| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 6/20/2007 2:29:06 PM | as a chef ive worked with a very diverse collection of people.everyone has there own personalities obviously.on our wedding and honeymoon we met a couple of lesbians who became drinking buddies very quickly. the more dominant one very soon showed herself to be more butch than the butchest of men during supposedly relaxed evenings out.there was many reasons for this.including medications,which included steroids. this was pretty sad on many levels.i just hope society evolves to allow people to be what they want to be,and not scew there minds up through guilt ,anger and frustration.allso, it would have allowed me to enjoy my wedding without feeling less butch than she was behaving!! >))}}})))@>  | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:04:11 PM | Seems very interesting that most of those involved in posting on this thread would appear to have some sort of problem with people who appear to be the gender they are not!
1: A transvestite is someone who dresses in the other genders clothes.
2: Transvestism is a predominantly female trait.
3: Around 75% of male transvestites are straight and indulge in cross dressing for the sexual thrill
4: The homosexual men that cross dress and/or live as women do so because they receive far more attention as women than they ever would as men.
5: Society has created a climate of distaste for transgendered people by letting the media label them in a way that forces them to live in a shadow of fear.
6: I choose not to live my life in this manner, and will always seek to educate and encourage the rest of society, I have found that by being truthful about who i am. I am respected and defended by many.
I seek to educate that while people like myself may be different physically, we are actually quite ordinary people who have chosen a path that few others wish to take.
I knew with certainty that there was something very wrong with me being male from the age of 4.
I struggled throughout my life as both a boy and a man to be true to my gender, I was successful as a man, after a fashion, I strove to be the best possible man i could be. At 40 I admitted defeat and asked my doctor for help, following 4 years of psychiatric supervision, i finally got the go ahead for surgery. I am very lucky, as you can see from my photograph, that my transition has been very successful. I am sure that should I have chosen to, I could be in a happy relationship with some unknowing man. I could not live in this manner, I resigned myself to the idea that I could remain single and celibate for the rest of my life, right at the beginning of the transition. I would rather live in this manner than live one more day in my life with a lie. I am resolute in the idea that there is someone out there for everyone and that I will not live a lie.
When you hear of someone being OUTED remember both have a problem, the person with the secret and the person who finds it out, otherwise why keep it a secret in the first place! | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:18:29 PM | total respect to the above post. Its a shame people are so ignorant about transgenderism. Gender realignment takes courage and commitment. Qualities lacking in alot of society these days.
It also requires understanding and acceptance from those around you.
May you continue to be truly happy being the woman you are..
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:23:22 PM |
I struggled throughout my life as both a boy and a man to be true to my gender, I was successful as a man, after a fashion, I strove to be the best possible man i could be. At 40 I admitted defeat and asked my doctor for help, following 4 years of psychiatric supervision, i finally got the go ahead for surgery. I am very lucky, as you can see from my photograph, that my transition has been very successful. I am sure that should I have chosen to, I could be in a happy relationship with some unknowing man. I could not live in this manner, I resigned myself to the idea that I could remain single and celibate for the rest of my life, right at the beginning of the transition. I would rather live in this manner than live one more day in my life with a lie. I am resolute in the idea that there is someone out there for everyone and that I will not live a lie.
I am struggling to find the words to express how i felt reading that post. Very moved and very humble.
You are clearly very brave in the face of so much bigotry and arent lying to anyone about your journey.
Some do that and i dont believe that deliberate deception is fair, so total and utter respect to you.
May you get the things in life that you wish for and deserve | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:49:47 PM | I agree with everything Foxy said.
Much respect to you.
I work with a woman that has just entered her second marriage.
The first was conventional and to a man. The second was a civil partnership and to a woman that she met online.
Her wife is transgendered, and they are both very happy.
I just added that to confirm that you are right, there is someone out there for everyone.
I hope you meet your soulmate soon | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:02:42 PM | When you hear of someone being OUTED remember both have a problem, the person with the secret and the person who finds it out, otherwise why keep it a secret in the first place!
can you explain a little more about what you mean by this sentance?
i do remember boy george outing someone famous.
what problem do you think gorge had?
was he any less wrong to out someone becouse he is gay?
respect for your post too.
ill not post a kiss,or a hug,we havent gotten aquainted yet!
oh,and bubblebum is watching,hehe | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/11/2007 7:44:17 PM | ^^^^ I am as confused as you Colin and the reply will I am sure be sn interesting one to read.
As someone who was effectively outed elsewhere in a linked site without my knowledge before I did so personally on another thread I must say that I prefer my past to remain in my past. I do not identify as transgender or even transsexual any more. I am just a woman.
Fortunately my forays on another site, where women like me are appreciated without scorn and giggles, has meant I might well have found someone very special that I can spend a lot of my time with and this might explain why I have not contributed to POF as much in the past fortnight.
Indeed there is a treasure for everyone but often the diamond in the field of coal is hidden very deep down and only comes to the surface by chance.
hugs
Kira | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 2:21:26 AM | A simple question really.
Ladies would you date a man who was born a woman?
Guys would you date a woman who use to be a man?
If not, why not?
yes i would date a man that was born a female if i fancied them.
anyhows the man would know how to satisfy(from being a woman in the first place) me and i wouldnt have to show him where my clit was
on a serious note, its now what people are its who they are that counts, and if people took other people more for who they were the world would be a much happier place
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 3:47:35 AM |
can you explain a little more about what you mean by this sentence?
Hi Colin
The "Problem" I'm trying to describe is, the transgendered partner is terrified that her partner will desert her if he finds out her status. Such "Outings" in the past have resulted in serious assaults and murders! And their partners are unprepared for such a massive blow of truth, assuming they do deeply love their partner to an extent that the lie has a much larger impact than the fact their partner is trandgender!
I hope this answers your query, If you need any more information just post me back.
Regards Di
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:17:02 AM | if its man who has had his hows your father chopped of then no i wouldnt....unless it owns a strap on thinggggy .or the person is no good for nothing.
i have nothing against lesbians,if they use a strap on,but without a mans bit then its pointless | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:20:06 AM | I'd like to say that it would make no difference to me whatsoever.
I have no issue with others' issues, thinking we should all be able to live our lives in the way we want. so long as we harm no-one else in the process.
However, I have never even (knowingly) met a F2M, so the truth of the matter is, I really don't know. I'll find out if I ever meet such a man and fancy him and he isn't a testosterone filled git.
A good book on the subject, about whether we fall in love with the person, or the gender, or both, is Trans Sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:20:19 AM |
f its man who has had his hows your father chopped of then no i wouldnt....unless it owns a strap on thinggggy .or the person is no good for nothing.
i have nothing against lesbians,if they use a strap on,but without a mans bit then its pointless
Arrh yes, but at least their box would smell considerably more pleasant that your box, Samantha  | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:22:39 AM | Hi Colin
The "Problem" I'm trying to describe is, the transgendered partner is terrified that her partner will desert her if he finds out her status. Such "Outings" in the past have resulted in serious assaults and murders! And their partners are unprepared for such a massive blow of truth, assuming they do deeply love their partner to an extent that the lie has a much larger impact than the fact their partner is trandgender!
I hope this answers your query, If you need any more information just post me back.
Regards Di
I have to say this reads like simpering bollocks to use a totally inappropriate term when related to partners but you are totally correct that gender variant people are subject to violence, abuse and indeed murder by people quite often. One only has to read some of the responses in this thread alone to realise the uphill struggle transsexual men and women face for just being treated with respect.
If one has the ability to pass as a natal female 99.9% of the time then if you get to a point where a serious relationship might develop then sure, you tell the man or the woman of your past. If you cannot then you ought not to bein the relationship. It is easiest to tell people after the second date after they have paid the restaurant bill (lol) though one date of mine had googled and found out a few more things anyhow but it did not affect anything and we still have a drink together but the snag is I don't fancy him.
To bleat on that you might get beaten up by a partner who is unaware is almost certainly sensational nonsense since one would choose the moment wisely and in a public place too.
And I speak from a position of personal knowledge dear Di. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:27:36 AM | vif its man who has had his hows your father chopped of then no i wouldnt....unless it owns a strap on thinggggy .or the person is no good for nothing.
i have nothing against lesbians,if they use a strap on,but without a mans bit then its pointless
IT - OMFG so we are no longer individuals, we are now "it" .
A transsexual woman is referred to as she not he and your ignorance betrays your prejudice. You clearly do not know what you are talking about since lesbian sex does not revolve around penises or penis substitutes.
So do you dehumanise any other sections of society? Wogs, Queers and Spastics * maybe are also "it" in your book too?
Grrr
Kira
* derogatory names used by people of ignorance and prejudice to seek to deny them their rights too. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:52:24 AM |
If one has the ability to pass as a natal female 99.9% of the time then if you get to a point where a serious relationship might develop then sure, you tell the man or the woman of your past.
Surely it would be better for this to be made clear initially rather than at a point further down the line. After all, there are those who could be just as upset about feeling that they were deceived rather than about the actual details of a persons' past.
It could also be contrued that someone was trying to get their foot in the door before dropping the bombshell which could imply that maybe a person isn't as secure about themselves as they claim.
If any relationship is to succeed, honesty is probably the most important factor. If a person has anything in their past that is going to have a bearing on the relationship they need to be upfront about it. This applies to lots of things. If a person has been in prison. If they are still married (although separated). If they have a long term illness etc. It doesn't just apply to people who choose to hop the sexual fence. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 5:26:13 AM | Surely it would be better for this to be made clear initially rather than at a point further down the line. After all, there are those who could be just as upset about feeling that they were deceived rather than about the actual details of a persons' past.
To an extent I might agree with you Restless though from experience it is perfectly possible for one to enjoy a civilised conversation with someone where one's past has no relevance. Loads of threads exist where someone asks "should i tell them before I meet them thsat I did time in the nick, have one leg, am coping with depression, am prone to fits etc" and the general view is that you do not disclose this information until one gets to a point that it matters to share that information.
I am no different in bed than any other woman, I can carry out a conversation without sending people to sleep and dates have always wanted to see me again though the same might not have been true for me in that i didnt always fancy them.
Arthur Koestler, the raconteur and philospher, once when asked why he always had beautiful women on his arm but was really quite ugly said "give me 10 minutes and I can talk away my face" Well on the same basis i have no wisdh to be defined by my past, only by my present and future. Being totally open only attracts those people who are overly keen on my past and not me now. A bit like of you said in a profile you only had one leg, it might attract men who had a perverted interest in amputees.
I cannot change my past but I can and have changed my present and future and since my past was one where my body was just wrong and I hated being referred to as a man, going back there every time is not good. After all, a guy who spent his time in the nick 21 years ago can choose to forget it if he has gone straight for the past 20 years. And you as a kid pooped in your pants as a baby but you do not need to be reminded of it all of the time do you since it has no relevance.
Only because the cisgendered majority do not appreciate what it is like to have gender dysphoria where one's mind and body image/map is out of kilter with your actual physical shape, then without being informed, they only have to suppose and that supposition is garnered from sensationalist press reporting of the most disgraceful kind. Slowly it is improving by being a transsexual person does lead a lot of people to draw the wrong conclusions based upon a distinct lack of knowledge.
I remember as a kid hearing my mother, who had never met a black person, refer to an Afro Carribean actor on TV as having "dirty hands" and wrinking up her face. Racist yes and she assiduously watched the Black and White Minstrels too. In the 50s and ealry 60s that sort of attitude was prevalent across the entire country since so few people had even met a black person. Fortunately times have changed and now, except for a hardened minority of racists, few people have those ignorant views.
The same problem applies to Ts folk. There are only 5000 of us out and about in the UK, "most hidden in full view". The media continues to work to its own sensational agenda of ignorance and so is it no wonder that we prefer not to refer to our pasts? You probably pass transsexual men and women in the street without being aware of thier pasts and so why should it be so relevant unless you wish to discriminate against me becuase of my past? (a rhetorical question not asked personally).
Once upon a time people concealed the fact they were Jewish or an Eastern European immigrant by changing their names just after the war to British names. Why? because they knew they would experience prejudice for being Goldsmidt or Czerny.
Black people even tried to conceal their blackness by using bleaching agents.
I recall a programme on TV about Alastair McGowan who discovered his entire father's side of the family were Indian whereas he thought he was Scottish. His shock, palpable for all to see, was tinged with a certain disrespect and diappointment on Alastair's part as to a heritage he saw as less worthy.
So it is perfectly reasonable for people to get to know me and people like me without us having to face an unfair stigma attached to me like a big red light (or a Star of David tsatoo maybe?) that refers to me not as Kira, a great woman but "the transsexual" - again, a dehumanising and disrespectful way of excluding me from the privileges naturally given to other women.
Crikey that is deep stuff. Sorry. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 5:54:06 AM |
To an extent I might agree with you Restless though from experience it is perfectly possible for one to enjoy a civilised conversation with someone where one's past has no relevance.
I agree with this completely. It's perfectly possible to have a conversation with anyone without the need for the question of a persons' sexuality to be brought into it.
However, the topic up for discussion is relationships. I believe that if a person is seeking a long term relationship with anyone, to try and keep any important detail about themselves secret for any period of time is only asking for trouble.
This is probably even more relevant with a subject like gender re-assignment because as you say, there are some very intollerant people out there. Surely it's better to become aware of any intollerance sooner rather than later. Otherwise you're just fooling yourself aren't you? It must be better to not to put yourself in a position where you have to deal with that in the first place and simply let them pass on by. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:23:28 AM |
Surely it's better to become aware of any intollerance sooner rather than later.
I think there are probably more ways of discovering someone's intolerances that don't involve baring your entire past for their examination. I'm sure that we have all dated people in the past and become aware of their feelings about things. If those feelings don't gel with our own, we soon go on our separate ways. Why should a transperson be any different?
I sure as hell don't tell everybody every little detail about my past straight away, only if and when it becomes relevant.
EDIT: Ditlondon said
Transvestism is a predominantly female trait.
Is it? Could someone clarify please? Typo or fact? I thought it was the reverse
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:44:11 AM | I've just come across this thread, and it makes me sad that in this day and age, there are still people who are willing to stand up and say ................
"I still live in the dark ages, I have not learnt that the world has evolved and that man kind is made up of many kinds of man, and that I am happy to walk through my life with my eyes closed, missing out on so much and being unable to see the beauty that the world has to offer us"
When God created the world he added many colours to it, to make it a bright and beautiful place to live, if we choose to close our eyes to our world, we are surely the poorer people for it.
Ditlondon and Kira............................. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:50:49 AM |
Is it? Could someone clarify please? Typo or fact? I thought it was the reverse
Transvestism initially manifests itself as dressing in clothing of the others gender. Many women wear on a regular basis, mens clothing whether for comfort or sexual allure yet they are not regarded as "Trannies" simply because a girl in blue jeans and cowboy boots can look quite alluring and a man dressed in 4" heels and a skirt can look pretty foolish. Nevertheless it still constitutes transvestism, I have been verbally abused in a very hostile and aggressive manner by a butch lesbian dressed from head to foot in the opposite genders clothing, yet when I pointed out that she was the transvestite and I was transgender, well need I say more!
As far as coming out to someone I am in a relationship with goes, I personally prefer not to get into that situation in the first place, but everyone is different and I bow to the other ladies post's and personal experiences when it comes to telling a partner. we are all different, I just cannot imagine the circumstances when i would choose to keep it a secret, but maybe the time will come!
Regards DI
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:42:25 AM | Msg 95
I think then, that I would disagree with your assertion that tranvestisism is predominantly a female trait. When wearing 'masculine' clothing, ie jeans, most women are actually showing themselves to be more feminine, not less. The cut of the jeans emphasises the gender differences, that is the higher, rounded bottom, wider hips and lack of lunch box.
Of course, much of that is down to the social acceptability of women in trousers. After all, we could equally argue that some men in skirts highlight their masculine shape and makes it quite clear they are all man.
Given that male TVs are usually trying to look like a woman, not a man in a dress, to the extent that genitalia are rearranged to be less conspicuous; and women in trousers are rarely pracising in the same way, that is strapping down breasts etc, I think it would be fair to say that while more women wear 'male' clothing; more males are transvestite.
I stress that this is merely my opinion based on my very limited knowledge of the TV/TG scene and my very extensive knowledge of clothes! | |
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-LIL-
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 97 | |
| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:57:25 AM | Excellent post message 91.
What on earth is the point of having gender reassignment...to then be forever classed as "Trans" ?!  completely defeating the object...
Crikey that is deep stuff. Sorry.
Don't appologise.
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:26:31 PM |
A simple question really.......Guys would you date a woman who use to be a man?
A simple answer......no.
If not, why not?
Transsexuals make my flesh crawl. Why would I place myself in close proximity to someone who does that to me? | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:22:01 PM | My feelings about transgenders or whatever they choose to label/name themselves
is that in their urgency to be true to themselves by physically changing their sex with
surgery, they surely cannot change the who that they are completely. Whether you were
born the wrong sex or are really a boy in a girl's body or vice versa going through the
motions of physically changing your appearance can never change who you were born
to be.
What I mean is, when you were born a boy, you were born some
mother's son; when you were born a girl, you were born some mother's
daughter. How can any man or woman out there expect people to be ok with
the idea that their child denies who they are essentially?
Your own personal identity is just as equally wrapped up in
the people you were mothered and fathered by.
What I cannot accept is the inherent non-acceptance by people who deny who they are
to expect acceptance from loved ones that they are something they are not or deemed to
be by birth.
There's an incredible arrogance in some of the posts written on here excusing the dichotomy
of being confused about being female or male. Whatever about being born into a certain
culture or religion and defying it on the basis of realising the truth about who you are...it's
a whole other matter expecting to be treated with kid gloves just because you changed sex.
Look, I have to admit that I find it enormously difficult to think.."oh yeah, that's cool so & so
was born a man, finally got the snip and became a woman...hoo-feckin'-ray for them but how am
I supposed to equate their eventual liberation to live their life as a normal woman with their
suspect sexuality i.e. the fact that they claim to be a lesbian and are into BDSM ?"
C'mon there is something so completely freudian about this particular person's circumstance
it's not true. It's completely insane to imagine that you should be let loose on society,
people like that can only have a totally corrupt influence. I genuinely cannot see how some
individuals imagine they could enhance society at all.
You lived a lie, had a sex change and continue to live a lie. | |
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| Post op transsexuals.
Posted: 12/12/2007 7:08:49 PM | "In some cases you would need to be told" that someone was transexual. come off it! its quite obvious.
Aside from the big feet, square jaw, stubble and Adams apple there are three obvious differences that cannot be disguised. the ability to understand the laws of cricket. the understanding of the Off Side rule in Rugby and football. and the clincher:
the ability to parallel park. | |
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