| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/18/2007 7:38:17 PM | Cajun....
I think the majority rules on this one....stay away from the marrieds....they are nice and they are good looking....that is why they get away with breaking hearts left and right and not giving a damn about the mess they leave behind....don't go there
Vernalli | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/18/2007 7:53:06 PM | Jesus H. Christ but there are so many prudes on this site!
Why does everyone seem to feel the need to jump up and proclaim loudly to the world that they are the arbiter of morality for everyone else?
If she wants a married guy, let her go get him. They're all adults.
No one gets to decide for someone else what is right or wrong. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:12:49 PM | | Wow lancer525....quite a take you have on things. While it's true that they're all adults, there is a very definite line between right and wrong here. I suppose if he has told his wife of his intentions and she agrees that extra marital affairs falls into the spectrum of what is acceptable in their marriage, then sure, go for it. However, I would be very, very surprised if she isn't just oblivious to the situation. What if there are kids involved? Still okay? He's a schmuck and Yoyanna's a sucker for falling for his nonsense. I'm sure she could do much, much better....as I've already suggested. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:07:38 AM | He probably looked at your profile, saw you are a single mom, found out you have only been divorced for 3 months and said- found me a live one! There are guys on here that think that because you are a single mom, especially newly divorced, that you are in a vulnerable place right now (and you could very well be), so you would be easy to take advantage of. PLEASE don't play this game with this guy! He has the ultimate excuse to bail when the thrill is gone from his relationship with you- "I told you I was married when we first met... her and I are going to work things out- and would leave you with nothing but hurt feelings and a guilty conscience. You need time to heal, not to be dragged into someone else's drama.
If he's that great and he's really intending to end his marriage, tell him you will talk to him when he has done the break up. If he really is a great guy, he will do nothing but respect you for it. If he isn't, you'll never hear from him again. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:11:19 AM | Lancer,
If no one else gets to decide what is right or wrong, why is he getting to decide what is right or wrong for the health of a marriage that belongs to both him and his wife? When does she get to decide?
A marriage is a promise two people make to each other in front of God and witnesses. Unless they took out the part about faithfulness, then he is breaking part of a promise he made to his wife every time he cheats on her. Are you saying that it is okay to go around breaking your promises? | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:18:29 AM | Yoyanna,
Maybe the ones you want are always taken because you have issues that make you too afraid to date the ones that aren't? It's always easier to handle getting dumped and/or played when you know ahead of time, so you guard yourself. Or you like or think you deserve to get hurt.
If you are depressed and since you seem to have commitment issues, maybe you should consider therapy instead of an affair. The only person who can fill that void is you.... | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:49:34 AM | | don't trust him, most of these married men spin women the same line, i've seen it so many times, be on your guard and enjoy things as they are but don't let him pull the wool over your eyes, actions speak louder than words and what he says is necessarily what he does, a lot of men want their cake and to eat it too, be careful, if he has 3 kids he's not very likely to leave his marriage and children and it isnt fair on his family what he is doing - tell him to get marriage guidance and get out there and meet someone who is good enough for you, he's cheated on his wife, he would also cheat on you. good luck | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:54:05 AM | | some of these married men have women on their "reserve" list, when they have a row with their wives they call someone up or email them and convince themselves its ok because him and the wife have "rowed", its cheating and its wrong, doesnt matter how good looking he is, dump him, his looks will fade, your heart will mend - but for his children their lives will be deeply affected by this if their dad continues to mess around behind their backs, and its not fair to them to be put through this | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:02:27 PM | | I always said I wouldn't because I have a husband that cheated, but I have a friend who obviously likes me and is married. I had to put myself in the wife's position and remember how it felt to be left for someone else. So, tell him until they are done, and I mean separate residences and papers filed, you're going elsewhere. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:09:47 PM | | This is confusing to me why would you pursue someone that hasn't even ended the marriage yet. If he cheats on her what makes you think you will be so special? Everyone always thinks that they are the one soul mate. If thats the case stop talking to him until he is divorced see if your the one he is pining for. I imagine even if he does end it he has several lined up just in case you didn't work out. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:41:50 PM | I havn't read all the posts but I see this was posted back in March. I just wandered if he left his wife yet?
Of course not and he never will. I hope you are still running by now... | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:46:43 PM | NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER.
This is the thing that gets me angry about anyone, male or female, who complain about how bad their marriage is and they want out.... but in the meantime, they are out trying to pick up someone else. IF SOMEONE IS UNHAPPY IN THEIR MARRIAGE THEN GET THE HELL OUT! THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE!!!
For one thing, he is NEVER getting divorced. Depending on the ages of the children, at least not until they graduate from high school. As nice and believable as he sounds, he is still cheating on his wife. Would you really be able to trust him should the two of you get together??
I can see someone reading this and saying, "well, maybe for the kids...." . That's a bunch of bull. They will grow up in a household where the parents are fighting or at the very least don't love each other. Kids are smarter than that. As hard as it will be on everyone in the beginning, everyone will adjust.
I say, tell him that you will not get involved with a married man. If and when he ever gets divorced he can look you up. In the meantime, there are plenty of nice guys out there who aren't attached to someone by a wedding ring. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:59:02 PM | | Absolutely not. Being the wife of a husband, who had someone pursue him......I would never do that to anyone. My ex ended up leaving me and married her. | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:20:49 PM | I would run like a dog! If he is still interested in you after he has healed from his divorce experience then he can call you at that time and if you are still available and willing then pick up where you left off.
Good luck! | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:30:46 PM | lancer525
It ain't about morality it's about bullsh*tting somebody, which is EXACTLY what this guy is doing so he's got a little extra nooky in his back pocket. He ain't gonna divorce his wife and marry the OP any more than pissants are gonna learn to fly F18s.
Is that plain enough and direct enough?
It ain't about adults and morality, it's about a vulnerable person being lied to.
Cindy O | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:15:10 PM | I took a class in nursing and lobotomy and I met him there.
I never asked him how old he was, but he is at least 10 years older than me. (I am 23) | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/19/2007 5:00:35 PM | If she wants a married guy, let her go get him. They're all adults.
Alright Lancer! Not like anyone else is gonna get hurt, like, say, his wife!
Hey, tell you what, give your wife/girlfriend my name on here, and her and I can hook up for a while... I'm sure she can come up with a good excuse, like she's 'working late' or something, while her and I are out knocking boots. And hey, its not really a problem, right, after all, we're all adults here right?
Or would it somehow be a different story when *you* are the one getting cheated on behind your back? | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:07:06 AM | | girl you are seriously playing with fire because the whole im married but i want a divorce thing isnt persuading do you realize that he is playing the field you better think twice before you keep wasting your time with this loser cause you aint the only one that he probably has said that to and you wont be the last move on and find a man who is worthy of your love and affection and if he wasnt honest from the get go uh oh you should know that he is stringing you along wake up | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/20/2007 7:50:39 AM | | i can understand how you feel, i nearly got involved with someone like that once but after separating my head from my naive young heart and listening to my brain i eventually decided to run, get out of there, and I will never go back there. You can do it too, if he's got kids then you have to think of them, it would break their hearts if they found out what their dad was doing, you can do so much better than get drawn into this as you will get hurt once he either does the same to you or his wife finds out what's going on. The best thing to do is keep away from him if you can, i know how difficult it must be for you as you have developed feelings for him, but believe me time heals and you will wonder why...in say about 2 years time....what on earth you saw in a man like him | |
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/20/2007 8:48:02 PM | Yoyanna, you are sooooo young. I vaguely remember 23....so much to learn. I don't mean that to sound patronizing, it's just a fact. I'm betting he sees that too. I know you're lonely...many of us are. It just isn' t worth sacrificing your self respect. When my husband left me for a younger woman, I was crushed. First, I had no idea it was coming. Second, it ripped our family apart and my children still suffer from the repercussions. Third, I have a very difficult time trusting men now. Only now, 6 years later, am I feeling even close to ready to getting involved with anyone. What he did was the most hurtful, deceitful and degrading thing I'd ever had done to me. I felt stupid, unloveable, and I was a shell for a long time. Do you really want to be a part of making another woman feel like that? Trust me when I say this: He is not your soul mate. To believe that is a tragic degradation of your own worth. Be patient and selective. It may sound a bit simple, but I found the key to getting past feeling like "I had to be with a man no matter what" was getting comfortable in my own skin. Find things you enjoy and pursue them! Lean on your girlfriends...but not the one who's more interested in her boyfriend.
If he was really that unhappy in his marriage and truly wanted to be with you, he would make it happen sans wifey. To even suggest that the 2 of you have a relationship while he's still in his marriage is such an insult. If there are no kids, there is no excuse what-so-ever. Even if there are kids, she's living in another country. What's the problem with a divorce? I really think you are being led down the garden path here.....you will get hurt! Do yourself a favour and move on....I recommend a fling with someone completely innappropriate (but single)....it's a good shot in the arm and good, harmless fun! Get brave and ask men out yourself.... | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 149 | |
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/21/2007 12:24:23 AM |
Tell him to call you AFTER he ends the marriage! Truly ends it.... Couldn't have said it better myself.
If you give in to him now, do you honestly believe that he will still end it? I doubt it. You never know, of course, but I doubt it. Then he'll be happy with a wife and a girlfriend.
there are so many prudes on this site! People who think cheating is wrong are "prudes"? No, some of us think that marriage vows should be taken seriously. Silly people that we are.
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| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 6/21/2007 11:12:50 AM | sure, you bet I would! If.....If had a well fitted suit of armor, a permit to carry a consealed weapon and was an ace shot! | |
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