| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/13/2007 9:47:16 AM | Someone born in the wrong body often recognise they are different from a very young age. It is NOT just a sexual thing but on every level. Studies have shown that there is a difference at a genetic level so no amount of psychotherapy will cure these "freaks" (oh don't you just love bigotry, and from a nurse too!).
If it isn't for you, fair enough but these people do not deserve some of the bigoted, ignorant attitudes that have been shown on here. Very often they have gone through hell and back before they have even got to the operation stage.
I would much rather date a caring, loving man that happened to be born a woman than some of the so called "real-men" here. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/13/2007 10:07:31 AM | | a little understanding goes a long way, a transgendered female who used to be a male was more than likely born with a female brain (yes there is a difference), and also a female skeleton, but with male genitals. so you can understand there confusion about feeling that they should be female. however after saying this, no i couldnt date a transexual........ actually i could if they were my friend and it was just a fun date, but i couldnt have a relationship or sex with them | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/13/2007 12:11:44 PM |
Oh sod it! I saw 'last post by queenie81' and thought we had out very own trannydangler
HA HA only if you send me proof of the 14 inchs | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/13/2007 2:57:21 PM |
least wen I look in the mirror I know that I ve got it.I wouldnt lower myself to your level, but yes I do think theres alot to this problem as to do with mental illness.
Did you not say on the nurses thread you deserve better wages? Hence saying you were a nurse? If so, i suggest you go back to college and study this field a bit better.
It IS NOT a mental illness, it is a GENDER issue. People are born in the wrong gender, it does happen
It is not a CHOICE as someone else mentioned. It is a need, a compulsion to be the person they know that they are.
I find the freak comments and the judgemental comments hilarious. Yes we all have choices and we have the right to date who we wish, but to call someone a freak isnt kind or decent at all.
To say it is a choice is to say that someone choses to be born black, or choses to be born with green eyes. It is a genetic thing, not a mental health thing at all. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:31:53 PM |
Let them have access to psychotherapists an psychologists who can help them.
Are you sure you work as a nurse? Do you know how much gender reassignment costs? You cant have it done on the NHS You cant just go to the doctors and say "scuse me doc i'm feeling a bit womanish could i have a pussie on prescription please?" Psychotherapy would be an easy and cheap fix if it actually addressed the problem but it doesn't
Before gender reassignment you have to live for 2 years "in role" before being considered for surgery. Can you imagine going to your current job dressed as the opposite sex for the next 2 years? That takes guts! Fancy having your adams apple shaved off? How about your skull opened, forehead removed, smashed with a hammer then replaced minus a few bits for a more feminine look? No? Didn't think so.
People like that can be troubled emotionally, but two years of serious verbal/physical abuse is probably what got you there in the first place.
Something that puzzles me (since i do know a post op m-f if you hadn't guessed, and yes she is pretty.. (damn well should be for £25k total)...
If a guy dates and has a sexual relationship with a pre op transexual he's gay right?
So what does that make him when the surgery is complete? | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:51:27 AM | a few answers .. the collective are the people who make up the forum .. the regular posters.
i'm still a bit shocked at how few have spoken out against kindlys prejudice views and ignorance on this matter.
i am, however, glad to see that there are some people here who understand exactly what it's about.
my problem isn't that people wouldn't want to to date a transexual .. it's personal choice.
my problem is that there are people here making derogatory comments ....
prejudice is prejudice ..... wrong is wrong .... you condone this behaviour by not speaking out about it. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:00:52 AM | Having actually been 12 hours away from doing actually this..!!!
I didnt!
BUT if I am self analytical, it was more the fact that in the 'communication' previous, nothing was mentioned. AT ALL.
Now call me a prude if you like, but something like that, to me, should have been at least mentioned!
I think it was more the lack of information in this instance that made me back off, I felt like i had been lied to.
(I found out btw, by googling 'her' name, I dont know why, sixth sense I suppose, something didnt feel right)
and after?????
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? rubbish, try scorning a post op tranny!  | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 4:36:02 AM | | Yes we all have free will....hence why there are so many ignorant bigots around who are happy to spout off rubbish instead of taking the time to actually understand issues. An uninformed opinion is infinitely worse than no opinion. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:42:41 PM | to cailin its nothing to do with the shite you think at all,more to the point why keep going on an on about crap for,an getting involved in peoples ignorances.an going round in circles, different strokes for different folks,a lot of people on here mite think its cool to berate other people cos they dare to have other view points petty I think,but I am not a robot an told wat to say an think, FREEWILL has they say, dont cost anything,thats wat makes us all individuals   | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:05:27 PM | yes msg 67, freewill is acceptable, prejudice is not. as you said we are all individuals, but your comments dont allow some people to be just that. you objected to being referred to as 'ugly' (because you failed to understand the context in which it was written) but see nothing wrong calling some individuals 'freaks'.
you used the term ignorance aimed at people with knowledge and understanding. i think you need to get a dictionary.
you also said it was time for you to walk and leave the subject. so do just that - take a hike! opinions are good. prejudice isnt. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/14/2007 5:34:35 PM |
Keep it on track people and knock off the insults - vacations time is upon those who continue to lose decorum.
Moderator | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:28:47 AM | A simple question really.
Ladies would you date a man who was born a woman?
Guys would you date a woman who use to be a man?
If not, why not?
I prefer to react to people as people. If I found myself attracted to someone I wouldn't be worried about what was/is in their pants, I'd be much more interested in what is in their head.
Isn't it interesting how some medical conditions are mistaken by some to be totally unacceptable? Even though the experts in the particular field accept that everything is not always perfectly aligned at birth? If one is born with ANY medical condition which can be put right, then should it not be perfectly acceptable, and 'normal' to have that condition corrected?
Prejudice, ignorance, and a feeling of malice against those of us who have black skin/ginger hair/short legs/different genital formation/a speech impediment/ingrown toenails/non-standard ANYTHING is still alive and well both here in this forum and out in the big wide world.
If one falls in love with someone does it matter that that someone has a birth mark or goes bald or has a scar from surgery? It shouldn't.
It seems, though, that not all of us look Kindly on our fellow human beings, and instead of making informed, educated, kind decisions, we blank out all rationale and reason, and automatically assume that anyone who is in any way 'different' is less, or lacking, or unworthy.
I'm very pleased to see that there are people in this forum whose minds function as they should - and somewhat dismayed to see that there are some whose minds are closed and unloving.
Could I date someone who had had gender reassignment? Yes, without a doubt.
Could I date someone who lived their life in a self centred bubble of ignorance and mean spirited hostility toward his fellow human beings? No. Never. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:06:53 PM | jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jills fffff.jack got a shock,and a mouth full of cccc cos jill was a pre op tranny!!
oh im barred!! | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:39:50 PM | Its been difficult for me to answer this one...
I used to be like SJS...
I wouldn't be worried about what was/is in their pants, I'd be much more interested in what is in their head.
However...I have had a very close friend for the last 22 years who is now post op transexual, female to male. Witnessing & supporting the whole transition...I have to say in all honesty, that I believe the doctors got it wrong. ... my friend was a very disturbed individual before realignment...& now it's all done & dusted, he's worse I'm sorry to say.  ...the Drs reckoned he had a male brain in a female body...no he didn't, he convinced himself he did, then convinced them. I really hoped it was going to be the making of him, & he'd be a happy soul, but he is far from it. He's on absolute self destruct...so much so, I've had to cut myself off from him & his choosen lifestyle.
From that experience...no, if I knew someone was post op...I'd steer clear of forming romantic relations with them...& I'm sad to say that | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:56:08 PM | Does anyone remember the TV documentary on this subject a few years ago. The people in this were children, and they had be diagnosed as being trans gender from an early age. One or two of them knew and had already decided which sex they were ultimately going to be, which was the one they felt that the most comfortable with, and could relate to. One set of parents were letting the child get to it's teens, before she/he ultimately decided what to become. All of them wore the clothes of the gender they felt most comfortable in, so in a way they had already decided. The problems come, when parents force a child to act and dress male/female.
Trans gender people are not for joking about. I feel sorry for anyone, who truly doesn't know what sex they are, they can never have a normal sex life, and the pressures from society to be 'normal', must be tremendous.
Would I date one, I really don't know, as I haven't as yet met one, as far as i know. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:36:14 PM |
However...I have had a very close friend for the last 22 years who is now post op transexual, female to male. ... I really hoped it was going to be the making of him, & he'd be a happy soul, but he is far from it. He's on absolute self destruct...so much so, I've had to cut myself off from him & his choosen lifestyle.
I also have a good friend who is an F2M transguy and unfortunately there are two effects which come into play:
1: The testosterone these guys have to take make them highly aggressive and permanently horny - no different to natal guys hepped on testosterone. To accelerate their development and counteract the estrogen being produced by their ovaries, they need to overdose on testosterone and then the problems of adjusting to the new chemistry starts. They lose their compassion and sensitivity to other people and effectively become highly macho guys with the same sort of anger to match.
If anyone, male or female was boosted with such high doses of testosterone, they would react the same - it is a physiological reaction not a mental one and transguys need to learn over time how to cope with it.
2: The realignment surgery for a F2M transguy is extensive and normally begins with "top" surgery to remove their chest (breasts are a no-no term). This is followed by a full hysterectomy inc. removal of the ovaries, allowing testo doses to be reduced and thereby help control the aggression. The testo will elongate the clitoral tissue to resemble a micro-penis but this is normally not sufficient to satisfy a partner, so a transguy needs to spend in the order of £50,000 for a penis to be created over a series of very painful procedures and UK surgeons are hardly expert at it. Apparently the best surgeon is in Belgium. These procedures take time and a great deal of pain to work through and the resulting penis is not directly comparable to a natal version, though I am assured, but not tested personally, that it can provide an excellent sexual experience for a partner.
To imply that any transsexual person undertakes that sort of journey on the basis of "lifestyle" is wrong totally. I am assured that this is not a matter of choice unless one counts life and death a choice.
Empirical data shows that post-operatively, 99% of transsexual people go on to live fulfilled and happy lives and only a very small proportion have sufficient regrets to return to their birth gender.
That does not mean to say that transsexual people like other marginalised folk do not suffer from the same problems life throws up in the general population. Whilst legislation protects most minorities from discrimination in education and the workplace, whereas gay folk these days are accepted, suffering from the curable medical condition of Gender Dysphoria commonly called transsexualism, leads to a great deal of discrimination, harassment, victimisation and violence akin to the very worst abuse meted out on black people in the 40s ands 50s and gay folk in the 60s and beyond.
It would be a strange world indeed if people discriminated and abused people born with green eyes just because of their eye colour or diabetics born with an iffy pancreas. As with eye colour, short sight, holes in the heart, birthmarks, squints, one leg longer than the other, a stoop, nobody CHOOSES to be a transsexual person, it happens in the womb 6-8 weeks after conception.
For most people (1499 in 1500), they are lucky to be born gender congruent i.e. their brain and body are in harmony. If you were forced to take cross sex hormones and live as the opposite sex for decades you would hate it for sure. And so it is the same for transsexual people where they cannot change their brain chemistry but they sure can change their body to put it into harmony at some point in their adult lives.
So, are we going to have a pop at the disabled and the mentally challenged as well and whilst at it have a go at the black members of POF? No? because, just maybe, someone might complain about your intolerace and you get booted, but it is fair game to go at ts folk. Well it damn well isn't !
There are times when reading these forums makes me think that compassion and understanding are two words that some regular forum folk have a severe short supply that I fear is also congenital but it seems there is little hope or cure for those people.
Kira | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:04:46 PM |
To imply that any transsexual person undertakes that sort of journey on the basis of "lifestyle" is wrong totally.
I didn't imply that, you've assumed I did.
His lifestyle choices, meaning takin class A drugs more & more actually, & not respecting other peoples boundaries is what I meant.
With all respect for your knowledge (all of which I knew obviously) I'm talking about someone I have known for 22 years, as a person first & foremost, not as a label. As I have said, I supported him throughout, I know him inside & out. I'm pretty knowledgable as to psychology...he was not born with Gender Dysphoria IMO. He has severe issues that have manifested into him believing he was born into the wrong body & that he should be male, yes. Now he has the opposite gender he was born with...& is even more confused with his sexuality. He was crying out for help, not a sex change.
I'm not discussing it anymore as it upsets me I lost a life long friend. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:32:47 PM | I am sorry to hear that story Lily and apologise for hurting you more. It is a terrible shame that this guy is taking Cat A drugs and stuff and not coming to terms with his situation.
Yes, I think people DO get carried along by peer pressure and it seems many formerly happy butch dykes are increasingly resorting to transition as opposed to staying as women. Of course there WILL be many who DO get comfort from being guys but clearly your friend is not one of them. It is not as if they don't get warned of the consequences and outcomes as I am sure you are aware. Of course, he probably has now so alienated good friends like you that his coping resources are zero. Is he getting any help from any of the F2M groups around?
I was not getting at you at all, you have been a good friend to him.
Hugs
Kira | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:53:37 AM | >the thought of dating a freak
Don't worry, Mr Kindly, most of us here would never dream of dating you! | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:59:57 AM | >I'm still a bit shocked at how few have spoken out against kindlys prejudice views and ignorance on this matter
Well said, Kent Lee.
If someone were to say "I hate all black people" or "Disabled people are freaks" I imagine there would be an outcry. Why is it still acceptable to have a go at the GLBT community?
People should be judged on the strength of their character.
I was once a child - does that make any of my lovers paedophiles if we have sex? Of course not. Who cares what someone once was, what they are now is far more relevant.
Pity some of the people on here are now bigots - I wonder if they always were, or is it a recent phenomenon in their lives?
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:12:16 AM | | can i just point out that im no bigot. i just thought i would lighten the tone! | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:40:47 AM | | MSG67,I remember it well an thought it was a shame their unfortunate parents didnt act quick enough an take them screaming to the shrinks, an get them the help they required, | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:14:35 AM | A transexual partner that could beat me in an arm wrestle. Doesn't go well with me.  | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:43:10 AM |
Kira...as I've said in PM...thankyou for appologising  & I take onus that this is a subject Iam fiercely passionate about, as with any sort of discrimination, & have a tendancy to get a lil' fiesty Yes, I think people DO get carried along by peer pressure and it seems many formerly happy butch dykes are increasingly resorting to transition as opposed to staying as women. I totally agree.
My ex friend never mentioned years ago that he felt he was born into the wrong body...until he started meeting Ts'. I feel he did have a deep rooted hatred of being female...but because of totally different reasons that became confused with transgenderism.
Your quite right about the anger & overt sexual prowness...mixed with anti-depressants, vast quantities of cocaine & alchohol...not pretty. He talks about fantasing raping women when he is high...not acceptable to me & I won't tolerate it.
Is he getting any help from any of the F2M groups around?
I don't know, & no longer care to be honest, I choose to not stick around toxic & chaotic peeps that don't want to help themselves..."You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"...
I don't have enough duct tape to fix the world  | |
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rowlie
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Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 75 | |
| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:13:02 PM | Remmington I found your post to be very sensitive even if you can be loony sometimes. (Said with good intentions by the way.)
I know some TS ladies, and you might have a problem knowing. For those that just come and make prejudicial comments, go and get educated. If you know a TS person then I am sure you also know about their attempts at suicide and the traumas they have suffered. For the rest of you. I hope you are in someway qualified to make stupid comments- based on the fact you know something. But seems obvious you know nothing.
I detest criticism of these people. However I can suggest that there is jealousy at work here. More often these have got through tremendous problems and prejudice to be far more balanced and successful than you may ever hope to be.
Nice one Lily! | |
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