| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 1:00:15 PM | There seems to be alot of focus on the kids in this forum. But the odd thing is, she is also talking to the dog. Breaking conversation with the boyfriend, and talking to the dog!!!!!! Shouting orders? no, talking to the dog....odd
That would be very annoying, especially if its common for her to do that. Not only with her kids, but parents, dog, fish, cat, hampster, friends, mailman etc etc. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 1:05:06 PM | | Sometimes its hard not to talk to the other people in the room. Depends on the situation. If the kids are running around the house naked and about to go out the front door I think she should be able to stop them. If she leaves you on the phone for a while. Ask her to call you back when you can talk. If you hate distractions that much ask her to call you when she has no distractions. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 1:31:38 PM | | You can't say anything about the kids. Kids need constant supervision, and she, as the mother is the one who has to stop WHATEVER she is doing to handle things. Now as far as talking to whoever else is there, then absolutely, it's rude. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 2:10:08 PM | I used to have a girlfriend who did this to me, and she would talk to her sister in the room at the same time with me on the phone. She didn't interrupt me while speaking a lot, and didn't do it every couple minutes, so it didn't bother me too much. It just made me think she was nervous when talking with me so she used her sister as a clutch in the conversation.
This is when we just started dating. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 5:38:22 PM | If it happens repeatedly in phone calls, yes it's rude. A brief interuption here and there is certainly understandable when someone has young ones.
After exchanging several emails with a lady we moved on to talking on the phone. She had a daughter and broke off our conversation several times. There was no "can you hang on for second?". I'd be talking and suddenly I'd hear her talking to her daughter. I tried one more phone call and it was the same thing so I never called or emailed again. Her daughter was 13. Old enough to be taught not to interupt. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 10:41:19 PM | Know what.........I would not call her .......let her call you.....and when she askes 'hay why no call' say ummm you seem so busy with dog- kids -etc........so call me, when you want to talk to ME..... see how that works | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 11:08:01 PM | If you think this is rude maybe you should think about what you are saying. You sound selfish and maybe you don't realize how selfish this sounds. She has children and you want her to focus all her attention on you. This can be understandable in your position. Maybe you don't have children and your life is not as demanding, when you are at home. Get real, in todays world homework is very important for children (education), so is routine (sense of security), chores (responsibility), attentiveness (caring) and bedtime schedules (routine). We cannot stop being parents because the phone rang or because we made a call to a friend.  | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/7/2007 11:53:27 PM |
This is what happens when you date someone with kids.
I'm a parent and if I'm on the phone then any words I need to say to my kid takes 5-10 seconds tops. If I need to talk longer then I'll ask the person if I can call them back.
If you think this is rude maybe you should think about what you are saying. You sound selfish and maybe you don't realize how selfish this sounds. She has children and you want her to focus all her attention on you. This can be understandable in your position. Maybe you don't have children and your life is not as demanding, when you are at home. Get real, in todays world homework is very important for children (education), so is routine (sense of security), chores (responsibility), attentiveness (caring) and bedtime schedules (routine). We cannot stop being parents because the phone rang or because we made a call to a friend.
If the OP is anything like me then he's perfectly happy to have the parent tell their kid to do their homework, chores, etc. That takes like 2 seconds to do. What's rude is engaging in a lengthy conversation with someone else while still being on the phone. If a full conversation with your child needs to be done right then, then end the and call and phone them back when you're done. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 2:32:05 AM | See this is one of the reasons I prefer IM to phone conversations. You can't do the same things on the phone that you can on the computer. I can blast music and dance around, I can sing my lil heart out, I can talk on the phone WHILE talking on messenger, I can talk to someone in person while talking on messenger, I can say 'brb' and go away and uh...bake a cake! You can't do those things on the phone. Well you could but it's rude. On the phone you have to be more involved in the conversation. On messengers you have leave for a while and come back and you won't forget what you said because it's written in that nice little window. So convenient. I'm so not a phone person.
But those people who are constantly asking 'Where are you?' or sending those damn msn nudges when you don't say anything every 30 seconds... Really frazzles my nazzle! Ok what did I just say? I think it's time for bed!
and to OP, yeah it's does seem rude to do that on the phone but she does have kids. They should have her attention, not you. Maybe try talking on the phone after they've gone to bed or something.
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 7:11:02 AM | Yes, it is rude. Interruptions happen, but a person could AT LEAST ask you to hold on for a moment, or admit they are busy and can suggest a better time to talk.
If it really bothers you, tell her. She will either become aware and change it, or not... and you will just have to accept it (or not).
As for kids, yes.. the odd emergency happens. But... it does not sound like this is a case of children & 'emergencies' at all. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 2:28:09 PM | Yes, If I had a dog in my house and I wanted it outside, I would ask you to please let me off the phone. If I needed to speak to my children and you were rude, I would not want to talk to you again. My boyfriend or friend would not interupt the way we did things as a family. He would be history!
It would take more than any "two seconds" to tell my kids to do their homework . I have been there and done that already. All familys are not like "Leave it to Beaver".
Some of my children liked homework and some didn't. It depends on my child's personality. If I needed off the phone I wouldn't hesitate to let you know. Kids first, and friends second. With an attidude like that I'm sure you would not be my type. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 2:41:07 PM | yes it is rude.
kids should be taught to not interrupt ANYONE
on the phone unless they are gushing blood or
bones are sticking out.
but thats just my opinion
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 5:29:25 PM | Sorry Matty, but giving a lesson in manners is a quick turn off. Instructing a SO to 'be respectful when we are talking' is rude. Unfortunately parenting isn't something that can be put on hold while you talk on the phone. Exclusive attention isn't likely to happen until after all the kids are asleep especailly if her children are young. Instead mention that she seems busy and would it be easier if you called later, then arrange a time to talk after the kids are in bed or playing or whenever she deems a quieter time.
I do understand you point of view, my mother does it constantly and it drives me nuts BUT I also know I do it when one of my gang needs my attention. Although I try to keep it short or tell whomever I am speaking to that I'll call them back at ___.
The question is is it worth ending the relationship over? 'Cause if you tell her what you told the last girlfriend she's going to be the next ex. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 8:49:55 PM | | I think you should talk to her about it when you're not on the phone. It may or may not work. My mom does this when I call her & it drives me nuts...she'll talk to the dog or my dad or laugh at the TV. I tell her it's rude 'cause she's my mom and we've discussed it before to no avail. Just say to her..."when I talk to you on the phone, I don't feel I'm getting your full attention and I feel..." Something like that. It's worth a shot. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:44:14 PM | Discofied:
Let's see if I understand you:
She has kids and you call her at a time when she is, generally, busy trying to raise them. So therefore, she is not able to focus all her attention on you...
Did I get it right?
Perhaps, you are the one that needs to give some respect and call her at a more appropriate time.
Let ME see if I understand:
It is perfectly alright for this woman to abruptly stop a conversation in its tracks without warning and without excusing herself, not JUST to speak to her kids as you implied, but to go on to have whole other conversations with other people, INCLUDING THE DOG!!! Seems to me it's the woman in this case who needs to get a reality check on who the world revolves around.
OP, you need to tell her flat out that you think that what she is doing is RUDE, no 'ifs', 'ands', or 'buts'. Of course, mention that if she NEEDS to say something to her kids that can't wait it's alright, but also tell her its NOT acceptable to interrupt the conversation just to frig around with someone else, or even an animal that can't understand a d*mn word she's saying anyway! If she HAS to speak to someone else, whe should excuse herself like a polite individual and offer to call you back at an appropriate time, not keep you perpetually on the back burner. Worse comes to worse, start hanging up on her and not picking up until the next day if she calls.
Discofied, sorry I singled you out when there were so many others who went on this route of reasoning, I just chose one at random. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:09:06 AM | Wow, everyone really focused on the kids part. I believe the original post said she speaks to ANYONE. So ok the kids get a pass, but what about everyone else?
Now I could be wrong, but I assume the OP is not talking about the occassional 'hey get your feet off the couch' or 'wow nice touchdown'. I assume he is talking about someone starting a whole conversation.
I've been talking to a girl for a while who does this. She'll call me to say hi. In less than 5 seconds, she's talking to someone else. And it's not 'stop that'. It's 'hey, so what happened with your car? Did you get it fixed?' Or the other person in the room asks her how her day was. She'll tell them all about it while I'm still on the phone. I give it one shot 'call me back when you have more time' but she will say 'just a sec' and is CLEARLY more than a 'sec' away from wrapping up her convo. Then I just hang up. So far she hasn't gotten the hint. We will see.
It's like some people treat the person on the phone as if they are just another person in the room listening to their story. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:48:37 AM | To be in a conversation with someone on the phone...and with someone that is there in the house with you...yes ...if that's whats happening..."two conversations" the one time would be considered rude.....
If it's just a "yes you have to do your homework" response....or "no, not right now but perhaps later" etc...etc...no it isn't rude! Why people get on the phone to talk and to someone who's in the house at the same time....that just doesn't make sense. It's all been said in this thread...set a time to talk on phone...ask can you call back or can they...on it goes...But hey...if this is a continuing thing with someone while on the phone with them...MMmmmm maybe you should re-consider talking to that person...No matter children DO come first! There is a time and place for everything, including phone calls....and yes they have to understand that Momy or Daddy is busy right now, not to interrupt and so on but try explaining that to a young child......a child from ten...eleven up perhaps....
C68 | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/9/2007 9:18:34 AM | | im always doin it my partner says it does his head in ...but i do it with friends aswell can have convo with 1 an then go to another mate talk 2 her then go back to original convo with my 2st mate lol lol if yr a mum an have kids u tend to get pre occupied lol itys called life i dont find it rude just u choose t ring her at wrong time | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 5/9/2007 10:19:42 AM | | Dude, I don't care who the **** I'm talking to: if you can't focus on the conversation I'll hang up and call some other time when there isn't so much going on. Its totally rude, its another story if like something drastic happens or shes like "listen I'll need to call you back there is just too much going on right now". If I were you I would just kindly inform her that you guys should talk when she's not so busy with other things. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 7/1/2007 8:17:42 PM | I think it depends on what is going on: if she's constantly having another conversation with someone else while you're talking with her, that IS rude. BUT if you are expecting her to talk with YOU for an hour or four, you have to realize she has other things going on in her home that have to be handled.
I have a child, and I think it's good manners for her to learn not to interrupt when I'm on the phone or talking with someone else--be that at the dinner table, in the grocery store or walking the dogs. Unless it's an emergency (Mommy I have to pee, the child is hurt, the child or dog is getting into trouble, etc) or the telephone conversation is a lengthy one, it doesn't hurt the child or other family member, to have to wait until you finish a brief conversation.
We all have times when it's our turn to talk and other times when it's our turn to just listen--it's called MANNERS! I don't know what these people think is going to happen when the children go to school and have to wait their TURN for things. lol Because in the world beyond their living room no one is going to jump immediately because someone snapped their fingers--whether that someone is your 5-year old princess or your 40 year old sister.
But the parent also has an obligation not to carry on the phone conversation to the point of neglecting her home and family.
I also agree with the person who said if she has company, she shouldn't be yakking on the phone (unless it's an important, brief conversation). Very rude.
Nutt | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 7/9/2007 1:49:51 AM | Wow look at all these "ya its rude" posts... Its kinda funny when you think about it, because maybe you interupted her and her kids and the kids are kinda p'd off at you who ever you are callin on the phone. No one thought of that eh? maybe mom said... "lets do this when we get home!" .. and your phone call interupted her and her family.
whos bein rude now?? lol hey.. look at everything from every angle before ya judge. | |
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| I am curious if this is rude or not?
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:50:58 AM | | Well then she shouldn't have answered the phone if they were in the middle of something. Yes - it is rude not to give someone on the phone your attention. Hang up if you can't talk! | |
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