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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 5/31/2007 8:53:30 PM | I generally tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think our past experiences can sometimes colour our perceptions so don't always go with my "gut feelings". However I do pay attention to red flags and sometimes they just add up enough to make me take action but more often the other person will do something that doesn't require gut feelings or red flags....they'll just out themselves, and it's so obvious you don't have to second guess yourself.
To me that's preferable to mistrusting everyone just because. Even the best players will give themselves away sooner or later. And if you've enjoyed your time with them it's not a total loss....and if you haven't you shouldn't have been there anyways. JMO | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:25:28 PM | mile high,
i think some of your research is incorrect and not as hard and fast as you presented here. for example, you said when people look down it means they are lying...but, did you know that they could be accessing their emotional recall about the topic being discussed? | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:37:32 PM | Thankyou
hugs
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:54:15 PM | for me its a usually a logic thing. something just doesn't make sense.
however, there have been times where i get this unexplained feeling out of nowhere that a relationship is about to end; within hours of the actual event. its happened 3x since i was 19. i feel it was god preparing me because it is so unexpected and a shock to the system.i still remember where i was when the feeling came upon me. i've also had a feeling of dread or doom about one person who was bad news. | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:28:38 PM | | YES. I was dating this guy for 5 years, and he had asked me to marry him about 4 years into it. Around that time something in my gut kept telling me his reasons for not answering his phone, or always being out late or not allowed out didn't add up correctly. I had a feeling he was cheating, and I had a feeling it was with a girl he had mentioned as his "friend" and in the end I was proven correct, although his denial. He WAS cheating and I was also 100%correct about the girl whom he had been cheating on me with. I say if you have gut feeling go with it, there's a reason why it's there. | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/2/2007 8:11:02 PM | I generally tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think our past experiences can sometimes colour our perceptions so don't always go with my "gut feelings". However I do pay attention to red flags and sometimes they just add up enough to make me take action but more often the other person will do something that doesn't require gut feelings or red flags....they'll just out themselves, and it's so obvious you don't have to second guess yourself
Couldn't have said it better than this | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:20:17 PM | I try to take what people tell me at face value but if they want to LIE ........THEY'RE really only hurting themselves because in REALITY......IT'S no skin off my ass,ESPECIALLY IF ITS SOMEONE I barely know.
Some people are so compulsive with their lies that THEY actually believe their own lies..........and until they wake up to REALITY.....NOTHING WILL CHANGE.
Personally......I'm pretty lucky......I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO SENSE B.ULLSHIT FROM MILES AWAY. | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/4/2007 9:20:37 AM | | What I dislike just as much as lying, spinning the truth. I had a friend who didn't lie, per se. He just didn't tell everything. He spun things. Basically what he told you was the truth, he just omitted several crucial details. For instance, he would tell you he went to dinner when in reality he went to dinner with a gal that he wanted to sleep with. But in his mind, he didn't lie to anyone. | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/4/2007 9:56:51 AM | yeah excuses excuses...
usually when a person lies once they are bound to do it again. or again and again and again.. lol.
unforchantly I like to give people second chances... but usually I am right about them the first time around.
sucks when you go against your gut reaction and things turn out kinda like how you thought they would.
trust that instinct.. but then again some people do deserve second chances.... | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:13:11 AM | As a trained interviewer and interrogator believe me people will lie when the truth would serve them better . . .
Many things give away lying, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, etc. There are many books on the subject. But the best detector is just watching the patterns of their activity - unaccounted for time often with shaky cover stories. In the modern metro-world being anonymous and having some plausible cover for otherwise unaccounted for time and unaccounted for money - is the biggest factor in infidelity. Having the means, time and access with a plausible cover story often seals the deal for hanky panky.
Being anonymous means going to another side of a big town or another town - where no one knows you and your partner in crime. And it simply means you can get away with it - be brazen - go out to fine restaurants, clubs, movies, arm in arm - doing the town, all the while supposedly on a business trip, a road trip, or hunting / fishing outing, etc.
I caught my long term live-in girlfriend (in years past) in a big lie. I had reason to believe she had taken up with this guy and made a accusation she was seeing him. She denied it. I then immediately pulled out a hand written love letter describing their meeting in a park - written in her hand writing - signed in her signature - an original - not a copy and she still denied it. AMAZING.
But it was true - she ended up living with him for a while - didn't last . . .
I too could write a book and perhaps will . . .
Joe | |
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vampgl
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Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 143 | |
| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/4/2007 10:23:23 AM | I had only been dating him for a few months, but had some serious feelings for the man. One week he stopped talking to me as much as he normally did. I then found out that he had an old friend staying at his house for a few days. This worried me, just because I knew that he didnt really have anywhere for her to stay but in his bed. And the way he got almost defensive when I asked him about it showed something was wrong. Knew deep down that he had lied to me when he told me nothing sexual was going on with her. A few days after she left to go back to her hometown, I spent the night with him. The next morning I found out about what he did. He had cheated on me all weekend with her, and lied directly to my face about it.
At one point in time I thought he was the greatest man I had ever met. Now I dont know what to think. If someone as awesome as him can be that deceiving, is there really any hope for true honesty and trust? And is it wrong to deep down still have feelings for him? | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/27/2007 8:05:43 PM | vamp ? i would never persuade, or tell someone how they should feel. but if for those few months you were led to believe you and he were an item ...... if i was in your position, i would feel " he ain't the one for me " | |
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| Ever had the feeling you are being lied to? were you right?
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:26:49 AM | Whenever I think someone is lying to me, I tend to give them enough rope to hang themselves with. I won't always say what's on my mind but I watch them more closely and remember things they've said and see if stuff matches up.
The problem is when you encounter someone who has no conscience about lying - all that stuff about looking down, fidgeting, eye contact etc only works on people who feel guilty. The accomplished, self-absorbed liar who doesn't care about anyone but him/herself won't show these 'tells'.
As for myself, I do things like this all the time - very steady eye contact, touching my face and mouth while I'm telling stories etc. But I'm definitely one of the most honest people you'd meet. | |
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