| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/5/2007 8:52:24 PM | | I know that when my husband was cheating on me , he told the new girlfriend that he and I were not getting along and that we had been discussing a divorce for some time. Then when he moved out, he told her that I was relieved he was leaving and I was really excited about getting divorced. None of this was true, by the way. On the other hand, I never blamed the new girlfriend, because I knew she was lied to as well. He lied to her to make her feel more comfortable with the situation. If he had told her he had a wife and 4 kids at home who were begging him to stay, it probably wouldn't have had the same effect ! Having said all of that, I think you have to be at least a little careful when you get involved with someone who is married. After all, if you marry them will they do the same thing to you? I think about that myself. However, there are two sides to every story. I happen to also know of individuals who were both married, both extremely unhappy, who ended divorcing their spouses, getting married, and living happily ever after for the next 20 plus years. So go figure! | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/8/2007 8:49:42 PM | NO! He belongs to someone else, and despite all his wonderful excuses for why he is pursuing you, he is dishonorable.
Respect. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:04:46 PM | Absolutely not.
You may not have any obligation to anyone. But he sure does, and if that is not a true indicator of his character or preview of what he may just do to you one day, than I don't know what is. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:07:47 PM | *falls off chair laughin* Most married men are unhappy in their marriage, most married men are eventually going to get a divorce, most married men are married to ****es from hell. Most married men will NOT leave their wife!!! They just want to get a lil sumthan sumthan on the side, which is exactly what they are sweet talkin your ass into givin em with all that crap..
P.S. Put yourself in his wife shoes, would you like that done to you?? 10 to 1 she's not got a clue he's so unhappy, probably because he's not! He's a dog and anyone who messes with someone elses man is a dog too.. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/9/2007 11:01:09 PM | | To the poster of message 47; yes, it does have a basis in logic. Either you are willing to break the rules or you're not. Some of us won't. No matter what. There are certain expectations we have about being married to someone, certain codes of conduct we should follow in respect to the person we marry. We see it as wrong to step outside marriage, and we won't do it. Ever, and we won't get involved with those who do. Those of you who can consider a situation where you would have an intimate relationship where one of you is married to someone else cannot understand us. I've been contacted here by a woman who told me there are times when the rules can be broken. Well, not for me. I guess she felt the rules don't apply to her. I come across a lot of people who think they are above the rules, that they don't have to be held to the standards that they would expect of others. I still don't understand that. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 2:28:43 AM | no way, dangerous terrority and 7/10 always go back to the wife anyway as they get too comfortable with the materiallistic things in the marriage. Don't fall for the "we not happy and have not been for some time" routine either, women they chose to have an affair with are not simply there for a bed activity partner, nor can we be expected to be the samaritans or relate. It simple if he is not happy then he has the option to leave but that is something he needs to decide for himself and his conscience and for no other reason (ie i have met someone new) . I have a friend who dated a married man some years ago and every time they had an argument he would throw it back in her face how he left his wife etc for her, which is not good really, and puts a strain on the relationship.
The other things you have to consider is if he is willing to cheat on his wife with you can you be 100% sure he will not do the same to you?... I would say leave alone while he is married and simply say to him, sorry i dont wish to get involved with you sexually or relationship wise why you are still married, i feel like i would be betraying your wife and i would not like it done to me. Your choice huns but most married men simply only want the bits from other women to compenstate what they are missing at home (usually sex) and in all honesty if they are getting this elsewhere they will never want to leave the marriage as they cant see there is anything really wrong in it, they are getting satisfied elsewhere so no need to is there?. Don't be a mug, be used for a quick leg over when it suits him, or a doormat for some guy who maybe just wants his cake and eat it too.
good luck anyway x | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 3:54:26 AM | "You may not have any obligation to anyone. But he sure does, and if that is not a true indicator of his character or preview of what he may just do to you one day, than I don't know what is."
While I whole heartedly stand by this statement.....I'm always amazed that more people don't actually question the character of the person considering the married man to begin with.....It's not like they haven't heard all these cliched character assessments of the MAN, and how he'll treat YOU before......My question always is.....if you were so willing to break up any marriage, good or bad, by YOUR role.....how many OTHER lives have you affected in a selfish way in your lifetime. How many 'friends' have you stabbed in the back in your life to simply get what YOU want? Can't say I can trust ya as far as I could throw ya.... | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 4:36:05 AM | I would be hitting the road and letting the poor boy sort out his life before going any further with me.
Life is too short to waste on men who can't get divorced, can't get separated, and who can't move on. It's one thing to "talk". It's another thing to do. Men who can't "do" are written off in my books.
But that's just my 2 cents worth. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 5:15:40 AM | | You claim adamantly that you won't be pursuing this piglet but come on, why did you come here and poll people like you did, asking "Would you pursue a married man?" unless you were wanting to see if others might then hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. How transparent. A quality women wouldn't have even wasted the time it took to post such a question, no offense, the situation would have been a total 'no brainer', no even worth getting input on. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 5:16:40 AM | | You claim adamantly that you won't be pursuing this piglet but come on, why did you come here and poll people like you did, asking "Would you pursue a married man?" unless you were wanting to see if others might then hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. How transparent. A quality women wouldn't have even wasted the time it took to post such a question, no offense, the situation would have been a total 'no brainer', no even worth getting input on. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 5:28:40 AM | Here's what I learned from EXPERIENCE! If he'll cheat on his wife, he'll cheat on YOU!!!!
I have been through it twice!
My first experience was with a man I knew was married, but I was very young and naive. After a THREE YEAR courtship, he never divorced his wife as promised, AND, here's the kicker....HE CHEATED ON ME WITH ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS!!
The second experience was with someone who was married, but I didn't find out until AFTER we were living together and engaged for a year. He then told me their divorce papers had already been filed - NOT TRUE. (He was in the Navy and his wife lived in their home in the next state over. He got away with his lies by going home on weekends to "see his son".) He did finally divorce his wife, but after 5 years of being "engaged" to him with no date set for a wedding, he cheated on me with someone he met at work!
All tolled, I wasted EIGHT years of my precious life on two snakes!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!!
I know I risk everyone in POF knowing how dumb I was, but I'm here to give you some good advice learned the hard way. I don't blame you for your feelings, we can't always control our heart, but we have to use our head in many cases. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!!! | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 5:32:45 AM | | Run!!!! as fast as you can.,......He's not looking for anything other than a fling and you will be the one that get's hurt. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:04:18 PM | Tell him to get divorced because he doesn't want to be married to his wife anymore and then contact you a year down the line. If you feel that strongly for each other it will last.
Truthfully I can't even imagine why a woman would even need to ask this question. Oh and before I forget 5 years down the line when or if your married to him, just wait for him to be late home one night - the brain will start wondering!!! | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:20:59 PM | | No, are you kidding? "My wife doesn't understaaaaaaaaand me!" The oldest line in the book. How many wives do you know who DO understand a guy who is always looking for an easy mark? Please. Let him get his affairs in order, first. Because otherwise, when he's tired of you (and looking for the next sucker) he and his wife will - surprise! - suddenly work things out. You can do better. Lose him. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:41:07 PM | cajun, If you truly believe that line he just fed you, there is some waterfront property in the World of Oz over looking the field of poppies near the Emerald City that is up for sale?? | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 1:55:38 PM | Why do men think they can please more than one woman at a time....oh wait....I forgot! It isn't about the woman...it is about their ego and that addictive feeling that trying not to get caught gives them.
Plus, if he will cheat with you....then he will cheat on you.
Kick him to the curb! | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 5/10/2007 2:05:24 PM | | Only if he was trying to serenade me under my balcony. Then I would pursue him right down the street, wielding a cast iron frying pan, and probably throwing a few rotten tomatoes too. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/10/2007 5:02:04 PM | Im back again to add.....lol 2nd posting on the topic
The one thing we know is most men will say i cheat on my partner/wife as the sex is missing at home, so be it... but have any of thease men actually sat down and communicated verbally with them if only to ask the partner/wife why they dont wish to participate in sex with them anymore?...... or are they not bothered if they can get it wet elsewhere and have 10 mins satisfaction from a complete stranger? And have to ask why is it most married men make a bee line for the single girls, get them hooked and then confess to be married. Yes some of us single woman think we are dating a single guy and then by sheer suprise its i have something to tell you im married, does this change anything between us??. .. well if it was me in that position it would be, oh yes there is the door, walk through it, close it behind you and dont return , find yourself another piece of cake to chew on!!
As a friend said to me once after many years of cheating on his partner unknowing to her, i knew my marriage was complelety over when the wife cheated on me and left me for him.....kind of knocked his ego somewhat and made him realise what he had trully lost for the sake of getting his end away somewhere else and being so "she dont give it to me at home and i havent bothered to ask why"..... COMMUNCIATION makes a good marriage/relationship not sex, just a shame some people dont want to try or bother communicating anymore.
Right i'm done..... just something thats been bugging me and my way of understanding why people feel cheating is the anwser that's all. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/10/2007 5:21:18 PM | Run, dont stop running, dont take his calls, tell him when he is divorced, has moved out from his marital home, and has stopped creating children with his WIFE, that you will consider it.
Men Lie, men cheat and you are the other woman.....
dont do it | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:11:14 PM | I'm sorry op , i will have to say a definitely no to this question. Now many people also say a guy that is seperated is married i dont have that opinion, thats may be because i am still working through my divorce. But a man that is livin with his wife, if he cheats on her it is likely he will cheat on you.
I only treat people the way i expect to be treated my self, and honesty is a huge issue with me . So my advice would be however nice he is wait untill he is out of his marriage then date him, but don't wait for him , life is too short to be on the back burner. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:56:41 PM | I believe you know the answer to this one.
My question is......"Why you're asking everyone else?" | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 100 | |
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:03:47 PM | Did that once about 40 years ago. His first wife has no idea how lucky she was that he disappered so quickly from her life.
Just remember, if he cheats on her to be with you, he'll cheat on you to be with someone else. | |
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