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| My Jokes.
Posted: 10/25/2009 1:54:49 AM | A man comes home and asks his wife 'Darling, what would you do if I said I'd won the lottery?'
She says 'I'd take half the money, pack my bags and leave you'
He says 'Great...I got 3 numbers and £10 on Wednesday...here's a £5, now f^&* off!' | |
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| A few more jokes from LonelyPhantom.
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:11:00 PM | Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.
Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A. Her lipstick. | |
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| A few more jokes from LonelyPhantom.
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:57:19 PM | I know it's early but here's a christmas joke for you all to enjoy.
Little known Christmas Fact
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
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