| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:37:52 PM | Remembrance of the time the street lights said you must come in
.... playing and laughing saying by to your best friend
Remembrance of the time when you heared a friend was killed
....shot in the head now her life is still
Remembrance of the first time you kissed
...... Not knowing it would lead to love and blist
Remembrance of things that you really care not to share
....... glad that your grandmother was there
Remembrance of the day when she left this place called earth
missing her deeply thats the worst
Remembrance of ......... many people several places casing there mark onto the greatest fringerprints..... placed into this heart...memories of the largest cloud floating swiftly across the sky..... memories...
They will never die | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:49:23 PM |  Truthishere........that was very livid......and your memories...I feel! 
Determined to make you see why..........
I am so strong.......and never shy..........
I have lived my life........alone.........
a son..........raised him alone............
not always fun.............
But needless to say............
I have done it all good............
my life is it's own.............have lived it well!
I never look back..........for I know that I dwell......
in your mind.........lest you ever find.......
the time to call...........for is not your nature......
Don't ever call.........for with you....life is dull.......
Life has been so much brighter............
since you left my side.............
and just to say.............
I like it this way!
You put a damper...........on my soul.............
and this dampens my soul.............
Lest better you stay away.............
I like it this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodbye..........stay away.........
Life is better this way!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry friend.........
I speak truth..........
never mince words!!!!!!!!!
Give you life with another........
for I pray.............
to above............
for with you I just die........
and breathe my last sigh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is my last goodbye~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:26:33 PM | Seeming men do not understand
what it is .......to live this land
alone.......children
have to make it all alone!
take care of everything.........
hell I know how to do plumbing!
Men are unsure of me.......
I have become too complete
needing only what i need
Life is dull
but life doesn't bleed
I take care of everything
been this way..............
a long , long time
I am used to the dirt
dig me up
make me hurt
somethin' else will break down
asoon as I call the repairman
a CLOWN!
LOLLL,,,,who cares.......
shit..........life sucks.........
git some more of IT~!
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| Defy the odds.......
Posted: 4/23/2007 1:51:44 PM | Intrepid thoughts of loves lost jaunt
finding without........is not for naught
Simply taking care of self......
comittments....bring another wealth
Feeling acommplishment and proud
for what I have,,,,,,,,,not what I lost
simple life is always easier........
trouble comes.......with more to join me....
Living for what I have fought for.....
life finds me here.........feeling more!
Generous I always am............
but keeping one that doesnt plan.....
to bring another in to seek..........
for often made my pure life reek!
Many others feel the same..........
they play on here.......but never change.......
I seek only one that is true.....not fake..........
for with their love........my heart would change! | |
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| Defy the odds.......
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:24:13 PM | I have read many poems in your thread and have enjoyed doing so. So many different sticks that are stirring my soul right now. Many thoughts of past events.
I remember.......clearly
Thirty-five.................I cried like a baby
Deep sobs of excitement and sadness
On that day in August
I became a man
She was pregnant................I was filled with uncertainty..........and even a little fear
Me.......a father.........never had thought much about it
Past life........carefree........rebellious.......a renegade
Except one blessing I was given
I had helped to raise my nieces
Much thanks for past blessings ........on that day......as it brought confidence and clarity
Thirty minutes of breakdown
I was okay about being a father....and excited
So excited
I realized the tears that I shed as I shed them that day were not only
That I knew my life as I knew it was over
But that my marriage was over as well.......just a matter of time
A promise I made during her pregnancy..........
"You get him into this world"........
..................."And I will do the rest"
And proudly I can say........................
I kept my promise..............................
A father and a mother.......but most of all
The thing that means the most to me.......................
My son knows he is loved.......................
As he calls me "dada"
Forever......will I remember that word......the softness of a child's voice.....the love behind the voice and word........tears shall always gather in my eyes as I recall the days of being his "dada" | |
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| Defy the odds.......
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:30:59 PM | | J.D. thanks for stopping by,am glad you enjoyed...please come back! I enjoyed your poem...words as well! Simply the most wonderful moment of my life....was the birth of my son....without him...I would have come undone! He is going on 20 now...but the love is there...always will be! I too....had sort of the same event...with the birth of a son....our time was spent...his Dad...and I , were of a different sky...just to say...it was rough! I feel ya! hugs jules | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:17:42 PM | Memories flounder
like scribbled nothings
on a tear stained notepad
leaving behind
puddles of diffused blotches
that formerly bore semblance
to a once happy heart.
Memories deceive,
leaving delusional epitomes
false senses of insecure happiness
neglecting to remind of woeful bygones.
Memories incapacitate
self healing
leaving a heart wrenching,
crying
longing for just one more embrace.
Yet, memories are all that remain.
Memories treasured
of what were and always will be,
the best days of my life.
Sweet man of mine,
Thank you for the memories.
RoxyRoxRocker™ © 2002-2007 All rights reserved | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:26:45 PM | Can my heart live within
memories of deep hard sin
seeking only what once was
never knowing lasting love
Incandescent candles glow
within my heart, within my soul
lasting long enough to show
as the wind doth gently blow
Seeping through the cracks of time
forever knowing what was not mine
lucid thoughts and crime does play
within my mind, I forever stay
Lasting thunder, lightning whales
Simply grasping.....meaning fails
Lost within the wheels of time
forever gone........never mine!
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/25/2007 9:02:58 PM | Caught
In between phases
In the eye of the storm
There is no room for thought
A sense of fleeting peace
Pervades my head
As I sit
Pondering
Why can I not
Hold onto yesterday's joys
Nor be sure of tomorrow's promises?
Time is the swiftest runner
Waiting for no one and nothing
Pausing not for a second
Glancing not back over my shoulder.
There is no way to hold onto yesterday's dreams
Memory is like a beach ever washed by new tides,
But never forgetting the waves that went before
Would that I could be as sure of tomorrow
And as secure in yesterday
That I could accept the ravaging changes of
Time.
RoxyRoxRocker™ © 2002-2007 All rights reserved
~~~Jules...Wonderful writes in your space & Lost Lust, you amaze me with each one!   | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:13:58 PM |  Roxy.....I think we feel much the same....simply to say that previous poem was exactly how I feel.....very real! Girll...you inspire me daily....we are a strange breed! lol
Destiny is but a word
always thought it much absurd
Had I known my destiny
would I have lived my life so free?
No one actually knows destiny
Fate is something we rarely see
life is what we live , here now
how it turned all so foul?
Hard to say, and hard to know
Greater minds.....could never show
what we know, where we've been
life is always a terminal spin
Take your chances.....spin the wheel
sorry , you got such a raw deal
Often after many turns
we take less chance.........heart is burned
Hard to jump off that cliff again
when heart is hurt.....and life is sane
Simply given minute promise
that within.....we can be honest
I am only trying to survive
with your heart , can you revive?
One whose heart has traveled far
visited a long blue star....
Returned again......broken dust....
only to have had one moment of lust? | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:42:42 PM | I remember, when I close my eyes its only yesterday
the hours spent together we were best friends come what may
dreams we'd stay together, that forever we'd be friends
but every road is full of many twists and many bends
two paths chosen very different but in my heart you still remain
the one who shared my secrets , and my confidence who gained
putting on our makeup in your bathroom side by side
brushing teeth and dreaming of when we would both be brides
I can't eat coffee icecream weather planned or if by chance
and not be taken back to after every junior dance
We'd be best friends forever,buy our houses right next door
get jobs and marry brothers, and be close forever more
these plans were made in inocence,with Abba playing clear
and I cannot remember them without one tiny tear
A tear that stands for frienship, and a memory so true
and one that I will not forget, this memory of you | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:28:30 PM | That memory of you.......I hold very true!
You were mine for the time.........kept me from Blue.
I knew you knew me oh too well.....i even hoped we kept it well
My son he saw it , very true....we laughed and loved..........
our hearts stayed small..........
we lived it with what we had........
he loved it , cause you were Dad.........
simply as we came upon.........love we had,love we had known.........
we felt it for our son............imagine what we could be?
Life is no ones rug to burn........I find it simply fun............
Take whatcha git..........gitta goin'
If someone dont love ya...........someone els will@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
.com............love me awesomne............lolll
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 11:53:29 AM | Difference....implies resistence.............
I simply want what is real.......
Many different.........many feel..........
I know I may not always be.........
the one whom shows........real destiny........
I live one day at a time..........
for in my heart............is all I find
I simply try to live each day...........
give what I can..........
and never play............
I give my heart....my soul.......my mind..........
to special people.....that I find.........
I know sincerity.........when I find it..........
never does my heart deny it!
I am lost.............and often found............
within............the ones.........that my heart is bound!
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:04:52 PM | The sacred wind
carries the whisper of hope,
that all creatures,
great and small,
short and tall,
can live in harmony,
together, to share,
the land and sea.
But man is frail,
sometimes must learn,
to say I'm sorry!
Jules...I am sorry! I never stopped caring, and thank you for sharing. | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:34:57 PM | Mandrake.........I welcome you here...for your words are always dear!
I do have some rethinking to do....for my life is often cruel.
I sincerely love you guys.......words are many....and very wise!
I read them when my heart gets hard....I always listen....never discard!
I have alot upon my plate....I try so hard to contemplate....
I have lived a life of hard.......often think it wayyyy too hard!
Within the words.......that I find here......from my friends......
I hold them dear.............
Sometimes life............and things ignite.......makes us scared....full of fright!
I used to be so incaceptible........to the crap........I was unmeasurable.......
I feel.....that lately..........life is it's own...........
kind of takes on........it's own tone............
I sit back..........try to relax.............
but my heart tells me...........I need to react!
I am only livin' life.............tryin' to be the best I can............
Life often takes one for a ride.............and then...........you are where?
I am simply tryin' harder...........to find the life..........
I want tomorrow....................
not an easy expidition.................
simply to say...........
it ain't jules fishin' ................
lollll | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 12:51:02 PM | I am strong because of my hardships,
My life is quite simple and free,
But I have paid my dues,
To achieve harmony.
Finding myself was quite a chore,
Took years of work and more!
Being honest with myself
was the hardest part.
Good luck on your journey wherever it takes you. | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 1:09:46 PM | Yes......to be true.......thought I found myself....years ago.........
but life went on.......things occurred......I often thought I was absurd!
I stayed steadfast within my realm.....raised a son...hard...is still!
Now I come upon a time.......he leaves me.....with his wings he flys..........
I am happy.........but sad the same........for his heart.......I always.......keep!
Now am alone...........for real............cause is simple....words are real!
I am simply looking for........the place for me..........
the one for sure!
Hard times...........I have had........seeking....more of not the bad!
I am simply ready to flyyyyyyyyyyyyy....
with one heart.............that longs to stay!
Hard enough............to feel.........the lossssssssss....
searching for what I have lost!
Simply in a world of dust.............
seeking one whom................
may bring lust..............
hope............
tomorrowwwwwwwwwwww.....
lest of kind..........
less of hurt............
and love thats kind............!
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 1:18:14 PM | Ahhh yes...leaving the nest,
one is gone and the other at best,
maybe a year or two,
school she'll be through
and then I will be .....ME!!.........woohoo!!
Yes, I will miss her
like I do her sister,
but my time to stay out late,
and not have to worry
bout getting home, in a hurry.
Just me! woopee!! Back to the woods I go! | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 1:28:31 PM | Is it that happy for you.........
cause seems it has made me a little blue?
I know.........the time has come......
but with the thought...i come undone!
Worry about him,,,,way to much........
I love him so...........his face , I'll miss.........
well,,,,,,,maybe it will be a good thing.......
maybe then.........he may appreciate............ME?
I am just a MOM....that loves..........hopes he takes it ....
all in love.........
I will always.........miss my son...........
he is special...........sent from above!
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 4/30/2007 1:36:16 PM | Of course you will miss him,
and he will miss you,
the novelty wears off,
never to scoff,
at what a mother can do.
you are a mother, it's different,
the nurturer and one to provide,
but he can no longer hide,
behind your apron
as they say!
one must have a life,
separate from the kids,
or you wind up alone,
just sitting at home,
with nothing but sadness,
little or no gladness.
but this is up to you! | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:50:46 PM | Life seemed like it never ends.......
on it goes.....like rainbows blend........
Seeming like it took forever.......
till we reached the age of never......
then it seemed it stayed , so slow.........
stuck in time........never did it flow........
Stuck in all the pride and glory................
never felt it had a story..............................
Then at once,,,,,the story stuck.........................
opened up................often sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But we plodded on....like troopers...............................
As we lived our life in stoopers........................................
Then at once.....just as quick..........life did learn.....................
lessons stick.........sat and muttered to ourselves.....what did I do wrong?
Clear..........mirror fogged, ears can't hear...............sad song........................
lived it long...........Simply takes a human heart........find the meaning ..................
of the heart!
When at once..............we sit and steer............life goes fastttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
we never hear.........just keep steering..............like a heart...................
wanted all the same to start....................
only life goes so much quicker..............................
fire cannot barely flicker....................................
take what glows........................
leave the rest.......................
For this it actually...............
our final test!
Grasp the good..........leave the bad.............
Limit........choices.............no time , we have! | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:28:12 AM | Remembering the time before
lovely life , our hearts did roar
Simply leaving gentle streams
glowing like the moons bright beams
Last of all, I lend my ear
wishing mostly you were here
Listening , I can now do well
You my heart , before I fell
Calmness brings a silent tear
while I hold the memory near
Knowing you have never gone
feeling you are always strong
Gallant waves of tides rush in
tears do fall.......and land within
One heart knows, another shows
two hearts beat, the music flows
Glad of what we knew and know
simply makes a tired heart glow! | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:49:08 PM | The road has traveled its end
I am on a real descent
Many years have relinquished tears
Now I found them within my fears
Doubting myself.....
wondering why
all the hurt , and junk remains
Looking at an open road.......
don't know which way to go
Often wonderd what I'd do
when this time is here and new
Now I spend alot of time
within my heart
within my mind
Searching for the real , for me
maybe will appear to be
I am only one strong soul
let me fill my endless woe
Searching day.......
searching nite.........
looking for the thing thats right
Life is often harder , later
when the road to hope
seems greater! | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:08:06 PM | In this watercolor of motherhood
the petals reach like tiny hands
to cup sunshine
and catch the rain
Two raindrops chase each other
down the vase, pottery from some class
designed to pass the waiting hours
of anticipation
Pieces of shell stolen from the beach
lie scattered around the vase
silent testament to days passed
and dreams silently forgotten
Silent shells that no longer hold ocean's roar
or the gentle song of children's laughter
Toy binoculars left behind
with the orange from their lunch
like other adventures lost in childhood
washed clean with Mother's tears
Teardrops feed the flowers
plucked from the garden along the walk
and tiny hands cup raindrops
that splash with laughter
and echo melancholy dreams
Never fear my dearest friend
When you become mother of a son
You become a Queen...
RoxyRoxRocker™ © 2002-2007 All rights reserved | |
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| Infinite Memories
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:29:52 PM | thanks.......and hugs Roxy......no one else seems to know what I feel at this time....was never a glowing moment in time for me! You described it soooo....beautifully! With tears in my eyes...still.....you made me stand still!
Some look at this event as a gratification..........
it is that.........with much heartwrenched deliberation
for me.
I always tried to do the best for him........
wanted always.....his life to be less dim!
Life was not always great ,
for us ....but we made it rock!
I just will miss his sweet enthusiasim.......
his kind heart.....and gentle smile.......
I know it will still be around..........
but right now........I hear only silent sound
It is good......and will be OK
Simply to know , I want it that way......
I am knowing he is my angel
knows I love him like no other!
Now I send him all the best...........
I will take care of the rest!
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