you embarassed him and hopefully he learned a lesson.
I had a similar situation in which I met a woman for a second date - she actually asked me to take her to see a band at a bar and she told me that she was a natural flirt and not to get upset if she talked to her friends throughout the evening. That was fine with me, but to make a long story short, she met a guy that she had never met before, they flirted and then she came and asked me if I minded if he came with us to another bar we were going to go to. Against my better judgement, I said it would be okay and then at the second bar, she had too much trouble trying to appease both of us at the same time. Finally, I just told her I was going to leave, but that I felt a sense of responsibility since we were on the date at the start and I was leaving her with someone she didn't know. She convinced me she would be okay and so I left. The next day, she wanted to make it up to me by meeting me for a drink, but then she called later and said that she was already at the bar and the same guy was there and she didn't think it would be a good idea if I came.
Yes, I should have left her alone at that point, but eventually, we became friends, she moved in with that guy, he beat her up a couple of times and then needed a place to stay for a month while she got things in order.
The lesson I learned was once they show their true colors and it's not something you like, it's best to stay away from them altogether. I have always said that I'm just looking for friends and if something happens out of that, then fine, but sometimes, it's just not worth it.
By the way, can anyone use a female roommate? Please let me know. | |
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