| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:32:36 PM | ^^Well of course if a person is tired of dating there is something wrong...
I don't think the next jump should be to conclude that there is something inherently wrong with THEM...
Everyone has their own dating style.. your formula won't necesessarily work for the next person..
Lets face it, we are all single.. we have all "failed" in one way or another... but we learn through the process and will all eventually succeed too ;) | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:40:50 PM | Hey Cedar,
That is a good attitude .....and have tried the numbers thing ....and tried to see each person as an opportunity to meet a nice person . Which has mostly been true ....but I have to admit it gets tireing ....at on the ladies side ;lol
mtnwildflower | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:48:28 PM | Lets face it, we are all single.. we have all "failed" in one way or another... but we learn through the process and will all eventually succeed too ;)
I don't look at it like we've "failed" ...but if you mean we are not perfect or that we have made mistakes... I agree , but being single is not failure.
I am simply saying that if a person has been on so many dates (50..100 ?) that they are sick of dating but they and are still looking ....there is something wrong.
I agree that everyone has there own style ....but I think that if anything people don't date enough and waste time mostly typing and chatting...which is what I personaly am tired of. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:56:18 PM | i don't think there is something 'wrong' if you are tired of dating.... just because you are single doesn't mean you should always want to date or something is 'wrong'... i am all for taking a break if you're growing weary of the whole scene after so many disappointments.... i think i'm to that point myself | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:09:50 PM | | Yes very tired of the whole thing it feels like a really bad reality show,.relationships are too disposable now,.that seems too be the way it is,.and everything is put in fast motion and you date with a resume,.just like applying for a job,. it feels artifical and fake . I think we have been burned so many times we don't allow anyone too penetrate past the wall we put up to protect ourselves,.we go through the motions because the only thing worse then being hurt,. is being lonely. Then it becomes about finding someone too fill that lonely part,.and we clain it too be love,which won't last because its not the real thing. That is if there is really such a thing as LOve who the heck declared love and decided we all needed it anyways lol,.its just a pain ,.grrr | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:41:12 PM | i don't think there is something 'wrong' if you are tired of dating.... just because you are single doesn't mean you should always want to date or something is 'wrong'... i am all for taking a break if you're growing weary of the whole scene after so many disappointments.... i think i'm to that point myself
I did say after having many dates..(50 or 100 )
But you're allowed to disagree .....that is for sure ,
I just don't see the reason it should be so bad as to give up....I have mostly (not always) had fun on dates. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:50:45 PM | Yes very tired of the whole thing it feels like a really bad reality show,.relationships are too disposable now,.that seems too be the way it is,.and everything is put in fast motion and you date with a resume,.just like applying for a job,. it feels artifical and fake .
I've heard many times that many guys / girls treat it like an interview..... That's why it sucks.
I personally look at it like a chance to get out and meet someone new . I think it's how comfortable I feel ....whether I feel we deeply and personally click , and of course , how attracted I feel .I know I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know...
It's only a start and the idea is to enjoy yourself and have a drink or whatever ....just meet someone new without expecting anything but hoping for atleast nice time and maybe alot more in the future.
And if it's not happening that is ok....it's not really a failure . | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 9:22:42 PM | M....I.....C...... K.....E.........Y
mouse.
If you can say/sing the above to the original tune, you're still young enough to sing/dance in the rain.
BUT..........
you probably wish going to the drive-in with a group of friends and then flirting with the opposite sex was still 'the norm' for a weekend.
Soooo true about the 'interview process'. Guess what???? No...no...not 'chicken squat' 
I was on here before under another name. Ended up on over 100 Favs list...knew about 20% of em, met out approx 10%. Got totally fed up with the 'outdated pics' and/or the lies about really enjoying camping/fishing/etc. (I REALLY do like camping, etc.). Do women tell these fabrications as much as men? Meaning... putting stuff in profiles they think potential matches would want to hear.
Anyway, the other day I was about to just go into 'hiding' rather than totally deleting out my profile... and just hang on the forums. Right before I was getting ready to hide my profile, some emails popped in which were actually intriguing. I'm going to meet one in particular this coming weekend.
STILL.....
I'd rather be telling the guy to meet me at the snack bar at the local drive-in as I'll be there with my girlfriends this weekend. And, therein lies the problem. None of this internet avenue is 'a glance'... 'a note passed in study hall'....we just have to make do, chat and hope the other person is telling the truth on all accounts when we meet em out.
Yep, am tired of the 'dating loop'.  Just take a break from time to time and then, get back in when refreshed.  | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 9:37:10 PM | i figure it takes a long enough time to really get to know that person your with so i don't like to call it dating for a while, more like just hanging out with someone alot cuter than me...ha ha. Personally i know too many people who fall madly in love in 2 weeks and split up in 4 weeks and create some wierd" drama force field around them" that seems to suck everyone within 2o yrds into it.Which in turn sucks the fun and interest outta everyone else in the process. My motto(just me) i live everyday almost as if it could be my last, don't ever take a single thing in life for granted,enjoy every min you can,live it for what it's truely worth . Give out every emotion,affection and true intent as you can,live up to your word .Dating feels tiresome cause all the little white lies and assorted bits add to the tiresome feeling and mindset.  | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 86 | |
| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 9:47:08 PM | If you get tired of dating maybe you should use my little trick:
Jsut date once every 18 months. See? Can't get tired of it that way, by the time the next date comes along, babyyyyy you're ready for a night on the town!!
The downside to this trick is ya do have to buy new clothes for every single date...since styles change from one date to the next. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:11:56 PM | | right after my marriage was over someone introduced moi to this place and I spent some time on here,in the forums.After a while I started messaging woman to get me some dates.Well it didn't take very long before I did not want to go out on a date,you know,was not worth the effort at all.Then a few friends suggested alternatives to dating and that was, getting out there and meeting a whole bunch of woman all at the same time,this as fun but it still did not work for me then out of the blue,this very cute gal started posting regularly on one of the forums. We didn't date that much at all before we both wanted to be together,alot.Now it is very much most awesome to go out on a date with her and we have a very good time. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 5:07:36 AM | MANY MANY GREAT POSTS!
After reading and rereading all your posts, we all form a triagle of sorts..the wide bottom being the group of us then our thoughts and opinions are virtually alined and alike just with many different perpectives leading to the same point. If Dr Phil ever read these posts maybe he'd have a semblence of reality. He spews his nonsense to bored folks with nothing better to do when they could read the forums here and actually get valuable guidence and advice.
As for dating alot to be wrong or getting bored with the endless interviews..well I have to totally disagree..
I think..one becomes jaded in the fact that your expectations of a new date may be set to a lofty extreme that is virtually impossible to be. For me, I meet someone, open minded with the idea that anything is possible under the right circumstances. I always fins one thing I do like about the lady and try and focus on that..with one exception.
Met a lady, gorgeous and built to draw stares from emn and women..first 5 minutes she complained about my home, my truck, the area and on and on..so at the resturant she complained at the wait, the waitress, then the food served..I politely stood up..paid the bill ,asked her to get up and escorted her to my truck, opening the door ofcourse..drove directly to her car, opened the door and said thanks but no thanks..
there is a list of these type dates..one who opened her coat with nothing on underneath as we left her house..the lady who tongue kissed the waiter..the lady who brought a bag of adult toys, threw them on my couch and said..pick the first two..oh hell the list is too long..
this ...my friends is why I'm tired of dating..are there not NORMAL people out there anymore?
dusty
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 5:16:27 AM | nope! not tired, love the giddy anticipatory feelings of hanging out with someone cool.
I do get tired/frustrated of those who don't want to make a date fun/easygoing, you know the kind who do treat it like an interview, please people it's supposed to be FUN!
If you don't like me "that way" (hello grade 9 flashbacks hah) or if I don't get the butterflies from you ,hey thats OKAY, not the end of the world at all.
on the flipside there are few things as sweet as the dating of someone new!
except of course dating and building a relationship with someone new! | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 5:50:02 AM | There have been many times I've gone to the party alone for that special person was not in my life at the time. I cannot think of a time I was not enthused about going on a date.
That has nothing to do with how it turns out. lol...
But when I look back , it's a learning experience of what feels good and what may not.
All is good with the journey. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 8:58:25 AM | | I think sometimes getting tired of dating has to do with getting your heart squished too many times and giving it some time to heal........... That is how I feel about it at the moment. I went out with a guy from POF Saturday night after we had talked a couple of weeks. He would send me like 25 emails back and forth a day, then call every night. He was a total sweet talker, said he could see a future with me, blah blah blah.. Well, I usually don't like someone so much that I haven't met but I did this time and fell hook, line, and sinker for his bs. So we met and it went GREAT, totally attracted to each other, kissing and holding hands all evening. Then at the end of the night I wouldn't have sex (which I told him beforehand I wouldn't) and then I don't hear from him again, totally blown off. Then I see him in a forum telling someone the reason he only has 1 rose now is because he was just being nice to someone that sent him one. TOTAL LIE Needless to say I am a little hesitant about jumping into dating again........... | |
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atlast
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Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 92 | |
| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 9:23:33 AM | | I am not tired of dating. I am tired of wondering if I have hooked up with another drama queen who can't let go of the past and enjoy the present, and is determined to ruin this date to prove how right she is about how evil men are. I am tired of people in my age group playing childish games as if they are fresh from high school. I am tired of worrying about whether I am with another woman who after two drinks will turn into psycho/Satan queen and go on a rant about life in general as I nervously look for the back door, and estimate if I can get to it before she realizes my escape plan and impales me through the heart with her alien spear tail and begins sucking the life out of me. What I wouldn't give for a good old fashioned date where no sex is a given, but holding hands and some kisses could well happen, and you sit and smile at each other through dinner instead of sizing each other up for the kill. Perhaps she might lay her head on your shoulder during the movie, and by the end of the night you are walking on air and can't wait to see her or talk to her again, because she might be the one. To top it off, neither of you, not one time during the whole date, stops to wonder how this person is going to screw you over, because after all, all men/women are alike. Boy, I sure retreated off into my fantasy world there, didn't I? | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 9:51:23 AM | | It has only been 8 months now after a 5 year relationship I was in ended. I have dated only one guy, and only just recently, we had 3 dates. Already I think I have been dumped...oh the rejection...guess I am not what he was looking for....I am already tired of the dating scene and the rejection...the uncertainty, the wondering and the up tightness it plain wore me out already..Did I do or say something wrong? Did he not like what I wore? My makeup? My hair? Was I not aggressive enough, too aggressive? Was he judging me about my circumstances? Did I dance funny? Did he get turned off because he saw the tattoo on my shoulder? My guilt because he traveled a distance to date me..his kindness, my own questions exhaust me...smile..I want to move to the end already....the comfort level...the "zone", the certainty of what to expect, etc. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 10:42:06 AM | Dating is frustrating, but it all depends on your perspective. Don't take it too seriously...until it gets serious. But when you first meet someone, that's what it is, you're just meeting them and getting to know them. If things don't work out, oh well...wouldn't you rather know in the beginning anyways?
Some of us are too high strung me thinks. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 11:12:29 AM | Sweet,
I think, atleast for me..after 24 years of having a constant partner...you become so conditioned to someone being there..knowing you...that when it disappears we long for that comfort once again. So I do understand and sympathize with blondie..I would like nothing more than to get back what I once had..but rethinking that statement it's not possible..you can and must recreate a new comfort...but it takes time..ofcourse being younger time is of no concequence in our minds...but once we are in our 40 or 50s we become anxious for that comfort zone...rush to make decisions..sometimes rationalize their dates behavior from what used to be unacceptable to ok I can live with that..
I don't mean to trivialize or rationalize this "conditioning..but sadly some of us lose our
personality and meld into the couple personna..WHAM.. you become single again..with a feeling of loss...much like grieving..then we start to date once again...
GEEESSUSSSSSSSSSS have things changed...we're older..kids and grandkids...people are more aggressive..and everything else that comes with meeting new people..AGAIN!
atleast this is my take..
dusty
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 12:05:45 PM | | Why should something be wrong with someone if they are tired of dating...... As I stated before I have only had 3 dates in the last 8 months (after being engaged for the past 5 years) I am tired of it already....there is nothing wrong with me.. I don't have a high tolerance for rejection or rejecting others...I didn't have high expectations...wasn't demanding..didn't show up in a coat with nothing underneath but my panties and bra...didn't act weird, unkind, demanding, unappreciative..the last date ended fine..I thought...but apparently I did something wrong....or perhaps it was him checking out other women while on the date which made him realize he wasn't with who he wanted to be... .now I am sad and blue.....and have to pick up the pieces AGAIN...and go on..feeling slighted.....felt the blow-off coming when the habit of the e-mails being sent back and forth for a month stopped with no explanation...... .it hurt..big time....how is any of that fun....what is fun about being nervous that what you say, wear, your opinions, your circumstances, the distance, your habits, his habits, etc. could be a deal breaker...yes dating should be fun...but is it really? I would much rather have that comfort zone...that person who knows when, where and how to touch me, and me him..who my hand is automatically in his hand because that is where it is supposed to be, who finishes my sentences for me, and I his.....it just feels right....but as DK says it is not possible to get back what once was....so I guess in order to get to that place again..there has to be a series of dates...yuck..that sucks...big time...but I guess the smile goes back on my face and I will try to be a trooper once again...smile. The good thing is, having experienced it before...there is someone out there...hopefully still, that the "comfort" will be there again without having to work on it. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 12:27:31 PM | blondeandhappy,
I know how you feel! It sounds like what happened with my last date (a few posts above this explains mine)... I know it does hurt when the constant lovey dovey emails stop abruptly and you get the total blow off.. It hurts at first but after a couple of days I came to my senses and realized that it is their loss! It seems there are some real players on here disguised as gentlemen and we need to be careful and keep our wits about us... I think in the future it is wise to not get so caught up in the romance and excitement of it all and not open up so much until after you have went on a couple of dates.... It is seems to good to be true it usually is so just be careful out there in this crazy world we call dating..... Before you guys say it, yes I know not all on here are players and there are some good ones, but still we all need to guard our hearts until we know someone a little bit longer and after a few dates at least, don't ya think? Good luck blondeandhappy! | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 12:46:41 PM | | yes i'm sick and tired of meeting and greeting and slowly finding out how devious and sucky people really are after the time you waste waiting to sleep with someone so you don't feel like a slut, when you really should have just banged them and dropped them. i want a relationship i really do, but this is the vicious cycle of dating in my life and i'm over it. i guess you can say now i like to stick and move. i've always had trust issues so that gives me fear of ever getting married and divorced. i hate it. i don't date really if i wouldn't want to do the guy then i'm not gonna pretend to care... which is sad to say because all of the scumbags of my past have rubbed off on my but its my only defense mechanism | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 12:53:35 PM |
Sweet,
I think, atleast for me..after 24 years of having a constant partner...you become so conditioned to someone being there..knowing you...that when it disappears we long for that comfort once again. So I do understand and sympathize with blondie..I would like nothing more than to get back what I once had..but rethinking that statement it's not possible..you can and must recreate a new comfort...but it takes time..ofcourse being younger time is of no concequence in our minds...but once we are in our 40 or 50s we become anxious for that comfort zone...rush to make decisions..sometimes rationalize their dates behavior from what used to be unacceptable to ok I can live with that..
I don't mean to trivialize or rationalize this "conditioning..but sadly some of us lose our
personality and meld into the couple personna..WHAM.. you become single again..with a feeling of loss...much like grieving..then we start to date once again...
GEEESSUSSSSSSSSSS have things changed...we're older..kids and grandkids...people are more aggressive..and everything else that comes with meeting new people..AGAIN!
atleast this is my take..
dusty
Believe me, I know about the couple mentality. I was with my ex for quite some time...we were engaged, I had a wedding dress...etc etc. Turned out he was a liar and a con artist and left me with some major debt and trust issues. But I don't let that dictate how I behave now. Not all men are my ex. Sure, I'm much smarter now, and I listen to my GUT instead of my heart. I think you just have to adapt to your surroundings and circumstances. It's not easy, but it has to be done...if I don't want to be single forever!
I know it's not 24 years, but I do understand where you are coming from...knowing you have someone to come home to, someone that supports you....it's hard not having that. | |
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| Do you ever just get tired of dating?
Posted: 3/29/2007 12:57:24 PM | vahbsc,
girl you are too funny! funny, but actually sad.... don't let the bad ones keep you from trusting a potential good one.... be cautious, but be open and start working hard on those trust issues.... you've got to keep taking those chances if you want a relationship.... and don't sell yourself short by doin the old 'stick and move'... try reading love smart by dr. phil, it's a great book, great advice! i for one am not gonna let a handful of dirt bags ruin it for my future husband wherever he may be! | |
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