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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:08:17 AM | | Hi tic toc ! could you elaborate a little on that for when i come back,like I said ,I hate to leave but commitments are draggin" me away."I'll Be Back", later | |
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YX32
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Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 79 | |
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YX32
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Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 80 | |
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gcfup
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Joined: 8/24/2005
Msg: 81 | |
| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:49:02 AM | | I will start by telling you that that i am married and have been for over 11 years. Life never stays on the track you think it will. Five year ago my wife got sick and she will never get well. I have given her my word that i will never leave her and I will take care of her for as long as she needs me to no matter what happens. I am no saint, I am here after all. So I am 49 years old and very very healthy, am i to live the rest of my life without being intimate with someone?? there are many kinds of love, love that based in lust and passion, based in respect common interests. I know that you will say and love that will last has to have all those within it and i agree but that is not real life. To look at the cheating thing on a wider scale. There are many things at work within a man and a woman and they differ greatly. The man as the instinctive need to "spread his seed" he may not understand why he is doing it and most men dont but he had the need. The other side is the woman need to find a good provider and a man that can fater her children and protect her. when he becomes a bit older and not as veral she offten looks to a younger man. At the point in your life you will find these ideaas a bit hard to understand......life is not what we think it is.....the idea of staying with one person is an idea that was created by man not nature. It was created to control the masses as was religion....but that is an entire differnt topic. So in closeing i hope you dont think badly of me for looking for a lady that is willing to share her passion....i have rules to follow and have given my word i will not break them.......i look forward to hearing from you. | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 9/25/2005 5:59:04 AM | bull pukey hokey crap that a man has an instinctive need to spread his seed
as IF women don't have sexual desires as well
WHY are men so clued OUT about that?
Women don't need PROVIDERS anymore!!!! what planet are you on man?
Cripes, I have more balls and guts than most men I know.
I don't understand why people take marriage vows if they aren't going to keep them.
Yes things change, we all know that. So if you know that, why take vows like 'for better or for worse'? why bother?
It's just this sort of hokey nonsense crap that turns me right off of men I swear. | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 9/25/2005 7:29:23 AM | I agree with blu eyed gal except for the part about being turned right off of men I wonder what people are really thinking when they say "I do". It means for better or worse...through sick and through health...people don't take it seriously. | |
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nergal
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 85 | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 9/25/2005 11:35:09 AM | For "gcfup",I think that because of unforseen medical reasons beyond anyones control,I think your wifes rules would be the ones to follow,if that's what she really wants for you.Of course you also have your own set of rules to follow,and that is easy enough to say now,but ,once everybody concerned reaches that comfort zone with this situation ,who's to say your rules won't change once you get a taste of what you've been missing for so long?
For "blu eyes",I must agree with "dragon",I too ,am starting to like your "point of vues" ,however,I must wonder about your "so cut and dry,attitude,without any compassion sometimes to ones situation".
I think "dragon" said it best though when he mentioned the medical condiion,and if the wife is in full accordance with this agreement,then it should be nobody's business other than the three of them.
I would also like to mention something on behalf of "gcfup" 's wife,if she is in accordance with this agreement,she must love this man an awfull lot,and it only makes me think that this man has been a very devoted husband to her,but ,hey,only they,know that right?
geez ,I talk too much!...lol....and please no comment on my last statement....lol | |
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| Married and looking???????????
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:50:02 PM | | don't date a married man just look for a truck driver (single one of course) who travels over the road so you only see him once in a while | |
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| Married and looking???????????
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:55:23 AM | | Im a married man and while i never have done anything, but i was reading through the posts here, and i think one thing is missing, and thats about finding someone you can really connect with, no not sex, but on a love, emotions type of situation, whil i love my wife im not in-love with her, its hard to understand unless you feel that same way. | |
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| I have to kind of agree with you meriittonboy
Posted: 12/27/2005 3:03:34 PM | Wow, what a discussion! Sex is a weird subject. What this discussion comes down to is sex and how a relationship revolves around it. A lot of people have commented on marriage vows and how love is forever, for Better or Worst. If that was true, then why would any women loose interest sexually in her spouse if she truly loved him? Both men and women put so many rules on and around sex. Let's face it, sex is sex, sex is not love and this is were this conversion gets so confusing. The whole spreading the seed thing is wrong too. It's just a way of saying you have a large libido. My 2 cents are, people put too much into the subject of sex. People need to work on their intimacy with the person they are with. Be honest tell them what works for you and what doesn't, if your honest and tell the truth, he or she will stay or leave before you even get intimate.
Now I've got $.98 more cents to spend.
Jim | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 12/28/2005 4:54:41 PM | | after reading most all messages regarding this topic i have concluded that no-one can ask such a question while believing "married and looking" is either a male or female ego trip. most of us can come up with the simple and ill thought answer that it is wrong. well , step back and enter the real world. there are reasons, there are wonderful married men and women that for sound and intelligent reasons have reason to search the adds. wake up and stop the narrow minded "if you are married,take this advise thing". listen to people. talk to people (married) and hear them out. don't chut them out. you may end up being alot richer and alot wiser. i soundly agree that some and maybe even most married but looking folks may be looking for a fast "good time". however, there are others like "gcfup" and myself that are not looking for the grass is greener on the other side thing. "think" and maybe, just maybe you will meet a person that can bring the things you are currently missing home to you. good luck to all the married and looking folks out there. you are not the scum of the earth. you are most likely a cut above most of the folks that have voiced their thoughts regarding this subject. | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 12/28/2005 5:26:05 PM | I have never been able to understand these people who actually start relationships with married people living in the hope that they will eventually win their love??????WAKE UP PEOPLE...do you honestly believe that they will change and be faithful to you...eeeerrr, dont think so....The only thing i can put it down to is that the person who chases a married person has no respect for themselves and dont think they are worthy of an honest relationship. But thats just my opinion. | |
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| Married and looking???????????
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:19:40 AM | I am some where in the middle, i cheated with an old girlfriend, whom i still care for deeply, but i now understand that she never really cared for me her husband at that time had walked out on her and she divorced him. She told me once that she really did not like men, this must be why she been married so often just to get even with my sex. Cannot walk out on my wife,breast cancer surgery a year ago, gall bladder this month, maybe hand surgery in March.
I go her medical coverage goes and no one would cover her. Moved out of master bedroom 3
years ago, would have left then but made promise to stepdaughter. Who has seen 3 other men move out and not maintain contact with her. My only hope is stepdaughter to start at UCF next year.
It is easy if you do not care except for self, I am a fool but not heartless. Have not touched a woman in over two years, so not a sex addict. | |
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| et tu
Posted: 12/29/2005 8:26:29 AM | | that's a lot of anger for only 23 years | |
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| Married and looking???????????
Posted: 10/1/2007 4:39:08 PM | Hello princess:
No yournot wrong: You are absolutely right: Whats good fr one is good for the other:
But please allow me to explaine whyim marrie d and looking: Many reasons: I have two sons ok: 36 and 40 next month: I say they should be outon their own: I play music ok: I play guitazr piano accordian mouthorgan organ andnow im learning the violin: When i try to play they all ge pissed off: Now i cant be to bad i use to play on television: I have had two big wurlitzer orghans in my home; i have seen them both be sold and watched as they moved out the front door:" I had a sister on her death bed for 13 years ok: I went to detroit area to see hewr every two months for 7 years ok: my wife only went with m e the very first time 7 years ago: When my sisters husband died 5 years ago my wife didnt not go to the funeral wieht m e: It was hard to get her to go to my sisters funeral:
we havent mad love or even hugged or kissed in thelast 7 years: so now wht do yoi think about me wanting to look:
Willyoi please send me an emai to: littlebuddy149722@yahoo.com
Thank yoiu
Tim | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 10/1/2007 10:31:14 PM | | I'm alot like you...ain't got it in me to cheat...not on a date, not on a spouse. I'd rather just say hey, sorry, not into ya...and move on BEFORE finding someone to move on with. I'm very old fashioned in alota ways...too many some say...and that's ok, but I know what it is to be cheated on by EVERY person you ever were with. It just plain sucks. I would never wanna be party to hurting someone else like that. I came close once...but just couldn't. Still, I've never known why either my bf's or both my ex hubby's cheated. The only real reason I ever got was just that they didn't love me anymore (lol....doubt now if they ever did, I just can't wrap my brain around falling OUT of love if you are ever truly IN) and that I was too old fashioned...lol. Go figure! | |
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| Married and looking???????????
Posted: 10/1/2007 10:39:43 PM | you ask why are people married and looking?
A: because they are too cowardly to leave thier current relationship, and are quite comfortable with lies, deception, and all manner of artifice and subterfuge... not to mention the occasional back stabbing, and all other sundry forms of dysfunctional behaviour...
yep. that about sums it up.
lara | |
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| Re: Married and looking???????????
Posted: 10/1/2007 10:46:39 PM | Ha, update on that one!!!! Talked to a pal who said my last ex was heard talkin about why he STRAYED....lol...my "whacked out son" and my health issues...too funny. Didn't have the health issues til after I married him, and he knew 'bout the son before we got married so that's lame...oh well. Any excuse is a good one when ya lookin' for one.
I will say after reading the response a couple of the guys wrote, it reminded me of a friend of mine. His wife has a brain tumor that is inoperable. She told him she wanted him to find someone to make him happy. Of course, he loves this woman with all his heart, and she him, and he refused at first. She then told him, as memory serves me, that she wanted him to look now, so that she might have the chance to meet the person and advise him as to whether she thought the woman could live with a man like him, since she was an expert on the subject after all!!! lol...so, he's started looking, and she knows about everyone he talks to and he tells everyone he talks to about her. That is truly one amazing couple. I don't know if I could do that, but it is the very BEST example of unconditional love I know of. | |
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