| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 12:21:13 PM |
Why are you harping on about this one person, "giving them an opportunity to explain the situation" and so on?
I'm just that kind of person. I gave them one opportunity to come clean. Thought process is that maybe there was SOME reason for this that could be accepted...although I'd have to hear it to see.
I feel it's a valid wat to handle this. Someone finds potential deception, provide the deceiver with one chance to tell the truth, then move on.
This is a little different than the train ticket thief. We're all here for a reason, we interact with one another, we talk about those interactions in the forums. With all due respect, if you're not interested in the topic, nobody is making you read it or respond to it. I mean, there are far more important topics, like height, weight, etc, you can always go complain about those too, and why they're being discussed. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 12:29:06 PM | This happened to me too. I was contacted by what looked like a pretty, average sized blonde on another site. We chatted and got along pretty well so agreed to meet. Turned out her pic was a few years out of date. She was quite a bit heavier than I expected. Quite a bit. I was taken aback at first, did the date and left.
A few months flew by and she appears on this very site with the same pic up. She then starts a thread about what a guy wants to see in a profile which I thought was very ironic considering her appearance and the old pic. So I chimed in that maybe she should upload a current pic since the one displayed is not at all accurate of her appearance. She didn't like that much but within a couple of days had changed her pic to a couple of recent ones. Probably because she got caught!
Then, after a couple of months, guess what??? The old pic was back up, not a sign of the recent pics. Guess she wasn't getting any responses based on the accurate pics. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 11:04:47 PM | | We could start a tv show on deception.... and it could run forever....and we would like to believe ... that everyone is honest... but then we would only be deceiving ourselves....if one has the need to believe everything they hear.. then they will of course believe it... i am sure we have all been deceived one time or another.... but we just have to know... that to many its a game..... a feeling of empowerment...having people believe ..... or having a need to believe what they hear.. and at the same time.... knowing that not everyone is out to deceive...deception unfortunately is a part of everyday life... be it online or off line.... and sometimes.. all we can do is build a bridge and get over it ... | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 2:04:30 AM | | Oooooh I don't think I was deceived, I know I was!!! I saw a guy from here a couple of times and there was a huge situation with him, this girl, and another "guy". Long story short it was all the same person. Took me only a couple seconds once I had all the profiles pulled up and started to compare facts. The funny part is that just recently I dropped down by like five people in one day off my favs list and low and behold, all of the "people" had closed their profiles.......Go figure. And yes I said five, still not sure if two of the others were him too but knowing now what I do about it, I can't be sure if it was coincidence or not. | |
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atlast
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Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 2:59:22 AM | Yup. Me too. I can't help but wonder if some of these people live in a fantasy world where everybody is pretty and fit, and nobody has an ugly personality. I believe we could break down the people on POF into three groups:
1. Real People-honest, hard working people who are really looking for something and have honest profiles.
2. Fantasy Island- These people are semi-honest. They get together and party with their friends and because they all are rather large they decide they are average, and they tell each other how pretty and wonderful they are, so that's what goes in their profile. I think they account for a lot of the "no shows" because they realize they are not what they advertised.
3. Pathological Liars/Sociopaths-This group consists of people who will lie, cheat and steal to get you out with them, amd could care less the consequenses. They believe if you show up, they will win you over. They take rejection badly, and account for most of the bad experiences on POF. They flood the personals with their cut and paste profiles and emails, and cause a lot of harm.
Just my opinion. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:08:16 AM | All part of internet dating.
Good response tinydancer.
I have never been deceived with looks but personality and what they are really looking for yes.
What a damn waste of time.
You take the time to look good, go out and meet to discover they're just looking for sex.
Men have actuall admitted they post Longterm since they think thats what a woman want to hear.
LOL the fun continues.
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:03:56 AM | Ok do we have any statistics on how they lie once they meet
I had a profile on here bout a year/year and a half ago
Very descriptive wanting an (man between 30-40 average weight, living in my area)
I was looking for long term... dating was good ...go with the flow type thing...
I did specifiy i was not looking for married, or intimate encounters. For me sex takes getting to know someone ....
Date NO 1. laugh, joke, have lunch, say goodbye
second date and i quote "i drove all this way ... u owe me (okay doesnt take a rocket sceintist to figure what i owed him)
Date 2 1. Nice dinner, good conversation (driving me home "okay now that i payed for dinner ... wanna come back to my place .... and "what i ask for?" answer "we are both adults you knowwwww"
Date 3. Dinnner was a disaster, he insulted the waitress, chose my food, talk to me as if i was 5 .. and that was when he talked to me, he had od'ed on aftershave... i could go on, on the bomb this date was ... then wants to know if i want to come back to his place for some "NOOKIE" like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:24:02 AM |
We could start a tv show on deception.... and it could run forever
There actually IS one. Here in the US, at least. It's called "Cheaters", and while it doesn't have to do with deception in a dating forum, it deals with deception after already being married or dating.
I find that show interesting, in a train-wreck sort of way. It's amazing to see how crafty some people will be to deceive, and how obvious others will be. | |
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Tarika
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Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 35 | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:45:14 AM | I have not been decieved unless you count the guy who said he was 5'10 but opon meeting I had to lift him into the booster seat so he could see over the dashboard. The rest of the date was okay though I just carried him around on my hip!
Or wait there was the tall nice looking man who turned up looking better in a skirt and heels then I did... | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:16:31 AM | I thought I had met HIM on here, Then one morning we are im ing and talking on the phone and he starts getting these you make my heart melt, I hope you know cpr, Kisses ect. He has this OH Crap look on his face I ask him who it is, he says my daughter reminding me to get ready for Church. I said "Well if that is your daughter sending thouse kind of messages no wonder her husband is jealouse of you. I tell my daughter she tells her sister, she tells my 2 sisters , a retarded cousin who tells him she has been molested sense she was 6 and she wants to call him Daddy and she is only 18, ( he had claimed he could not be with a 40 year old it would be like child molestation) He got over that in a hurry and My 40 year old daughter gets on here and meets him. Set him up on a boody run. I am at my sisterinlaws some 27 miles from my daughter he is talking to me the whole trip telling me how much he loves me and how he is babysetting his grandsons, and his other daughter let him have a break, he plained on visiting one sister on Fri, One on Sat. my daughter on Sat. night, came early to her house because no one lived at the other 2 addresses, Went to where her sister used to live, The guy talks to him calls her sister and says some guy was just here to see Joyce.discribes him. He drives 200 miles towards home , She emails him about standing her up , he says he will come back if she meets him at the truck stop. She sends me all the emails and sends the last one to him that preaty well says caught. She complained several times to pof he is not on here anymore or I guess or his id is hidden. Then he still tells me he loves me, I keep talking to him to see where he is going with this, he tells me a few times how he would not cheat on me, I tell him remeber me I am the one you drove over 200 miles to screw my daughter ,t elling me you love me on the trip.He was at one time after I met him and he feel in love up to 9 favoretts, they dropped off to one, He finnaly found some woman in San Antone that will support him and off he went.Told me a tail about his brother having a paving bussiness there then told me it was an air condishioning bussiness, I kept calling him on his lies and asked him how far he was going to take it and why. He cleaned up his mail before he sent it to me so that I could not know who he was getting it from. My sisterinlaw had some good laughs over how dumb he was and the lies he made up.  Made me more aware, and more caushionate | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:45:48 AM | | Oh on my cheater he was constantly getting calls from his daughter, would get back to me in a few minutes, couple of hours later, he would call back complaining but saying but she is my daughter, and they where close. When he came up to meet me the woman of his dreams he had a job to do in Little Rock that turned into a 2 day job but they where paying him so much money because he was the best called and talked to me all the way down there and from there to ft. Smith. Where he had anouther two day job . Then did not have the money to come back and see me the naext mt. Kapt mixing up what we did togeather with what I guess he did with someone else. Gave me this line about how he had not had sex because his wife had left him for another man and told him he was no good in bed. that was 4 years no make that 5 then told my sister he lived with a woman for 2 years after his wife left him. Could not keep his lies strate, he was very intertaining, I played gee honey what lie are you coming up next with. And laughted about it with my sisterinlaw. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:54:53 AM | welcome to cyberland darlin..
where people can be whom ever they choose to be!!
doing a name check on someone after one conversation is rather odd..and It shows you have issues somewhat...
however.......
I am a firm believer in..."If it seems to good to be true...it probubly is"
I cant imagine how someone can show you that many pics of themself and you still have doubts of who/what they are though (more insecurities perhaps).....Next time you should ask if they have a web cam.
If you still have doubts after that...then you should consider talking to a professional about this..( just my opinion of course) | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:59:16 AM | Whoah...hang on a second there, terminallycute. You need to put the brakes on...NOW.
doing a name check on someone after one conversation is rather odd..and It shows you have issues somewhat...
Maybe you should have ASKED before assuming. Let's say that this person said a couple completely off-the-wall things that made me a bit suspicious. If being suspicious due to some really STRANGE comments means I have issues...then I think you need to check YOURSELF first, dear.
I cant imagine how someone can show you that many pics of themself and you still have doubts of who/what they are though (more insecurities perhaps)
Oh, so now I have INSECURITIES? Dear...you need to ask first, and stop making such assumptions. As said above, there were CLUES. Maybe you aren't good with clues, but I would truly appreciate if you'd cut this CRAP out about trying to apply this to me somehow. Lots of people have replied, had the same things done to them, so do you think THEY'RE all insecure and have issues. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 12:53:56 PM | I read what you posted and commented on what I read..
I got all the information for my comments from what what you wrote.
No assuptions here!..sorry to disappoint you!
as I told you when you sent me that note in my message box..
I call them like I see them!!
You claim to have an issue with fake people.....Most of us do!!..
however, if you cant handle the truth or others opinions .....then dont ask for it. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:28:56 PM | | I am 2 for 2 in the POF deceiver category. They either exaggerated their profiles to make themselves be more than they were and/or posted old photos of themselves. I am quite selective in who I choose to meet off of here but so far it has been a disappointment. I have settled into a new approach. I try not to invest a lot of time in getting to know them electronically, just move on to a phone call and if there is chemistry that way, try to meet them quickly and see if they are who they say they are. My last meeting resulted in the woman changing her photo and updating her photos which were like 10 years old, so at least she learned from the error of her ways. But she lost out on getting to know me, that is no way to attempt to start off a new relationship - with a lie. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:52:18 PM | I can't say that I was. I got involved in what can best be described as an interlude that totally sucked but we both walked into that one with our eyes wide open.
At first we chatted and praised each other's abilities in areas unrelated to sex. But his exact words - to which I agreed wholeheartedly so I have no qualms about repeating them -- were: "Okay, so we'll keep this up until we despise one another".
And so we did.
Any sh!t he tried to pull was extremely transparent. So, no. There wasn't any deception in my opinion. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:04:30 PM | I have a good one. My boyfriend of 9 months (now exboyfriend, but I haven't bothered to tell him that) asked me about two weeks ago if I would have his child.
A couple of days later he has a profile up on here saying he hasn't been in a serious relationship in over two years and is looking for the woman of his dreams. He works in another country so I'm guessing he hasn't a clue that I know. Deception at its finest. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:02:48 AM |
Something didn't quite feel right...that strange feeling in your gut, you know. I did a google search this morning on her Y-a-hoo ID, and it led back to a profile on here that hasn't been used since October 2006. The picture looks COMPLETELY different. Age is listed as 27, a few extra pounds. Google found it as she lists her Yahoo ID on the old profile.
I just Googled myself and then checked to see what images would come up...it wasn't even me yet they were POF memebers. So you can't go by what comes up through Google. But yeah, there's a lot of fakes and players, these people have nothing else to do obviously. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 48 | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/16/2007 1:42:06 PM | "How many think you've been deceived on here?"
I have been more deceived OUT THERE (off line) than I have been deceived ON HERE (POF)! And I do not mean "a few extra pounds", I mean "real" Deception. So let us keep things in perspective, I propose.
Peace!
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/16/2007 2:09:50 PM | | I do not know why people feel the need to lie about themselves on here. Perhaps they do not feel good about themselves as they are . Maybe lying about what they look like and who they are gives them some kind of boost in their self esteem. I was talking to a guy on here when i first joined up ,and from talking to someone else on here lately who knows him i found out he is married. I had no idea. I wonder how many other times people have lied and i had no idea. | |
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