| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:31:07 PM | @OP at first glance if there is an absence of that politely disappointed look in either of our eyes then friendship is possible and if only of us lights up pretty much know that we won't be friends, if both of us lights up ... hmm ... well ... I wouldn't know. If it ever happens I'll be sure to post an incredulous comment! 
It has occurred to me unrequited anything kinda sucks ... whether like, love, crush, hate, repulsion etc. I mean if I think he's awful I want him to return my feelings dammit! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:57:43 PM | ususally can tell within the first 30 minutes
After the initial nervousness, I'll joke around a bit and if they catch my demented sense of humour then we r go to go!
If u can't converse to me about simple things in life, well then sorry.
Ps. if i ask u a straight out question about what u do for a living and I've caught u in a lie then it's game over.
That's how I am straight forward and there r no games with me.
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:57:53 PM | I Can tell from the getgo, BUT, we have to meet, I can't tell anything over the net.
The opening convo should be more than enough to establish were it MAY go..
IC | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 4:07:24 PM | It's true the initial connection should be felt pretty quickly, that would be what we refer to as chemistry..the sight, smell, general overall appearance of a person. However, I don't put too much stock in that initial meet because people are so much more complex than that ; on their best behaviour etc ,that it really takes at least one or two more substantial meets before I will pass final judgement. So far my track record has been very harsh indeed , I am a very unforgiving judge it seems..but there appears to be hope yet just around the bend.. | |
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Adria3
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Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:33:01 PM | | I can not tell ANYTHING from talking online, or even seeing them *CLOTHED of course* on a webcam video call. I've given up that now, and don't get excited about someone till i have met them. People are very different in person then online. BUT for me I KNOW instantly if theres something between us in person. It happens BAM and i can't deny it. It's either there with a first look or it isn't.. imo | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:23:24 AM | Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.  | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:24:51 PM | I can tell after about 5 minutes if I never want to see this person again
It will take me an hour or so to decide if this is a person I want to become friends with or continue on to a relationship. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 3:26:03 PM | Totally confused and jaded....
Especially with the guys on this site
Chemistry is something I took in grade 10
My "Spidey Senses" no longer tingle. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 4:30:18 PM | men seem to know by looking at a pic...
 I just figured out how to add a quote without having to type it 
If a man thinks he's in love with you at the glance of at a picture then it ain't love it is purely lust, not to say I don't believe in love at first sight, or the possibility of something developing in the future, friends first as they say.
It has been my experience that few people have the ability to speak up when they find someone attractive and at the same time trouble accepting that the other person is interested in something less intense.
So why not just speak up if you like someone. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 8:48:35 PM | | You get correspondence? LOL. Im very good at reading body language / people in general so I'd say about 5 minutes of face to face conversation. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:30:12 PM | So let me figure this out. I have watched it play out right there in front of my eyes at Starbucks more than once as though it was a job interview. The man in the interview states what he likes, dislikes, Expects etc and the woman never says a word. Kida like online mail order or something. And then you blame it on him. Making excuses. What happened to romance? What happened to intrigue. It's all wrong.
Is there a time when the women in this room ever put there two cents in on what they expect? Not except to ask him something particular. If you do not tell him "what makes you click" he may never attempt to "make you click". Something is really not right here and everyone here should see that. It IS a two way street isn't it. Ladies (and gents) this does NOT look good. It does not work like this. Look at the numbers(similarity of reponce) not to mention the three men in here.
I don't think this "interview method" works very well. Ok when you might be looking for bruises on fruit or vegetables in the food store or, yes a job interview.
Perhaps there shouldn't even be any Q & A when you first meet.
Love and sex begin in the brain. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:17:04 PM | | it's definatly pretty quick! if you know someone in person, it can grow, but for an initial meeting, within about 5 minutes | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:27:11 PM | Asassylady. Can I point some things. I have more than once watched in Starbucks as people did their "first meet" and it seems to me that there was something so "sterile" about the way things were going. There was not feelings there. No desire. It was like a job interview where one side asked all kinds of questions from the other or one side did all of the "I like this", "I expect that", and on and on like this. These were like job interviews, not someone trying to get close to someone.
And every time I post on this I do get some reponce but not right away. People are not as quick or deep as you might expect here. Then of course Admin sneaks up and deletes it when the respoces really start to flow in. And people are no longer posting they are chatting. What happens to "intrigue", romance andf desire online is that those biological things disapear. Sorry all but high tech has just flunked biology 101. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/25/2007 2:24:55 AM | Let's put it this way, I have basically given up even trying to figure out what a man whats. These days you can go for that "coffee meet", think that it is going well and be totally wrong about it.
I have been told by guys on this site that they "List" women as far as priority level is concerned. They will hit on #1 first and if that doesn't play out, then it is on to #2 etc. Basically, they bite into a chocolate and if it is not the "flavor" that they want, they toss it back into the box and try the next one.....  | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/25/2007 2:55:38 AM | | i would say that by the end of date one if i felt anything more then friendship i would know . of course talking to them a few times on msn first is a must . | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:36:27 AM | In my case, 4 and a half months. One can not tell on first site if she/he is the one. Lush is what one feels at first sight...while love take much longer to blossom.
Why be in a rush? You have your whole life to enjoy true love.
Doc Sage  | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:42:43 AM | | Agree Doc. Lust or whatever ya want to call it is instantanious. Love, well, it will take more than a moment or two. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:45:59 AM | | I can tell in a phone conversation if I wish to meet the person, and its when I don't listen to my instincts, that I was right all along. I have been surprised at times, when I didn't think about the person and found I met a nice person, its far and few in between those moments when I find a hidden surprise. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/26/2007 4:30:18 PM | i think you can tell as soon as you look in their eye's....to me it's like some kind of feeling that shoots right to the stomach with butterflies and you think holy sh1t what just hit me.
i totally believe chemistry has to be there because i think most people can tell right away if its a there or not.....sometimes you can just tell. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/26/2007 5:14:45 PM | i think you can tell as soon as you look in their eye's...
That is a good start. It does mean you are at least semi-compatible on a physical level.
People are very different in person than online.
This is where the rubber hits the road. Real life has no rewind/edit button. What a person can/does write online is of very little consequence in the first meet. Though, it does allow for some conversation starters, and sometimes, an unrealistic sense of ease with a stranger, what the person is like in real life is what they are really like.
my instincts were usually right on the first date
Sometimes, that is all you can go on.
For me on the first meeting, I want to see the if the person is who wrote me is the person that has shown up, establish some repoire with them, and then have some fun. If the attraction doesn't happen...... C'est la vie! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/26/2007 6:36:57 PM | | That be the basic idea. clickage just happens. Chemistry can cause explosions. My preference be hang-out,become friends and see what you might see. Sometimes you just can't tell. Only time will tell. You can tell right away if you can only be whatever you both prefer. IT BE SPRING. What might blossom? Beware of lurkers. Go Folks Go. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/26/2007 6:44:20 PM | | I think once you meet face to face, you just know whether you want to take it further (more than just friendship) or not pretty quick - its chemistry... its nothing that can be explained perfectly... its just there or it just isnt... | |
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Adria3
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Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 49 | |
| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/28/2007 12:57:35 AM |
Can I point some things. I have more than once watched in Starbucks as people did their "first meet" and it seems to me that there was something so "sterile" about the way things were going. There was not feelings there. No desire. It was like a job interview where one side asked all kinds of questions from the other or one side did all of the "I like this", "I expect that", and on and on like this. These were like job interviews, not someone trying to get close to someone.
Well for one THANKGOD i've never ever been on one of these so called dates, but i'm just so not a sterile uptight person, and can generally have a good time with anyone I meet. Even if it's not a love interest persay, I can still enjoy a good cup of coffee anywhere. lol
And besides not all COFFEE meet and greets have the desire to get close to someone.. i certainly don't go with the intention of this being the one... It's a freaking coffee.. the second date then maybe get to know them on a more intimate level.. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:22:49 AM |
Asassylady. Can I point some things. I have more than once watched in Starbucks as people did their "first meet" and it seems to me that there was something so "sterile" about the way things were going. There was not feelings there. No desire. It was like a job interview where one side asked all kinds of questions from the other or one side did all of the "I like this", "I expect that", and on and on like this. These were like job interviews, not someone trying to get close to someone.
Weefishie, I think that some people may have taken what I asked a bit out of context.
What I wanted to know was, once you have corressponded with someone, and you know quite a bit about them, not just a few random things.. how many people also rely on chemistry to decide if there is a chance to explore things further..
I am a friendly outgoing person, I am the same behind the computer, on msn or in person I do not change, and I always try to make sure that the person I am meeting will feel comfortable, even if it means cracking a few jokes. I already know enough about them from previous correspondence , so no need to be asking a thousand questions to make it feel like a sterile job interview... I just want to see if they are who they portrayed themselves to be, alas not many are...
I was curious as to the chemistry factor involved, I know for me if it's not there, then we will just end up as good friends, nothing more, just trying to get different opinions from people.. | |
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