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MNM08
| | Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 326 | |
| | It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!Page 14 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | I learned my lesson a long time ago with meeting up with someone without seeing a picture. Usually from my experience if they do not email or show a pic, they are lying about their stats, trying to hide something, real insecure about their look, or they are pretty hideous.
A long time ago I met someone for dinner without seeing a picture. She told me she was in great shape, great looking, gave me stats, etc. Well I showed up and she was 4 times my size, half her teeth were missing, she smelled of B/O, etc. I made an excuse and left within a half hour. Another one wanted to go out, but I said I need to see a pic to know who I am meeting, she said forget it ( she was probably very obese ).
Women want to see pics of us, it should be the same for men also.... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:44:19 PM | | oh spitfire. i was speaking of clean pics not private ones. if a person wnats to see a private pic its obvious they are interested for the wrong reason. I am talking about people who want a relationship not a one night stand. no offense to u or anyone else. anyway spitfire best of luck with wahtever it is ur looking for. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:55:06 PM | | well spitfire why did u have such a rude response and call what i said crap when i siad samse thing . some men dont want their pics posted online. lol now ur saying same thing lol. anyway i aint upset with u. right now im laughing becuaes u siad u iddnt wnat ur pic up for whole site to see. lol. but in reality u know everything i siad was true in my first message concerning this post. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:01:11 PM | | Just because they don't have a picture means little. When they do have pictures and try to deceive you that is when its bad. I call them the 20/50 photos ( 20 years younger and 50 lbs lighter) Ladies have a male friend tell you what you are and have them tell you straight up. It will save you grief in the long run | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:14:58 PM |
some men dont want their pics posted online.
Kitten, the difference is that some guys don't even send pics to the people they contact. I always do send pics to my first contacts. I wouldn't expect any women to respond to my emails if I didn't have my pics attached, so I always send my pics to the women I choose to write on here.
My pics are recent and accurate, too. As a matter of fact, I've been told I look better in real life than in my pics. So, it's all good. Physical attraction is the name of the game. Personality is largely irrelevant.  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:18:22 PM | | I also have no pic posted, and I have nothing to hide. I am here to meet friends and to me friendship is about a person, not about how they look. I enjoy the forums and could care less if I dont receive countless emails from people based on a picture I have posted on my profile. I am no cheater, not married, not disgustingly unattractive and I dont have a pic posted so........ | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:19:42 PM | | well ok so u got a beautiful woman with no personatliy.....are u happy? u siad persontaltiy is irrelevant. i do agree with u on one thing..if two people wnat to meet they need to see pic first. but as far as posting online here its really not necessary. seems to me we agree to a point. there must be some attraction but personality has a major part in it for me | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:31:49 PM | Life is for taking risks....You took a risk and it didn't pay off, Although despite her looks did you have a nice time????
I'll chat to men without a pic aslong as they can send me one another way, After all I put my ugly mug up here so why can't they?? I'm not exactly fussy about looks. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 5:37:51 PM | Like it's been said...you can easily have a worse experience when someone posts a pic that is deceptive, and further deceives you in their profile/emails. Sometimes having no pic is not the worst scenario.
Dishonest people may or may not have a pic posted... You take your chances just as much with a 'no-pic' profile as you do with a 'pic-posted' profile. You have to be able to discern from the emails whether or not you believe the person to be generally trustworthy or not...that's all you can do. Set up a short first meeting if you are gun-shy. :) I'm fascinated by the motivations of creeps, liars, insecure and deceitful folks, and such, so I don't mind a longer first 'date.' Makes for great social science!
I've only had one really bad experience. A guy who claimed to be a fitness freak and be 5'10"...then he shows up at 5'7" and 240. Uh huh. Oh, and he said he hated butter on his popcorn...maybe he just ate the butter separately??? But I digress... His pics were pretty cool. Shouldda asked for the body shot by a measuring stick I guess. *sigh*
The only guy I ever met who didn't have a pic turned out to be one of the weirdest cats I've ever met, but I continue to date him anyway. He never deceived me in anyway. He just never told me anything about himself beforehand so I had no expectations. And he's pretty cute. :D
Demand a pic or not? Either way, you take your chances! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:32:10 PM | I've always had good, pleasant dates with attractive women (and attractiveness is a matter of them taking care of themselves--clothes, make-up, hair, fitness, etc.). Attractive women are fun to be with. Plain (fat, frumpy, dumpy, etc.) women are not fun to date. They don't seem to enjoy themselves as much, and are worried about being dumped right from the get-go.
As I said earlier, there is nothing like a few full-body pics to get an accurate view of what someone really looks like before you meet them. Don't be afraid to ask a prospect for several full-body pics. Anyone who is fake (or is not attractive) won't be willing to come up with recently-taken full-body pics (from their feet to their head).  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/5/2008 7:51:49 PM | I disagree,READ THE PROFILE,TALK EMAIL WHATEVER TO THE PERSON,if there is fakery skulduggerry affot then the truth will set you free.I have met a number of women who had profiles without pics,the vast majority were honest about their looks in further conversation,sure a pic is a great foot in the door,but attraction is about personality too,and once one stands revealed as a liar by a public appearance,i
doubt if much faith would be put into anything they reveal about their "inner beauty".
The dates i have had with those with no pics,some were entirely awesome and i look foward to seeing one of those ladies again at some point in time,as for the rest of said dates hmm well,having a tooth pulled with no novacaine on a small boat in the middle of a hurricane comes to mind.But thats just what happens to me,will i do it again ,sure if theres something in the profile or the conversation that interests me,take a chance live a little you might be suprised,or at least have a story to tell. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:09:27 AM | Happens to the best of us,both men and women.I had it happen to me,I THOUGHT I was meeting the person on the main photo and when I show up obviously their posted pic was obviously from a long time ago.
I always post recent pics of myself,let's just be honest people,it's the best policy. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:18:38 AM | This from a guy who's wearing dark glasses in his profile pic 
Oooo, you must be hiding something. C'mon, saying anything else obviously means you're providing a "litany of excuses."
And to OP, you are entitled to your opinion about pictureless profiles but I think it's quite a stretch to accuse everyone across the board of nefarious motivations. I know people will assume that of me, but that's OK because they are people I would not wish to know so it all works out  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:28:28 AM | I feel having a recent pic and being honest about it is important.Some say "I would like the person to get to know me first and not by my looks" is just redundent,as I feel that everyone is "attracted" to something different.Something in our brains clicks when we see someone we think is attractive,we don't "know" that person yet,so at first we are attracted by looks ,but then again looks can be decieving,an "attractive" person can be totally unattractive in their personality,and we may not find that attractive,I know I wouldn't.On the other hand,one could meet an "average" looking person(whatever that may be),and they may have an endearing,attractive personality,and be attractive to us.So I guess it all boils down to the old adage,"Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder".
So in conclusion,I feel people who post false images of themselves,well,I just feel it is deceptive and misleading.If you want someone to like "you for you",then just post a recent pic of you as you are now,be honest,for,isn't honesty the foundation for a good relationship?Nuff said. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:40:54 AM | On the subject of...... no photo........even photos can be deceiving. We have all had horror stories to tell, and they are only funny over a beer and conversation with true friends who are only going to laugh with you, and we must laugh about them or we would only cry. The man I met said he was "still a handful" even though I questioned his age, I will only say he was over retirement age, and when I arrived at the restaurant he said he would wait for me outside, the only man outside was a man on a walker. Enough said, now you may know more about why some of us women prefer to date a little younger men ...........lol | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:57:15 AM | I agree totally with what you have said. I'll never waste my time with a women who doesn't put up a picture of herself. And yes, in this digital age, it's inexcusable to not have a picture up. In fact, any woman who says it's too difficult to put one up should automatically be eliminated from consideration due to being too ignorant to meet!
I also won't drive over 25 miles either. I'll meet a woman who lives 50 miles away if she'll meet me half way. This is really important because it shows a willingness to compromise a very necessary ingredient in any relationship.
There are other considerations too. Looking at the all the women withing 50 miles of where I live, most of them are over 40 years old. That usually means at least one divorce and likely two. Unfortunately, when you get up into this age group, one encounters people with many unresolved emotional problems who really aren't ready for a relationship and likely never will be.
It's very important to carefully listen to what they have to say. There are key phrases to listen for that are good indicators of where they are at emotionally. I know from experience there is only a very tiny number who are worth meeting.
The Eagle | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:02:24 AM | I'll apologize ahead of time if I offend anyone, but come on people! If it bothers you so much that people don't have pictures on their profiles, don't look at them, don't contact them, don't meet them. End of story.
People have all kinds of reasons for not posting pictures, and what ever reasons they are they are THEIR reasons. I have to laugh at people complaining that others don't post their pictures, who really cares? I wouldn't lose sleep over it. If you look at a profile completely it states that they have pictures, so that means they have them and they are private and probably will send them to you if interested.
Do people have nothing else better to do but complain when the answer is right in front of you...don't contact, don't read, don't meet them if they don't have a picture.
One OP stated that what does it cost if you do meet someone without a picture, 1/2hr and a coffee, so there had to be some degree of interest for you to meet them without a picture. As for travelling hundreds of miles and spending all kinds of money, that was your choice to do that, so you can't complain to anyone.
Friends of mine have been deleted or reported because they don't have a head shot on their profile...who really cares except those that have nothing else better to do then search profiles all day and complain.
As for talking for months "to get to know someone", and then are disappointed of course you will be you have built this "fantasy" of someone, got to know everything about them so when you do meet your expectations were to high. My theory is talk for a few day's, set up a meeting and meet!!
Another OP mentioned that people use old pictures, glamour shots, etc. its going to happen, this is a dating site and not everyone is honest, unfortunately. That is the chance you take. Its not like meeting someone in a bar, grocery store, arena, etc.
If you are willing to take the chance of meeting someone, with or without a picture you may be pleasantly surprised or disappointed but that happens in real life as well. I've met a few men that were dishonest in their profile and their pictures. You either finish your coffee or say I don't like that you were dishonest with me and leave.
I've met a couple of men who's picture didn't do them justice, don't forget a camera adds 10 pds, and some people just don't take good pictures. Others see themselves differently than others do. When I first joined I put average...men I have met said why? you are definately slim, but that is the way I see myself. But taking off my picture eliminated a lot of weirdo's and dishonest people. I joined this site originally to meet someone, not be beseiged with pointless, dishonest emails from people looking for one night stands, an ego booster or affairs.
I personally don't care how people think about me not having a picture, that was my decision and mine alone, wasn't hiding anything anything at all.
I am actually dating a man that I met on here, neither of us had pictures posted, but I did take the time to read his profile. We both responded with emails and a picture attached, we talked for a few days, met, and have been together since.
If a lot of people stopped complaining about others not having this or not having that, guess there would be a lot more positive testimonials, as in to many people wasting their time complaining about profiles.
Again sorry if I offended anyone but had to voice my opinion. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:20:14 AM | For message 345:
The usual long list of rationalizations. I'd bet you could make an excuse for just about anybody doing just about anything. As far as I'm concerned, people who make up all sort of excuses for their behavior are just basically dishonest.
The Eagle | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:46:33 AM | | A photo doesn't always tell all....I went out with a man who posted a picture of a friend instead of himself......and another who posted a picture of his son.....go figure.......just because they post a picture.......doesn't mean its them........so all you can do is meet them and then never go out with them again......If someone is going to lie about a photo.......whatelse will they lie about.........come on now | |
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OLGC
| | Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 348 | |
| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:47:00 AM | what I have found...."no photo" with men usually means they are married or attached and don't want to be found by their significant other!
the majority of "single?????" men on here when I meet them for coffee are actually MARRIED........
and..........I am tired of hearing weight comments.....u don't like it don't look, don't bother!
As mom used to say "before you criticize someone - take a good look in the mirror cause there's probably more room for improvement there!!!!!
wise mom she was! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 7:49:31 AM | | It is so refreshing when I read I'm not the stupidest fish in the sea. Yeah, I met a guy that said he was 79, just thinking that if Anna Nicole can do it, so can I, besides he had a home in the country club, etc. Well, it's hot here, so I wore shorts and a silk blouse. He told me he was a bit older, which made him about 92, and that I was too poorly dressed to be seen in town. I just laughed--he had on a red shirt, red suspenders, and pleated tweed pants that were way up over his huge belly, and I so much wanted to ask if he was in his third trimester of pregnancy. He asked if there was anyplace else we could go, and I told him I didn't care about him, I"m on my way home. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 2/13/2008 8:34:39 AM | Rationalizations Eagle or just the truth. No excuses, I don't need them. I'm my own person, make my own decisions and am responsible for my own actions. If not having a picture on my profile made me less accessible so be it, again my choice, not anyone elses, especially people I don't know. If I chose at one time to meet someone without a picture, again my choice and I am responsible for the outcome, not going to complain to the masses that boo hoo he lied to me!
What I was trying to state was that if people don't have pictures on their profiles, why should that be anyone else's business?. If you don't like it don't look at them.
You forget Eagle I work with dishonest people everyday! if you read my profile even though it didn't have a picture. | |
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