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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/4/2007 12:41:58 PM | Check please.....
Honestly, that's good to hear. Because I've loked back fondly on a few one nighters and hope physically and mentally that the woman feels good too. There should be no walk of shame only the stride of pride! | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/4/2007 12:48:42 PM | | yeah...I mean I guess it depends on the circumstance. If the girl in question is a bar-slut, call it what you will, has consecutive one-nighters one after another she probably has esteem issues, low self worth, 'tries to fill the void with sex' or some other cliche. On the other hand, the girls I've talked to have 1 or 2 such events in their past, the result of some crazy night, lost inhibitions . It happens, what's to regret? | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/4/2007 12:53:13 PM | There should be no walk of shame only the stride of pride!
There should be no walk of shame for either the people who like one night stands, nor for those who do not want them. From the comments in this forum, it doesn’t seem like women hate one night stands. Some do, some don’t.
I think women may be more discriminating in the partners they pick for one night stands.
Remember, the average woman gets offers for sex a lot more than the average man does. A man can always ask for sex, but it’s the women who either accepts, or rejects. The females usually call the shots. The average woman wanting a one night stand, usually has more than a few willing men to pick from and chances are slim to none that she will be turned down.
Supply and demand, there are more men who want the one night stand, less women, and those women get their pick of the litter. Which means, a lot of men will be left out, and some men will be getting more than their share
I don’t judge people who have one night stands; they are adults making personal decisions which are none of my business. No one likes to be preached to. At the same time, I do not expect to be judged as having stale societal mores because I’ve chosen not to have one night stands.
But, I’m still laughing over the “militant” remark.
I’m going out to purchase a beret, like the one Che Guevara always wore, so I can truly feel like a militant. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/4/2007 1:01:32 PM | | IMO, people who are into LTRs OR one-night-stands are equally "scary" (to me). There is nothing "romantic" about both LTRs and ONS, IMO of course! Maybe it's cos I am Uropean! | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:56:37 PM | The average woman wanting a one night stand, usually has more than a few willing men to pick from and chances are slim to none that she will be turned down.
Supply and demand, there are more men who want the one night stand, less women, and those women get their pick of the litter. Which means, a lot of men will be left out, and some men will be getting more than their share
this reason seems a good reason. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/5/2007 4:59:38 AM | Come to think of it, why are they called one night "STANDS"? Do people spend the whole night doing it in a standing position? Let me look up Kama Sutra!  Much be very tiring, to both stand all night! Sounds like a punishment in school or guard duty!!!! LOL | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/5/2008 6:04:46 PM | | I don't hate it, but the more you see someone, the better you get to know their body and likes and dislikes. Obviously, sex would only get better the more you see someone. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:44:42 PM | Men: It is normal to copulate, conquer, and get on with it without emotion.
Women: Have a greater responsiblity in their mind to make a mental connection with the man in question. Why? All to do with child rearing, mate selection, which I won;t get into.
Thats why some women feel like shit (and they often don't even know why) after a 1 night stand.
All biological.. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:15:57 AM | I think theres another issue--- some women dont really know what they want-- they might think to themselves a one night stand is fine-- they have needs too after-all-so they can be upfront with a man that its fine- but the truth of the matter is that women often (and for hormonal and genetic reasons) confuse sex with love and mating-- they dont realize or understand that men can be more callous about sex and feed their needs without attaching which eventually leaves MOST women feeling cheapened and demoralized. Sorry guys-- but thats why you get stereotyped "after just one thing". Mens genetic makeup is to "spread his seed" and populate as much as he can. It takes a strong man to go beyond his primal/base programming and set higher standards.
So again-- being upfront isnt always the way out --- sex leads (mostly for the woman) to attachment whether she wants it to or not and men, well, they just want it how they can get it. I am sure there are some exceptions, and it would be interesting to hear about them on here but I personally have tried a few one night stands... I ended up feeling attached and wanting the man to stay--so its one of those catch 22's "darned if you do darned if you dont" scenarios... better to use toys!
Thats my take on it anyway... perhaps its different for another woman-- but I dont know how she does it and stays detached... always wondered how prostitutes manage it-- how to they keep themselves from getting emotionally attached to their lovers???
All in all not a healthy outcome ... | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:01:34 AM | Nothing wrong about a one night stand. The problem is that most men are dishonest about it.
I respect a man who says what he wants far more than a man who plays around to try and get it like I'm idiot. Fun is fun, but don't try to make it into something it's not.
I've found that men who are more kinky, more well educated and more attentive to women in general seem to be the type that are up front and honest about it.
Having done the one night stand, I'm now interested in a higher level of sex (for lack of a better explanation) that requires trust, intimacy and commitment and the one night stand just won't do it for me. Honestly, why would someone want to pick up someone from a bar, take them home, f*ck their brains out and not bring it to a more interesting level? Having done both, I don't see the validity in the one night stand anymore.
I also like the fact that I'm reading in this thread about the biology, which in essence explains most of the woman/man behaviours. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 9:53:29 AM | the problem i have with one night stands, being a woman, and men please enlighten me here.
heres the scenario- You have a very good sexual encounter with a woman, the sex is wild, and you both enjoy yourself. If it was that good why does it have to be a one night stand? why cant it happen again with the same person?
most women id say who sleep with a guy would sleep with the man again if it was good but not vice versa? | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:09:29 AM | Really???......Hmmmmmm.....
This is such a generalization that it is hard to even comment on it. Maybe when younger and still counting the notches on my bedpost, that I would consider a one night stand as a way of life and dating, but that was long ago.
As we mature, and grow up, most of us learn to think with our large brain and not that smaller one that use to control many of our urges....... I have little need to ever do a one night stand, and prefer to sleep with another many many times and enjoy them, the experience, and adventure together.
What I do not want, is another to think that just because we are together, and in a relationship, that the end result must be marriage. What I prefer is to just enjoy the monogamous relationship that we have, the time together, and all that we can and will do......nothing more......nothing less......
Just my opinion........   | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 10:20:25 AM | Okay, i agree sex is sex and its all physical. Its a basic human need. Now the thing about sex being about the woman and her giving her body well thats because we let men inside our body. The only other way to be that physically close to someone is when a baby comes out. And most of us our fisrt time well it hurts and changes us inside. Our soul grows a lot in a very short amount of time after that fisrt sexual relation. But women who cant separate the physical from the emotionnal well they are simply to emotionnal or drama queens if you will. They feel as though the man will get what he wants with her then toss her aside.But isint that the point of random sex? And dont forget MEN , most of the time the sex is over when the man "decides" it is. Now we decide when it starts. Sounds fair to me .
If two people decide to get naked and have a good non emotionnal time and let stay that way i say good for them! Women must feel free to be the sexual beings they are and embrass that "power"(lack of a better word) we have with our sensuality and feminie touch, explore that side of you and dont wait till your forty! And you dont need to be a total slut to that either.Exploring your sexuality dosent mean sleeping with a different guy every night but hey if thats what floats your boat who am i to juge? | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:09:42 AM | Well...I just don't think one night stands are ideal. I think both men and women can agree to that. But, they happen...doesn't necessarly mean women "hate" them.
The thing is that women usually have to have an attraction to a man to have sex with him. Where that is not as necessary for men. Yes, men do have to like physical characteristics; but, for a women they tend to romanticize. There is a fundemental difference ... you can see it in the movies men and women like...men like fighting and action where women like stories of love and emotions. I don't know of any men that really like love stories.
As far as the stigma of sleeping with someone on the first date...I would not necessarly say it is the "man's fault." As a matter of fact it is expected that women are the ones that are to be the moral gatekeepers and they are the ones that take full responsibility. I don't think it is fair; but, it is a fact. If a man sleeps with someone on the first date...so what. If a woman does...she is often looked down on and then treated differently and for what...having sexual needs?
As you said, sex is a natural progression of things as two people spend time together. But, that is the thing...as two people spend "time" together. There is a purpose in spending time together and that is you get to know that person and know what they are about. If you are looking for a relationship with someone you should spend time together. If you are looking for a one night stand than that is a different story. But, I can say that often after sex women will feel closer to the male ...as she should. But, that is not always the way it works for men...they tend to like the thrill of someone new and love variety.
So, in the meantime if you like someone and do respect them and are interested in more than having sex...there is nothing wrong with taking time. I think men can agree that if they do wait until things are right for both parties it just enhances the experience when it finally does happen. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:19:49 AM | As for me, it is hard to just be that free. To me sex is also a uniting of 2 souls ... not just a physical act.... and the ultimate orgasm is the meeting of the emotional ecstasy as well as the physical ecstasy... and this might just happen on the first time...
I suppose in all fairness, that if it were not for the negative stigma of a woman being a slut if she engaged in one night stands, more women might be less inhibited...
However that being said ... it is nice in a relationship to just have sex for the sheer physical pleasure with in this...
Atleast that is how i am...
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:38:05 AM | All of my one night stands have been in the last five years, I suppose I just needed to prove to myself that I was still attractive enough to 'pull', after being in a LTR most of your adult life you start to wonder if you still can. I don't meet many guys I fancy enough to sleep with, and when I do I'd like to do it more than once. I'd like to think they felt the same way. A one night stand leaves me with the feeling that there was something wrong with me that they didn't want to take it further. I don't necessarily mean I want to marry them (heaven forbid) but see them again and see if somethng comes of it, have some fun in the mean time.
H.x | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 11:53:30 AM | I don't think all women hate one night stands just like not all men like one night stands. For every man having a one night stand, then there has to be a woman having a one night stand unless the man is gay. There are some situations when a woman is clearly looking to have a 1 night stand or a brief fling. I had a 1 night stand with a woman while we were both on vacation. I had a brief fling with a woman was recently divorced and only looking for sex.
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:05:21 PM | i hate one night stands. Some men can be so derogatory about female genitalia, i think there is great potential for sexist attitudes to instill an element of doubt as to whether women are liked for themselves or their bodies, its great to be told you have a nice body, but knowing that a guy is deeply in love with you is worth x number of one night stands.
Admittedly i love sex, and think about it far too often, the problem is that i would want the guy to have real feelings, or i would rather finger myself to be fair , Anne Summers dildos are just ticklish in my experience
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/9/2008 12:05:13 PM | | women like sex just as much as men, but because of the double standards, women have to keep their numbers down, so a one night stand is another number which tots up very quickly, its ok for guys to have had sex with lots of people but we have it instilled into us that less is better. Just my humble opinion. | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/9/2008 12:14:01 PM | politics -women complain about them to save face. they may have been making noise about them the night before, however that was when they were screaming and scratching your back    | |
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| Why women hate the one night stand and men don't
Posted: 4/9/2008 12:20:44 PM | If the two adults are into an alternative lifestyle, I say go for it!!!!! As long as no one is hurt in the process (unavailable individuals partaking in this action) and the proper precautions are taken into consideration.
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