shaunw
|
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 126 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/5/2005 5:00:18 PM | | Oh no thats bad. Well as my mum always told me to make my bed in the morning, at night i had to sleep in it. Thats what you got to do or drag this loser onto the jerry springer show and make him look like the dead beat that he is. In future stick to anal as that way you cant get up the duff. Good Luck. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 5:28:31 AM | Dear pregnant and alone,
I was five months pregnant when my husband of 11 years left me for a 21year old chick that he had met while speeding up on the road in his job as a truckie. Not unusual for truckies you say ? well I was pregnant with our fifth child and had been with him since I was 16! What did I do? I did what you are doing got scared and depressed and wondered about my fate and how I would cope giving birth to a baby without him as I had no family ,and then one day I realised about a month later that my children, my baby and I did not deserve that kind of treatment and I started to preper mentally, financially and physically for the birth of my baby girl on my own and bringing up four other children on my own as he had decided to desert the kids and devote all his money ,time and love to the new love. I drove myself to my own birth after having to put my children in family service care while giving birth, and came home and started my new life for the first time since I was 16 on my own. It is now six years later and my exes lover left him and has a baby with another man now and he still has hardly anything to do with his kids, But as for us I have completed a beauticians course, taken on many hobbies and a part-time job, and found out that I do not need anybody to make my life happy and that I am an amazing woman that is devoted to her children and making our lives better. What I am saying is no matter how tough it seems ,you will get through this and will be a good mother to your baby. It will be tough and there will be many hurdles, but if you have faith in yourself and think positive it will all work out just fine. You are about to experience one of the most amazing gifts in the world and it will change your life for ever, You deserve to be treated with love and respect and when you feel comfortable again with who you are and where you are going you will find love again and the love that you deserve, Be strong. Good luck with your baby and your life. | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 128 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:08:37 AM | | Thanks everyone, for all the input! Wow, Sunshine, wow. That was really an eye-opener. I never once thought of that, and you know, I wouldn't be surprised if you are right. It would follow with the way she's been acting. I wasn't planning on flying back there, just because I found it insulting that I should drop everything and fly with a newborn, when my husband is perfectly capable of coming out here, but now, I think I have a lot more I need to think about with all of this. I definitely am going to start looking into legal help. Thanks so much for your input. | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 129 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:16:27 AM | Thanks Aquarian. That must have been really rough. I admire you for being able to do that. If you can do it with 5, I guess it's not impossible for me to do it with one. :)
I think the main thing right now for me is still trying to decide if I should bother to call my husband when I go into labor. That's what I said I would do the last time he called me, but that's been five weeks ago, and he hasn't called me since so...........I also don't know anymore if I should let his parents be involved with the child, as I don't feel that they are at all concerned with his health or well-being. Especially since they encouraged my husband to abandon me and the baby, and think it's no big deal if he's not there for the birth. I'm 2 weeks away from my due date now, and still don't know what is the best thing to do, other than trying to seek legal help. | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 130 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:18:35 AM | | LOL Casper. You have a really good point. That's what my parents seem to think too. :) | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 131 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 7:23:31 AM | | Thanks BostonLady. The state is already aware as I had to seek help from them, and will be sending him bills after the baby is born, and I definitely plan on seeing a lawyer soon. His parents are very much aware of what he's done to me, however, apparently his mom at least has encouraged him to do so, since she sent him the money to move back to TN, and they are also making monthly payments on a brand new truck for him to run around in, knowing that he hasn't sent me a penny to help with the baby. That is why I'm beginning to wonder if I should have any more to do with her or not. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 8:16:07 AM | Tassea I was going to email you about being pregnant and alone but you have guys over 35 locked out.
Robert | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/6/2005 1:42:53 PM | tasea youve had some great advice on here especially the legal items. YOu sound strong and smart. You will be fine. Having a child is the most incredable experience ever so just enjoy. Its truly your husbands loss not yours.
good luck | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 134 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/8/2005 11:59:26 AM | Thanks Greeneyes.
Does anyone know of any other cheap legal help other than the Legal Aid program?
I would really appreciate your input. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/8/2005 6:41:34 PM | Hey, you stay strong and don't worry about him worry about u and #1 your baby. I think the baby thing scares guys away and he just did not know how to deal with losing the image that he has drawn in his weak little brain about what he is and what he would have become as a father, husband, etc., You are not going to be the one that misses out. He is going to miss out and pay for it in the end (karma's a ****). I did not go through this necessicarily. I did however see it before and the guy now is paying for it. SO take care of u.
all the best
em. | |
|
tassea
|
Joined: 3/29/2005
Msg: 136 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:39:41 PM | | Thanks emmalee1. What happened to the guy that is paying for it now? | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/13/2005 11:01:38 PM | I have not been in this situation and will not pretend to know what you are going through but what he's done is a blessing in disguise..I know it's hard to hear that but you don't want to bring up a child in a negative situation. There are a lot of single mothers out there who have brought up the most responsible and wonderful kids. My brother has been dating a girl with 3 kids and he has accepted her situation without problems. Right now think about yourself and your child on the way and trust me..the right man will come along when the time is right who will love you and not care about anything else. I recently split from a boyfriend with similar bad habits..he wanted to have a family,etc but his lifestyle showed me he was not ready. They need to grow up before they can handle a child...I almost married him too but I didn't approve of his lifestyle. I was kidding myself thinking he would change but he stopped going to work,etc so I asked him to move out. We tried to work things out but he's not changing...so I'm moving on.
I wish you the best..you are very beautiful and I can tell that you have a good head on your shoulders for not approving of his choices...You will manage and get through it...It's hard but it will just make you stronger...  | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/14/2005 5:51:33 PM | Excuse me, mdew22, but birth control is not always 100% fool proof!! Start reading lately...
Leana | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/14/2005 7:42:46 PM | | I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar experience at the age of 17. I found out my son's father had another girl pregnant at the same time i was. The baby was due a week after my baby was due. That hurt so bad. I basically told him that I didn't need help with my baby and my family was there for me. He never paid child support or gave my son anything other than a bag of used clothes. My son is a very handsome, mature young man and a recent college graduate. I am so proud of him. Hopefully your husband will wake up and realize what he is missing out on. It can be done as a single mother. | |
|
JayStl
|
Joined: 6/27/2005
Msg: 140 | |
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/15/2005 12:35:38 PM | tassea I know what it's like to raise a child on your own. One day my sister dropped my niece off at my house and asked if I could take her for a while. My sister just couldn't handle being a mother at the time. She was just a few months old. Well, that lasted until she was five, so I had her for five years and it was rough becuase I was young myself at the time. You're obviously beautiful, smart and caring. You will do alright without your husband. He sounds like bad news anyway and you're better off without his habits interfering with you and the baby having a chance at a good life. Do what you need to do to secure a life for you and your child and then find yourself someone that will not only love you, but your child as well. Someone that will spend the rest of their life loving the both of you. Lean on your family a little if you need to and start your new life. Good luck and God bless! | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/15/2005 12:51:59 PM | Wow, it just goes to show that all men are immature and cant finish what they started, i am nine months pregnant and believe me it is going to be hard to raise my daughter on my own, but with love you will manage, dont worry, you can be the one to take care of your child alone, i know it will be hard, but hey youll get through it dont you worry,
I wish you the best od luck tassea  | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/15/2005 2:03:30 PM | Tassea, that truely sucks. Surround yourself with friends and family you can trust and who can be there for you. I'm too polite to put down here what I think of a so called "man" who could do that to another human being, let alone the mother of his unborn child. 
Best of luck for the future, and forget the looser. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/15/2005 4:32:54 PM | well, theres nothing i can truthfully say that in any way will somfort you ..I have been on the opposite side of the spectrum where my kids are used against me but know this there are decent men out there ,I myself married my ex knowing she was pregnant with someone elses chile and have raised was there throughout the whole pregnancy and have raised my son who will be three along with his sister who we had shortyly after.we divored about two years ago but he will never know anyother dad than me.all I can say is be carefull of posers who pray on single moms and use them for booty calls....just take your time take pleasure in your pregnancy enjoy this time it should be the greatest time in your life trust me his guilt will kill him......slowly...and he will forever wonder how the baby looks....is she/he okay....and will he ever see them.....get into local support groups go out ...flaunt it...dont let him see you down... | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 7/20/2005 8:57:30 PM | | Hey sweety.. Did you find the legal help that you were looking for? I wont say that Im a pro but I did study childrens law for over a year (if thats the kind of help your looking for). I deffinetly cant stand deadbeat parents and would be more than willing to help without any fee whatsoever! When I took my sons mom to court her attorney actually petitioned the courts to bill me because he thought he had an open and shut case. Boy was he wrong...lol | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 8/28/2005 2:29:10 AM | When I was pregnant my husband was a real POS. I had pretty much just moved to FL and had no friends or family and I was scared. Scared of the decision to have a child, scared of bringing a child into the nightmare that as my life, scared of being a mom, you name it I was scared. I even talked to a minister who told me the best idea would be to give the baby up for adoption and I really considered it.
First of all, when the nurse put her in my arms for the first time I understood what love was for the first time. I cried for me , for her, for every time I'd ever felt afraid when I was pregnant.
Don't laugh but what got me through so many of the ups and downs was a scene from Indiana Jones, he's standing at the edge of a cliff trying to figure out how to overcome this bit of his journey and he's saying something about leap of faith and finally he closes his eyes puts one foot out and steps off the cliff. His foot lands on a path that was not immediately visible.
When things got hard (and making decisions that will make your childs life better can be unbelievably hard) I pictured him and mentally took that step and I have never fallen off of the cliff. I went from total financial stability to asking for assistance, to slowly being able to pay the bills, to having a little extra, and it keeps getting better.
The one thing though that motivates me more than anything is keeping myself from being selfish, I decided to have her and keep her and it's up to me to make a life that will give her a chance to have a life and to make sure that she values herself enough that she will never be involved with a man who is not supportive, kind and loving.
Keep the faith, there are A LOT of women out here who have walked over hot coals and we're doing just fine. I don't know what you have near you but if you call the womans shelter or Social services they can probably get direct you to womens groups so you can get a support system.
Just a footnote, I believe the only reason I was with him was because Iw as meant to have her and she is worth every bit of crap I had to deal with. - but the person I am will never let a jerk like that in again. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 8/28/2005 8:06:50 AM | I just don't get the world we live in today...
It seems like every day I hear about another guy ditching his girlfriend or wife because she is carrying his baby. Everytime I hear about another dude taking off and leaving behind a kid and a single mother, I get so angry ... They don't realize what their missing... Birthdays, little league games, school, the laughter, the smiles, and so much more. Thats why someday I can't wait to be a father, because I will never put anyone through such pain by leaving behind a son/daughter and a woman who has proven her love by carrying and nurturing the child for so long. I want to be the one to hold back her hair durring morning sickness, I want to be the one who runs to the corner store to fulfill her cravings, I want to be the one who gets confused setting up the cradle, I want to be the one there helping her in the delivery room by comforting her as long as it takes. No one should be forced to grow up without a father figure. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 8/29/2005 7:27:47 PM | | Just thought i'd drop a line to say that guys that do that sh** don't deserve to be fathers. I dated this woman a few years back that her b/f bailed on her as soon as she broke the news of what was going on, and since I had known her for some time she turned to me for some support, which I was happy to offer. Needless to say as time went on we kept hanging out and then the dating began and I was so into her and was totally ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of her and the baby. But just about a week before the baby was born "he" came back into the picture and what did I get for the only one being there for her and dating her for the nearly 9 months, thanks for being there for me, but T**** and I want to try it again, he says he's ready to try it again. In the end he was there for her alright, for about a month and then bailed again, apparently he wasn't up to the challenge of fatherhood. When she called me and needed a shoulder to cry on and be there for her again, not to sound heartless, but I said sorry, once bitten, twice shy. But I would never bail on a pregnant woman and I would and like I said and did, date a preggo woman. Men who do do that are pricks. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 9/25/2005 8:23:20 AM | | I have just found myself in your exact situation. My fiance of three years left me to drink, gamble, go out with his friends and watch violent movies. When he found out I was pregnant he demanded I get an abortion and artificially inseminated with someone else so he would be off the hook. I guess he feels it's like buying a pair of pants. Just exchange them for a new pair. I guess by now you have had your baby and have moved on to the "I can't believe how much I love this kid" stage. I'm just starting the whole process and find myself wondering what in the world I am going to do. He also drained my bank account before he left, so I'm looking to state aid and speaking to a lawyer about what he is responsible for. As for his family, haven't heard from them at all, I guess that's my answer about them. I'm still dealing with the things that I never thought I would be doing alone and it's comforting to know other women have done it and survived. Hope all is better for you and the little one. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 9/25/2005 10:42:38 AM | | It just amazes me that any guy could walk away from their children. I guess it's just lack of character, or just not knowing what a special thing they are passing up. I couldn't imagine a life without my kids. I hope you find the help you need. Sometimes it's difficult to find when you need it. I guess the biggest plus is a child will make anything you have to go through worth it. How do you manage? Any time you start feeling overwhelmed just stop and take a good long look at your kid. The love in their eyes can jump start the worst of days. You will also find that knowing you are not allowed to give up any more is a great help in overcoming obstacles. | |
|
| Pregnant and alone.
Posted: 9/28/2005 8:05:25 AM | well first of all ur husband is a****u already know that :)
and two u should move back home since im guesisng u dont have a job.
get the support of ur parents and friends
eventually go back to school or something
get a good job
take care of urself and baby
i see too many women depend on a man and this kinda shit happens u gotta be able to take care of urself in case it happens
oh make sure ya get as much as u can for child support outta that s.o.b.
| |
|
Home
login 
