| | Did i just set back the women's movement?Page 4 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | This is the classic case of women being well...dumb. Ok, well if you can't tell I am a girl...lol. Every girl wants a guy out there that doesn't just date them for their looks, etc. They want someone to like/love them for their personality!!! Well, if that was the case some hot hollywood actress would be dating the ugliest guy you have ever seen. So it is good to have someone who you are physically attracted to that also hopefully, has a great personality. I'm sorry it is sad, but looks are everything in our world. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:13:36 AM | Regarding message #39, nora's response:
Why is it that THIS particular guy is the one you want so badly? He obviously has different interests than you do. You want a normal physical relationship with someone you find interesting and you are attracted to. But he isnt 'into' the same physical stuff as you are. This is a huge part of his character and personality. He's told you he'd had the same circumstances with past girlfriends, and its 'their' problem. He just lumped you in with the rest of them, in that he doesnt need to or want to change that part of his life.
This guy is obviously not going to change, and would you really want him to change something so drastic about his personality? | |
|
| |
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 3/29/2007 4:13:57 AM | > Good way to sabotage things ... get some therapy
I don't think you get a much better answer than that.
Kewlpeeps... I couldn't agree more. Beautifully put. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 3/29/2007 4:19:42 AM | > Why is it that THIS particular guy is the one you want so badly? He obviously has
> different interests than you do. You want a normal physical relationship with someone you
> find interesting and you are attracted to. But he isnt 'into' the same physical stuff as you are.
> This is a huge part of his character and personality. He's told you he'd had the same
> circumstances with past girlfriends, and its 'their' problem. He just lumped you in with the
> rest of them, in that he doesnt need to or want to change that part of his life.
Hmm gee... yes, lets analyse this. Clearly its his fault, yes... fat girl with man who's not honest with himself.
The only thing I see wrong with this guy is his lack of honesty. He should of just said what he thought right from the very start? *grin* I would. You women always think us honest men are a*sholes? Well actually, you think nice guys are a*sholes too so? Looks like honesty wins in this round.
But gee... lets see... just maybe, he might of had a bad childhook experience with an animal as a child, which repressed his cognitive ability and created anxiety attacks, which led him to be insecure with his personal self and his inner child. Maybe he couldn't reach into his feelings, because his mother wasn't around which created yearning child syndrome and his found a hard time relating emotionally.
Or maybe... She's just FAT.
Pick one. | |
|
| you are insane
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:29:37 AM | You are insane. I am not fat. PLUS his last girlfriend was 300 lbs. So, especially in his eyes I am not fat.
I am a size 10. That is not fat, it is... cuddly | |
|
| you are insane
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:58:30 AM | Having been through gastric bypass, myself, I understand where you are coming from. They say it takes at least a couple of years to wrap your mind around your new body. From your later post, it sounded like you were wise to kiss him goodbye. Keep taking good care of yourself and don't let the negative comments get you down. We had a hard journey and noone that hasn't been down that path will ever understand the work we did. You look fantastic.
Stormdancer | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:43:36 AM | MY GOD PEOPLE..........this man told her he didn't like how she looked and made a point NOT ONCE, but several times to let her know in no uncertain terms that the OP's body does NOTHING for him ........and she is WRONG????
PAHLEEEEZE!
a man sees you have pierced ears and makes comments often on how much he hates any piercing at all and likes an all natural woman?
a man sees you have blonde hair...and tells you often how much he hates blonde hair and really prefers brunettes?
a man sees you have a flat a$$ and tells you how he is an A$$ man and loves big ROUND a$$es?
a man sees you have brown eyes and says he really is not into women with brown eyes LOVES BLUE EYED girls................???
a man sees you have a very flat chest and makes comments on how he’s a breast man and how BIG BOOBS turn him on……..????
HOW DOES THAT SOUND WHEN PHRASED IN SUCH A MANNER AS ABOVE ?
hmmmmmmmm........What is the purpose of those comments??? Either he is an idiot….or he’s an IDIOT!! You choose!!
OP,
My ex made it a point to tell ME and anyone who would listen how he loved dark-dark women and how light skinned women did nothing for him. “I don’t like light skinned women”, was his favorite line. HOW IGNORANT! Trust me, no matter what “issues” you may be dealing with on the inside regarding weight loss, this man showed you the truth of exactly who he is and chances are in his eyes you would have been lacking and everyone knows you can "FEEL" that from a partner........TRUTH IS ................SWEETIE, YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Diva
p.s
I think you are completely mis-reading what it is you wanted from this man. It's not as though you wanted to be a sex object or objectified in any manner, it's this simple.......who in the hell doesn't want to be thought of as sexy by their partner?? IF any of you are out there.........do please stand and be counted. odd, but I'd love to see who you are! | |
|
| Thank you
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:54:51 AM | | Thank you for the support. I don't know why so many people on line are so nasty. I appreciate it ladies and I do not think I need therapy. Since we broke up, haven't missed him and he hasn't contacted me to say he misses me so... I think that says it all. The right decision was made. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:49:16 AM | > MY GOD PEOPLE..........this man told her he didn't like how she looked and made a point
> NOT ONCE, but several times to let her know in no uncertain terms that the OP's body
> does NOTHING for him ........and she is WRONG????
Oh... didn't read that. Was that in the main topic? I missed that bit.
> a man sees you have pierced ears and makes comments often on how much he hates any piercing at all and likes an all natural woman?
Yes, yes... natural sounds good.
> a man sees you have a flat a$$ and tells you how he is an A$$ man and loves big ROUND a$$es?
Hmm... yes yes... round ass is nice.
> a man sees you have brown eyes and says he really is not into women with brown eyes LOVES BLUE EYED girls................???
Err hmm... yeah, Blue eyes is nice. Yes, I like Blue eyes.
> a man sees you have a very flat chest and makes comments on how he’s a breast man and how BIG BOOBS turn him on……..????
Yiya... yes yes... Big Boobs... nice... nice... I like Big Boobs... Big Boobs are nice...
> HOW DOES THAT SOUND WHEN PHRASED IN SUCH A MANNER AS ABOVE ?
Yes Yes... nice... sounds nice...
> hmmmmmmmm........What is the purpose of those comments??? Either he is an idiot….or he’s an IDIOT!! You choose!!
Gee... now thats not very nice. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:25:21 AM | the guy wanted to dump you and he found a passive-aggressive way to do it.
he figured that insulting you ~ particularly about your body, where he knows you will react ~ would motivate you to do it for him. this way, he didn't have to go to the trouble of expressing his desire to end the relationship.
his ploy worked and he feels empowered by that. i just wish you had called him on it. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:32:04 AM | Junipermoon, good point!
I'm sorry psignosis, if I had known it was YOU......i would have used the word...."INTERESTING".......yes, that's it, the man was INTERESTING.........!
Better? | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 6:35:50 AM | It sounds like you are looking for approval....from your father AND from men in general. RELAX - you'll get a lot of men who will comfirm your beauty in the future...Trust me!!
 | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:06:57 AM | Message #2
Your like, totally insecure... hot cold... hot cold... will I... won't I... sheesh... Sounds like you need to get laid. Its called a penus. Its a great thing. You should try it one day.
Its a penis, you have one and should maybe know how to spell it 
OP - You know, I think you're feelings make sense. I mean, if you have spent a lot of your life heavy, and now you are not, naturally you are going to have some issues to deal with psycologically. Give yourself some time to get used to the new you. Try not to seek validation and approval from others, and get used to and fall in love with the new and fabulous YOU! Maybe even some counseling wouldn't be a bad thing. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:30:42 PM | | Sounds like you found every fat girl's dream and you threw it away. Oh well, you've lost weight so you'll probably be able to find a normal guy. Some lucky chubbette will end up with him. Its a happy ending. | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 5:45:11 PM | Typical....... Just typical.
If i read the O/P properly......
You want someone to see you as a productive female.....not just cuz of your big boobs....
BUT.then your pissy when he say's boobs don't thrill him.
Go figure.....
Just like the ladies who get plastic boobs to give themselves more self esteem......but then get pissy when guys say ..hey.nice rack.
Never ceases to amaze me.
Figure it out ladies......Do you want to look like a sex object......or be treated with respect. You cant have both!!!! | |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:04:30 PM | | I honestly think he dropped you because honestly him insulting and disrespecting you can only lead to one effect. From the way it sounds you also may have some attitude issues with unrealistic expectations. I am NOT saying that to be mean, but only you know the true answer. I hope you can find someone in the future. | |
|
| Happy Ending
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:30:42 PM | Thought I would tell you how the stories ends, in case you are interested.
Apparently there IS someone for everyone! I found a man you finds my body incredibly hot and sexy, he loves the boobs, compliments me daily, AND respects my mind. I am dating an incredibly nice guy whom I am attracted to and FINALLY had sex after 18 months! I (we) are VERY happy! Yeah! And I didn't need therapy or shock therapy or nothin!
I just had to realize I deserve a great guy and let him in my heart. So, no more love questions from me (i hope!)
The End | |
|
| Happy Ending
Posted: 5/20/2007 6:33:12 PM | HEY, I know we don't read on comment anymore on this thread, but... just thought I would give a follow up. The guy I am dating, who is a complete gentleman and truly likes me for me... well, in bed this weekend he told how huge my boobs were and how much he loved them.
My point being, I CAN be respected for who I am while turning on my lover with my body. I can't BELIEVE I spent any time agonizing about that other guy. It is so obvious now, I deserve the full picture and I got it. | |
|
JWA
| | Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 94 | |
| Happy Ending
Posted: 5/21/2007 3:43:23 AM | ^^^Thank you---------you've made us all deliriously happy and soooooooo glad you've found true love in bed with a guy who admires your boobs!! What a catch, what a gal, what a life!!
You Go, Girl!! | |
|
| ?
Posted: 5/23/2007 4:27:46 PM | JWA
Jealous much?
| |
|
| Did i just set back the women's movement?
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:41:29 PM | Looks are absolutely a part of the mystery of chemistry and sexual attraction, so either this guy is lying to himself or to you. Lying is strong, but you you know what I mean.
I don't think you're being superficial at all, wanting a man to celebrate your new body with you. Guys might not get this, but if a woman goes through life NOT being noticed, complimented, etc., she's going to crave it. I think it's just how women are wired. I feel a certain empathy for you, because as a woman over forty, I've become invisible to some degree. I've heard overweight women say that they feel invisible. It's not a great feeling, and I'm not insecure at all.
Congratulations for taking your health into your own hands, losing the weight and feeling GREAT. I think you should hold out for a guy who adores you and gushes about how terrific you look! | |
|
Home
login 
