| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/7/2007 6:40:54 PM | Hum, to answer the inital question...yes, and no.
I'm not going to go emo on you folks, but please forgive me if I seem to be.
1st Ex (GF of 3 years ~kid~ & Soul Mate) died. May Sarrah rip. I'll never be over it.
2nd Ex (GF of 4 years ~kid~) moved cities, went (for lack of a better term) crooked, and is now with another guy for 5 years (her current fiance). At first, it hurt, but as you can see, I'm over it.
3rd Ex (GF of a few months ~teen~) moved countries (to India for work), and it self-destructed over time.
4th Ex (GF for 1 year, Fiance for 2 ~adult~) went to a bar with her friends for a b-day party, got drunk, and slept with another man (and having yet another man's kid). I have forgiven her, but I'll never forget the betrayal, and I'm not with her now. I was waiting for marriage, as is the noble thing to do, and I'm glad I'm rid of her.
So in a way, I can never forget my first love, or any love. But, am I over them? Yup. It's why I'm here, lol. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:56:36 AM | | Hmm..Sometimes I think I am, others I'm not sure. I still have feelings for him and that "what if" that runs threw my mind. Then again we haven't been apart for that long and am probably still going through that letting him go process. Its kinda hard to let him go when I know he wants to get back together. I guess he's realizing what a jerk he was and doesn't know how to say "I'm sorry." So, I guess I'm not over him, just yet, lol. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:36:26 AM | | yes and no i suppose. i am for the fact that i realize that i was being taken advantage of, and i don't want to be drug along until she finds someone "better." but i don't think i will be able to forget all the good times we shared together either. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:57:33 AM | Over? No....but ready to move on most definitely! I don't think that you ever totally get over someone you loved unconditionally.....you just realize that it will never work & move on.  | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:57:38 AM | | Where to begin. If anything this is a way for me to vent so pls be patient. The girl whom I just left (and left me) is now the yard stick for all other girls to be measured against. Yet, although I loved her there was a part of me that wouldn't connect or commit with her. I'm not sure why that is, and the old saying that you don't know what you have till you lose it is true. But I knew what I had and I still let her go. And now I find myself trying to grasp onto something. But the harder I squeeze the more my grip loosens. I find that it is emptiness that fills the cup. Yet here I am. Alone, thinking of her asking myself why I couldn't be what she needed me to be. In the same breath she never truly understood what it was that I needed. So in the long run is it best that it was ended now? Do I sit at home alone, wondering who she is with, what she is doing and just lick my wounds. Or do I acknowledge that it was a systemic failure between us, that we met at the wrong time in our lives and let it go. It's easier said than done and my friends can all say let her go there's plenty of fish (pardon the pun) in the sea. But there was only one of her and she will be hard to replace. Which makes it unfair for the next girl that I date..Where's the MIB with the brain scan to help me forget what I just witnessed or learned. It would be so much easier. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:07:36 AM | | raze42, i can relate man. i am venting too. i guess this is all part of the healing process and we can only pick ourselves up and move on. i haven't lost faith. there has gotta be some good girls left. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:23:49 AM | I disagree. One says they are over their ex, but are not really. If the 'ex' was 'the love of your life/your soulmate', then one will never really ever get over him/her.
I've met the love of my life. And i know i won't ever feel about any other the way i feel about him. We were together for only two years and i've received so much love from him in that two years to last me an entire lifetime.
Would i be able to love another the same way as i loved him? | |
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beck11
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Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 83 | |
| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 10:33:21 AM | Wow. The last couple of posts have been good. Most people would have to say that I am not over my ex, but I have accpted the fact that I have to move on. We were together for 12 years and split because we had grown apart and could not find our way back to common ground. We have two wonderful kids together and have struggled to rebuild and maintain a true friendship since we split almost three years ago. She has set the bar high for any future relationships I may encounter. We have both dated other people and travel in very different circles now, but I trust her and value her as a person and a mother to my children. I go to her for advice on occaision and still know we share a love for each other.
Love is an important part of our lives and can come in many forms. Had I walked away from the relationship with my ex after the split, I would have lost out. If that means to people that I am not over her that is fine, but my life also continues and grows in other directions as well. | |
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| am i over my ex
Posted: 4/8/2007 10:55:07 AM | it's been 4 months now and i still love him and want to be with him but i know i can't and that i can't go back in time to make things right. we were dating for 9 months and last month would of been our 1st anniversary. i can't believe we almost made it but didn't. it still hurts. he was the man of my life, my best friend, my lover and the "one". i know i have to move on but its hard. its literally killing me not to be with him. i lost all confidence in myself and i barely smile now...when he left i became nothing ...
all i want is him bk in my life..is that SO much to ask for?? | |
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| am i over my ex
Posted: 4/8/2007 11:20:30 AM | | Well, if you really want him back in your life, what are you doing here? No, really...if he was the one, go after him again. Just say something like "we've both had some time apart, have you found any one new?" If he says no, you have a shot. If he says yes, stop letting yourself be affected by depression, and find yourself a real man on here. | |
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| am i over my ex
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:03:09 PM | I adore my last ex, but yes......I am so over him!!! I am also very happy to see him so much in love with his new girlfriend!! I wish them all the happiness in the world!!! | |
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fgb
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Joined: 3/9/2007
Msg: 87 | |
| am i over my ex
Posted: 4/8/2007 3:04:12 PM | Met the love of my life three and a half years ago. It was a medium-long distance relationship but with cheap flights and easy travel it worked (or seemed to). About nine months into the relationship her world fell apart (long story not worth repeating) and I held her together emotionally, mentally and sometimes financially. Sacrificed a very good career move to keep her alive, sane, and patiently pieced her back together. That took the best part of another year. She dumped me two years after we met, about three months after she recovered, got back together with me, dumped me again about six months ago. Said she was "willing to be friends" like it was doing me a favour.
I'm pretty slow to anger and it's just reaching boiling point now, or rather freezing point. So no, I'm not over her and I wonder if she asked to see me again what I would say? I hope it would be no. Never been a sap or hung up on a woman before. Revenge? I did say freezing point? 
Joined this site but never posted on it, not ready to date yet bored tonight so just started reading. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:01:32 PM | | Yes, I do not love him anymore. He was not the kind of person I needed, and he brought out the worst in me. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:26:13 PM | well, i am just going thro it all now, been on and off with my ex gf for 2 and a half yrs, i guess u could say im bi...
im never gunna get over her i stil love her and in reading this post i didnt realise that im not the only one who feels this way and compares everyone to her.
she was such a major part of my life for so long and was my first in many ways...
when we have broken up i never could get over her or move on.. i havent been with anyone in a yr, i keep holding on for her...
sad i know!
i love u mish
xoxo | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:48:59 PM | I'm glad to say I'm soooo completely over it! I think once you have some time and perspective, you begin to see a person as they really are, and not as they seemed to be through the rose coloured glasses of love. When you see after some time apart, that someone made you feel worthless or doubt who you really are, it sure isn't love.
Real love doesn't have an ending (well maybe when you die.. but that's the only time), and if does end for any other reason than death, I don't believe it was real love. | |
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derr12
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Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 91 | |
| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:54:08 PM | Started dating my best friend about 5 years ago, fell in love. She was a crazy little child from questionable ubringing but she had the sweetest heart of anyone i knew.
Things got ugly after her birth father died suddenly, she betrayed my trust and treated me poorly. Once she realized what she would be loosing she got back into us full heartedly. I think I loved her even more after that. We had a really good run for a long time. She got tired of goin nowhere in the town i was working in carreer wise and moved away to work for a bit.
We were still good for a while, visited a lot, but somehow she decided that maybe I wasnt what she wanted for the rest of her life even tho she knew she loved me. how she came to this conclusion i don't know I was completely ambushed. I still to this day know i could have done more but i thought it was in her best interests to be out and on her own for a while.
A week after we broke up she hooked up with her room mate, a rebound that lasted 6 months to this day. I was destroyed, I was replaced within a week by a dude who really looked a lot like me...
The part that hurts the most is that my girl, my favorite person in the universe, gave me up only to share a bed with a no life looser, an ***hole with no drive to do anything with his life. A guy who does not treat her like wshe is important. If she at least had found a nice, hard-working man I would have been able to move forward knowing that somebody was looking after her.
I cant get over my ex because im constantly worried about her. Im afraid that she will get herself stuck so bad. Im afraid that the only thing keeping her where she is now is finances and embarrassment.
Ive dated a lot since breaking up with her, it never lasts, it really seems sometimes like im not capable of loving someone the way I still love her.
I think what I need to get over her is to know that she is happy. Either that or a hole in my head  | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:31:58 AM | I have been over my ex a while now andthe divorce isnt actually finalized yet. After sleeping with one of my friends and then starting another relationship before we had even agreed to the divorce, i realised what an evil lying dog she really was. Although amaicble for the sake of our kids, her new boyfriend whom moved in with her 2 days after I moved out has always tended to take my side and tell her not to be pathetic when she starts behaving like a pratt! I am actually starting to think her boyfriend is an ok kind of bloke and dont reckon he will be around for too long. Like I always advise my friends "YOU LOSE EM HOW YOU FIND EM" I have always been a firm believer of reaping the rewards of your actions and that is how I moved on.  | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/9/2007 5:17:42 AM | it took a while, okay a long while but yep , I'm over it/him.
I gave myself the time *I* needed and feel so much better for it .
I don't think you ever get over a person 100% , the memories are always going to be there , but moving on and finding love again is what it's all about.
dwelling on the coulda woulda shoulda's isn't good for anyones soul. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/9/2007 9:37:28 AM | I can't help but wonder if I lost my one true love.....
I will always love him but I'm not inlove with him anymore...........
I will always care .......just don't want to know...
I truly feel if he were the right person we would have ended up together. I think I just miss the wonderful relationship we had... He opened doors in my heart and soul that I never new existed. Hopefully, someone else will walk through that door someday! | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/9/2007 9:48:48 AM |
I think it changes. You have a love so deep that goes unreturned at first, You mourn, stop eating, obsess. It feels as if your very soul has been ripped out.Then one day you wake up & while you still love them, It turns to anger. That is the stage I like. Not Bitterness mind you, You just remember all the things they did that annnoyed you, that you chose to ignore beause you were in love with them.
It is an active choice on how quickly you get over them. Just remember Our lives are to short to to deal with other peoples issues. I chose to move on, happy, and better than I was when I was with him. He brought out the worst in me and I lost myself. So Now I am getting re-aquatinted with myself again.
Bang on the money...monkeygirl | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/11/2007 5:43:34 AM | One says they are over their ex, but are not really. If the 'ex' was 'the love of your life/your soulmate', then one will never really ever get over him/her.
I said I was over my ex & I am. I was madly in love with the guy, but not any more. Some people live in the past and some people live in the present. I choose the present and future.
I have no interest in comparing my past relationships to future people or living in some imaginary world of what was and painting it rosey. If it was the best relationship for us, we'd still be in it. I am not the same person I was in that relationship - so I have no interest in chasing after an old memory or two. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:50:06 AM | It's one thing to be a doormat but it's another thing entirely to be wall-to-wall carpeting. I was in a 'relationship' for 5 years. Every 6 months or so, she'd need her "Time and space" routine. Each and every time, she returned, until I finally kissed her on the cheek, 8 months ago and said: "You have a safe drive home". Those were the last words spoken. I had enough and walked away from a 'push-pull-I love you-I hate you' disaster.
Self preservation is stronger than any other emotion and I needed my self-esteem back...BIG time. Best thing I ever did. She was a mess, that one. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:53:14 AM | Everything happens for a reason, and it is painful to go through a break up but you have to learn from it . it changes you by your outlook at it. I have changed myself by taking a positive outlook and not blame her or me. I look at what she wasnt satisfied with, and what i wasnt satisfied with. And make a serious commitment to change myself the way I WANT TO BE. i dont fall into the pity pot by talkin to friends and getting their opinions and just work on me. the way I need to be to be a better person.
for me no one else. | |
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| are you over your ex?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:06:24 AM | | I truley believe that if you love someone with your heart and soul you will always have a love for them. We where together for 11 yrs. He left with no notice I didnt see it coming. I often wonder if I will ever have that feeling of forever again. I have let go of the past, now ready to find love again. God has a partner for us all, so at least I hope,lol. Lets just hope it lasts a life time. | |
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