| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:04:18 AM | The reason I say that is because a friend of mine,very true to his family ,loves his wife ever so much,but she simply has no interest in having sex.He's tried talking to her about it ,but she clams up everytime he does.She is not a very communicative person and always keeps everything to herself which my friend believes is not fair to him for her to deprive him of sex.He has been in this predicament for over three years and he confides in me that,in those three years ,he's had sex maybe five times.He's done everything possible and imaginable,the romantic dinner thing,candlelight stuff,has bought her very sexy clothes,and like he put it,"I have done everything I possibly can to not have to resort to "extra marital sex".Now in my opinion,if that's not being selfish ,I don't know what is.He says he hasn't cheated on her yet,but he is looking.He feels guilty just looking ,but,he also feels that he has to do something to relieve his sexual frustrations.He goes on to say that he doesn't want to leave because he loves her so much,so what's a guy suppose to do?Like he said ,self pleasure will only take you so far,but ,there comes a time when you need this kind of intimacy.Any suggestions and advice would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. I find all situations are different and everyone has their reasons,but hey,this one is a little different because the man does love his wife so much,and there is nothing he wouldn't do for her,absolutly nothing.Also before anyone suggests counselling,that topic was brought up,but fell on deaf ears,and she didn't want to have anything to do with that.Personally I think this woman might need a reality check,because she has got this great person all to herself and she is just throwing it all away. Thanks and I appologize for the length of my post. | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 52 | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:06:44 AM | He's supposed to ask her if she minds him having sex with other women.
If she minds, then too bad for him unless he wants a divorce.
Really, what is with people taking marriage vows.
Why not just save yourself the money and shack up. | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 54 | |
| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:10:17 AM | I always keep my promises and marriage involves a lot of them. If someone doesnt keep their promises to me in the workplace they lose my respect. People who cheat, whatever the reason arent keeping their promises, it lacks honour and I just cant respect them.
If he did start seeing other women he isnt emotionally free to do that so its not fair on the women he dates. Then she goes out and perhaps lumbers her next guy with her insecuritiies about guys being married or cheating. Its a huge nasty circle .. | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 55 | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:15:39 AM | Blue eyed gal,you make it sound like it is all his fault,when all he is trying to do is remedy the situation and save his marriage.I think "too bad for you",seems a little on the insensitive side or am I interpreting what you said the wrong way?
On the other hand blue eyes ,I couldn't agree with you more on the living together statement you made,it would save a lot of grief for a lot of people.Of course ,it also has it's downfalls too. | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:23:04 AM | | She does say that she loves him very much blu eyes ,but don't you think she has a strange way of showing it.Sure ,it's a given that sex is not the only important thing in a relationship but if you say you love someone ,isn't that suppose to be totally,or,wouldn't it be fair for her to at least give him some kind of feedback as to why the situation is the way it is? | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 60 | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:27:55 AM | | I must agree with you dragon,that factors play an important role ,but an explanation of some sort and finding out why her libido is so low sould also be considered on her part,considering he is trying everything on his,and being at the receiving end of all of this. | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:30:15 AM | | Thanks nergal,I don't think that this was even considered or thought of for that matter,nevertheless ,she has to agree to go,and she must make that first step to do so don't you think? | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:30:32 AM | Sat..like I said she may not find him sexually appealing anymore so how can she show an interest in him sexually?
I find that men never consider that when they get older. They always say the woman just doesn't have a sex drive anymore. | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:32:07 AM | | Oh yes and if it is then it can be a long haul, try the web for underactive or overactive thyroid, it has a lot of symptoms and varies in its effects but it affects around 10% of women at one time or another .. | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:37:09 AM | Point taken blu eyes ,but don't you think she can at least tell him that instead of claming up and say nothing at all.You do have a good point though.
About your point on men never considering a woman losing her sex drive when she gets older....so then ,what about the man who still has the drive, what's the man to do? Go crazy? | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:40:30 AM | no no....I didn't mean losing their sex drive because they're older.
I meant losing their sex drive for their MATE because the mate has let himself go downhill or whatever... | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:47:28 AM | (prepares for flack).....
most likely she DID tell him lol
isn't that why most women say "he never listens to me?"
Yes true about increased desire as women get older (keeping in mind not desire for just any male body in the woman's presence- he would have to appeal to her sexually)
letting himself go...I don't know could be anything, doesn't bathe frequently, slams bams and thanks you ma'am ( gotten lazy) who knows.
I must say you are a very very concerned friend | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:54:17 AM | we can't really know how much was talked about and what wasn't I don't think because we're only hearing one side of the story.
She could love him yes but, if he's let himself get funkified, and it's a turn off...... | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 4:55:16 AM | lololol.....needed that dragon ,that was too funny.
Definetly agree on the heightened sex drive,wooo hoo and hee haw..lol
What he says to me is that he always put her pleasures first and that is why he doesn't fully undersand the situation.So apparently she was getting cookies ,ice cream,cake and icing on top.
Your thought is exactly right "dragon" ,but the "build up" of sexual enheightment(?) makes for great sex,doesn't it? | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:05:14 AM | True.Wish we could be flies on the wall sometimes to really get the full scoop on things.Yes it's true that just hearing one side,makes the other person look like s**t,and sometimes leaving out one little detail ,could dramatically change the whole situation,I couldn't agree with you more blue eyes
It has come time for me to leave now,not that I want to,but I will check in with you guys later today.Thank you all for your thoughts and advice,I will pass it on. | |
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