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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:42:52 PM | Geez! when are you guys out there gonna quit being galactically stupid??? You're being complete idiots! Women are not looking for nice ok? They are not looking for a guy that's nice. And any woman that tells you she is, call her Satan and give her a pitchfork because she is LYING to you. Get that through your thick, hard-headed skulls now!
Chivalry is gone. If you don't believe that, go to your local grocery store tomorrow and help an old lady to her car.....or volunteer at a soup kitchen....or visit at a nursing home. I promise you you will not have women come up throwing themselves at you. Why? Because none of that matters. It doesn't matter that you have a heart. It doesn't matter that you're a romantic. It doesn't matter that you can be a good provider. It doesn't matter that scores of people like you. It doesn't matter that you treat women with dignity and respect. It doesn't matter that you're a religious person. It doesn't matter that you have morals and values. It doesn't matter that you think family is important.
THE ONE AND ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS ATTRACTION! And, for some unknown stupid screwed up reason, chemistry also matters too. Attraction is not a choice! Period! End of thought. No debate. ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE! Just because you might be a great and wonderfuly guy, doesn't mean a woman is going to be attracted to you. Frankly, I don't agree with the whole chemistry viewpoint that it has to be there automatically. I've seen couples that had no initial attraction to each other, but they're happily married....some of them well over 30 years too. In other words, stop with the hang-up already on the proverbial "nice guy." It's nothing but a crutch. There are a lot of heartless, cold-blooded, insensitive, abhorrid, vindictive women out there who will have nothing to do with a guy that treats them the way women should be treated. those are the kinds you wanna stay away from lest you want to be tossed into the meat grater.
Face it........society has dealt you a losing hand...and you have 2 choices. You can either fold and come back another day, or you can take your "chips" to another casino and try your hand there. Somewhere, at some point, you're gonna hit a black jack and rake up. But as long as you keep up this stupid method, you're gonna go bust every single time. you've got to stop being the doormat, and find the caliber of women who aren't looking and intentionally seeking out guys that are losers. Then, and only then, will you get your black jack. Happy gambling! | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:55:07 PM | Oh my....I just had to respond to your post, socoj34. There may be few of us women...ladies, real ladies out there whom still appreciate chivalry, but..we're here. Look under a few rocks, bushes....
I could post something similar regarding men I've found on here, or not found "in the real world"...I have a houseful of children, and I also happen to love and follow Jesus. Either one seems to be a man repellant...but oh well...my kids are a part of me, and Jesus..well, He died for me..so I'll never forsake him.
It's easy to be cynical in this heartless society of "me first". It's everywhere....commercials scream..."you deserve it!!" (it being a new car, material things..etc). But this, my friend, is exactly what we must resist...if we want what is good, pure, and true.
If I am fortunate enough to find what my grandparents and parents had...50+ years (well, guess I'm behind the eight ball on that one)..that's all I've ever wanted...a true heart..a balding head and paunch is okay with me...I just need someone whom I can trust, and will be there with and for me until the end of time. I'm that kind, too. Best of luck to you... | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:55:17 PM |
If I am fortunate enough to find what my grandparents and parents had...50+ years (well, guess I'm behind the eight ball on that one)..that's all I've ever wanted...a true heart..a balding head and paunch is okay with me...I just need someone whom I can trust, and will be there with and for me until the end of time. I'm that kind, too. Best of luck to you...
Couldn't have said it better,I think you speak for a lot of ladies,at least this one. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:04:14 PM | i work in a nursing home....and to see loved ones come in all the time,husbands/wives and the love they show to the other person makes me melt.to see and look at old pictures of them brings a smile to my face.to have that much love,respect for each other is so rare but a dream i truly hope i find some day.
it may feel asthough we finish last,but i truly believe ''we''well find that love ''we''hope for. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:25:31 PM | | i know this is pretty random but i need some opinions from the girls, am i attractive? or is there something that i need to fix, and please be serious. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:06:11 AM | | I'm Not A Woman..But I Can Tell You This..If You Have To Ask That Question ..Your Broken...Spell With Me..C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.C.E....Good Luck. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:13:18 AM | confidence is the key!if you feel as if you are you are.everyone is attracted to many different things so that a very hard question to answer.you maybe to me and not to another for many reason.
be you and she well find you.as i hope mine well me! | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:39:29 PM | | just because i asked that question, that doesn't mean i'm broken or lacking confidence. maybe i was just curious as to what some of the ladies thought of me. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:24:21 AM | | Excuse Me.. 'sjm'..I Stand Corrected..This is a Vanity issue..If It Wasn't..It is Now. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:27:22 AM | | this is not the thread to boost your selfesteem.......it's to try to find out why nice men/women finish last in the whole dating thing!! | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:45:59 AM |
just curious as to what some of the ladies thought of me
Of one thing we may be sure - nice guys don't troll for attention in the forums. Or hijack forum threads. Or blatantly fish for compliments.
Now, back on topic...
It doesn't matter that you can be a good provider
This is the one line in msg 76 I'm forced to strongly disagree with. In our capitalist society, money always matters, usually even more than attraction. Women dumping the rich jerk in favour of the nice poor guy only happens in the movies, never in life. Any woman worth having will, of course, put a lower value on money, but it is always a factor to some extent. That's just the way our society is built, and there is no escaping it. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:23:48 AM | re: post 76..
"Chivalry is gone. If you don't believe that, go to your local grocery store tomorrow and help an old lady to her car.....or volunteer at a soup kitchen....or visit at a nursing home. I promise you you will not have women come up throwing themselves at you. Why? Because none of that matters. It doesn't matter that you have a heart. It doesn't matter that you're a romantic. It doesn't matter that you can be a good provider. It doesn't matter that scores of people like you. It doesn't matter that you treat women with dignity and respect. It doesn't matter that you're a religious person. It doesn't matter that you have morals and values. It doesn't matter that you think family is important."
BITTER MUCH?
Sseriously, it is really unfair to blame the whole world because somebody hurt your feelings and didn't appreciate you as you felt they should have.
**** Sorry, it has been so long since I quoted, I can't remember how to bracket the quote. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:09:25 PM | | woah! easy i was trying to come off with an attitude or anything like that in my response i was simply responding and nothing more. and mr. mxy or whatever, im not sick to the point where i would go onto threads and fish out compliments. maybe i would just like an opinion about myself other than my own. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:20:08 PM | socoj34
I am one of the ones that wants a nice guy and that is NO LIE... I want a guy that will be there for me in good times and in bad... Money is no priority for me... A person does not have to be rich to provide happiness... I want a guy that will treat me with dignity and with respect... If he respect me, I will respect him.... I believe in honesty is the best policy, and respect is also very important to me..... I have morals and values... And family is important to me...
Physical attraction is not the only thing that I look for....
I agree with willow55 on this.... | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:51:34 PM |
maybe i would just like an opinion about myself other than my own.
In that case, maybe you could find some way to ask for it other than hijacking a legitimate discussion thread. Maybe it escaped your notice, but this thread DOES have a topic, and that topic isn't you.
No matter what excuses you try to make, if it talks like a troll, acts like a troll, and trolls like a troll... it's a troll. And, in this case, a thread hijacker, too. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:54:20 PM | [q] if it talks like a troll, acts like a troll, and trolls like a troll... it's a troll. And, in this case, a thread hijacker, too.[/q]
...not to mention being a road tripper. Regional and local forums are just that...it would seem that the troll poster has ventured a little far north...
Perhaps a profile review request would be more appropriate. Or maybe the " Am I cute enough to date?" thread was already deleted again as redundant.
As for nice guy/gals finishing last....a finish is still a finish and being first isn't always a good thing.
My opinion has been clearly stated in other threads on this topic. Anybody who needs to advertise their "niceness" might want to rethink the entire issue. Nice will shine through without any advertising. Those who feel the need to announce their "niceness" to the world, are, more often than not, trying to convince themselves.
Edit....still can't remember how to box the quote....duh | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:03:19 PM | Willow... All you have to do is spell out the word quote between the [ ] and [/ ]....
so, you would type [ quote ] to start and [ /quote ] at the end, but without the spaces..... | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:43:23 PM | | mr. mxy and anyone else who is calling me a hijaker, troll, ect, you are blowing this thing way out of proportion. this is an internet forum thread, not a courtroom murder case so you can stop pointing the finger at me. i ask an opinion about myself on an internet thread, well laddie freaking dah! there are greater tragedies in the world! and the thread subject doesn't mean squat, i've seen forums go all over the place and completely off the subject and if you consider that a crime then go talk to your congressman! | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:43:30 PM | lmfao... too funny. Most of you are taking all of this too damn seriously lol. As for, I think it was sjm.. he probably was being sincere about the question he asked... did you look at his age.. he is 22. Still learning. Most on here are much older and been on here much longer. Lets not gang up and point fingers so damn quickly. No wonder some people don't like to post in these things.
And as for what Socoj said.. well alot of it is true about SOME men and some women. And the more all of the nice guys and gals sit around feeling sorry about why no one is searching them out.. they could be out trying to change it. There are all kinds of both nice guys and nice gals... but will the nice gals seek out the nice guy... or the nice guy seek out a nice gal. More times than not.. NO. They seem to find the ones that are fake(because of the looks), and that is why they are thinking they are finishing last.
Take a good look around at the ones on this thread that are saying they are nice. If you truly want a nice guy or nice gal... ask one of them out. Maybe they will be your match. Otherwise...do like Socoj said... pull out your chips and move elsewhere lol.
Just my two cents. Not like they are worth much anyway lol.
Norma | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:34:55 AM | I couldn't have said it better, NB, you are so right in all you've said here. You seem to have a special way of being the voice of reason for a lot of folks here, and you're right about why a lot of people hesitate to post here too.
It takes a bit of courage to put yourself out on these forums and when you do it's so easy to be misunderstood, or whatever it is that happens. You're right, we all need to take a few more moments to re-read posts before we jump to conclusions about them or their writers.
My two cents added to yours, pretty soon we'll have a nickle!
I like what crazygurl said, she's reflecting my feelings, and you too, Princess! Right on ladies! | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:27:30 AM | | Look on the bright side folks... Finishing last isn't as bad as it seems... It could be worse & not finish at all!! " meaning one never even tried to take the initiative and message someone they potentially may be compatible with and/or date worthy." | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:40:17 AM | | i've always looked at the whole nice guys/nice girls finish last saying a little differently than most. everyone seems to view it as a bad thing as in having to pick through alot of the wrong people before you finally meet the right one but i've always viewed it as ..."wtf are they complaining about " if they wern't "last" it would mean that the person would continue on their search and not be finished looking. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:43:40 AM |
did you look at his age.. he is 22. Still learning
That may be true... but even at 22 one should be able to understand that thread hijacking and attention trolling is a lousy way to make friends and influence people - and to act self-obsessed and whiny when somebody points out that he's crossed the line only makes it worse. No matter his age, if he were any kind of "nice" guy - or any kind of man at all - he would apologize for his conduct in this thread, and leave.
the more all of the nice guys and gals sit around feeling sorry about why no one is searching them out.. they could be out trying to change it.
It sounds good... but change it how? If nobody is searching for you, then nobody is searching; the only way to change that would seem to be to change oneself into what they're really searching for - to cease to be "nice." Some of us don't have it in us to make that change, and even if we could, is finding somebody (or being found) really worth sacrificing such an essential part of one's identity and becoming a "bad boy" jerk?
I won't pretend to know how the problem works for nice girls, but if a woman is looking for a nice guy, we're actually very easy to find: we're the guys who sit and listen to them talking about not being able to find a nice guy after they've been burned by yet another bad boy; and, being nice, refrain from saying something insulting about missing what's right in front of them. | |
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| Nice guys finish last....
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:09:56 PM | mr. mxy, you are being really stupid about this whole thing DROP IT!!!! none of this is an important issue but you're making it into one. if me asking a woman's opinion about myself on this thread has upset you that much, you could have at least been polite to me and explained to me nicely about how you felt but instead you start pointing the finger at me and attack me by calling me a hijacker and a troll. are you trying to tell me that treating people with respect stops when you get to a computer screen?
i know we're hundreds of miles away from one another and we've never met but even through the internet you can still treat people with dignity and respect. you dont know me so you dont have any right to accuse me of being a hijacker, that was not my intention. if i was a hijacker i would have left by now but i had intended to participate in this thread as well. and if you're still going to be the way you have been towards me, well then you have got some serious issues.
in closing, dont judge a person till you know them! | |
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| Nice guys (and girls) finish last....
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:34:58 AM | I read this article on line today and had to share it, I searched thread titles and this one seemed to work. The reason this article caught my eye is because I am currently dating....a nice guy.....a really nice guy...who has me putting on the brakes because....he's only too willing and accommodating....and it's only been 3 weeks! So read on!
Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last
By April Masini
Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the**** guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:
Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the**** guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options. | |
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