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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:07:03 AM | I highly, highly recommend the book "He's Scared, She's Scared". It also talks about people who live in a romantic fantasy world with a "perfect" picture of what they want and how they push people away dramatically if they get a sense that that perfect picture won't just fall into place (some people just aren't willing to work for it). The book has really given me some answers in a situation where I just felt dumbfounded and like I would never have any answers to the questions "why" and "what happened".
Sorry about what happened, coming from something similar I can relate and say that I agree with the fact that most people these days live in a romantic fantasy and when those people don't get what they invasion will simply walk away from the relationship.
I think these people are unwilling to work at a relation because they live in a fantasy world and are unable to discern when they are in a good relationship.... VERY SAD! | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:37:43 AM | The capacity to give and receive long-term love is about as unique as every individual seeking romantic love. Love at first sight is like love at first e-mail: it does happen to a fortunate few; it will happen to a few more.
But for most of us, long-term love is exactly that: love that evolves over a long period of time and trust. While i have been married and no longer am seeking marriage, my two years' worth of single and middle-aged have brought some honorable, caring, and genuine people to my life courtesy of WorldOnline. And plenty of fish have initially e-mailed my socks off. Only to cut bait & swim off into deeper and wider seas before i've had a chance to type, "It's been nice to know you, and may you find all the good things you're seeking" and hit the "send" button.
In thinking about what kind of person is capable of giving and receiving love, the one thing i have concluded is this: there's everything to be said for "staying power." Some of us are wired to keep the lines of communication open and appreciate whatever good we receive from getting to know another person. Others simply lack this capacity -- or are not interested in taking advantage of it. Vive la difference, and may we all appreciate each other's differences sooner than later to avoid misunderstandings.
There are a few spectacular things about being a middle aged adult. For most of us these do not include: the ability to sit down after a full day at work and watch the game of the week without falling asleep right before somebody makes the winning play! And do include the realization that can choose to expend our energy planning the ultimate journey or to give every step of the present journey everything we've got. If we choose to do the latter, there are plenty of others more than willing and able to join us in making the most of our today --- and share our dreams for tomorrow.
It's a spectacular day here in the Northeast. Happy "Sun" day to All! | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:06:00 AM | some of the questions we have, we will never find the answers to..
It sucks ...but it is just the way things are sometimes
It is best to just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and try to move on with your life.
I am sure that he did this because of something he was lacking, and if you look at every aspect I am sure you will eventually figure out what that is. I think in most cases, it is as simple as a lack in communication. Then there is always the old..."his feelings werent as strong as he thought and when tested..he realized it" (Harsh but true)
However He has made his choice and although it is hard to accept , you have to do it and walk away.
a piece of a song that kind of made sense to me in this situation..
Sheryl Crow~ Always on your side
Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
Is this how its really meant to be?
no, this isn't how its really meant to be
Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away,
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wandering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side? | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:38:45 AM | I was in a 6 year relationship, wasn't always perfect, but I loved him very much, during the 6 years, we went our seperate ways once for 9 months. Got back together, and just two days after Thanksgiving, 2006, he had been drinking, got angry, and decided it was time to take our relationship to the next level!!! he hit me!!! and when my 15 year old daughter came to my rescue, he turned on her and kicked her twice. My 15 year old got away from him, grabbed the phone, and my 10 yr. old daughter, and ran out the door, and called the police. He was arrested that night, spent 3 days in jail before some friends of his bailed him out of jail. Ready for this one "3 weeks" later he was chatting with a woman on the internet. I found this out because we had a shared email account. It has only been 5 months, and he married her 2 weeks ago! But repeated history tells me why. He was involved with a woman for 10 years, and when they split up, he married his second wife 3 weeks later, it lasted 7 months. And the woman he was with for 10 years, recently died of cancer, and her dying wish was a promise from her friends that they would forbid him to attend her funeral because she hated him that much!!!! and just to add to this absurd story....the woman that died had a sister....I just recently found out he slept with her during our 9 month break up!!! Keep in mind this is a man (using that term loosely) that I was with for 6 yrs and engaged to 5 out of those 6, but was at least smart enough to not marry him...I hope his recent bride realizes that the only thing he brought into the marriage was a felony charge for domestic abuse, 2 yrs of probation, 2 yrs of domestic violence classes, and 2 yrs of anger management, all court ordered. Maybe I should send her a framed copy of the court papers, and framed copies of the two "protective orders" so she can hang them on the wall next to the their wedding picture??? The state of Indiana deemed him and ass, I didn't have to. The man didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. But had she spent alittle more time getting to know him, she may have found this all out, before she committed to marriage. On the other hand she works, has a good job, 3 kids, a home, a car....all the things he didn't and doesn't have....well if she is reading this, I had all of those things too, when I met him!!! now I have alot of emotional scars, a lot of debt, no credit....but because of my self worth, determination, and self love, and love for my kids, I do have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of!!! smile. I have alot of things he never will, family and friends that love me and care for me....I use to think that the grass was greener on the other side, and when I jumped over the fence...all I found was a bunch of ole' billy goats eating up all my green grass....but I now how to replant that grass, with seed, sunshine, love, and water, and grow me some more green grass......thanks for listening
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:54:11 AM | Hey, sorry to hear that. Hopefully the right guy WILL come along and will NOT treat you like that. It's better he leaves you now than at the altar or after you had a few kids, trust me! There are good guys out there, and you and I just have to be patient. Hang in there 
Why is your name "Miss Evil Brat" anyway? Just wonder... The best to you! Keep fishing! 
L | |
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Otoño
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Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 60 | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 10:45:37 AM | Sweetlips;;;;;;;I really like what you wrote. You are right on the money....I'd like to add, that we are all volnerable >>>lol....vonerable?? anyhoo...erven when we say we are inlove and that we love you...all humans arn't perfect neither is the one we say we love...love is blind...
so when we say we love you..we are saying that 
I love you even if you have a cow lick, or wear too much make up, or you laugh like a jack ass, or your a poor sob, and only watch tv instead of a go getter ...remember your faults you do have and if someone comes along that is better than you...don't think because you have someone that says they love you with all your faults..You don't have to improve on youirself and keep both of you down ...we humans are never satisfied and one day your gonna wake up say..What happend...Don't take them for granted, We are what we say and do!!!
Be good to yourself and to thyne own self be true.....Someone can love you for you ...let one catch you.... | |
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melyse
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Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 4/22/2007 10:48:55 AM | Well kids.....I have spent a good hour reading all your messages and my heart goes out to all those of you who have loved and lost....I have not spent my life's journey without feeling the same pain at one time or another..but....now think about it...wasn't there a lesson that you learned after all this was over? I believe in this Universe, everything happens for a reason, to teach us something about our lives.... and maybe it is too fresh for some, but down the road, when you perhaps meet someone new and wonderful, or your ex ends up robbing a bank, or is diagnosed with schitzophrenia or Multiple Personality Disorder (a little extreme perhaps) there was a reason that you guys did not make it......
I remember a quote from the movie "Moonstruck"..when Nicholas Cage holds out his "dead" hand to Cher and says; "We are not perfect, the moon is perfect, the stars are perfect, not us, not us...we are put on this earth to ruin ourselves, love the wrong person and die...the story books are bu!!sh!t...now come upstairs and get in my bed! "
When we all stop looking for perfection, we invite the right person into our lives...
Good Luck to you all!  | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:00:14 AM | Someone says they love you then 3 weeks later leaves you? Honestly, they did you a favor...now get over it. READ READ READ books on this subject. I recommend the 4 agreements. don't just read it once. again and again just like you torment yourself about lost love over and over again in your mind and punsish yourself. YOu have to talk yourself into it as much as you talk yourself out of it.  
 now hug yourseelf and learn that , the next time someone tells you or shows you that you are not appreciated, Refuse to give them the power to steal your freedom to be able to move on to love someone new with full knowledge that you are worth loving . You are aren't you? if not , start being someone worth loving. READ READ READ get those irrational thoughts out of your head READ READ READ. There are many ways to look and understand about things. swim in the deep end of more ideas about life and how to live it.
Now I gotta read and do some reinventing my dream.                  I those smilies | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 6/14/2009 9:21:19 AM | Rule #1. Many guys are not who they say they are. Go slowly! Proceed with caution!
Rule #2 Esteem yourself highly. Don't put a man before you.
Rule #3 Always be on guard for those odd ones.
Final Rule. Don't give yourself away. Keep you for you.
Once you have given a piece of you away, you cant take it back.
There are good ones out there but it takes time. | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:02:27 AM | Human love is fickle, fleeting, fragile, changes with the wind...don't put too much faith in it. Embrace the love of God (or whatever your source is) as the constant, and let people come and go in and out of your life as they may, loving them fully while they're there, then being ready to let them go.
Meanwhile, join a social group through a site like meetup.com (it's free) and enjoy some good company. It might not lead to close, intimate contact with a sweetie, but start talking and you'll make good friends. | |
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| How does someone say they love you and miss you, three weeks later starts seeing someone else?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:47:30 AM | I may have missed why your relationship ended, but that could have something to do with what's happening. For instance, is it over because of a problem that couldn't be worked out? This past weekend I ended a nine month relationship with a guy I met on here whom I had fallen wildly in love with, but he just could never make plans with me and keep them. I feel like my oxygen supply has been cut off, but I couldn't go on never knowing when I was going to see him and feeling like I was not very high on his priority list. I ended it in order to salvage my self-esteem and it's killing me, but I will go on and keep looking and, yes, probably before three weeks have passed - if only to keep my mind off of him.
The meetup.com advice is good. You should definitely check it out. I belong to several of the groups, but haven't been participating because I was dating who I thought was the perfect guy..... | |
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