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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:26:31 PM | This is a textbook case of a man not thinking with the right head.
Geezus.
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:32:10 PM | No it's not a case of not thinking with the right head, I think it's the super man syndrom of rescuing a damsel in destress.
Lots of guys have fallen for it, since the begining of time. Who doesnt want to feel like the big important man? | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:39:17 PM | Blastkissed summed it up pretty well.
I will add that besides canceling your bank card there isn't a hell of a lot that you can do.
With all the threads that have been popping up lately about people getting taken to the cleaners a person would think that some of them might either have the balls to say no or the brains to get it in writing and have it notarized. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:48:38 PM | I still love her deeply, but I don't think she really misses me. My sister reccommends taking her to court to reclaim the car loan, but I'm afraid if I do that I will never have another chance with her again.
Yeah ...call me "old fashioned" , but , a law suit just might throw a bit of a wet blanket on the romance.... lol
I would say you should talk with her and if she does not make a real effort to make good ...you should have nothing to do with her except to try to recoup what she owes you. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:53:52 PM |
ended up dating my counselor dude what are you doing dating your counselor? this makes no sense. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:15:03 PM | This woman sounds to me like a very "smart cooky" unless of course all of a sudden ( I doubt it) she became the type of person everybody thinks she is by a temporary mental lapse from losing her job otherwise, the chances are that she did it before.
If you find her work history along with any legal court records you will have the peace of the puzzle that you need to make your decision. I am assuming you have enough of her information to start searching those databases. Compare those records with the stories she already told you ... if start smelling funny don't eat her cooky and file ASAP the court papers.
PC2000 | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:19:21 PM | | have you heard the old saying fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me . the first time i can understand wanting to help out someone you care about but then she kicks you out and again you give her money? do you like being used and playes for a fool ? because that is exactly what she did . you might as well kiss that money good bye .why would you want another chance with this woman ? she scr*wed you over really good . | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:36:17 PM | I am just wondering where to log this one...
this is like the third thread I have read today that seems to be, "self promoting".
It seems as though you have just found another way to do it...
Poor guy, seems like a real sweet heart. loves to give. thoughtful and all....
Or the second thing that comes to mind. How could anyone be that stupid! Is there really people out there that are this dumb? I don't want to believe it!
But if this is real, and is true, No one is to blame but the poster. You made the decision to give her the money. You did this to your self. Stupid is as stupid does.... | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:40:45 PM | | Hardbody....you should take your sisters advise as hard as it may be. This woman is just out to use you...I'm sorry, it must really hurt. | |
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neil89
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Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 61 | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/22/2007 10:27:59 PM | I can't believe this kind of stuff actually happens to people!!
Hardbody,
PLEASE go back and reread your original post to the thread. She is clearly using you!
Your first mistake was giving her 10,000 after 3 weeks. Once that was done, you sold the deal for her. She knew she could get any type of financial assistance from you from here on out.
So, what does she do next? Moves you in and has you pay her way.....and as soon as she gets a free check from somewhere else, she kicks you to the curb because she really doesn't want a relationship with you...she just wants the money.
Next thing you know, she needs more money. So, she gives you some sob story about missing you and loving you only to get more money.....and boy oh boy, not only does she get more money, but she actually gets the dam bank card!! This woman is a pro!
What were you thinking?
This is not love. You are trying to convince yourself that it is love, so that you can justify why you have allowed this woman to play you so hard and to help stay in denial about the situation.
It's time for you to get your head straight, get at least some of your money back, and get away from this girl!
and I am laughing my @ss off at Fry's comment!  | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:12:02 AM | "I'm at war with myself and it's making me cry, because of how good she can make me feel. I love her so much, and if I go through with this it will put a definate finality on us."
kanona answered this well with:
"This is not love. You are trying to convince yourself that it is love, so that you can justify why you have allowed this woman to play you so hard and to help stay in denial about the situation."
Put an end to it. This is not love, this is using each other. You use her to feel good about yourself. This "councilor" used her skills to manipulate you. I know it hurts, but you have to face it. Until you do, you are not going to get on with your life and as another previous poster has already brought up, YOU have TWO kids. Those kids should be what make you feel good about yourself. Those kids need a father that is WHOLE and will teach them how to cope in the REAL world. | |
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JL258
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Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 65 | |
| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:18:58 AM | honestly, the best thing you can do is
cancel the card
live and learn
never do something that stupid ever again!
you could possibly contact a lawyer about getting some money back, but if you gave it to her as a present, she's under no legal obligation to repay it.
honestly man, you messed up. BIG time. don't be so trusting of someone you've only been dating for 3 weeks and met you in a time of crisis.
it seems like she was looking for someone vulnerable, found him, and kicked him while he's down. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:59:10 AM | I can understand what u are going through, i was with a guy who no matter what he did to me, i kept wanting more....I was deeply in love with him and would have given my left arm to have another chance with him...he used me...as a fallback girl, to enhance his social life, to listen to all of his problems without even wanting to know a single one of mine...If i had loads of money, i would have given it to him...
I now know that he only wanted me when his own life was going badly...he didnt love me..
I just had to say...ENOUGH!!!
Its hard...especially if u love the person...in my case, everyone could see that he was doing the wrong things to me...i was just a sucker for punishment...my family often commented that i had changed so i hid my relationship with him from them...when things were going good, with him, id spend all of my time with him and completely forget about the people that cared about me...id go weeks without phoning anyone or seeing my parents...
All im saying is that as hard as it is, take this advice from someone that knows first hand....she doesnt love u if she treats u this way...Please dont go back to her...be strong...
smiles for u
yas | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:33:39 AM | | When I originally loaned her the money, no I hadn't known her that long, but I thought I was being smart about it. I did wire transfers when she originally wanted cash, and I kept other records thinking if anything ever happened I'd just take possession of the car. I didn't expect to fall for her as hard as I did, and she originally agreed to a healthy interest. Then when she lost her job, I just thought it would take some time, but she'd still pull through with our agreement. My only questions began after she got her cheque and kicked me out. and in reply to lolashy, I said in my OP that I recieved a car settlement payout 3 weeks after meeting her. I was broke before that and that is why I lost the house in the first place | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 2:52:27 AM | | ....this is an absolute disgrace.... i'm reading between the lines here and can see two very vulnerable people.... she is wrong to have dismissed work ethics and to have crossed the line with enabeling a relationship with you... something i bet she regrets now...... she probably feels like the money that you have given her is a small compensation for loosing her job, self respect etc..and it is human nature to want to reclaim something from all this mess.... you are right to assume that you will never have a relationship with this woman again, rightly so too, you need to see this situation for what it is and stop focussing on the fact you had a few good times when neither of you had much else? it's up to you how you want to deal with it, personally i am all about peace and love and would patiently wait for her to rebuild her life and one day be in a position to pay you back the money you feel she owes...... taking her to court now when she has nothing is spiteful and cruel... and shows your immaturity..... it takes two... be a better person..... and learn from this x | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:22:32 AM | | these were 2 adults who chose to get into a relationship with each other . if she lost her job then that was her own fault he did not force her into a relationship she chose to do it . her being the professional she was more at fault here . he does not owe her any money for her losing her job . i think he was extremely foolish for letting himself be conned by this woman and i dont think even if he takes her to court he will ever see a penny again . she has not right to claim any money from him . she is a grown woman and if she didnt like the situation she was in she should of gotten out or better yet used better judgement and not gotten involved with a client. she will never pay back this money so he might as well just accept it because she never had any intent to pay it back. i dont think him wanting to take her to court makes him immature it makes him seem as if he want back what was promised to him .your post reeks of man hating and bashing . i dont know what happened to you in the past but believe it or not not all men are slime balls who deserved to be taken for everything they have . you really need to get over whatever issues you have with men.that being said to the op next time keep a closer watch on your wallet and dont let yourself be conned . keep your eyes open because there are a lot of people out there looking for a meal ticket.taking money from someone in a homeless shelter is just wrong . | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 6:37:25 AM | hardbody;
Take your sister's advice. Get an attorney, do what you must. It's over, and it's pretty obvious to most of us out here that she used you for money---not the first person that's ever happened to. Think about it---doesn't it make you angry that someone played with you like that? Angry enough to take back that which was taken? If you kept records, you've got a decent shot at it, unlike most guys in your position. RECLAIM YOUR LIFE! You owe yourself that much. Best of luck! | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 6:56:09 AM | 452;
The only thing you've said I might disagree about would be whether or not he could recoup some of his money. You're spot on with the rest---2 consenting adults started a relationship, and he got conned.
As for whether or not he can get that money back, that'll depend on the laws in BC. Here in Florida, I do know that he could bring her into court, and with records at least he would have a fair shot at it. At the very least, he'd show the world (or anybody that cares) he will stand up for himself, and she couldn't avoid him on this. She either shows up or is found in default, and he can take her to the cleaners. With those records, no judge could simply dismiss it as a nuisance suit, either, and (again, here in Florida) he could even seek punitive damages.
Your input on this thread was great, though. It's terrific to see a lady with such balance. Hope your search is going well---you'll make some gent very happy to have you one day ;-)
Best 2 U~ nicebluiz | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:04:27 AM | | Wow, unfortunately I think this woman has abused you! And she is a counsellor in a shelter? Wow, I really think you should report her behavior and that you should take legal action to reclaim what is yours! And don't belive for one minute that what she is "feeling" for you is love, as tough as it is to hear.. that's called dependency and your just enabaling her to continue to take advantage because you are in love with her. You must take this opportunity now to reflect on what has happened and see it for what it has become. Not a mutually repectful and loving relationship. I'm sorry to hear thru your words that you are in pain and hurting, but you must think of yourself first and move on.. I know it's hard to hear but it's reality. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:06:50 AM | You got played.. you got sucked in by a weeping willow as I call them..
fund someone without the baggage and you'll be better off.. Unless dating problems is your things.. so you can feel good about yourself. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:19:07 AM | | Are you kidding? If you want to hand out money and nothing else send it my way. | |
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| how would you handle this
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:31:00 AM | Someone had a thread the other day asking, "Am I really that stupid?"
Dude, you are really that stupid. Stop it, now. | |
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