| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:47:14 AM | MSG-300 Lilbitsmom Wrote:
well I didn't have a photo for sometime I really had lost the disc for my camera and couldn't put it on my computer. Anyway a guy did take a chance on meeting me w/o a photo---I could see the absolute and total relief on his face as he walked toward me. LOL Yes I agree,, some of the most worth while people I've met on here doesn't have a picture posted.I'd emagin every weirdo on pof would come crawling out of the wood work to talk to a couple of people I've talked to if they posted a picture.. Beautiful is the word. Hey lilbit ,,you bootiful too Still haven't figured out the quote thingie ? | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:06:24 AM | Yes, pictures are important and I'd like to get past the whole idea that it's somehow shallow to base an attraction on a picture. I've come to the point that when I look at someone, I can read a lot about their personality from their countenance. In my age bracket, it's really easy to spot people with serious issues simply by looking at their face. Attraction for me is about looks and character and those appear in a picture more than I ever thought before. I'm even getting so I can see it in younger people. Issues such as entitlement, insecurity, anger, and substance abuse really take their toll and they show up in the expressions that we wear.
I'm inclined to say that there needs to be more than one photo also. I find the single 'overhead cleavage shot' to be a sure sign of deception and I can tell when people are trying to otherwise hide things with their picture(s). There are other variations on this theme and I'm finally getting wise to them.
On the other hand, I've seen some plain looking women play up their great legs or other assets in an honest way and I think that's fine. After all, everyone has some aspect of themselves that is strong and it's a sign of maturity to know what that is. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:19:57 AM | | Lol I met one person without a pic and will never do that again. I thought I was with the first pregnant man! He looked like he was going to deliver that nite. I have never seen anything like it! So your not the only one. I have ran into the ones also that think they are great looking and fun and when u meet them u wonder don't they see what I see? Your other reason of just trying to spend some time with someone they normally couldn't I also agree with. You are so right on both counts. If they post no pic there is a good reason why and now u know. What about the pics that are not them or the ones that are 10 years old. Lol I get a lot of that. So now u can laugh with me, not at me! When u do go on a date just expect the worse and u won't be disappointed. Maybe u will be pleasantly surprised! Good luck fishing, throw back the bottam feeders! | |
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dewitt
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Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 305 | |
| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:27:20 AM | | LOL .....A picture is fine, but it does'nt tell you everything..I met someone after seeing 3 pictures. When she got out of her car and smiled she had one missing front tooth and the rest were rotten. She was the first woman I have ever seen with teeth that bad,so what do I do? And she showed me a pic,but I never expected what I have seen. So anytime you meet someone online kinda expect a surprise..I've met people that looked just like their photo and i've met people that did not look like their photo...I have seen several photos of one person and each one looked different based on hairstyle and angle of photo shoot...this is why I don't put alot of emphasis on a photo anymore,I do not trust fully on a photo because the experience I had was enough to teach me a lesson. Don't feel bad or stupid,i'm sure things like this happend alot. I once had a friend that went to meet a guy at a restaurant...she looked for him and did'nt think he would show up, then a man tapped her on her shoulder,the one she was talking to that looked nothing like the photo she seen...she left the restaurant in disapointment....... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:30:30 AM | | I have only met a couple but hey they were better looking than I thought? We are all risk takers or we would not be doing this"""""" and it is part of the excitment"""" so relax What is a few bucks for lunch...????What do you have going on in your Life anyway???? | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 307 | |
| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:40:48 AM | | A bad date can also easily happen when the other person has a picture. Many people will use old, deceptive, or even fake pictures. The bottom line is that I often won't know how attractive a man is until I actually meet him in person. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:50:48 AM | People are often dishonest about the way they look. The best thing is to ask the prospect for several full-body pics before you ever set up a first meeting. Anyone who has a problem supplying those pics is not worth meeting in person.
Here's another tip: People with bad teeth rarely smile in their pics. If you see numerous pics from a prospect, and the person has a closed-mouth smile or is not smiling in any of the pics, then that is a sure sign of gaps, chipped teeth, protruding teeth, etc.: in other words--a jacked-up grill. If a nice smile is important to you, then politely ask the person for a pic where you can see their smile. If they never send one, then you have your answer.  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 9:55:38 AM | Dang! you ARE tall dark and handsome. if you were in the stated I would tell you that I am 63, overweight, sexy and find your terribly appealing. I have no trouble getting dates from here because I don't lie about who or what I am. and yes it has happened to me also...I am one of those women who wont talk to you unless you have a pic. I figure if I have to put my self out there for the world to see, so should others. But in only one instance did the man look better than his picture  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:06:22 AM | lol...my wee story, was talking to a guy who had a photo up...he looked ok, and i commented on how young he looks for bein 37....yeah we met and i walked right pass him...yes he was 37 but the picture of him up was when he was 21 and slim....the guy was seriously overweight...how angry was I...grrrrrrrrr | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 10:36:03 AM | I've had Good and Bad experiences with the whole picture thing. Like many have said pictures don't always tell the whole story. I prefer that the person I respond to/approach, have a picture, a couple as a matter of fact, and a face and body shot is preferred. But even with those you still might not get what your expecting. Case in point...My very first online Meeting/Date was with a girl that lived 120 miles from me...I had just put my profile up and got slammed with responses... so my head was swelling with confidence. I separated Interested and Not Interested, and narrowed it down to a couple of Cuties. I particularly was interested in one girl that lived pretty far away, but liked what she had to say in her profile and what she said about me... I contacted her, we had a weeks worth of conversations, she invited me for drinks, and I naively set out to meet what appeared from her pics to be a Cute, well toned, hidden gem from BFE. L *O *N *G story short, She looked at least 10 years older than her pictures (which she said she took last week), and she had the look of being "rode hard and put up wet", probably due to the fact that she was an alcoholic, which she forgot to mention, along with the fact that she had just gotten her 3rd DUI...which she got only because she was stupidly doing drugs and drinking at the same time, which she didn't normally do.  That whole experience was so surreal at the time, but has since become one of my favorite horror stories to tell...as well as being a good life lesson.
On the upside, I contacted someone without a pic based solely on her profile and name, and she turned out to be absolutely gorgeous and very funny. She didn't have a pic up because of her job, which she felt was too public of a position (she was an administrator at a local Hospital), but she provided one after the first email, and turned out to be a Great person.
I contacted another girl for the exact same reason, and she ended up looking like Darryl Hannah's twin sister...she also provided pics after the first email...however she soon closed her profile after she posted her pics because of the inundation of ***holes and idiots that approached her for sex...that's when I realised how the freaks ruin it for everybody else on here and make a the women skid-dish and too wary of the innocent/honorable among us...but that's a whole other thread...
I'm sure my two examples are few and far between and not the norm...I'd surmise that the OPs example is more along the lines of what to expect. To put it quite simply, if your not going to provide a pic shortly after making contact, why waste time getting to know the real you, when I might not find you attractive in the least when we do finally meet...that's too much of a gamble and wasted time and effort, not to mention disappointment on both ends .... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:38:36 PM | | well actually ur wrong. u may want to know what they look like ahead of time but a pic does not make the person. thier heart and personatliy does. u can get a pic later after talking to them for awhile. actaully i alwzays thought that men who didnt have a pic were good men and all are willing to show u a pic, they jsut dont like it posted on the net. and i can understand that. so pic or no pic should not matter. i met a guy 26 yrs old online. never saw his pic or anyting. we chatted for months never knowing what each done for a living,, ages, or what each looked liked and we had more chemistry than the law allowed to the point of who cares ...this is really a great person. he certainly left an everlasting impression on me even though we got parted and dont communicate today. so i can see why u wouldnt respond to someone who dont but i also understand a person not wanting their pic posted all over the net. i see both sides. by not talking to somene who doesnt have a pic u could be missing out on a wonderful person. remember one thing......LOOKS CATCHES THE EYES BUT PERSONALITY CATCHES THE HEART. therefore i guess it all depneds on what ur looking for..,..a good time or a real relationship. good luck to all | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:51:23 PM | | ^^That's total crap. EVERYONE has preferences in appearance for their potential partners, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. I show my pictures (privately) to all my prospects, and most people expect the same. The personality may "catch the heart", but looks are the most important aspect for being attracted to someone in the first place. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:56:29 PM | | well take it another way... if u get someone for looks .....what have u really got........nothing. there must be a great personaltiy to go with a pretty face. and with age all lose their great looks, it odnt stick around for life. when its gone what do u have left if u chose a lady for her looks? so what i said is not crap. its the truth. so take ur ridiculous statement and shove it where the sun dont shine. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:10:08 PM | ^^You stick up for yourself well--that's always a good trait.
Anyway, looks are so important because good-looking people take care of themselves better than people who aren't good-looking. It's the grooming, good health habits, and fitness of good-looking people which makes them better mates. It indicates that they make a greater effort in everything. Slovenly, sloppy, unattractive people rarely have good personalities anyway; therefore, looks are far more important in the dating game. That's a fact. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:12:13 PM | | Well I have sometimes thought about not posting a pic just because of my job...but im not sure i would meet someone without seeing a pic...shallow yes maybe but im real..it is what it is! I have an issue at times wondering if someone can click with me beyond my looks though.....I do agree with you even the most ignorant of ppl can still load a pic nowadays! If i can figure it out anyone can i am not savvy when it comes to anything like this ! Ive went out with some men who had a pic but it looked nothing like them! Its never about the looks its about the lieing for me! I have flat out walked out and told them why with no shame! xoxo... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:17:29 PM | | u are changing the subject that was originally started. lets jsut assume they are all well kept women. if u go for the prettiest u may never have what ur looking for in a lady. sometimes not the best looking in a person's eyes could be the best thing to happen to him or her. try thinking with the right head. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:25:45 PM | ^^^^^^
Eastside Edie, dont know you but I absolutely love your humour !
I am on the UK POF but regularly flick over to the American site for a dose of humour !
You said everything I was thinking ! "working on getting a photo INDEED " How daft is that !
Keep me giggling xxx | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:31:44 PM | | by the way spitfire i dont see ur pic posted? does that mean u want no one to respond to u? according to rule of thought women may jsut wnat to know what u look like. funny how u wont respond to a woman if she has no pic yet u have no pic. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:34:17 PM | | Eh, the fellow I met on PoF didn't have a photo posted... all these months later, the only gag reflex I've ever had with him is from laughing too hard. You never know, all you're risking is half an hour and the price of a coffee. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:35:22 PM | Beware the blue box of mystery.
To me it just means people don't want to put their neck on the line like the piccie-people do. I wouldn't want someone meeting up with me if they didn't know what I look like. I hate the idea of being greeted by a look of disappointment. I mean, you can get that anyway but at least they can't complain TOO much. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:40:22 PM | | thats very true but at same time what is stopping u from sending it to her instead of posting it on net for all to see. people can exchange pics. u dont have to post it online. some people are uncomfortable with that. but what u said is right. everyone would like to know what the person they are about to meet looks like. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 1:51:39 PM | | I just have to add that what is worse than no picture is an OLD picture. c'mon people. Everyone has a camera or a web cam. snap a shot, a CURRENT shot. I met a "young looking 45 year old" who told me he looked "exactly like my picture". Yet after chatting for about 2 weeks and finally setting a time to meet for coffee, he showed up and I asked him "so where is your brother" LOL. Turns out he was 50 and looked it (and then some) I think people, in general, want you to fall in love (or like- whatever) with the person on the other end of the phone, the other side of the computer, etc. I believe they hope it wont make a difference. But as one reply to this post stated, its not the fact that you are 50, 60, fat, tall, skinny, ugly, etc., its the fact that you LIED. If you can lie so easily about that, what else are you not being honest about. Eventually, the truth comes out. Respect who and what you are, there is no need to lie to meet anyone. They will either like you for you or they wont, its as simple as that. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:16:45 PM |
by the way spitfire i dont see ur pic posted? does that mean u want no one to respond to u? according to rule of thought women may jsut wnat to know what u look like. funny how u wont respond to a woman if she has no pic yet u have no pic.
There is a feature on this site for loading private pics. I send those pics to my prospects when I send my first email to them. Occasionally, a woman will want to see additional pics (every now and then, a girl will want to see a bare-torso shot or something), and I'll send those, too. So, yes: looks are extremely important, but I only really care about my prospects seeing my pics. Don't really care whether or not the rest of the site members see them.  | |
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